Under the Hood

A listener asked Dr. Rebecca and Dr. Alex to do a "big sister chat" — the kind of honest, no-filter conversation that most of us never got growing up. They cover a lot of ground: tampon embarrassment, the myth of mutual orgasm, see-through yoga pants etiquette, and what not to do when you’ve been ghosted. Plenty of it is funny. All of it would have saved them a lot of confusion and heartache if they'd heard it earlier. This conversation is for your younger self…or for the younger people in your life who could use it now.

What you'll learn:

• What mainstream porn consistently gets wrong about bodies, orgasms, and what sex is supposed to look like
• Why so many people think their genitals look “weird” (even though there’s such a wide range of normal and healthy)
• Why it's harder to receive than to give, and what that has to do with asking for what you want in bed
• The difference between really liking someone and liking that they like you (...this lesson took us longer to learn than we'd care to admit)

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "I genuinely thought something was wrong with my body."
• "I've always just gone along with things, even when I didn't really want to."
• "I learned more about sex from TV than from any actual conversation."

Helpful resources

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

If this episode hit home, we'd appreciate it if you left us a rating, shared it with someone who also needs to hear it, and followed us for future episodes. Thank you!

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

(Prefer to watch our talk? We’re now on YouTube!)

At least one in ten people experiences tailbone pain after childbirth, and many don't know that pelvic floor PT is an incredibly effective treatment for it - we hope this episode changes that.

Our guest today is Kathy Seim, BPPT Practice Manager and Under the Hood podcast editor. She joins Dr. Alex DiGrado and Dr. Rebecca Eudy to talk about her own experience of injuring her tailbone during the birth of her second son, what she wished she'd known to ask for at first, and how she eventually got the right treatment after a few wrong turns (and several loving nudges from Dr. Alex). Kathy’s experience reminds us that, even when you have a great care team, you still have to be your own biggest advocate. 

What You'll Learn:

• Why postpartum tailbone injuries are often missed or under-treated (and what to keep in mind if you're sent for imaging).
• What to look for when choosing a pelvic floor PT, including asking if they work “in the front and the back.”
• What a trauma-informed approach looks like in a clinical setting, and why it's relevant for any pelvic treatment, regardless of your history.
• Your options for managing tailbone pain if you're in a rural area or don't have easy access to specialized pelvic floor PT.

Tune in if you've thought:

• “I know some amount of discomfort is normal postpartum, but I can’t even sit for a short time without my tailbone feeling like it’s on fire.” 
• "My X-rays came back clear - so does that mean there's nothing more that can be done?"
• "I didn't realize pelvic floor PT could help with tailbone pain - what does that treatment look like?"
• "I live in a rural area and don't have easy access to specialized pelvic care. What can I do on my own in the meantime to get relief?"

Helpful resources:

• Seat cushions for tailbone pain that Dr. Alex recommends to her patients (can be purchased with HSA/FSA funds)
  • Purple (what Kathy used)
  • Kabooti
  • Tush Cush
• Yoga therapy balls 
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory (NOTE: internal work in PFPT is always completely optional, requires your explicit informed consent, and can be stopped or declined at any time)
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Most men have never thought about their pelvic floor (or knew they had one). But those muscles are doing critical work every single day for bladder control, bowel function, sexual health, and athletic performance. In this episode, Dr. Alex DiGrado and Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy talk through what the male pelvic floor is, what happens when it stops working as it should, and why so many men are suffering through symptoms they didn't know were treatable. From younger cyclists dealing with pelvic pain to older men recovering from prostate surgery, this conversation sheds light on a topic that deserves far more attention and offers hope for men who may have been suffering in silence.

What you'll learn:

• How a tight pelvic floor can lead to erectile dysfunction, post-pee dribble, urgency, and pain
• Why Viagra only addresses part of the picture, and what the pelvic floor has to do with the rest
• What "pudendal neuralgia" is and why bike seats are a surprisingly common culprit
• Why weightlifters and high-impact athletes often have pelvic floor issues and how addressing them can improve performance
• How anxiety and shame around these issues can make symptoms worse

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "I didn't even realize men had a pelvic floor. I thought pelvic floor PT was only for pregnant people."
• "I get up to pee multiple times a night, but I just assumed that was a normal part of getting older."
• "I’m careful about my form when I work out at the gym, so why do I still feel pain ‘down there’?”
• "I've been dealing with this thing for a while, but I haven't told anyone."

Helpful resources

• The Fuzz Speech by Gil Hedley — a short YouTube video explaining what fascia is, why it gets stiff over time, and why movement (in more than just one direction) is one of the best things you can do for your body.
• Friedman, Danielle. "Why Men Shouldn’t Ignore Their Pelvic Floors." The New York Times, 1 July 2025, https://www.nytimes.com/2025/07/01/well/live/male-pelvic-floor-health.html.
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Most of us were never taught how to fight fair. We absorbed habits, patterns, and a fair amount of defensiveness from our own families and brought it all into our relationships. In this episode, sex therapist + couples counselor Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alexandra DiGrado get into the mechanics of conflict. Dr. Alex gets personal about her own tendencies as a pursuer, including the moment she was ready to pack up the kids over her husband's tone of voice. And together, they get into what genuine repair requires, which turns out to be a lot more than just saying sorry.

What you’ll learn:

• What it means that conflict is co-created and why blaming your partner for the cycle misses the point
• Why defensiveness is usually about shame, not the argument itself
• Why pursuing and withdrawing are both flooded nervous system states, just opposite expressions of the same thing
• Why a sincere apology requires tolerating your own guilt (most of us skip that part entirely)

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• "It doesn't matter what we're fighting about…we keep falling into the same bad habits.”
• "I feel like I'm always the one who has to bring things up."
• "By the time we actually talk about it, I'm already too angry to have a fair conversation."
• "I don't want to start something right before bed, but I also can't just let it go."

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy 

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

You tested positive for a UTI, took the antibiotics, and felt better. But then the symptoms returned (the burning, the urgency, the constant feeling you need to pee but can't fully empty ughh)…except that the culture came back negative this time, and no one can explain why you still feel awful. In this episode, pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alex DiGrado and sex & relationship therapist Dr. Rebecca Eudy explain what's happening when a real UTI triggers pelvic floor tension that outlasts the infection itself, why this pattern becomes more common as estrogen levels shift, and how pelvic floor physical therapy can help. 

What You'll Learn:

• How your nervous system stays stuck in a protective loop even when the 'threat' has passed, and what helps it settle down.
• Why repeated rounds of antibiotics without a confirmed infection can make things worse by disrupting your vaginal microbiome.
• What a pelvic floor PT looks at when you come in with UTI-like symptoms and how getting that full picture can speed up recovery.
• Why men with non-bacterial chronic prostatitis caused by pelvic floor tension are often misdiagnosed, and how that impacts the treatment approach.

Tune in if you've ever thought:

• "The swab was negative, but it still feels exactly like a UTI. What's going on?"
• "I keep getting these way more often than I used to. Is this just part of getting older?"
• "My doctor keeps prescribing antibiotics, but I'm not sure they're fixing the right thing."

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy

Website: rebeccaeudy.com

Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy

Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado

Website: bostonpelvicpt.com

Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt

Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast

Instagram: @underthehooddocs

Website: underthehoodpod.com

Many couples find it easier to have sex than to talk about it. In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Eudy and Dr. Alex DiGrado explore why conversations about pleasure and “what’s working” (or not) can feel so awkward—even in trusting, long-term relationships. Drawing on clinical experience and real-world examples, they focus on the “supreme courage” of saying what you actually want, hearing your partner without shutting down, and co-creating a shared language around sex. You’ll learn practical, non-cheesy ways you and your partner can move from just guessing and performing to intimacy that’s way more connected, playful, and mutually satisfying.

What you’ll learn:

• Why the clitoris—not the vagina—is the true anatomical counterpart to the penis, and how that relates to the “orgasm gap” in heterosexual couples.
• How spontaneous vs. responsive desire works—and why fantasy, warm‑up, and the rest of your day can make or break sex.
• What LGBTQ+ and kink communities can teach all couples about talking openly about consent, roles, and desire (even if you think you’re pretty ‘vanilla’). 
• Gentle, positive ways to give sexual feedback (and stop faking orgasms) without crushing your partner’s ego or killing the mood.

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• “I don’t want to hurt my partner’s feelings, but what we’re doing just isn’t working for me.”
• “We flirt and crack jokes about sex, but we never actually talk about it in a real, honest way.”
• “What if I want to try this kinky thing, and they think I’m totally weird?”
• “If I need lube and a lot of time to get turned on… does that mean I’m not actually attracted to my partner?”

Helpful resources:

• Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, PhD
• Come Together by Emily Nagoski, PhD
• Becoming Cliterate by Laurie Mintz
• She Comes First by Ian Kerner
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
• Sex After Baby Mini-Course
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you at pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

In this episode, Dr. Rebecca and Dr. Alex dive into the “Oldest Daughter” archetype. Drawing on personal reflections, therapy insights, and Brené Brown’s work, they explore the fine line between being helpful and chronically over-functioning. From running point on family vacations to navigating communication clashes with their Southern husbands (we’re not rude - we’re direct!), this honest and funny conversation looks at why so many oldest daughters are the way they are, what it costs them, and how they’re learning to step back (a bit) and let go (a little).

Key takeaways:

• How oldest daughters are shaped into “hyper-responsible” leaders early in life
• The over-functioning / under-functioning dynamic that shows up in families, workplaces, and relationships
• How being “the one who handles everything” can ultimately lead to exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection from others
• A funny look at "Northern Directness" versus "Southern Politeness" and the struggle to balance efficiency with gentler communication 

Tune in if:

• You think you’re an amazing delegator… and you’re confused why not everyone seems to appreciate this talent  🙃
• You’re curious how birth order follows us into adulthood and professional life.
• You want to hear two business owners + moms laugh about their shared need to be—and stay—in charge.

Helpful resources

• The Power of Vulnerability TED Talk - Brene Brown 
• Project 333 - The Minimalist Fashion Challenge to simplify your life and clear out your closet (as mentioned in Under the Hood Episode 23 with Ali Schmidt) 
• Bowen/Family Systems Theory: The psychological framework that sees the family as an emotional system where everyone’s behavior affects everyone else, often in repeating generational patterns. 
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy 

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Prostate cancer has a remarkably good prognosis…but what happens after treatment? In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Eudy and Dr. Alex DiGrado discuss the common challenges that often follow prostate cancer surgery, including urinary leakage, erectile dysfunction, and the heavy emotional toll these symptoms can have on self-confidence and relationships. They explain why these symptoms happen, how pelvic floor function changes after surgery, and why many people suffer in silence without realizing that help is available. Whether you're considering a prostatectomy, already in recovery, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers education, reassurance, and hope for getting back to the quality of life you want.

What you'll learn:

• Why your bladder behaves differently post-op and which common habits are accidentally making your leaking worse.
• How pelvic floor PT and bladder retraining can significantly shorten your recovery timeline.
• Practical ways to maintain connection and confidence with your partner, even when the "mechanics" have changed.

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• "I should just be grateful the cancer is gone" (while grieving what your sex life and body used to feel like).
• “I'm too embarrassed to tell my doctor I'm still leaking. I don't even know if there's anything I can do about it.”
• "My partner and I haven’t been intimate since the surgery because it feels too stressful. I want that connection back."

Resources

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Treatments mentioned in this episode are educational and may not be appropriate for everyone. Talk with your medical provider about what makes sense for your recovery.

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Many people wait to seek help—whether it’s pelvic floor PT or couples therapy—until things feel so “catastrophically bad” they can’t ignore them anymore. But by then, you’re not just dealing with a symptom or a disagreement,you’re dealing with months (or years) of built-up stress and a life that’s been reshaped around the problem instead of addressing it. 

In this episode, Dr. Rebecca and Dr. Alex share what they wish their clients knew sooner, and what could have saved them time, money, and a lot of unnecessary stress. They also get personal, from Dr. Rebecca being told “there’s nothing we can do” about her postpartum diastasis recti; to navigating “inner child” moments; to what it realistically looks like to “stay regulated” when you’re just really %$^&ing angry.

This discussion is about what's possible when you finally have the right information, and the right support.

What you'll learn:

• “Holistic” care isn't "crunchy" or "woo" - your symptoms often make more sense when you look at the whole body.
• “Staying regulated" isn’t the same thing as suppressing your feelings.
• The difference between “weather vs. climate” in relationships (and why it matters more than the fight itself)

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• "I've seen multiple doctors and they all say I'm 'fine,' so what am I supposed to do now?”
• “We’re not in a crisis, but I’m tired of the constant bickering and snarky comments at home."
• “Is this something I just have to live with now?”

Helpful resources:

• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy 
• Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie Menanno - attachment-based approach to relationships
• The Fair Play Deck: A Couple's Conversation Deck for Prioritizing What's Important – a tool to help couples divide responsibilities and reduce mental load

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com

Most of us know we’re tired (…that’s not breaking news). What we don’t realize is that the kind of rest we’re getting might not actually reach the parts of us that need it most.

In this episode, Dr. Alex and Dr. Rebecca sit down with Ali Schmidt, social worker, therapist, yoga teacher, and certified Daring to Rest coach, to talk about yoga nidra: what it is, how it differs from meditation, and why committing to it for 40 days changed the way Ali shows up in her life. Ali also shares how radical rest helped her reconnect with the inner voice she didn't realize she'd lost after becoming a mother.

Ali’s teachings have had a profound impact on so many women already (including Dr. Alex!) and we think you’ll understand why after listening to this conversation. 

What You’ll Learn:

• What yoga nidra is and how to start, including a free 5-minute practice Ali recommends for beginners.
• How taking time to rest can give you more time and capacity.
• What it really means to simplify, not as a pretty aesthetic, but as a life-changing practice. 
• How Ali and a group of fellow concerned parents helped save her school's kindergarten ESPs (and what rest had to do with it).

Tune in if you’ve ever thought:

• "I've tried meditation before, but my brain just won't stop. I don't think it works for me.”
• “I would love a simpler life, but I don't know where to start, and the idea of decluttering makes me want to cry.”
• “I don't just want to cope better in the moment…I want to not get so dysregulated in the first place."

Helpful Resources

• Rest with Ali Website: www.restwithali.com (and she’s currently accepting new clients!)
• Upcoming Rest Events www.restwithali.com/yoganidraofferings
• Ali’s IG: @restwithali 
• Ali on Insight Timer: insighttimer.com/RestWithAli
• Rest with Ali Substack: restwithali.substack.com 
• Find a pelvic floor PT near you: pelvicrehab.com or Pelvic Global Directory
• Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy 

If this conversation meant something to you, we'd be so grateful if you took a moment to leave a rating, share it with a friend who needs to hear it, and follow us for future episodes. It's the best way to make sure we reach more people who could benefit from conversations like this one.

Connect with us:

Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy
Website: rebeccaeudy.com
Instagram: @rebeccahowardeudy
Newsletter: Parents in Love Substack

Dr. Alexandra DiGrado
Website: bostonpelvicpt.com
Instagram: @bostonpelvicpt
Newsletter: Under the Hood

Under the Hood Podcast
Instagram: @underthehooddocs
Website: underthehoodpod.com