Okay, fanz...slide into that cushy booth at your favorite locally owned coffee shop, close your eyes, and return to the early 1990s with us as we start this week's chat with the one, the only, Mazzy Star.

That's not her name. That's the name of the group. It's okay if you didn't know that either.

We have some classic bits, dip our toes in the shallow end with some Dixie Chicks talk, and debate whether or not "Stranger Danger" is an effective way to scare the living hell out of all parents and young children.

In short, another weekly treat!

So, live a little and get that scone as well!

BUM diddily da DUM da da BUM diddily da da....

No, it's not the Skatmaster 2000, it's a nameless assistant from UMM Enterprises writing the very catchy opening to this classic...in word form!

This week, the guys bring it on a CONVOY with 80s movies references, etymology aplenty, and a very awkward (and time consuming project, according to our underpaid editor) to bring you a clip from "Walk on the Wild Side".

No, not that one.

The one by Jimmy Smith.

Just listen. You'll see...

This is by far the most recent episode we have ever published.

Somehow, the "hosts" of this PNOAF* end up talking about Alan Jackson, 80s synth pop, Hee-Haw, hand gestures, the afterlife, and Valentine's Day.

Just hit play...and enjoy having your day made!

*podcast no one asked for

The guys (I'm gonna write in third person for this one) take on this absolute CLASSIC BANGER and delve into another topic about which they know shockingly very little.

That's right. These two brothers from the same mutha (RIP) get into it THICK with trivia, memories, anecdotes, thoughts on public urination, etc.

And Rob raps.

Need I (the unnamed narrator) say more?

Some may call him the "Beck from Colt's Neck" but we call him simply, THE BOSS.

Our irreverent conversation starts with the topic any two middle-aged Midwestern brothers know well: the Philadelphia Mafia of the early 1980s.

Steve gets a little liberal with the sound effects (SFX)...

Rob investigates exactly how one creates a nail bomb. He claims he can't find one at Lowe's.

Anyway, you've read this much, might as well press PLAY!

We're back, y'all! And we are better than... we'll let you decide.

As we kick off Season 2 (And Mom didn't think we'd ever amount to anything!), we bring you a freaking PARADE of new features and bits!

Rob gauges Mick Jagger's sexiness...

Steve postulates on the continued use of the term "horsepower"...

It's a podcast listener's DREAM!!

Just listen.

Mondays are fun again!

Omg, it's like 77 seconds of information and at least one attempt at humor before the theme song at the end. You need a description for THAT? Lemme guess: You have also dumped freshly dried laundry onto your bed, put that all away, looked down, and discovered some underwear on the floor. You can't bring yourself to determine its state of cleanliness nasally, so you just wash it again, right?

Oh...

I'm sorry.

I really thought that happened to a lot of people.

Yes, QUEEN!! This week, we bring Season 1 to a close by discussing the angelic--and arguably diaristic*--voice of Aretha M-F'in Franklin!

And, as one might expect, we also touch on the following: the Vietnam War, the original (Dudley Moore) movie Arthur, emotional rollercoaster(s), women's shelters, Eminem, the inexplicable gendering of colors, makeup, and like maybe one or two more things.

*see Episode 24 (and also 1-23 when you get a chance)

Beg your friends to subscribe.

To this podcast.

Life is short.

This podcast is even shorter.

Stop reading and click PLAY, already!

Is this great timing or what? SZA will be performing at Super Bowl 59 this Sunday (that's Feb. 8, 2025 if it's like 2031 as you're reding this and are somehow JUST NOW learning about this podcast. But more importantly, what is life like in the 30s? We all thought it was gonna be so cool to "live in the '20s' or the '2020s' or whatever, but so far...not so much...)

Anyway, you're probably reading this during one of Rob or Steve's monologues. You think YOU have problems? Try editing these two slack-jawed MFers week after week. For God's sake, guys....TALK FASTER!

It's the SZA episode, so the guys discuss the following:

Roman numerals

Italian education requirements

Mary Chapin Carpenter

"Old Town Road"

The Czech Republic

Bjork

The St. Louis Cardinals 1989 season/roster

Films directed by Quentin Tarantino

Walton Goggins

and very little more!

For requests, contest information, and confident though unreliable life advice, email UMM at [email protected]