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It's time to vroom-vroom right outta Harry's room! This isn't the Escape from Pretoria, but it's kinda the same.
We're back baby! We ask the hard questions. The important ones like what was the joke about the japaense golfer ????
Your only relatives are boring, it's not even funny
Some have called Harry a boring protagonist, but he has never been called two-faced. Quirrell on the other hand....
My mom once said "IF ALL YOUR FRIENDS WENT JUMPING DOWN A TRAPDOOR, WOULD YOU DO IT TOO?!". I thought about it, and I never did jump down a trapdoor. The thing is... Harry doesn't have a mom
The kids are bullied, the forest is not that forbidden, and your hosts ask the important questions regarding centaurs.
How to train your dragon? We don't know. Hagrid doesn't know either. Does anyone know anything at all, or is this all an illusion?
The trio finds out about Nicholas Flamel, the hosts talk about the Harry Potter video games, a quidditch match is played briefly, and Snape is the worst.
This is not what anybody means when they say they want to spend Christmas with their family...
It's Quidditch time! Harry get's on a broom, Slytherin gets petty, Snape gets sus, Hermione gets stressed, and we get to nitpick it all!
Welcome to the very unheated Quidditch Rivalry
From the publisher's feed
Two Girls. One Plot. Zero thoughts.
A chapter-by-chapter descent into the books that psychologically altered entire generations and permanently damaged our ability to perceive life…
One host is Canadian and actually understands the cultural references.
The other grew up in Russia reading aggressively translated versions with absolutely no context, but still was in for the ride.
If you’ve ever:
-imprinted on fictional men
-developed a personality disorder from fandom culture
-read 400k words of enemies-to-lovers fanfiction at 3am
-or said “the book was better”
welcome home.