Two Moms with Two Dead Kids: When Your Child Dies From a Drug Overdose

In this episode, DeAnne and Astrid discuss food and grief. What associations do we have between our children who are gone and any foods they might have loved? Do we still make those things? 

The conversation segues into a discussion about the things we stop doing because we associate them so strongly with our dead children. 

Sometimes we need to take a break from the work of grief. When your child dies from a drug overdose, the work can be endless. In the end, the timing of our work is our own, the pace is our own. We do what we can, when we can. 

A chance encounter can rock your world. Astrid talks about a recent encounter she had at the grocery store with the mother of the girl her son loved. 

After a few minutes of the last dregs of Christmas talk, Astrid and DeAnne discuss the fact that what has been known to us as Complicated Grief has undergone a name change to Prolonged Grief Disorder. Are we disordered? 

When your child dies from a drug overdose, that grief is complicated. There's no way it CAN'T be complicated. But is it a disorder? We discuss. 

Each holiday season will be different. This year, both of us experienced Christmas differently than we had before. It was "better," a shift had occurred, and at the same time letting go of loss is hard. 

At some point, we begin to wake up to our present surroundings. Maybe we realize we want a new top, or want to change the way our furniture is arranged. When we wake up to our surroundings, is it a sign of re-entry into the world? An acknowledgment that life really does go on? 

Nothing about grief ever goes in a straight line, but when a shift takes place it can be impactful. 

What are some things we can do to lighten the load of grief after a death by overdose? We talk about some of the experiences that have helped us shift our response to our children's deaths. 

Getting unstuck is an adjustment. We become accustomed to despair, and when that shifts, or we move out of it a little bit, we need to readjust to a new way of thinking about our children and ourselves.

DeAnne and Astrid discuss how their Thanksgivings went. 

A theme that came up - how do you know when it's time to make a change? We get so ingrained in our habits that sometimes it doesn't occur to us that we can stop doing the things we've always done. Because we want to!

In the discussion of revisiting old patterns and ways of doing things, we also talk about what it means to let go of something that once connected us to our children, and rethinking what connection really means. 

When you experience a devastating loss, friendships can change. Sometimes for the worse, and sometimes for the better. In this episode, Astrid brings her friend Stacey on to talk about how their friendship has changed since the death of her son. 

One of the things I miss most is my sense of connection to my son. I lost it when he died, and now I'm always looking for ways to reconnect. Do you, too? 

In this episode, Astrid and Kevin discuss different means of connecting to their son - the things they've tried, what they're open to, and what has worked for them and, sometimes, not worked. What are the things you would try to feel that connection once more?