Twisting the Plot

This week Twisting the Plot Podcast offers Part II of our conversation with the GenZer, Fran Dintino.

In many ways, this conversation is just getting started.

There is so much to explore, so many diverse lenses through which to look at one's life experience. Intergenerational conversations lead to intergenerational living that is rich and expanding.

We stand on the backs of each other, one generation to the next, forever connected, always in flux. Our shared narratives twist over and over so that we can evolve, and evolve more.

Listen as Boomers Hannah and Cecilia talk with GenZer Fran about community, mental health, our bodies, and aging.

Fran concludes our musings with a call to cultivate a "radically open mind."

We like this very much and will try our best.

Maybe you would like to join us.

We are years and years apart. There are decades between us, the Boomers and the Gen Zer's.

Our world views are different. Our narratives do not line up.

Can we get along?

Are we able to listen to each other?

We use different language, we have varied values, we embody diverse identities. We look different, think different and feel different.

Is it possible to understand each other?

We're not sure.

But we'll try.

On this weeks' podcast we talk with 21-year-old Fran Dintino about generational stereotypes, gender and the many waves of feminism.

Take a listen and join in the conversation.

We often talk about how our minds and bodies are changing as we age. But what about our spirit? Does that evolve too? And what do we mean when we speak about the spirit?

To us, spirit means that which is felt but not seen. Perspective, inner voice, energetic connection with others, gratitude, love and a mindful appreciation for the complexity of life, is what we call – spirit.

To us, this experience of spirit seems to be growing as we age.

We are not alone.

Erik Erikson and his wife Joan Erikson added a ninth stage to their eight stages of psychosocial development. They defined it as a time for self-reflection, deep life review and resolution. Abraham Maslow termed self-transcendence as a later stage in the hierarchy of human needs. Sociologist Lars Tornstam coined the term gerotranscendence, defining it as a time where we develop a more existential relationship to our lives and relationships. In gerotranscendence we are less egoic, less materialistic, more altruistic, with expanded awareness and tolerance for the whole of life.

We know it sounds a bit unpractical and not pragmatic, but we like that.

What about you? Are you noticing the edges of something cosmic beckoning to you?

We would love to hear about your twists.

Well, here we are. Another Fall. Another starting over.

Whether it's school, work, or perspective, we (Hannah and Cecilia) find that as the seasons change, so do we. It's supposed to be that way, right? Nothing stays the same.

Yet, as we change, we also preserve the multitudes of who we've been in the past. It's quite the collection. So many years, so many selves.

Writer Anne Lamotte says, "We contain all the ages we have ever been."

We are like living nesting dolls. Each doll holding a piece of our personal and collective histories.

But the dolls aren't fixed. They grow too. Each doll, dwelling within, changes as we evolve.

We are not static.

We are complex.

And getting more so each day.

This week's podcast offers a reflection on change and growth. Join us, as Hannah and Cecilia talk about ways that we are, in body, mind, and spirit, becoming more and more complex.

We couldn't get enough.

We wanted to learn more about elderhood from our podcast guest Dr. Tracey Gendron, so we asked her back for part II.

Dr. Gendron, author of Ageism Unmasked and Chair of the Gerontology Department at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond is back this week to take a deep dive into two relevant social constructs: caregiving and retirement.

We talk about the history of caregiving, giving and getting it, and discuss how to give care more value and importance.

We tackle the concept of retirement. Is it a stage of life? Or just a withdrawal from a job?

The more we talk, the more we understand how elderhood, in order to be unburdened with ageism, takes contemplation, work and a lot of imagination.

Thank you Dr. Gendron for leading the way.

Here's a twist for you.

We are getting tired of promoting "successful aging" and no longer want to buy into the social construct that defines aging and being old as a problem to avoid.

We don't know about you, but we are getting old… and loving it. But not because we are staying young, or not facing losses. We love it not despite of the challenges, but because of them. We love it because we are growing and changing. We love it because there is an opportunity to create yet another purposeful stage of life.

And that's what twisting the plot is all about.

On this week's podcast we talk with Dr. Tracey Gendron. Dr. Gendron is the Chair of the department of Gerontology at Virginia Commonwealth University and the author of Ageism Unmasked: Exploring Age Bias and How to End It. She expounds the many reasons why ageism matters to all of us. She shares how the "biomedicalization" of aging has turned it into a disease, and something we need to fight.

But what if we could conceptualize aging in a different way? What if aging, and even death, were embraced as a shared experience, instead of an individual failing? What if becoming old, was a transcendent experience that we all look forward to?

Hard to imagine? Before you dismiss it, listen as Dr. Gendron proposes Elderhood as the antidote to the ageist roadblocks to becoming:

Anti-ageism through elderhood shifts our focus from who we were to who we are in the present and who we want to become in the future. Regardless of physical ability, cognitive function, socioeconomic class, level of dependency, or a myriad of personal identifiers, we are all still becoming.

Elderhood is proposed as a stage in life that brings maturity, purpose and wisdom. Gerontologist Lars Tornstom even suggests that aging can bring a developmental shift in perspective that is more cosmic and transcendent.

We want some of that.

Dr. Gendron asks us, "How do you feel about yourselves as aging beings?

Thankfully, she is helping us figure this out.

It often feels like time is a conveyer belt, ushering us forward year after year. It moves faster and faster, sometimes at a pace that makes it hard to glance back and savor what's been. Sometimes a lifetime moves too quickly for us to be intentional about where we are going.

We just keep moving.

On this week's Twisting the Plot Podcast, Hannah and Cecilia take a pause and consider time from a different direction, vertically instead of horizontally. In this way, time becomes more than a runaway train. Time, and our lives, can be a multi-layered, generational weave of the past, present and future.

Twisting time gives life texture.

We hope you take a listen and share your thoughts with us.

Abbe Greenberg and Maggie Sarachek have been friends since college. Throughout this time, they shared many things, even anxiety. For years they supported each other, through phobias, panic attacks and catastrophizing mindsets. As time went on, it became clear that they weren't alone. In fact, they found that many women wanted to talk about anxiety, its perils, nuances, and the many ways to cope. So they decided to start a sisterhood, an anxiety sisterhood.

In 2017 they launched their online community which now includes more than 200,000 people worldwide. Together, Abbe and Maggie (or Abs and Mags) host a monthly podcast (The Spin Cycle) facilitate workshops and retreats and give talks about everything related to anxiety. Their blog is award winning and they recently they published The Anxiety Sisters' Survival Guide. The book is filled with helpful information, we highly recommend it.

We loved this conversation with Abs and Mags. Somehow, they make anxiety fun, while also taking it very seriously. They speak about complex scientific findings using language that is accessible, not triggering or pathologizing. They even offer some helpful tips and advice for all.

Let's face it, anxiety is a plot twist all its own. It takes a sisterhood to get us through.

Join us.

Check out anxietysisters.com

Join the Anxiety Sisters on Facebook

In 1988 Laura Davis coauthored The Courage to Heal, a global phenomenon. It is the go-to, permission giving, truth telling, and healing guide for victims of sexual abuse. Her most recent book, The Burning Light of Two stars: A Mother Daughter Story is a prequel and a sequel to The Courage to Heal. It chronicles the estrangement, reconciliation and care-giving relationship between Laura and her mother.

And it is about so much more.

The Burning Light of Two Stars is plot twist after plot twist, as Laura and her mother evolve, change, stay the same, and rediscover each other over and over. It's a story of forgiveness, accountability, letting go and holding on.

We couldn't put it down.

Laura Davis is a deep thinking, soul touching writer and person. She chronicles the ongoingness of life beyond trauma. Her understanding and wonderment about herself and others touched and inspired us.

Please Listen.

"The price I paid to keep my mother out, at first with withdrawal, later with an armed fortress, and finally, with the polite rules of détente, was love. The pure, unfettered love I longed for. The pure, unfettered love she craved."

For TTP Listeners from Laura Davis:

You can also read the opening 5 chapters here

Direct links to buy The Burning Light of Two Stars:

Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars on Amazon

Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from Elliott Bay Books

Get a signed copy of The Burning Light of Two Stars from Bookshop Santa Cruz

Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from Bookshop.org

Audiobook version of The Burning Light of Two Stars (Laura is the narrator):

Buy the audiobook of The Burning Light of Two Stars on Audible

Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars audiobook on Libro.fm

Want to Order Internationally with Free Worldwide Delivery?

Buy The Burning Light of Two Stars from book depository.com

If you're a writer or want to use writing as a tool for healing or self-discovery, you can learn about Laura's online writing workshops and in-person domestic and international retreats at www.lauradavis.net

Social media links:

thewritersjourney on Facebook

@laurasaridavis on Instagram

Twitter (which I don't use so much) @laurasaridavis

@laurasaridavis on Pinterest

Consider the Hag.

Will You?

Most of us cringe at the mention of her.

We would just as soon keep her banished to the deep woods.

Who can blame us?

She is rot, she is ugly, she does not follow our rules. She has one foot on the other side; death.

The Hag embodies suffering, a weathering by life; she stands for oldness. She is not who we want to become.

But…Marianne Franzese sees things differently.

She challenges us to re-consider.

Marianne suggests that we could go deep into the woods of our own being to find the cast-off hag. Perhaps, says Marianne, our hag offers strength and power. She could be a container for our outrage, the keeper of the fires of social justice. She could be our biggest liberation.

Marianne says that culturally the Hag has been feared by the patriarchy and therefore demonized, degraded, and diminished to the one-dimensional. According to Marianne, the Hag is as individual as each of us. She just needs to be reimagined and reclaimed.

It's a big plot twist.

But given the overturning of Roe vs Wade and the impingement on the rights of LGBTQ+ and all marginalized groups, we may need a big twist.

Marianne asks us to consider "a very personal call to break out the extreme push for older women to maintain a certain level of beauty, grace and quietness."

Perhaps some of us are called to something different.

Listen to this podcast as Marianne discusses her reasons and plans to bring the Hag out of the woods and into our psyches as older women.

Reach out to Marianne at [email protected] if you want to learn more about her Hag Project.