Under the Hood

When a relationship is struggling, the real question might be less "How do we fix this?" and more "What's the best next step?" 

Inspired by an essay from a writer who felt couples therapy prolonged a failing marriage instead of helping her see it was over, Dr. Rebecca and Dr. Alex take a hard look at the expectations around relationship counseling. Is “success” defined by staying together or by reaching clarity…even if that clarity leads to parting ways?

Whether you're navigating a crossroads in your own relationship or supporting someone else through theirs, this nuanced and compassionate conversation will help you approach either reconciliation or separation with greater care, honesty, and respect.

What you'll learn: 

• What Dr. Rebecca always asks a couple before therapy even begins.
• Why some couples therapists avoid bringing up divorce directly, even when it's clearly on a client's mind.
• How many people end up communicating better during their divorce than they ever did as a married couple.

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "Is our relationship even worth saving?”
• "We've stopped fighting. Is that a good sign or a bad one?" 
• "It feels like my therapist and partner are ganging up on me.”
• "If we do end up splitting up, how do we not ruin our kids in the process?"

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
 Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
 Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
 Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

YouTube: @underthehooddocs 

You cough and your belly button doesn't go back in after it pops out. Or you’re lifting heavy at the gym and suddenly feel a weird bulge in your groin. Both can be signs of a hernia, when fat or part of an organ pushes through a weak spot or opening in the muscles or connective tissue of the abdominal wall (it may look or feel like a soft lump under the skin). When a hernia needs repair, surgery is the only way to fix the opening itself (some small hernias that don’t cause symptoms may just be carefully monitored instead). However, pelvic floor PT can still play an important role in preparing for surgery and supporting recovery afterward.

In this listener-requested episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado and sex & relationship therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy discuss how pelvic floor physical therapy fits into hernia care - from retraining how your diaphragm and core work together to addressing toilet straining and improving breathing mechanics. As Dr. Alex points out, nobody gets knee surgery and skips PT afterward - a hernia repair deserves the same care and follow-through.

What you’ll learn:

• Why hernias aren't just a “weightlifter problem”
• The difference between an ordinary postpartum “outie” belly button and a possible umbilical hernia
• The connection between hernias, prolapse, constipation, and bloating
• How hernias affect two opposite ends of the movement spectrum: “Grippers" and "Deconditioned"

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "My hernia pain comes and goes. Does that mean it's not a big deal, or should I still see someone about it?”
• "I've had chronic constipation for years. Could that be connected to this weird bulge I'm noticing?"
• "I've heard the term 'strangulated hernia. ' What does that mean? How do I know if I have one?”

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

YouTube: @underthehooddocs 

Content note: this episode includes brief references to sexual assault.

"Arousal non-concordance" is the nerdy, clinical term for when your physical arousal signs (like blood flow, lubrication, or erections) don't line up with what you're actually desiring. In real life, that can look like feeling super turned on mentally while your body shows zero physical signs of it...OR your body reacting physically to something you have absolutely no interest in.

This mismatch is fairly common and affects people of all ages and gender expressions, but that doesn’t make it any less confusing or distressing for those going through it

In this episode, sex & relationship therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado explain why this physical-mental disconnect pops up during key life transitions in particular; that it’s not a reflection of true attraction to your partner; and how to stay deeply connected even when your physical hardware isn't cooperating like you had hoped.

What You'll Learn:

• Lube begets lube: How using a high-quality lubricant (like Slippery Stuff or Uberlube) can break the anxiety-pain cycle.
• Navigating trauma and bodily responses: How the body can respond with signs of arousal during a non-consensual encounter, which may leave SA survivors feeling ashamed and embarrassed.
• Healthier communication: The key difference between checking in using a "yes, no, maybe" approach versus anxious second-guessing.
• Pre-planning for non-concordance: How agreeing on a game plan before intimacy lowers anxiety and takes the pressure off both partners.
• Redefining intimacy: The power of expanding what "counts" as intimacy way beyond just penetration.

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "I usually have no problem getting turned on - why is this happening to me now?"
• "Does this mean I'm just not attracted to my partner anymore?"
• "How do I bring this up to my partner without it turning into a whole ordeal?”
• “Why did I still get hard, even though I said no? Does that mean some part of me wanted it?”

Helpful Resources:

• Under the Hood Episode 27: Let’s Talk About…*Talking* About Sex
• Under the Hood Episode 9: Vaginismus: What It Is and Why “Just Relax” Doesn’t Work
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
• Let’s Talk About Sex (After Baby) mini e-course by Dr. Alex and Dr. Julianna
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• RAINN (National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673), or online chat at rainn.org — the largest anti-sexual-violence org in the US, free and confidential, 24/7

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

YouTube: @underthehooddocs

You snapped at your kid, felt bad, and then “apologized” with, “I’m sorry, but you should have listened the first time.” Or your partner says, “I’m sorry you feel that way” mid-argument, and it makes things even worse….

In this episode, couples & sex therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alexandra DiGrado talk through why so many apologies miss the mark and what genuine repair looks like in parenting, partnerships, and everyday life. Dr. Rebecca also shares the story of a public blowup with a school crossing guard that still makes her cringe and what she did afterward to make it right.

Not all apologies are created equal. Tune in to learn the difference between a "sorry" that just clears your own conscience (...we’re all guilty of it) and one that actually protects your relationships for the long term.

You’ll learn:

• Why  a “but…” totally cancels out your apology
• Why over-apologizing (especially as women) can make your words lose their meaning
• Why a “forced march” doesn’t teach kids empathy (and what does)
• How shame just keeps you stuck instead of helping you repair
• Why modeling repair, not perfection, is what actually shows your kids how to handle their own conflicts
• Why feeling guilty about losing your cool doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It means you care enough to try better

Tune in if:

• Your partner says, 'I'm sorry you feel that way' mid-argument, and you want to hit the ceiling
• You lost your temper recently and aren't sure whether to move on or address it
• You’re stuck between “I shouldn’t have yelled” and “but that behavior wasn’t okay either” when it comes to your kids 
• You didn’t grow up with parents who apologized, and you're trying to figure out how to do it differently

Helpful resources:

• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy — including more real-life rupture & repair stories
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com

Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy

Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com

Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt

Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs

Website: underthehoodpod.com

YouTube: @underthehooddocs

Just hearing the word "prolapse" is enough to make many people panic because it sounds like their organs are going to just fall out. Thankfully, that's not what's actually happening.

In this episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado and couples & sex therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy discuss what pelvic organ prolapse is and isn't; the different types, stages, and treatment options for prolapse; and what it all means for your sex life.

Whether you're newly postpartum, noticed something concerning in the shower, or were recently diagnosed with prolapse with zero explanation, this conversation will give you honest answers and practical strategies so you can keep living the vibrant, active life you deserve.

What you'll learn:

• The 3D "suspension system" holding all your pelvic organs in place (you definitely didn't get this information in health class).
• Why prolapse affects athletes, people who've never been pregnant, and postpartum parents alike.
• Non-surgical treatment options like compression wear and pessaries (including the type that looks like fuzzy car dice).
• Realistic surgery success rates—and why surgery isn't always the first step.

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "Something feels like it's bulging or heavy down there—is that normal?"
• "I felt okay after having my baby, so why did this come out of nowhere weeks later?"
• "Is dealing with a rectocele as messy as it sounds?"
• "I don't want surgery. Are there other options?"
• "Will sex make things worse? Will my partner notice?"

Helpful resources:

Some links below are affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you if you choose to purchase. We only recommend products we love and use ourselves.

• Boston Pelvic PT offers pessary fittings. Book a 15-minute connection call to learn more: https://bostonpelvicpt.com
• If you're not in the Boston area, you can find a pelvic floor PT near you: https://pelvicrehab.com or https://pelvicglobal.com
• Femmeze Device for Rectocele & Constipation Relief: https://femmeze.com
• Revive Bladder Support Pessary for Women: https://www.revivebladder.com
• SRC Restore Support Leggings – Uterine Prolapse & Continence Treatment: https://srchealth.com
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683738551?

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: https://rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: https://substack.com/@parentsinlove 

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: https://bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: https://bostonpelvicpt.myflodesk.com/underthehood 

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: https://instagram.com/underthehooddocs
Website: https://underthehoodpod.com
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@UndertheHoodDocs

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If you live with IBS, you already know it's not "just" a stomach issue. It's the mental math of always knowing where the bathroom is, the trips you don't book, and the memories you miss out on.

In this episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado and relationship/sex therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy sit down with Megan Mountcastle, a licensed social worker who specializes in the gut-brain connection, to talk about how IBS touches so many parts of everyday life, and what you can control.

Megan walks us through the "brain gut loop," explains why anxiety can act like a "cult leader," and why the goal of treatment isn't perfect symptom control. This is a conversation about learning to live a full life again, even when your gut doesn't always cooperate.

What you’ll learn:

• How to acknowledge a symptom without letting it take over (also see Episode 22: “It’s Not Just a Bad Period” — A PT’s Personal Endometriosis Journey (with special guest Dr. Alyssa Demeule)
• Why people go so long without a formal diagnosis
• The surprising link between childhood trauma and gut issues later in life
• How a simple device helped a patient feel confident enough to travel the world again

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "I canceled the trip because I just couldn't risk it."
• "I've researched everything and know my triggers, so why can't I get this under control?"
• “Am I the only one dealing with this?”
• “How do I get my life back and do all the things I want to do?”

Helpful resources:

• Megan Mountcastle, LCSW — individual therapy (licensed in MA and CT), the Calm Gut, Calm Mind program, webinars, and provider consultation. Email [email protected] with questions or to schedule a free consultation call.
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Humans are wired to make meaning out of what happens to us, so when something feels bad, we go looking for a reason (in an effort to avoid it next time). In relationships, that search often turns into blame…which devolves into criticism instead of the actual result we're hoping for.

In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy (relationship & sex therapist) and Dr. Alex DiGrado (pelvic floor physical therapist) explain why blame and anger are usually secondary emotions covering something else underneath, and how naming that feeling gets you closer to real accountability and change than pointing fingers ever will.

Dr. Rebecca also shares how this all shows up with her own kids, plus a personal update on 40 days of yoga nidra that's changed how she handles the heated moments.

What you'll learn:

• Humans being “meaning makers” is a survival instinct that sometimes goes awry.
• The difference between truly taking responsibility…and just taking the blame to keep the peace.
• Vulnerability will always get you further than blame.
• Kids learn to stop blaming each other by watching us take accountability

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "Why do I get so defensive the second something comes up? Am I just being too sensitive?”
• "My kid blames everyone else for their behavior. Is that normal?"
• "Why is it so hard to talk about how I feel instead of what they did wrong?" 

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy 
• Learn more about Ali Schmidt's yoga nidra practice; check her out on Insight Timer; and listen to our UTH podcast episode with Ali here! 

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

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If you enjoyed this episode, please follow Under the Hood, share with a friend, and leave a quick rating. It takes 30 seconds, but it is the best way to help our show grow and reach more people. Thank you for listening!

Many people think hemorrhoids are just a fiber and Preparation H problem, but there's a lot more going on. Dr. Alex DiGrado (pelvic floor physical therapist) and Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy (sex and relationship therapist) talk through the different causes, from chronic stress and jaw tension to how you're sitting and pushing on the toilet. Alex explains why your hemorrhoids keep coming back, and how you can fix the underlying mechanics instead of just managing the symptoms. If you've felt too embarrassed to bring this up with your doctor, and you're stuck in a cycle of Metamucil and creams that never really work, this one's for you.

What you'll learn:

• The proper way to push during a bowel movement (most people are doing it backwards)
• How chronic stress and jaw tension can lead to hemorrhoids
• What your stool consistency can tell you about your pelvic floor mechanics

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• “Do hemorrhoids go away on their own?”
• “Can I treat hemorrhoids at home?”
• “How do I know if I have hemorrhoids or something else?”
• "Is surgery my only option?” 

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Desert Harvest Relievium (check out our podcast interview with Desert Harvest CEO Heather Florio here) 
• Anything Butt: 100% natural butt balm with CBD - helps with chafing, itching, dryness, rash, hemorrhoids, and more. Use code WELCOME15 for 15% on next order. 
• Squatty Potty 
• Bristol stool chart 

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

You know that feeling when something is so good - your career, your relationship, a perfect spring afternoon - that almost immediately your brain starts bracing for when it ends?? In this episode, sex & relationship therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado explore this concept (coined by research professor and author Brené Brown) and unpack why so many of us reflexively push away joy, connection, and positive emotion, often without even realizing it. You'll learn how staying with joy can lead to deeper connection, greater ease, and a life that feels fuller instead of scarier.

What you'll learn:

• Why rehearsing grief doesn't make loss easier, and what one patient's early pregnancy experience reveals about embracing joy instead of preparing for heartbreak
• How the vulnerability flinch plays out in couples and what it costs the relationship
• The difference between oversharing and true vulnerability
• How to distinguish healthy self-protection (like curating your media intake) from emotional disconnection

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "I literally cannot just enjoy something good without immediately thinking about how it's going to fall apart."
• “I've been hurt before and I'm not sure I can let my guard down again.”
• "I love my kids so much it scares me sometimes."

Helpful resources:

• The Power of Vulnerability - TED Talk by Brene Brown
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

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Dr. Rebecca had two nine-pound babies 18 months apart, and was told by a pelvic floor PT a few years back that her diastasis recti was pretty much just going to be that way. Dr. Alex respectfully disagrees (yes, even though the “babies” are now 10 and 11).

In this episode, Dr. Alex and Dr. Rebecca dig into what diastasis recti is (and isn’t), why so much of the advice floating around online makes people afraid to move altogether, and what pelvic floor PT can do for the symptoms you've been managing on your own since your last kid was born…even if that was many years ago.

If you feel your core doesn't work or look the way it used to, or worry you missed the window to do anything about it, this one's for you.

What you'll learn:

• The link between diastasis recti, posture, and lower back pain (Dr. Rebecca originally came to PT for the latter)
• The size of your ab separation doesn’t tell the whole story
• Sucking in your stomach is not the same thing as activating your core
• Your core functions differently standing than lying down, and what that means for how you train it

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "Every fitness influencer says something different and I don't know who to listen to."
• "My belly still looks like I'm pregnant and I don't understand why."
• "I was told not to do crunches or planks and now I'm afraid to do anything."
• "I can work out, but I don't feel “connected” to my core."
• "My kids are older now - is it even worth trying to fix things at this point?"

Helpful resources

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• The Postpartum Essentials Virtual Course: Heal from Your Pelvic Floor to Your Core
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
 Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
 Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
 Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

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