For February, home of the most weirdly forced romantic holiday of the year, we watch one of the most weirdly forced romantic movies in recent memory: 2008's Twilight! Starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, Twilight was pretty obviously geared towards a different target audience, but we tried to give it a fair shake. Includes: practical advice for hiding immortality, the science behind Vampire (baseball) Bats, obligatory rants on abusive relationships, and why this movie makes one manatee feel old.