If you're a working woman who's chronically stressed, exhausted, and overwhelmed, but wondering "is it just me?" — this episode is the validation you didn't know you needed.
Because the research is clear: women consistently report higher stress and burnout than men. Women's well-being at work is declining faster than men's, regardless of whether they have children. As women ascend leadership ranks, their symptoms of depression increase — while men's decrease.
And it's not because women aren't built for the pressure. It's because women are contending with an entire second set of barriers that most workplace conversations refuse to name.
In this episode, Unbehaved* host Meghan French Dunbar breaks down the five specific patterns that make work harder for women — from gender discrimination and double standards, to male-centered physical environments, to sexual harassment, to the ways toxic masculinity has quietly become the operating system of most modern workplaces. She backs each one with research, and pairs it with personal stories that will make you laugh, wince, and probably text this episode to a friend.
The closing beat is the one to save for hard days: if you're a woman who's succeeding in the current system, you're doing it with a weight tied to your ankle that most people can't see. That doesn't mean you failed. It means you're a miracle.
*[Editor's note: This episode originally aired under the show's former name, "Better Than This." The show is now "Unbehaved."] WHAT WE COVER
- Why women consistently report higher stress and burnout than men — and why it isn't because they can't handle it
- The research showing women's depression symptoms INCREASE as they climb the ladder, while men's decrease
- A 10,000-year history lesson: how patriarchy and modern business grew up together, and why that matters for how work is designed today
- 95% of CEOs worldwide are men. Women hold less than 30% of C-suite roles. Only 6% held by women of color. Why this is not accidental — and why it isn't fixed by "just adding women"
- Barrier 1: Gender discrimination. The pay gap, the credibility gap, the "leadership material" gap, and being twice as likely to be mistaken for someone junior
- Barrier 2: Expected gender roles + double standards. The impossible lose-lose women navigate every day — too soft to lead, too assertive to like
- Barrier 3: Male-centered workplaces. Office temperatures set for a 40-year-old man's metabolism. Porta-potties. Missing pump rooms. The physical spaces themselves say "you don't belong here."
- Barrier 4: Objectification + sexual harassment. 54-81% of women have experienced sexual harassment at work. Most don't report. And it demonstrably hurts their careers
- Barrier 5: Toxic masculinity as the operating system of modern business. Meghan lays out the three tenets of toxic masculinity — and shows how each one maps directly onto contemporary business norms
- The three insights every listener can take away:
PULL QUOTES
"I felt like I had been swimming this entire time, competing, doing my best, barely keeping my head above water. And I looked back and realized someone had tied a damn weight to my ankle that I didn't even know was there."
"Women in the workplace are essentially considered incompetent until proven overly capable."
"You're too loud. You're too emotional. You're too bitchy. You're too bossy. You're too angry. You're too much."
"Roughly 90% of high-performing women receive feedback about their personalities — compared to just 12% of high-performing men."
"95% of CEOs worldwide are men. Yes — that was nine-five, 95%."
"With 'CEO' on my name tag, more than a dozen times, men asked me while I was standing next to the chairman if I was his assistant."
"The standard office temperature formula is based on the metabolic rate of a 40-year-old man's body."
"Reducing the temperature from 77 to 72 degrees in a room of women cut their productivity in half and doubled their mistakes."
"The fact that I've been able to succeed with a weight tied on my damn ankle is incredible. Same is true for you."
Do you even understand what a miracle you are? It is against all odds."
"Just because it's the norm doesn't mean it's right."
CHAPTERS
- 00:00 — Cold open: what this show is for
- 00:59 — Today's question: why are women struggling more than men at work?
- 02:00 — Recap of Episode 1 (the five key issues from the old playbook)
- 04:00 — Why this episode isn't just for women — and why every leader needs this
- 05:30 — The research: women's well-being at work is declining faster than men's, regardless of whether they have children
- 07:00 — The 10,000-year backstory: patriarchy + business as growing-up-together
- 11:00 — 95% of CEOs are men. Why representation numbers matter for how work is actually designed
- 13:00 — Barrier 1: Gender discrimination — the pay gap, credibility gap, and being mistaken for the assistant
- 19:00 — Barrier 2: Expected gender roles + double standards — the "you were being emotional" story and the lose-lose script
- 26:00 — Barrier 3: Male-centered workplaces — the porta-potty, the pump room, the 72-degree office
- 31:00 — Barrier 4: Objectification + sexual harassment — the pitch event story and what harassment actually costs women's careers
- 37:00 — Barrier 5: Toxic masculinity as the operating system of business — the three tenets and how they map onto everyday business norms
- 48:00 — The three key insights (norms aren't right just because they're norms; notice your own biases; if you're a woman succeeding — you're a miracle)
- 51:30 — The weight-on-your-ankle reframe (save this one for hard days)
- 53:35 — Sign-off + subscribe
RESOURCES MENTIONED
People + companies referenced:
- Zahra Kassam — co-founder + former CEO of Monti Kids; currently at the Mushroom Farm in Pescadero, CA
- Cat Perez — co-founder of FAMM
- Tetyana Pedrovska — researcher whose work found women's depression symptoms increase as they climb, while men's decrease
- Dr. Sydney Hurston-Dupree — social psychologist whose research found women who use powerful/dominant language are seen as cold and less likable (worst for Black and Latina women)
- Dr. Valerie Rein — author who names women's shared experience of workplace threat as collective trauma
- Eve Rodsky — author of Fair Play, on the disproportionate emotional labor and household work women carry
- Elise Loehnen — author of On Our Best Behavior, referenced for the origins of patriarchy
- This Isn't Working by Meghan French Dunbar (Hachette, 2025)
- On Our Best Behavior by Elise Loehnen
- Fair Play by Eve Rodsky
Frameworks + concepts referenced:
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America's three tenets of toxic masculinity: (1) toughness and authority, (2) anti-femininity, (3) power and success
- "Think leader, think male" phenomenon
- United Nations survey: 9 out of 10 people worldwide still hold fundamental biases against women
- Shareholder supremacy paradigm
CONNECT WITH MEGHAN
- Book: This Isn't Working: https://meghanfrenchdunbar.com/book — available wherever you buy books
- Website: meghanfrenchdunbar.com
- Substack: https://meghanfrenchdunbar.substack.com
FULL TRANSCRIPT
[Editor's note: Lightly cleaned for readability. Preserves original voice + delivery.]
Meghan French Dunbar (00:01): Hello there, and welcome to Better Than This. This is a show for ambitious humans who are tired of the status quo playbook and are looking for something better. My name is Meghan French Dunbar, and I've spent the last decade exploring what it would take to improve work for everyone — to discover whether or not it's possible to succeed in business without being forced to sacrifice ourselves, without the chronic stress, the burnout, guilt, overwhelm, the anxiety.
As an author, entrepreneur, journalist, and resident instigator, I've interviewed over a thousand extraordinary business leaders who've achieved success by throwing the old playbook out the window and doing everything differently. What's even better is that this new playbook improves your performance, your workplace, and your life. If you're ready to admit that the way we're working isn't working, and are looking for something better than this — you're in the right place. Let's get started.
Meghan French Dunbar (00:59): Hello there, and welcome to Better Than This. My name is Meghan French Dunbar, and I'm going to be your host today as we talk all about why women are struggling in the workplace more than men. Yes — research-backed — why women are struggling more than men. We're going to get into some of the deeper issues that are potentially hidden barriers most people aren't aware of, that are actually holding women back and causing them to suffer while they're working.
The reason we're doing this: in order to explore solutions, we first need to truly understand the problem.
You might be asking yourself: is this episode only for women? Absolutely not. This is great information for any leader to have, regardless of gender identity. It makes you more knowledgeable. It helps you better understand how to support your team, create a great workplace for all, and become a more multifaceted leader.
If you joined me for episode one, we talked about all of the ways work currently isn't working for everyone, regardless of gender identity. Quick recap: we covered five key issues that are exacerbating the mental and physical health issues people are contending with under contemporary business norms — what I call the toxic business playbook. The five issues: (1) overly demanding, high-pressure workplaces; (2) cost-cutting scenarios that put people's finances and physical safety in jeopardy; (3) hierarchical command-and-control cultures; (4) hyper-competitive and individualistic workplaces; and (5) the winner-takes-all paradigm brought to us by shareholder supremacy.
If you want to dig into all of those, check out episode one. What we established: those five issues tie directly to the six key causes of burnout, the main drivers of mental and physical health issues, and the key causes of stress.
Today, we're specifically looking at why women are struggling more than men.
This started as an observation. I was contending with significant levels of anxiety, depression, and ultimately full-scale burnout as CEO of my first company, Conscious Company Media. When I started opening up about it — at keynotes and events — people would come talk to me after and share their own stories about burnout, stress, and undiagnosed medical conditions related to work stress.
And I started noticing: I was hearing more from women than from men.
I heard stories like Zahra Kassam's — co-founder and former CEO of Monti Kids. Story after story of profound struggle in the workplace, and disproportionately from women.
I didn't know if this was because women were just more comfortable talking about it, or the result of my network. So I looked into the research. It turns out the research supports the observation. Women consistently report higher levels of stress and burnout than men. Working women's well-being is declining faster than working men's — regardless of whether or not they have children. Research by Tetyana Pedrovska found that as women ascend leadership ranks, their symptoms of depression increase. Men do the exact opposite — as they climb, their depression symptoms decrease.
I'll say this right from the top: it's not that women are built differently and can't handle the stress and pressure. That is not what's happening. What is happening: there are numerous issues in the business world that work against women that men do not contend with.
Meghan French Dunbar (~07:00): So — the idea of business has been around for a few thousand years. When business became a thing, something else was also on the scene: patriarchy.
You might have heard this word. It might make you uncomfortable. It used to make me very uncomfortable. I used to feel this way of "patriarchy isn't really a thing. Men and women are equal now. I have the same access to opportunities as men, so that's not an issue." Then I actually learned the definition and started experiencing patriarchal beliefs in the business world myself. And I was like — maybe. Maybe it's still an issue.
Patriarchy, put simply: the foundational belief that men are superior to women. Societies or cultures where men hold more power than women.
This is true of nearly all present-day societies, and has been for about the last 10,000 years. If you want to go down the rabbit hole, I highly recommend Elise Loehnen's book On Our Best Behavior. The first chapter is all about the origins of patriarchy. As I was reading it, part of me was like — wait, haven't men always dominated women? Isn't this the natural order of things? In fact, it isn't.
Before about 10,000 years ago — when we aggregated in cities — we were nomadic tribes, hunter-gatherers. Most research supports that men and women were considered equal. Then a number of things happened. Monotheistic religions. Yada yada. And all of a sudden we have societies where men are considered superior and women are seen as inferior, whose role is to support men by staying home, bearing children, doing domestic labor. Docile, subservient, kind, nurturing, meek — so they obey the men in their lives.
These patriarchal beliefs were already firmly entrenched in most societies worldwide by the time business became a thing. And so business, as it evolved, has always been under the lens of patriarchy.
One of the scholars on this says one of the quickest ways to determine whether or not you live in a patriarchal society is to ask: is the norm that upon a heterosexual marriage, the woman takes the man's last name? How odd would it be if a man took his wife's last name? Would that be considered atypical, against the norm? Would that man be questioned? Yes.
Back on track. Patriarchy. Business. Here's what happened as a result of them growing up together: men have almost always been the ones designing how business evolved. Contracts, workers' rights, norms, practices — nearly all established by men. Exceptions existed. In the last few hundred years, there were women who owned things like brothels and boarding houses — the things considered below men that still had to exist. But it wasn't until the 1970s — 50-plus years ago — that women began entering the workforce in earnest beyond basic entry-level roles.
We've made progress. And men are still in nearly every leadership role worldwide on a major scale. 95% of CEOs worldwide are men. Yes — that was nine-five, 95%. Women hold less than 30% of C-suite roles globally. 22% held by white women. 6% held by women of color. Less than 30% of senior management roles. The 10 largest companies in the world: all led by men.
You can see where I'm going with this.
Why does it matter? I am not saying men are inherently evil and because they've been in charge, business is broken. I'll say that again for the folks in the back: I am not saying men have broken business because men suck. Not saying that.
What I AM saying: men who have been societally conditioned with patriarchal beliefs about women's inferiority — and more recently with toxic masculinity about what it means to "be a man" — these beliefs are held by many of the men in positions of power. And as a result they now pervade the business world.
Here are the five key ways they show up.
Meghan French Dunbar (~13:00): Barrier 1: Gender discrimination.
After I did my MBA, I got a job I was so excited about. I was on the leadership team of an organization I'd looked up to for years. A few months in, I'm the Director of Development. They send me our annual budget. And on the spreadsheet, of course, are the team's salaries. I'm a curious normal human being — nobody told me not to look. So I looked. And I was surprised to see one of the male associates, TWO levels below me, was making quite a bit more money than I was.
I looked at all the women's salaries on the team. It appeared all of the women made quite a bit less than the men on the team.
This was one of the first times I had direct exposure to the gender pay gap — probably the most obvious form of gender discrimination in the business world. Literally being paid less for the same or, in this case, HIGHER-level work. 84 cents on the dollar for white women — and that's the best rate. Women of color have it much worse.
But wait, there's more. Gender discrimination pervades many other elements of the business world. The United Nations recently found 9 out of 10 people worldwide still hold fundamental biases against women. 90% of humans. In the workplace, this shows up as:
- 40% of women have experienced direct gender-based discrimination at work
- Women are automatically judged as less competent and held to higher standards. In a recent tech-world survey, 94% of people said women are held to higher standards than men for the same work
- Women are more likely to have their work questioned or have someone else take credit for their ideas. I remember interviewing Cat Perez, co-founder of FAMM, about a previous role where the male CEO automatically doubted any work turned in by a woman and had men on the team validate it. Meanwhile, any work submitted by men — including male interns — was automatically accepted. Of course they knew what they were doing. They were a man.
- Women aren't considered leadership material. Globally, about 40% of people feel men make better leaders based on gender identity alone. Female candidates for leadership roles are consistently judged as having less leadership potential than men, making them 14% less likely to be promoted
- The "think leader, think male" phenomenon — if you ask people to think of a leader or manager, more than 70% will automatically picture a man, most often a white man
- Women are twice as likely to be mistaken for someone more junior. I still remember, multiple years ago, going to a business conference with the chairman of the parent company that I sold my first company to. I was the CEO of a wholly owned subsidiary. He was chairman of the board. And with "CEO" ON MY NAME TAG, more than a dozen times, men asked me while I was standing next to the chairman if I was his assistant
- Women are judged more harshly. More than 75% of high-performing women receive negative feedback from their superiors — compared to just 2% of high-performing men
Women in the workplace are essentially considered incompetent until proven overly capable. We have to prove ourselves constantly. And even when we do, our work is ignored. Our ideas are dismissed. You're sitting at a table of men — no one is making eye contact with you, no one is asking your opinion. The subtle microaggressions never stop. And discrimination, if you'll remember from episode one, is a key factor that leads to mental health disorders.
Meghan French Dunbar (~19:00): Barrier 2: Expected gender roles + double standards.
When we sold my first company, Conscious Company Media, we sold to a larger company in New York. As a young woman founder, I was proud of what I'd built — and I also still had this idea that some other leader, some real business person, would come in and quickly identify tons of revenue opportunities. I still didn't think of myself as a real business person yet. And I really wanted to impress the highly experienced former finance people at the parent company.
The parent company owned four organizations total, us being one of them. We did our first summit with the CEOs of all four subsidiary brands — all of us happened to be women. We got into a workshop, going through how we could build revenue lines together, support each other's events, aligning our two-year plans. Basic strategic business conversations. And I'm a total business nerd — I love this stuff, so I'm engaged, animated, using my hands.
One of the men from the parent company stops us mid-conversation and says: "I just feel like you're all being so emotional. You're all just getting so emotional that we can't think about this rationally."
I'm looking around like — this isn't even emotion. This is me just having a basic conversation about business.
When he dropped the word emotional, my stomach sank out of my butt. I was so embarrassed. I'd really wanted to impress these people, and to be labeled on the first day as being emotional — I went home and couldn't stop thinking about it. What did I say? Was there something specific I did?
So the next day I showed up with my stoic mask on. Not going to show any emotion. Just going to be robotic. Not even going to smile.
Later that day, of course, the same leader comes and asks me: "What's wrong? Are you upset?"
This is the lose-lose that many women navigate in the workplace. The patriarchal belief system societally conditions women from a young age to be quiet, agreeable, smile, be kind, meek, docile, nurturing, compassionate — the delightful mother, the pretty wife. Then we get into the workplace, which has been led by men who've been conditioned to display "masculine" traits: tough, competitive, aggressive, dominant, strong. Boys don't cry. Feminine traits are made fun of.
These same men are now in positions of power deciding how we do business. So "think leader, think male" = "think leader, think masculine." And when women are told to assimilate — wear the power suit, hang with the boys, don't show emotion — and we do it, then what happens?
"What's wrong? You're too loud. You're too emotional. You're too bitchy. You're too bossy. You're too angry. You're too much."
We don't like that version of you. The masculine version. Could you go back to being the meek, subservient woman? Even though you can't succeed either way?
These are the double standards.
Roughly 90% of high-performing women receive feedback about their personalities — compared to just 12% of high-performing men. Women are twice as likely to have someone comment on their emotional state, and two-and-a-half times more likely to have someone comment on their appearance.
Social psychologist Dr. Sydney Hurston-Dupree's research found: when women use language that's powerful and dominant, others view them as cold and less likable. The findings applied to all women — but unsurprisingly, the effects were strongest for Black and Latina women.
Seeing a woman in a position of power makes many people uncomfortable. Because — patriarchy. We're conditioned to it.
There's also the expected gender roles OUTSIDE of work. Every single email with a birthday invitation from one of my children's friends or classmates gets sent to me, the mother. Women are the social chairs of the house — expected to do the emotional labor, the domestic work, the PTA, the friend logistics. Eve Rodsky's book Fair Play found that even in the most equitable heterosexual households, women still take on a disproportionate share of household work and emotional labor.
So we have to do more inside AND outside of work. We have to prove ourselves constantly. Never enough. Constantly judged.
There's also the barriers-for-working-parents piece: work hours that don't align with school hours, inflexible policies, limited sick leave — built from the expectation that a woman is at home taking care of everything else so the man can focus on work.
Our former nanny was called into her boss's office once, in between reviews, and told: "You are exceeding all our expectations. But I have some feedback that I don't think can wait for your performance review. I think you need to smile more. People say they feel intimidated because you don't smile all the time."
I'm sure he was telling the male colleagues to smile more too. Right? Of course not.
Meghan French Dunbar (~26:00): Barrier 3: Male-centered workplaces.
A beloved friend of mine works for a construction company. They have job sites all over a remote area. When she's on her period, and she's at a site where the only bathroom is one porta-potty shared with all her male colleagues, she has to drive 25 MINUTES to a gas station just to change a tampon — because she doesn't want the evidence sitting in a porta-potty her male colleagues will use.
That's what this is. Her body's needs are not taken into account. The workplace was built for men.
Hearing her story reminded me of pumping breast milk next to a public toilet at a company in New York that didn't have space for me to pump — four months postpartum, casually pumping breast milk next to a disgusting public toilet.
Some of these workplaces are what I call male-centered workplaces — professional environments that don't take women's bodily needs into account and were built for men.
Another obvious one: in the middle of summer, you walk into an office and every woman is wearing a shawl or a coat or wrapped in a blanket because the air conditioning is set to 58 degrees.
Research shows most women are comfortable 5-10 degrees higher than most men. But the standard office temperature formula is based on the metabolic rate of a 40-year-old man's body.
Even when the recommended OSHA temp is 75. And when I was writing this off as "annoying but not a big deal," I found a study that showed reducing the temperature from 77 to 72 degrees in a room of women cut their productivity in half and doubled their mistakes.
It's not "kind of annoying." It's a productivity crisis quietly baked into HVAC settings.
Beyond that: the subtle message that keeps landing is — you don't belong here. You're the exception. This space was built for men. Please don't complain or ask for special treatment because you're lucky we let you in.
Belonging is a key human need. Constant subtle exclusion drives depression and anxiety. It doesn't feel good to be reminded, over and over, that you are the outsider.
Meghan French Dunbar (~31:00): Barrier 4: Objectification + sexual harassment.
I was invited as a female founder to a pitch event that was supporting women. We did a dinner, then some of the companies were supposed to stand up and pitch. Meet-and-greet with potential investors. I'm seated next to a man I'd met once, in passing. He asks me what I like to do. I go through the typical things: snowboarding, hiking. I ask what he likes to do.
He looks me straight in the eyes and says: "I like to fuck you."
I don't even know what to say to that.
I know this man is best friends with one of the investors I've been trying to get to invest in my company. Suddenly there's power in the room. I don't want to say anything. I don't want to make it uncomfortable. I don't want to call him out mid-dinner and become the emotional woman overreacting to a joke.
So I just look at him and go: "What are you going to have for dinner?"
Five minutes later I stand up to do my pitch. I'm absolutely rattled. I'm looking around the room at the other investors thinking — are they all like this? Are they all here to prey on the female founders? I completely bungle the pitch. Zero investors express interest, because I've just word-vomited a pitch to a room full of people I no longer trust.
Sexual harassment doesn't just make women feel awful. It demonstrably hurts their careers.
Current statistics say 54-81% of women have experienced sexual harassment at work. Unfortunately, more than half aren't reporting — worried about job loss, being labeled a troublemaker, or not being taken seriously. Roughly 50% of women report that sexual harassment has hurt their career: causing them to quit a job, lower rates of job satisfaction and engagement, or increased financial stress.
I can point to that exact pitch event as a moment sexual harassment hurt my career.
There's also the constant low-level anxiety and fear women carry — stepping into an elevator with a strange man, noticing a man following you down a dark street, being alone in a room with someone you don't know. Dr. Valerie Rein calls this collective trauma — the shared understanding of what it's like to be constantly concerned about safety and bodily autonomy.
Meghan French Dunbar (~37:00): Barrier 5: Toxic masculinity as the operating system of business.
I grew up idolizing my older brother. Four years older, my only sibling. I wanted to prove I was cool enough to hang with him and his friends. So I was tough. Competed in everything. Played basketball and soccer. My brother and I physically fought, and I loved showing what a good fighter I was. Total tomboy. Don't cry. Don't ask for help. Never show weakness. I would make fun of girly girls or anything feminine.
For some reason I really wanted to be a stockbroker. I didn't even know what they did. I just knew they had money and power, and people liked them because they were masculine, and I wanted that.
What I didn't realize at the time was that many of the behaviors I was performing weren't just "manly" — they were toxic masculine behaviors. And I later carried them into leadership. Don't show emotion. Don't ask for help. Be infallible. Game face on. Competitive.
I brought these into the workplace because these traits are widely accepted — even ENCOURAGED — in modern business.
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America defines the three tenets of toxic masculinity as:
When I dug into this and thought about the business world — I went, wait. Let me connect the dots.
Look at the side-by-side.
- Your worth = power + money. → How are businesses judged? Profit. The largest companies are the most profitable. Individual success = title + salary + power + influence.
- Strength = aggression + domination. → Leaders think effective management means being aggressive and dominant. Fear-based tactics. Internal competition. External competition — you're supposed to CRUSH industry rivals.
- Dominant leader has all the power. → Command-and-control hierarchy. One leader at the top makes decisions for everyone. Leaders feel they must have all the answers. Never ask for help. Never admit wrong. Proud peacock.
- Anti-femininity. → Emotions not welcome. Keep your personal life at home. Compassion, empathy, and nurturing get labeled "soft skills" and treated as inferior.
- You must win at all costs. Winner takes all. → Shareholder supremacy. All the spoils go to the top.
Every core tenet of toxic masculinity has been baked into how we currently do business.
I ran this side-by-side at a hedge fund's women's executive forum a few years ago. Women lined up after to tell me how uncomfortable it had made them — how they'd never realized just how toxically masculine their workplaces were. Once you see it, you see it everywhere.
Meghan French Dunbar (~48:00): So — pulling it all together. Women in the workplace are constantly having to prove themselves. Being judged more critically. Going above and beyond. Having to be perfect and infallible. Doing this while taking on extra work outside of work — and still being judged there too. Not being able to ask for help without being called weak. Never truly belonging. Discriminated against. Harassed. Objectified. Forced into positions where they compromise values. Constantly worried about judgment and social acceptability.
And if you complain about any of it? You'll be gaslit, told you're overreacting, told this isn't really an issue, told you're asking for special treatment. Or people simply won't believe you. You'll be shamed and ignored. And no one will do anything about it.
This is much of the foundation of what I call the old playbook.
Better ways exist. Many business leaders around the world have figured out how to build organizations that don't have all of these issues inherent within them. We'll dive into those practices in future episodes — because today I've already talked for so long.
For now, three key insights to take away:
Insight 1: Just because it's the norm doesn't mean it's right. Toxically masculine beliefs are, in fact, toxic. Patriarchal beliefs in the workplace are harmful. When you have the opportunity — you have micro-agency. Especially if you're a team lead or in a decision-making role. Lean into asking for help. Lean into your "more feminine" traits. Stop calling them "soft skills." Share your success with others. Focus on rising tides.
Insight 2: Notice if you're holding women to different standards. Notice if a young woman walks in and you automatically assume she's junior. This is not something to be ashamed about. It IS something to begin noticing, labeling, and changing.
Insight 3 (my favorite): If you're a woman listening to this — I hope you feel damn powerful after all of this. This felt so validating to me. I felt like I had been swimming this entire time, competing, doing my best, barely keeping my head above water. And I looked back and realized someone had tied a damn weight to my ankle that I didn't even know was there.
The fact that I've been swimming, keeping myself afloat, doing pretty well, successful in the business world, running my own company — the fact that I've been able to succeed with a weight tied on my damn ankle is incredible.
We are all existing in a system that is harming every single person in it, regardless of gender identity. And if you're a woman, you're doing it with these additional barriers on top. If you're a woman with an additional marginalized identity, you have even MORE barriers.
When I talk to women succeeding in the workplace, I'm just like — do you even understand what a miracle you are? It is against all odds. The fact that we are doing this and we are crushing it — you are an absolute badass if you are even waking up and consciously going into the business world at this point.
Whew. Just going to end there.
It's a soapbox on top of a soapbox with a little pep talk on top. And I'm not going to apologize for it.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. Hopefully these insights are helpful. We're going to get into the solutions in future episodes. It is NOT all gloom and doom. There's tons of hope on the horizon. There are many ways to make work better so we don't have to struggle like this into the foreseeable future.
Until next time. Thank you.
Meghan French Dunbar (53:35): Thanks again for listening to Better Than This. As a reminder, you can always find show notes and any corresponding resources for the show on the show's website at meghanfrenchdunbar.com/betterthanthis. If today's episode resonated with you, I would be very grateful if you could leave a review or a rating on whichever podcast platform you're listening on — or share the episode with a friend who you think would appreciate it.
You can also subscribe to my Substack for weekly insights and tools to support your growth along the way.
Until next time: keep challenging the status quo so we can — wait for it — build something better than this.
