OH YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DEAD? Well nobody told us! That's right folks for exactly one week only your 7th favorite podcast that you listen to strictly out of obligation is back to discuss the forthcoming Academy Awards. It's Hollywood's biggest night and for you this episode might be your biggest fright! That's right! There's a Three Men in a Baby ghost in this one! Marvel as Sean mispronounces almost every nominee's name! You'll be dazed as Bill attempts to pronounce the name of his favorite movie! You'll swoon as Will realizes what a horrible mistake he's made associating with two elderly morons! It's fun! The Balcony will be back Summertime 2005 with half a face iron (the other half look like alien science) 

Folks, the Balcony is closed for a little bit so enjoy a couple of weeks of goldie oldies and then we'll be back with Gandhi eventually!

Gobble, gobble, you flippin Puritans. It's the busiest travel day of the year and the Balcony Boys have got you covered with a turkey that even the most benevolent of US Presidents couldn't pardon. Yes, friends, it's time we travel all the way back to 1952 and take a look at Plymouth Adventure, a film that can only be described as "completely inaccurate" and "very boring." Sexier than the reenactors at Plimoth Plantation but not as sexy as anything that can be described as sexy, Plymouth Adventure tells the tale of all the drunken horniness that accompanied the Pilgrims (and others) on that fateful sex romp across the Atlantic on the Mayflower. Don't watch this film this film in mixed company because your company will fall fast asleep. Plymouth Adventure stars Spencer Tracy and a bunch of dorks dressed like nerds. Happy Thanksgiving from our balcony to yours! Black Friday sale happening right now. Go to any ecommerce site and use offer code "Balcony19" to see if that saves you any money!

Hark weary time traveler! We're taking a couple weeks off cause we're exceptionally lazy! So enjoy the VVitch this week and some other shit next week and then we'll be back for Gandhi someday!

Do you want to live.... balcony-ly? Boys and girls, grab your pitchforks and your other things that you carry on a witch hunt cause we found the 2015 trip into madness, the Witch! Robert Eggers, you crazy for this one. Join the screen debut probably of the world's greatest living actor, Harvey Scrimshaw and travel to just outside old Plimoth Colony where a bunch of super puritans run into a nasty little goat and his coven of witches. Maybe? There's almost no way to know if we understood this beautiful little movie but we sure did watch it! The Witch stars an old faced English man, an old faced English woman, an old faced English girl, an old faced English boy, the twins from the Shining and BBBBBBBBBBBLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK Philip.

Welp folks, all good things must eventually wither and die and just like the sands in an hourglass, this tv show, like all tv shows, sucks ass. It's a movie podcast and we're in the middle of spooky movie month so what better way to wrap up Boo Englund 4: The Final Chapter than with a three hour TELEVISION mini-series. It's profoundly boring for 2 hours and 30 minutes but boy howdy do the remaining 15 minutes sprinkled across this thing rip. Rest in Pieces (a movie we should have just done another episode on). It's Salem's Lot. Bye. 

Pay know attention to the man riffing alone for upwards of 7 minutes and definitely don't go down in the basement because this week the Balcony is the only safe place in the House by the Cemetery, another Boo Englund classic that we maybe should have thought more about before watching because it's not very good is it? Anyway. Enjoy!

What's scarier than being super horny? Nothing if you ask me, the guy writing this. It's a sinful pastime and should be discussed with pastor asap. It's Two Boys in  a Balcony and we're talking what might be the horniest horror comedy of all time, the Witches of Eastwick, a film in which three of the most beautiful women of all time all supernaturally fight over who gets to bang Jack Nicholson. Tough life, Jack. It's week two of Boo Englund 4: the Final Chapter!

Friends, family, lovers, we gather here today to lay to rest Two Boys In A Balcony, the award watching, formerly New England film podcast and its two hosts, Bill McMorrow and Sean Sullivan, and we welcome back from the grave Thrill McMorgue-o and Halloween Sean Sullivan as Boo Englund returns for it's fourth and final chapter! That's right! It's Boo Englund 4: The Final Chapter and we're kicking things off with Ghost Sean's first selection, the awesomely titled and mediocrely movied 1971 film, Let's Scare Jessica to Death! It's neither scary nor (spoilers) does Jessica die! Why did he pick it? BECAUSE FRANKENSEAN (there it is) SKULLIVAN (holy shit folks we did it!) is a deranged maniac! So join Thrill McMorgue-o and Frankesean Skullivan as we say goodbye to Oscar and say hello to the Scary Oscars!

Run, don't walk, to the exit of any place where you might be forced to watch one second of this week's film, Chariots of Fire, a movie so boring, I'm refusing to write another word about it. 

You can take your outerspace superhero race car movies and shove'em up your butt cause this week we've got a film that's just about ordinary people... ordinary people at the top of their tax bracket.... ordinary people in an impossibly large house that somehow doesn't have a swimming pool or maybe it did I didn't notice THIS FILM IS ABOUT THE PERFORMANCES. In 1980, American stud Rob Redford picked up a camera, winked at it, and said, "I reckon I could win best picture with one of these" and history was made. Wow. What a great piece of film journalism. You didn't know that because you can barely read. When God was handing out brains, you were like, "duh i don't need one of those" and then babbled your lips with your index finger like a big diaper wearing baby. You're basically as smart as a smart dog compared to me, a guy as smart as ten smart dogs. You're ordinary people and I'm extraordinary people. We are not the same. Sincerley, Bill McMorrow the person who wrote that you are as smart as a smart dog.

Balcony Vs. Basement. Godzilla Vs. Kong. Ecks Vs. Sever. Kenny Vs. Spenny. Spy Vs. Spy. Results Vs. Expectations. Sullivan Vs. McMorrow. Kramer Vs. Kramer.