Uncommon: The DadWork Podcast

Frank had the balls to ask the question most men are too afraid to voice.

Am I present enough? Am I focusing on the right things? Am I building a career at the expense of the years I'll never get back?

This episode is for Frank. And it's for you. Because if you're asking the question — you already know something's off.

The world is built to distract you. To show you everyone's highlight reel. To keep you in performance mode — chasing the title, the house, the car — while the years with your kids accelerate and you wonder where the time went.

My son is five. I blinked. There are three of them now.

You can't put life back in the box.

So we get into it. The performance trap. The provider paradox. The 2026 version of the absent dad — physically there, nowhere near present. What your kids actually need from you. And the one practice that makes all of it possible.

You don't have to choose between being successful at work OR being the father your kids need. You can have both.

But you do have to put in the work.

This one's worth your time.

Brennan Schlagbaum paid off $76,000 of non-mortgage debt in one year on a combined $92K income. Built financial freedom. Got his wife home. Moved across the country for his daughter's healthcare. And turned a spreadsheet into a national bestselling book.

But this episode isn't really about money.

It's about the emotional weight of providing. The story you inherited that money is scarce and hard and something to be afraid of. And the system that actually works when willpower runs out.

Most families have $2,000 sitting in their budget they don't know about. Not because they're irresponsible — because nobody ever showed them how to look. 88% of your financial decisions are running on autopilot right now. And 78% of men are living paycheck to paycheck not because they don't make enough — but because they never built a system.

Brennan built one. For his family first. Then for 3,000 others.

The three month look back. The 30 minute money date that actually brings you and your wife closer. The cashflow goal worksheet that turns vague dreams into hard dates and real numbers.

Your wife staying home doesn't have to be a fantasy. Financial freedom isn't reserved for people who make more than you.

It starts with a system. And it starts here.

Find Brennan: Instagram — @budgetdog

Email — [email protected]

Book — The Roadmap to Financial Freedom

Love Languages aren’t fixing your marriage.

They might be the reason it feels off.

Not because they’re wrong…
—but because they turn love into a checklist.

Acts of service. Words of affirmation. Physical touch.

Cool.

But if you’re just “doing the reps” without presence, without intention…

she feels it.

And that’s where most men get stuck.

You’re showing up.
You’re doing what you think you’re supposed to do.

But it still feels like roommates.

In this episode, I break down:

• Why Love Languages fall short
• How they quietly turn your relationship into a transaction
• The real question your wife is asking (it’s not about her “language”)
• Why stress kills connection faster than anything
• And what actually brings your marriage back to life

Because at the core of it—

Every Love Language is trying to say one thing:

“I choose you.”

And if she doesn’t feel that…

nothing else lands.

If you’re tired of the distance…
If you want the edge, the connection, the polarity back…

This is where it starts.

📩 DM me “READY” or hit the link to apply.

No more drifting.

You’re working. Providing. Showing up.

Trying to be a good husband. A good dad.

And still…

It feels like it’s not enough.

So you do what most men do.

You push harder.
Work more.
Try to fix it.

And somehow that just creates more distance.

Because underneath all of it is this belief:

👉 “I’m only worth what I can contribute.”

And when that’s running the show…

Everything gets twisted.

• Your wife’s emotions feel like pressure instead of connection
• Conflict turns into defense instead of understanding
• You start tying your identity to work… or her approval
• When she’s off, you’re off
• You try to fix the marriage without becoming a different man

You’re not broken.

But you might be building your life on something that will never hold.

There’s another way to live this.

But it starts with getting honest about where your worth actually comes from.

You think you’re just a tired dad.

Long day. Work. Kids. Life.

So you sit down for a minute… grab your phone… scroll…

…and somehow you feel worse.

More tired.
More irritated.
More disconnected from your wife and your kids.

Here’s the truth:

You’re not tired.

You’re addicted.

In this episode, I break down what’s actually happening in your brain—and why so many dads feel drained, distracted, and checked out even when they’re doing “everything right.”

We talk about:

• The dopamine loop that’s keeping you stuck
• Why cheap hits (scrolling, porn, junk food, caffeine) are killing your energy
• How overstimulation makes real life feel dull
• Why you feel exhausted… but still can’t put your phone down
• The exact steps to break the cycle and get your edge back

This isn’t about discipline.

It’s about awareness—and taking control.

Because this doesn’t just cost you energy.

It costs you your presence.
Your marriage.
Your kids.

____________

You’re Not Tired — You’re Addicted to Dopamine

You think you’re tired.

But you’re not.

You can still scroll.
Still drink another coffee.
Still stay up later than you should.

So what is it?

You’ve trained your brain to chase dopamine.

Quick hits. Easy wins. Constant stimulation.

And now real life doesn’t hit the same.

Playing with your kids feels like effort.
Connecting with your wife feels like effort.
Even getting started feels heavy.

That’s not low energy.

That’s addiction.

Here’s what’s actually happening:

• You’re stuck in a cycle of dopamine spikes and crashes
• Your brain is lowering sensitivity just to keep up
• Real life starts to feel dull and gray
• You need more stimulation just to feel normal
• What feels like “tired” is actually low drive

You’re not exhausted.

You’re overstimulated — and it’s costing you your presence.

Get the full mini-training here.

Most parents think they’re doing the right thing.

Good school. Good grades. Follow the path.

But step back and look at it honestly…

Are you raising a child?

Or feeding a system?

In this conversation with Matt Boudreaux, we break down what’s actually happening inside modern education—and why more families are walking away from it.

We talk about:

• Why the system rewards compliance, not thinking
• What “socialization” actually does to kids
• Why most kids lose curiosity, confidence, and drive
• The real role of parents in raising capable humans
• How homeschooling, community, and environment change everything
• The truth about phones, tech, and AI in your child’s development

This isn’t about public vs homeschool.

It’s about whether your kid becomes:
👉 independent
👉 capable
👉 grounded

Or just another product of the system.

If you’ve ever felt like something was off…

This will put words to it.

Most couples don’t fall apart because they don’t love each other. They fall apart because they’re overwhelmed.

Stress hijacks your nervous system.
You stop thinking clearly.
You stop connecting.
And without realizing it—you turn on each other.

This isn’t a communication problem.
It’s not love languages.
It’s not compatibility.

It’s regulation.

In this episode, I break down:

• Why stress turns you reactive and disconnected
• Why so many couples drift into the “roommate phase” after kids
• What the couples who stay deeply connected do differently
• How to regulate yourself so you stop snapping, shutting down, or withdrawing
• Simple ways to rebuild connection starting tonight

If your marriage feels distant, tense, or off…

This will show you what’s actually going wrong—and how to fix it.

The full mini-training

Most men are overstimulated, reactive, and distracted.

Not because they do not care.

Because they have built a life where they never actually slow down enough to be present.

In this conversation with Pat Barber of The Fathers Guild, we get into what it means to reclaim your time, your attention, and your nervous system as a father.

We talk about:

• why journaling matters and why writing is different than just thinking
• how Pat went from lifelong night owl to owning his mornings
• the power of a digital sunset
• why men need challenge, structure, and accountability
• Pat’s Hero’s Journey framework
• how simple practices like hugging your wife and kids for 10 seconds can radically change the energy in your home
• why presence, not productivity, is what your family is actually starving for

This is a conversation about becoming less reactive, less distracted, and more intentional.

Not through hype.

Not through biohacks.

Through ritual, structure, and the work

to show up the way you've intended to.

It's more than willpower alone.

Most men don’t fail at fatherhood because they lack discipline.

They fail because they’re carrying too much pressure with no real way to process it.

So they do what men have always done:
they suck it up,
push through,
bury it,
and keep moving.

But that pressure doesn’t disappear.

It leaks.

Into your marriage.
Into your kids.
Into your home.
Into your body.

In this episode, I break down why modern fathers are physically, mentally, and emotionally overloaded… why the old model of “just grind harder” is failing men… and what it actually means to become the safe harbor your family needs.

We talk about:

• the Provider Paradox
• why your nervous system sets the emotional tone of the home
• how stress gets “on” your wife and kids even when you say nothing
• why self-regulation comes before communication
• the science of coherence, resonance, and co-regulation
• and a simple daily practice to help you become hard to kill and easy to love

This is not about becoming softer.

It’s about becoming stronger in the way your wife, your kids, and your mission actually need.

You don’t raise kids with advice. You raise them with inputs.

Will Whitman (founder of Homegrown Lifting, husband, father of three) breaks down what it actually takes to be a present provider when the business never stops: hard stops, delegation, trust, and the rituals that let you walk through the door without bringing work home on your nervous system.

We talk about:

• The “3:30 rule” and why it matters more than motivation
• How to leave work at work (shower, change clothes, shut down the phone)
• Why your kids and wife can feel your stress the second you walk in
• Roughhousing, play, and how dads build boundaries and empathy in kids
• Building a home gym that saves time, money, and excuses—so your kids grow up thinking movement is normal

I'll let you know right off the bat that we had a tech-problem on this episode. Will disappears near the end, but I salvaged everything I could.

If you’re a father trying to win at work without losing your family, this one’s for you.