Twolegs Talk Warriors

Welcome to our first Super Edition episode! Somehow, even though the book is twice as long as usual, this was our shortest record so far. Once again, your fun, whimsical host is taking this week off from writing the description, so you're stuck with the dumb half of the show again. Watch out for dreams about Skyclan!

Welcome, to the final episode of TLTW.

Sorry this one's late listeners! Cora decided to take last week off for this one so you're stuck with the dumb half of the show writing the episode description. Also I forgot to upload last week. Tigerclaw's back and worse than ever this week, and to make things worse, Bluestar's gone off the deep end. Fireheart's stupid, Sandstorm's around I guess, and we might finally be up to a full clan's worth of dead cats!

In case you've been reading our descriptions and have caught on to the theme, just pretend this whole thing was a spoof of the 5th Percy Jackson book.

Fireheart is Head Boy now, and stuff is going crazy at the school! The headmistress is getting weirder and weirder, and it seems like some of her recent potions experiments may have permanently affected her brain. The first year, Cloudpaw, has to drop muggle studies or he’ll be kicked out of school, and Fireheart starts noticing that one witch is kind of cute, and she kind of makes his paws tingle when he watches her leave. Cora gives a lecture on how to pronounce some common cat charms, Thomas gives an astronomy lecture, and Slytherin gets an ominous new head of house. Next week, the house cup hangs in the balance, Greystripe lobbies the headmistress to let him switch back into Gryffindor house, and it seems like maybe there is something weird going on in the Forbidden forest.

Fireheart travels from India to ThunderThwaite manor, and he feels like he’ll never fit in! Luckily, the gardener’s son Greystripe is friendly, and agrees to teach him about the natural world of England’s countryside. When they aren’t murdering small animals, they find a secret garden on the Manor grounds. And Fireheart meets Silverstream, a bed-ridden girl who’s been locked in the Riverside wing of the manor. When Greystripe meets her, it’s love at first sight. They bring her to the secret garden where she regains her strength and learns she can walk. Just in time for Greystripe to impregnate her. . . This metaphor has really gotten out of hand.In other news: Christopher Walken is lurking around the garden, Fireheart’s education in colonial India was insufficient (AKA he is an idiot), Cloudkit is a thing; and I couldn’t work Bluestar, Tigerclaw, or Yellowfang into this book plot!

This week on Twolegs Talk Game of Thrones, Winter is Coming. As the Starks brace for the oncoming storm, Jon goes on patrol and brings the Wildlings back to stay at Castle Black; Robb falls in love with a girl from across the river and gets absurdly serious really fast, putting all of the North in danger. Arya doesn’t follow directions and is badly injured because of it, and the Starks (as usual) aren’t good at figuring out who is going to betray them. We visit the Maesters for several different science corners and Thomas’s pun game really heats up! Next week on the podcast, we’ll return to Daenerys’ attempts to conquer Essos and the alliance between the Lannisters and the Tullys.

Twolegs Talk Warriors! The #1 premiere podcast about Erin Hunter's Warrior Cats series. Brought to you by 2 nerds who have too much time on their hands.

Episodes 1-3 releasing on November 9th!