Meet Ben James- Toxic Masculinity, Male body image, ‘Banter’ and being sexualised by women. This first episode of the podcast gets right into the thick of it!
When I was brainstorming some potential guests to record with for the podcast, I knew that Ben James was a must to sit down with! Smart, intriguing and with a total opposite life experience to myself, Ben is the perfect podcast guest to kickstart the series with. Ben is a male model, one who is deemed ‘plus size’ in the fashion World but in reality dons an impressive physique. He stands at 6ft 6’ tall and has had to learn how to move through a society which both fetishizes and feels intimidated by his size without causing too much of a scene, not entirely easy when you tower over most people in a room. I absolutely loved this conversation with Ben, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a little uneasy. I’ve been very open about my stance as a feminist on my social media profiles for years, and often call out gender inequality and the misogynistic society we live in. Many of my posts have focused on things men may do wrong (sorry guys!) in order to try and educate others and create a space for us to move forward, but I haven’t often given much thought to the personal and unique struggles that men face when having to also learn to exist amongst toxic masculinity and the patriarchal hierarchy. Ben was extremely open and honest in the struggles he has faced because of his size, from being bullied by grown men on the side lines as a child on the rugby pitch to being attacked, bottled and unable to go to the toilet in a club by himself all because of how men have felt threatened by the body he was born in. Another eye-opening point for me in the podcast is when Ben shared how he is sexualised online daily by women who comment crude messages under his posts, send him unsolicited nudes or accuse him of being a misogynist for not replying to their messages. Embarrassingly, I had never really thought of how being sexualised by women can have an effect on men. There’s a stereotype that most men will probably enjoy it, but when you’re trying to create content highlighting male mental health struggles and all women are talking about is your dick print, it’s easy to see how you could feel frustrated and degraded.
I knew straight away that I wanted to bring you this podcast as the first episode to kick start the series with because it is immensely thought-provoking, eye-opening and hopefully relates to a lot of my male audience who often don’t feel as though they can talk as openly and honestly about their feelings around mental health and body image as women can. Ben is a huge inspiration when it comes to leading the way for men to lean into their vulnerability. I hope this podcast will help you, educate you and start some important conversations. After all, that’s what we’re here for!