Underworld

Raising children is easily one of the hardest things to do in this world. You have living parasites roaming this earth, depending on you alone at first. While that sounds scary, it gets better with time, They grow up, have their own families, and continue their legacy for the foreseeable future. Do I have any experience in this? Hell no, I just watched rugrats and Fresh Prince of Bel-Air like the rest of us. I'm only sharing cliff notes.

The struggle with parenthood isn't the children themselves, it's how you handle any situation thrown at you by the children. You either discover the correct way to deal with things or the incorrect way of dealing with things. If you're debating which one you should be doing? Please, Seek help.

I can only imagine my family in the future, I find a lovely partner, We grow together, have kids, dogs, and the whole standard throw-up-in-your-mouth charade. I've also thought about having or being with someone who's possessed by an ancient demon seeking out my soul until I give in. I could fight it, hire a priest, gather some sage, hell even conjure up another demon and request a duel like it's some sort of evil battle-bot throwdown.

I couldn't imagine trying everything in my power to relieve someone I care about of said evil entity. The movies are too easy, I don't have a rocking iron chin, and My six-pack is non-existent, so I couldn't kill it with my striking dapper looks, Maybe I could flashbang it with my grotesque appearance. I'm only half joking. I would hire as many priests and grow endless pots of sage to save my family.

I wouldn't however, Disregard my partner's worries regardless of how crazy they sound. If you trust them, then anything they say should hold some weight. You also shouldn't accuse them of heinous acts because weird coincidences occur. It doesn't help either if you're a psychologist and/or a priest that can't see the pure evil right in front of your eyes.

With the apocalypse on the near horizon, Rec delivers its final chapter in this near-pitch-perfect series. Following the events of Genesis, Apocalypse stays true to its name, the beginning of the end.

Lucas and Guzman complete their mission by infiltrating the apartment complex and retrieving Angela. She Awakens on a ship disoriented and having apparent memory loss, much like in the second film.

Dr. Girard approaches and takes a blood sample from patient zero. Dr. Ricarte informs her of no infection, so needn't worry. With all of the high-level appliances, you'd think a military command would have enough in the budget to purchase two straps. Angela fights her way out of the chair and escapes through the ship.

Military wastes no time in capturing her once more, this time locking her in a secured room. Lucas and Guzman eventually find each other, re-group, and search to rescue Angela. Nic, the newest protagonist, assists by being a high-level hacker, comedic relief, and a bumbling idiot who's in love.

Nic navigates through his lifetime supply of candy bars, advanced equipment, and head sweat to save his love, at first sight, Angela. He guides Angela through the ships' barricades, military and infected that have drowned the soldiers.

Guzman is unfortunately turned into the carrier of the virus. Nic and Angela attempt to escape from Guzman and Dr. Ricarte. They have to kill Guzman after they struggle to fend him off. They rush to the end of the ship, lifeboat in hand, thanks to the fumbling hands of Dr. Ricarte.

The boat escape is nearly a failed attempt, but Nic and Angela survive the infected onslaught and tropical storm, and the boat that was set to self-destruct by Dr. Ricarte. Upon explosion, we see the Demon leech thrown into the ocean, swallowed by a barracuda, indicating the start of this very terrifying apocalypse.

It’s a beautiful day, the sun lightly grazes your skin, the air is filled with fresh oxygen, and nature feels lively. Your wedding day has this impenetrable force about it. You could sit there and sulk about the lack of a Brita filter, or you could think positively and surprise your soon-to-be husband with news of a child. Yes, out of wedlock isn’t traditional, but maybe it’s the very thing this family needs. Or that’s the very reason this day turns blood red.

Your family gathers from around the world, wishing you eventful and jubilant years ahead of you two. Find the reason to stay active in each other and let nothing stand in your way. Sing your cringe-filled song without embarrassment to the love of your life. Place the symbol of togetherness on each other's hands. Slice your wedding cake with the very sword Davey Jones ruled with the seas with and have your first dance as one. All of this sounds wonderous and fulfilling, But we’re here for the major turn in this story, Genesis.

It started with your Uncle Pepe hurling his insides by the outside stoop. You ignored the signs of “it’s too good to be true.” You promised to never leave her side. Uncle Pepe gives the only objection this wedding needs to jumpstart the havoc. Wrapping his putrid teeth around his wife, while clinching down on a good chunk of flesh cake. Spawning The wedding day from Hell. This makes everyone split up in a panicked fashion, including the newlyweds.

Their marriage is tested early on in the fight for love. A classic Romeo and Juliet, Horror style. Koldo will stop at nothing until he’s embraced his wife once more. Fighting his way through crowds of Demons, losing friends in the process. His newly found father-in-law, unfortunately, takes a dirt nap escorting his new son to find his daughter. It feels like the more they search for other, the farther they drift apart physically. Sheer determination keeps this bond strong and eventually finds its way to togetherness once again.

We get a small glimpse as Clara transforms into a Final Girl Badass. She knows Koldo isn’t dead, the feeling of aura feels too strong. She chops, grinds, and slashes her way back to the love of her life. The hope is strong for survival in these two. After they embrace a bloody and war-torn kiss, the evil they fought to keep away is too powerful. Surrounded by the demons, they gaze into each other's souls waiting for their imminent death. A literal sign from God drowns over the speaker, stopping evil in its tracks.

Escaping from the venue, they come upon a deaf grandfather, whose impairment reigns supreme for the dead. Clara takes a nasty bite, which leads to Koldo severing her arm in hopes of stopping the infection from spreading. They continue to leave this venue in hopes of survival, only to be greeted by Hazmat personnel and the military. Clara is scanned for infection, exposing positive results for infection. Koldo grabs his bride and exits the tunnel. He refuses to leave his bride after desperately fighting to get her back. As he kisses her one last time, She has fully turned and rips his tongue smooth out, jumping to the ground, giving the soldiers and battle cry before a hail of gunfire fills their bodies. The last poetic scene has both Clara and Koldo laying on the ground, arms stretched for love, and forever together.

The unintentional prediction this movie displays about a pandemic is both amusing and saddening. High-ranking officers, arguably the best in the region, struggled with these Demonic zombie-like creatures, and I don't think sending in additional soldiers will give different results. The traditional Zombie-like creatures we’re used to seeing in apocalyptic movies are plentiful. This series gives a fresh take on the trope, adding in Catholicism with a dash of insanity. The creatures are somewhat similar of “deadites” in the Evil Dead universe. The demons are less talkative in this series, but still haunting to think about. The rogue scientist priest, Named Owen, is a perfect example of knowing how to defend himself if given a task dealing with drastic circumstances.

This all could have been avoided if Jennifer's parents scheduled a rabies shot. Now, this world is crumbling before us with more movies to go. I'm so sure(sarcasm) Cujo didn't mean to bite your face, it was only a playful nibble. Well, that playful nibble has turned you into Damian 2.0, with your mother converted to shark bait. It's always the children to either save the day or ruin it for the rest of us in Horror movies.

The singular mission is to extract blood from patient zero, create the antidote and save the world from peril, of course, as luck would have it. We are left with dimwitted officers afraid of the incorrect things. While fire out of nowhere might be startling, children of the air duct easily Trump flammable blood. We don’t know exactly who hired this priest, or in all honesty if he was hired to begin with. There were no cryptic messages to be said from the priest, as he was ready to tell all about the heinous evil that lives upon them. The only mystery is Tristana Medeiros, The original Strain.

She’s the troll-like creature in this movie, I tastefully gave her a nickname too. She wanders only through the apartment where Angela was taken in the first film. Almost ghost-like, appearing out of nowhere. The group containing swat members, a rogue priest, and the newly and freshly terrified Angela all venture deeper into the darkness of this woman’s crypt-like dwelling. They discover the darkness alone reveals her true resting place. The trickery about this dimension-like door is a nice touch in showing there’s more to this virus. The struggle between Owens and Angela's priorities leads to a soldier being killed by Angela, and the reveal that she is now the new host. Killing the Medeiros woman did not cure or halt the strain. The leech-like parasite will continue to slime its way from vessel to vessel until the world crumbles.

The night is forever young being a young and spry reporter. You will go to extreme lengths to get the latest scoop, even leaving casualties behind. 

This could be titled passion or being a flat-out narcissist. Angela(Reporter of the year) shows a lopsided mixture of both during this film. 

She unabashedly tries to report while tenants, trying to enjoy what sanity they have left from the mass panic. This alone reveals the pace of this story. 

You could argue no one would believe a virus outbreak would turn regular people into rage-filled zombies, without footage. I for one, am not opposed to using

 that camera on my shoulder as a deadly weapon. I could paint a vivid picture of what happened that night. Pablo the cameraman(or I as refer to him as bob) 

has to be given some sort of raise for keeping that composure during this whole ordeal, tremored hands and all. 

The story develops deeply as we find out Fido the dog was patient zero. We discover this information as the little family with Jennifer and her mom being 

quiet in the corner until one of the hazmats reveals the beginning of terror. Mari(Jennifer's mom) tries to convince the group "tis but a scratch!" But we've

all heard and watched the story about Cujo. The only thing this story needs now is a zombie-possessed demon girl, and you know what? That's exactly what 

we get. Nothing short of hitting all the horror tropes with this movie. 

Nothing in this life is forever, which is why I commend cameraman bob for sacrificing his livelihood for the best footage he's ever captured. Even if his

life is nothing more than a target for the end game Beelzebub at the end. Rec continues to surprise me with every re-watch and study. Everything about this

series feels fluid, and natural and has enough charisma to make Brad Pitt quake in his khakis.

The VHS series comes to an end, for now. Siren was released in 2016 as a standalone film. The "amateur nights" short turned feature-length film, stayed true to the franchise, while still being enough to have its own life. We get returning actors from the VHS movies, portraying different characters, Aside from Hannah Fierman, who reprises her role as Lily, the siren. 

Everyone has that one family member who's obnoxious, destructive, and an overall narcissist. Your bachelor party is supposed to be filled with booze, gazing at strippers, and venturing back home. All while, sleeping off what you can in hopes to read your vows in a non-vomiting manner. Never in your wildest nightmares, would you ever want to be the reason some Demon bat would latch onto your soul and refuse to give you up to some mere human. I'm sure her singing was wonderful, But this is why you never follow a dude named "drunk guy" to fulfill some mediocre sexcapade adventures. 

Even though you chose to enter this cult-like house, seeing all the conspicuous people in the house. Cleary the billy bob like a bodyguard, wearing a Phantom of the opera mask would cause a rational person to heed caution. Maybe I haven't been to many "Cirque du so lame" events, But I would be out of that house with a steady pace after noticing that. The underground bar begs a question, Who paid for all of that? Let me get this straight, Mr. Nyx takes leeches in the necks as payments? How does that fare with construction companies? Sure, give me the ol' "I robbed a bank in the 80's memory leech, and I'll build your bar." The building bleeds with other cursed doors, so many open and closed. It's hiding other terrors we will never know about. Lily cannot be the only creature who's locked up and used. Ash herself, the dollar general Medusa was Mr. Nyx's sidekick. We see a random girl running down the halls as Jonah, rand, and Lily try to escape. So, there has to be a cyclops or some other monster lurking behind those doors.

If you captured some monster from the underworld, whose powers were only dampened by gas station earbuds, would you keep the key to unleash its power attached to some truck driver who moonlights as security on the weekends? It's not that difficult to keep that thing locked inside another locked area. 

Time has shown that irrational people continue to make irrational decisions, despite their lives at stake. If a bat-like creature, who I saw rip someone to shreds more than twice my size, says to me "I like you" Then by Lord Horror Jesus himself, I'm marrying that thing. I'm not answering a call to my future wife 20 yards from the thing that just sodomized me. I'll send her a quick text. "Miss ya, smooches." It's unfortunate that his last interaction with his new wife is having her watch him being taken away thigh tight into the stormy night sky. But, I feel like she already knew. I mean who doesn't jump awake to a glass spearing the wooden floor 10 inches away from you. The only thing that lifts you up, is your husband being literally swooped away by a talon-footed winged demon.

The VHS series comes to an end, for now. Siren was released in 2016 as a standalone film. The "amateur nights" short turned feature-length film, stayed true to the franchise, while still being enough to have its own life. We get returning actors from the VHS movies, portraying different characters, Aside from Hannah Fierman, who reprises her role as Lily, the siren. It's a bittersweet moment to end this Movie series. It grew on me, mentally and physically. I've found a new respect for found footage films, while also keeping the same mentality and same brand aspirin for the shaky injections this genre implements.  I now need to find a random man named Drunk Guy, so he can escort me to a woman named Ash and "leech" all my problems away.