The impossible has happened! After three years of lobbying, Australia is going to take part in the 2015 Eurovision song contest after being awarded a special one-off wildcard that will take it straight to the final on 23rd May 2015.

CJ and comedian Julia Clarke chat about this good news story, are already planning to host the 2016 contest in the outback, talk about Mad March in Adelaide, speculate about who will represent Australia, briefly talk about world peace, can’t remember William Dafoe’s name but know he is the green villain in a Spiderman film, and chat about all things airport security.

Check out Julia Clarke on Twitter @ClarkeJulia and on Facebook at Julia Clarke Art.

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On this episode of the topical comedy podcast ‘Under the News Desk’, CJ and co-anchor Doug Suiter talk all things cats, the amazing return of Bart – a.k.a. the Zombie cat – coming back from the dead, how to work from home when you have a cat, the benefits of health insurance for people and/or pets, and thank the listeners for the invention of the ‘Under the News Desk’ drinking game:

* Every time Germany is mentioned

* CJ saying “and ahm”

* any mention of cats

* to be continued…

You can find Doug online on Twitter @DougSuiter, on Instagram cheesenightmare and the great web series about what it is like to do comedy www.thejokesonme.tv.

Or simply enjoy looking at pictures of “cats standing up” or the fantastic animation of Simon’s cat on youtube.

You can also listen and subscribe to this podcast on iTunes | Libsyn | Stitcher.

CJ Delling and co-anchor comedian Doug Suiter (www.thejokesonme.tv) discuss the Australian prime minister’s decision to give a knighthood to Prince Philip, start the joker’s party, cover cheese and wine tasting adventures, and vegetarian conundrums including meat for the impatient.

You can also find Doug on Instagram cheesenightmare and on Twitter @DougSuiter.

Listen and subscribe to ‘Under the News Desk’ on iTunes | Libsyn | Stitcher.

Update: Here is a quick data visualisation showing the length of terms of all Australian prime ministers as of 9 Feb 2015 (produced in the Delling household on a late Sunday afternoon).

CJ and comedian Renu Prasad talk about the top news story of the month of January: ‘An Irishman couldn’t walk into a bar – so he tried to get in through the roof’.

CJ and Renu also discuss how alcohol carries its own sense of rationality, the shift in eating culture, scary make-up, undervalued “innovative integrated solutions providers” of the future, the importance of a clear branding strategy and roof related puns.

Since the recording, CJ has found out about the difference between a mind map and a mud map (thanks to www.collinsdictionary.com).

Mind map – noun: A diagrammatic method of representing ideas, with related concepts arranged around a core concept.

Mud map – noun (Australian, informal): A map drawn on the ground with a stick, or any other roughly drawn map.

CJ and comedian Renu Prasad discuss the World Economic Forum in Davos, the carefully designed badges system to rank the attendees, what Steve Erkel might be up to, carpooling for the 1%, the invention of chopper cars, the three stages of wealth and take an optimistic view on the world, even though “people do not make money from work”.

Listen and subscribe to it on iTunes | Libsyn | Stitcher.

CJ and comedian Jen Carnovale (www.jencarnovale.com) chat about the longest “sickie” in history, go through tips on how to take a sick day, and were then surrounded by a ‘live audience’ (a.k.a. a group of people, who were on their way to a wedding reception).

Planned live shows: Come along to the live podcast recordings during the Melbourne Comedy Festival on 31 March, 7 April and 14 April at 7:30pm at the Bull and Bear Tavern. Check out: www.cjdelling.com/shop

Deadly snake emerges from the ocean causing alarm to swimmers on One Mile Beach.

CJ and comedian Jen Carnovale (www.jencarnovale.com) discuss the dangers of an average summer’s day in Australia including snakes, sharks, jellyfish, and crocodiles.

 

Wiki-Cheese could save the world! CJ Delling and guest co-anchor Kirthy Iyer talk about Wikipedia’s cheese fundraiser, general knowledge improvement phones, tell the secret about where cockroaches come from and invent the super boring news channel as well as jelly-butter-tofu-bread.

You can find Kirthy on Twitter @kirthyiyer and online at standupcomedynight.com or 33rd Star.

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, on Libsyn or on Stitcher.

Gee, it’s the G20! CJ Delling and guest co-anchor Kirthy Iyer talk about the most recent G20 summit in Australia, invent new words for the dictionary, form the G170, and list prohibited items for this summit and next year: #G20nono.

You can find Kirthy on Twitter @kirthyiyer and online at standupcomedynight.com or 33rd Star.

Subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, on Libsyn or on Stitcher.

Oxbridge Q&A: CJ Delling and co-anchor Tommy Tequila go through the Oxford and Cambridge interview questions, figure out what the moon is made of, invent the norkel, examine the usefulness of the IKEA model, complicated Nordic friendships, and mysterious hamster disappearances.

Also available on iTunes, on Libsyn or on Stitcher.

And here are the results of the first international ‘Under the News Desk’ Haiku Challenge.

 

Tommy’s Haiku:

Cold rain and winter

who can make it all better

Tommy Tequila.

CJ’s Haiku:

Dark night, new moon

endless searching for the one

an inner city car park.