Underworld

Vicious Circles/frame narrative (Prologue)

It's almost time for your YouTube video to upload, you've got all the footage edited and complete. You re-watch the footage to make sure all the victims that died on-camera look good, so your stardom can rise. You say to yourself "Where is my snickered flat brim Yankees hat?" Obviously, it's located in your truck to match your truck nuts, and "Boss" and "Champ" stickers. Before you send the video, you remember to thank all your fans for sticking with you through all the exploited content you've provided, because of course you're a man of the people.

Dante The Great:

If you could become the real Cris Angel, and float to the moon by way of the dark emo arts, then by God you would. Now, becoming a homicidal maniac because you're in love with your apprentice so much, that it leads you down the serial killer route. It would be in your best interest to stick with bunnies appearing out of top hats. Unless of course, you enjoy being scum. The Douchery displayed from Dante The Great, bodes well with the ending.

Vicious Circles (Interlude 1) -

You would think standing on the edge of a bridge, leaning over without support would keep you leveled. But, of course, gravity. Hopefully, this fine gentleman of society got his footage before eating a pavement skillet sandwich. Maybe this footage will get him that fame he would kill for.

Parallel Monsters -

Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and most likely the lizard alien Mark Zuckerberg, have the means and funds to time travel or visit different universes. I'm intrigued to know what Zuckerberg's parallel self would be like. Maybe someone with a personality? Do they blink? They don't shed skin in the heat? The possibilities are endless. Maybe the crotch monsters in this universe destroy the bad eggs? Or are they all evil?

Vicious Circles - (interlude 2)

If I was on death row for a mass-murdering spree or some other heinous crime, I would never EVER harm an animal. Now would I commit another murder spree if you killed, let alone harmed my animal? You would be crucified, torched, and pissed on, to say the least. What this man did to avenge his said sweet puppers, is beyond warranted.

Bonestorm -

Tony Hawk would be proud of these fellas, hittin' their sick nasty flip tricks. Hittin' a rad Ollie off a desecrated corpse, ya know the usual activities teenage skateboarders do. Día de Muertos is a sacred thing in Mexico, unfortunately for these kids, they don't listen and disturb the peace of the dead. In doing so, they alert some sort of blood cult God servants to dispatch a couple of them, while leaving the. To fend for their Red Bull drinkin' asses. 

Vicious Circles (Interlude 3) -

Kevin is still trying to chase the truck that is holding his girl hostage. He runs into a pedestrian who's caught on the iPhone trance and begins to bleed out, that statement alone is beyond true. He makes a failed attempt of grabbing a taxi. It reveals that the taxicab is in the middle of shooting some very explicit "Taxi cab confession" episode. Luckily the woman hired on reveals something close to her brought her here, and has other plans for this disgusting dweeb directing it.

Vicious Circles (epilogue) -

Kevin reaches the van abandoned in the Los Angeles River, back door open, inviting him inside with intercom footage speaking right to his soul. Upon entering, what he discovers and the choice he has to make opens up a world of different outcomes this series holds.

You would think by now, going inside a creepy abandoned house to find a VHS shrine with scattered tapes blanketed on the floor would scare anyone away. Yet - people are so hell-bent on the truth, that they will seek out any answer, even if that means risking their spaghetti basket being slit wide open.

Robo-Douche is the kind of guy who spends extra on electronics, instead of fixing his uninhabitable house. The hauntings he experiences felt like a good case of karma, for those that don't deserve that level of technology. The hilarity of decisions starts when cyclops gets startled by his teapot walking the plank to the hardwood floor. I should preface this by saying, I don't know to the full extent of every decision I would make in his situation, but Jesus H. tits, I wouldn't hunker down in a bathroom. During the entire segment, I'm wincing at the fact that this man is sleeping in a bathtub without a pillow. How is he not writhing in pain from the headaches? 

Wannabe Bucky Lasek ditches his woman for the chance to hit some sick ollie-copter tricks(Totally accurate). After proceeding to stop his bike for an injured and helpless woman on the side of the bike trail, His woman definitely spawned that zombie demon to chomp on his veiny neck flesh. It's the right amount of payback for denying relations with your significant other, like seriously? Bike trailing over commencing in bed wrestling? The zombies seem to have a "Dawn of the dead" style of consciousness; from picking up weapons, dodging attacks, and even wielding a firearm and shooting pedestrians, getting revenge for all those rounds in Nacht der Untoten. 

Charles Manson has been long gone by now, Yet we still see documenters wanting to explore the vast world of cults/communes for their next bullshit project for film class. The hints the leader gave in the restaurant were enough to make me end the interview mid-speech. Can we not ignore the little girl silently screaming for help as the crew arrives? I know it's another country, but why is that documentary so important? I can guarantee you that anyone handing me a voodoo stick/twig doll, is immediately getting a visual of my fatass running away, or the people's elbow, following with a 3 count. The inner drama between the crew gave the twist in this segment and actually made sense for the documenters random interview with the cult leader.

It's party time, excellent when the parents leave for the weekend and leave the older kids in charge. Unfortunately,  leaving these degenerate, immature leeches alone, gives certain creatures open season. if you see someone or something spawn a beam of light in the sky, your next course of action should not be hidin in a barn built when cows' milk was discovered. You obviously can't hide from them, so why not fight back with everything you have in that four-foot meat sack? The real hero in this story isn't a human, an alien, or the video camera, it's the cute doggo that saves the day, well not really.

The last series of unfortunate events mold a couple of classic horror films into one. I don't believe people in horror films, have actually seen any horror films in their entire life. Rest assured, hiding in a closet hoping Michael "POV PERRY" Myers doesn't kool-aid man his happy ass right through, doesn't mean some ghost demon won't be hiding in there waiting for his time to pounce on some fresh feared soul.

It's a regular day - you wake up to make sphagettios for breakfast, with a side of funyun toast. You're waiting on that big break, the call of destiny if you will. You know the distasteful and downright sexual assault show you're making won't cut it in the long run.

You get a call, A client wants you to do one simple task, break into a home, steal a specific VHS tape and leave. Surely you'd think, this is easy money, right?  Instead, you find a shrine of old Box TVs positioned in some sort of pyramid symbolizing an old Egyptian demon lord. Upon further gazing, you see VHS players, tapes, and other accessories scattered around the shrine. Oh, and there's an apparent dead old man sitting on a chair behind you. 

The discovery of the shrine alone would make most people feel unsettled. Then there's the geniuses like these star citizens, who just merely want to "explore" the house and leave without disturbing anyone, and anything. Of course, their idea of not being disturbing requires a certain level of intelligence that mirrors a bowl of beans.

Rox decides to watch all of these tapes on the floor, while the others search for the main prize. Horror after horror, Rox continues to watch these haunting home videos revealing proof of monsters living in our world. The tales have a somewhat perfect runtime for each one. You will notice a little theme hidden in the short films, it's a nice touch and comes together in the end.

Unfortunately, It seems watching these tapes awakens the old man to reign terror on them for entering his house and changing the channel "Hey! I was watching that in my forever nap!". After dispatching the crew, with the help of stairs, Old man can peacefully sleep in a chair to the sounds of TV static with a smell of mold in the air. 

If you told me 10 years ago that we would have the majority of the most famous horror from the 70s-90s getting reboots, and or "requels" I would call you a dreamer. I love original ideas for movies, but again, it's nearly impossible to create one. Why not continue a story, add new characters, implement different ideas and run with the legacy. Well - That's exactly what Scream 5 did, and I loved it. 

In my opinion, Scream 4 was a version of Wes' reboot of a nightmare on elm street, and it translated through the screen well, I think it just wasn't the right time for it. Luckily time has passed with technology needing to be the center focus of horror movies or cinema in general. One way or another we go back to the original because it just works. Scream 5 brought everything we loved in the original and added the correct amount of current culture. 

I've thought about something, it's crazy to think we'll never have another Wes original, and it's saddening. Yet, this movie has his essence sprinkled throughout. We get two filmmakers who didn't soil his legacy, they adapted their own vision, with Wes heavily in mind. 

Unlike the 4th installment, we are getting a heavy look at the new characters. The legacy characters show up later in the film, At first, I was a little irritated, but I understood. People grow older, times change, and there's just no reason not to introduce new main stars. The casting in this film was nearly flawless. The chemistry was natural, I loved the way Randy's niece and nephew stole the show, Just like he did in the first two films. They brought a level of awareness he had, this time with the courage of Sidney, such a great combination. 

In closing, we get a great "requel" to the series. It acknowledges the original, but also gives us a clear vision of the upcoming installments. If you love Scream, You love Wes, I personally think he would have enjoyed this film if he were alive today. Does this film hold up in your eyes by today's standards? Do the characters continue to make idiotic decisions? Of course, they do, and that's why I'm here to exploit them.

This is it - Wes Craven's final Scream film. There will never be another creator like him. He continued to adapt in every way possible while still leaving his charm sprinkled throughout this runtime. 

Scream 4 was released in 2011, 15 years after the original. This time with new faces, new ways for the killer/killers too. The movie gave a hint of what today's horror and future horror movies set in current times would be like. Of course, Scream will always be superior when it comes to awareness by the characters. 

You have Sidney, returning legacy character pushing her way through life after those 4-5 years of hell she went through back in the '90s. Weathered and stronger than ever as she returns back to her hometown for her book release. Dewey..Well Sheriff Dewey now, Keeping Woodsboro safe, for the most part. Gale taking a step back from her career to have a family and "normal" life with Dewey as a fiction writer, of course, she doesn't do well in reporting/writing bullshit news.

Woodsboro seems cursed at this point, Sidney's return clearly invites hell to reign itself upon the calm community. "Everything you touch, Sid, DIES." As her lovely ghost-mom/roman mother-brother would say. She really can't catch a break, even just returning to promote how she got "out of darkness"..barf. I'm glad she stayed a true badass and didn't let the book fame and local fame get to her head. 

Jill, Sidney's cousin, becomes the new face, the "Sidney" if you will. The chemistry between the new faces brings a breath of fresh air. It's nice to see the side stories of Charlie crushing on Kirby, or Jill's ex-boyfriend Trevor being a creep, giving the audience the hint of him being the next "Billy". It all works in tandem quite well with the concurrent lore of Scream. It's one of the very reasons I rank This film Higher than the others. 

Most horror films being brought back as a soft reboot or remake, never really work, even with the original creators. But, Wes defeats all odds with this continuation. The ways the killers evolve and come to light towards the end show true range, not only of the actors but of the writing and directing. 

It's the new millennium, Y2K didn't kill you, or maybe it did.. and this is all a twilight zone episode.

This is the only part of the Scream trilogy not to be written by Kevin Williamson. Ehren Kruger (writer of the film Arlington Road, who would later go on to write the screenplays for The Ring, The Ring Two, The Skeleton Key, and Rings) was given the task of writing the script based on notes Williamson himself had sketched out.

Scream 3 delivers an end to the original trilogy with a big reveal. It was only speculation up to this point that Sidney had siblings or other family members. Which, still begs the question, will Scream 6 invite more of her long-lost family members?

Wes Craven continued to make this series a true Meta in its class. The awareness this movie has is only behind movies that incorporate 4th wall inserts and other additions.

The making of Stab 3 gives a great excuse to invite a new batch of characters that don't need a lot of substance. Gale's Actor portrays the perfect yin to her yang. An almost picture-perfect sister annoying sister interaction.

The idea of the killer following multiple scripts, making everyone constantly guess, sounds good on paper. My only issue was the legacy characters didn't seem to have any issue surviving. Yes, Sidney was shot, but it's obvious she would wear a vest. They were too powerful for a Thanos-like antagonist who controlled the outcome of a trilogy.

The series ties up any loose ends that could bring Ghostface back...or does it? Obviously, nothing ever really ends

As you enter the theatre to watch a movie about a famous small-town serial killer, You find yourself wondering - "Should I, in fact, get popcorn before I enter the fucking movie?". I'm in so much pain with people's decisions. I'm thinking  "Wes wanted these types of people to be sliced and diced."  Hypothetically speaking, Killing Jada's character after she gets the popcorn during his copycat film is revenge for the jiffy pop massacre in the first film.

In this episode, I really try to keep it together when it comes to his real feelings on this first sequel.  I appreciate all of Craven's work, I'm just not a huge fan of the lighter side to this iconic slasher franchise. Bringing all the legacy characters back is a great breath of fresh air. But, I find myself noticing the characters are even on the lighter side. I'm sure the main focus of this film was to show the audiences that, even in broad daylight, no one is safe. Or, the pedestrians in this world are unbelievably non-observant!

Introducing new characters in a whodunit slasher series is always easy to figure out, or at least eliminate the margin to very possible suspects. Scream 2 does this at least by introducing other side characters that don't interact fully with the main group. I did enjoy parts of this film with the likes of Debbie salt, Mickey, and even the cringe lord himself Derek, Yes I'm referring to myself and the character. If there's one thing that will never be dull is the side characters in Craven's films.

The character decisions in this film are that of a low-budget horror film. I love yelling obscenities at the tv as much as the next person, But I'd really like to see characters' critical thinking come into play more than once. Luckily, the great Sidney Prescott comes in clutch and creates a hailstorm to reign down on the revealed Mickey and Debbie salt or Ms. Loomis as Ghostface.

Scream 2 tries to brighten up the blood spewed all over the concrete in this painfully bright sequel. It misses its mark in my eyes with the darkness that the original brought. Of course, the vast majority of sequels never outweigh the original.

During this episode, The tone is a bit more sarcastic than usual, If you're into that, well click that play button and enjoy!

t's the year 1996, you head to your local blockbuster looking for the newest horror flick to watch. While gazing upon Tom cruise on the cover in Mission impossible, A dorky, bug-eyed store clerk named Randy comes by and tells you "The horror movies are right this way."

If you've ever wondered what It would be like to have a couple of serial killers, or hell even one in your real-life world. Scream gives you a very real glimpse of what it could be like. Think about people you interact with. Now, think about how many of them do you think could be a serial killer. Could it be the Horror nut who worked at the video store? What about, the seemingly kind man who works at a grocery store? It could be anyone. Different motives. Different people.

Luckily - with technology today, it's much more difficult for a suited-up Ghostface imitating an Edvard Munch painting, to go out hunting down Dumbass teenagers. The level of chemistry this movie and franchise brings, really helps the passion we see from each actor bring to the table. I find it hard to believe that this series is even close to being finished. Like I said, anyone can suit up in Ghostface with a myriad of motives.

Sidney is already a broken badass of a character. She loses her mom in a horrific fashion. Yet, when a person calls to terrorize her, she talks back, calls his bluff, kicks their asses, and wins in the end. She's one of those characters that could make a horrendous mistake and audiences and fans would still rally behind her. The other Co-stars give us many more reasons to love this film. There's no sense of throw-away characters, even Kenny the cameraman is memorable with those dreaded cheese curls and that backwards cap. Ghostface is more frightening to me, not physically that is, but definitely mentally. I mean yes, it could anyone and everyone. But, this voice-changing, pun-giving, knife-wielder can run.. and very fast I might add.

Key notes :

• Why is Casey so negligent of the jiffy pop?

• Who do you think killed each victim in this film?

Tonight we take a look at the 8th installment of the Halloween Series. Will Kung fu kickin' Busta Rhymes judo kick evil down?