Almost 4 hours of December rain on the roof... ambience. It's a soggy day in the Mid-Atlantic... A perfect distillation for our household post-Christmas (the kids' favorite holiday). There is Lego carnage and strewn Care Bears across the living room floor. A gold ribbon accidentally clings to the cat.

The encouragement is gone for snatching peppermint from the branches of our fake tree. The nut bowls are almost exclusively Brazil nuts now. And we have way too much cheese.

Also, the grocery store is no longer stocking egg nog. "Stopped receiving shipments of that last week," said the person in the dairy section. The clerk noticed I had cleaned out the last few cartons.

I really like egg nog. And I'm not too fond of waiting another year to see it again in the dairy section.

Is it possible to freeze egg nog? My wife won't mind ceding a quarter of the freezer. I can cheers the fresh nightmares 2024 brings with some ****** eggnog.

So the rain is welcome — also, the transition into the expanse of debt and January isn't without perks; Christmas Crunch will be 50% off at Harris Teeter.

Hotel room fan — Anyone else not looking forward to sleeping in their old bedrooms this holiday season? Just down the hall from our aging parents who sneak up on us late, like ****** ninjas in nightgowns, "You sure you're not cold, sweetie?"

"No, ma."

And you ask yourself, "Why didn't I just get a room at the Crowne Plaza Albany? They wouldn't encourage me to eat unrecognizable leftovers from the fridge when I'm hungry."

"Three years expired horseradish sauce can't be safe."

It's too late to stay at a hotel... but you can pretend you did in this week's episode. Happy holidays!

After-hour Vineyard Haven Harbor Waves — This episode includes after-hour waves lapping the harbor beach — the rattle of far-off machinery and the occasional car navigating nearby Beach Road. And I was wandering up the street to Cumberland Farms to buy some late night powdered donuts.

(Dual Shower Nozzle Ambience) I always dreamed of fancy bathrooms. Bathrooms where I could press digital buttons controlling a host of nozzles pelting me with technology-controlled water (like the **** in the movies). When the opportunity came to remodel our shower, I leaped at the remodeling designer with these ideas. It was too expensive, so I compromised. I had the designer pencil in a dual head at chest height that turned on with a tiny handle (also expensive). It is great for washing out my underarms.

Endless* Martha's Vineyard Ferry Ambience — this will be a cacophony of awesome machine noise from the carport of a MVY Steamship. So ride the ambience into a deep sleep or better grades.

And obviously there is an end for this podcast. Just as there is an end to the endless breadsticks at the Olive Garden. Or at least I assume the Olive Gardeners will bounce you eventually. I haven't ever seen a dude or lady that looked like Rip Van Winkle with a stack of decomposing breadstick trays.