Undone Redone

Tray and Melody spend episode 140 discussing the emotions and feelings that surround January 11th, which would have been their 26th wedding anniversary. As you may know Tray and Melody were married in 1992 and then their world unraveled when they divorced for 6 years before reconciling in 2008.

Tray shares a story of feeling totally alone on Christmas Day and running into a groomsman in his wedding at the movies when he was in line to see a movie alone. This was the first time he was seeing this man, who was part of his "community", since his wedding and his sin was on display.

Tray and Mel discuss how during their separation they viewed their anniversary as a sad reminder of this failed marriage. For Tray their anniversary was a constant reminder of his sin and what it had done to his family. Now they are able to look at January 11th as a day to reflect on how they have grown and changed.

They discuss the need for community and how the meaning of community has changed over the years. Mel discusses how their communities both together and apart have improved their marriage now. They discuss how knowing people is different from being known and having that real community of raw, honest truth of who you are deep down. The need for community is overpowered by the need for that community to be real.

Tray is joined by Pastor Paul Dunk to discuss his journey of grace, humility and growth. They discuss a theology of suffering, Tim Keller's impact on his life and distinguishing the gospel of Christ and what people think of religion.

Paul is the founding pastor of KW Redeemer in Kitchener, Ontario and a graduate of Knox Theological Seminary with a Masters degree in Biblical and Theological Studies. He is a content contributor for the Knox Seminary blog as well as Christ Hold Fast. He is a MCO race school graduate but his present hobby is drinking espresso because its less expensive than fixing cars. He lives with his wife Susan in Waterloo with their three children.

Paul and his wife Susan had been involved in youth ministry since about 1994 and were very much in the prosperity faith zone. He was committed to being the next big thing in the world of Christianity and was preaching health and wealth for almost 15 years. They resigned in 2010 because they saw what they were teaching was unhelpful and unhealthy to the Church. They felt they couldn't give their lives to the authoritarian view of how they were living and teaching.

After he resigned, Paul was speaking in New York at a conference and he had a friend tell him about Tim Keller and his book A Reason for God. His wife Susan came to the realization and awakening before Paul did and it created huge problems in their marriage. Paul felt totally contradicted to everything he had ever taught and was totally undone of his pride.

He went on a recalibration of about 5 years where he completely revaluated himself, his faith, and his calling to preaching. The human heart loves the formula and then when the formula doesn't work, we just put the question mark on the person, rather than the formula. We have to realize there isn't a clear cut formula and that grace and the love of the father is always there.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! On this the last show of 2017, Tray and Melody do a brief 'year in review' and look back on some of the milestones from 2017.

Tray and Melody are joined by Boz Tchividjian to discuss sexual abuse in the Church, grace and how we can assist in creating cultures of healing. God placed on his heart to take what you learn to train and equip his church to be the safest place for those who have been hurt to heal and for those that are doing the hurting. Boz, Tray and Mel discuss a topic that many people don't want too discuss because it is messy and the victim has to live with the trauma for the rest of their lives.

Boz reflects back on how he ended up doing what it is he is doing and how after going to law school he wanted to be a prosecutor, but God really put the feeling of compassion for those who suffered from sexual abuse and through many experiences and situations he has found a passion at equipping the church to handle these issues head on.

Professor Boz Tchividjian is a former child abuse prosecutor who teaches Child Abuse and the Law and several other courses at Liberty Law. As a prosecutor for more than eight years, he created the first "Crimes Against Children" division at the office off the State attorney in the 7th Judicial Circuit of Florida. As a division chief, he was personally responsible for prosecuting hundreds of cases of child sexual abuse. He has spent in excess of 17 years using what he learned as a prosecutor to train and equip prosecutors, investigators, social workers, and medical personnel in handling various aspects of child sexual abuse cases.

Tchividjian is the founder and executive director of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment), an organization that educates and equips faith communities to correctly respond to sexual abuse disclosures, while providing practical guidance on how to protect children and serve survivors.

He was a columnist for Religion News Service serving as an expert on issues related to child abuse and child protection. His weekly column was focused on the intersection of abuse and faith communities. His columns can now be found at www.netgrace.org/blog

He has also written a mini book entitled, Protecting Children from Abuse at Church: Steps to Prevent and Respond. As well he has authored numerous law journal articles related to the issue of child sexual abuse. His article titled, "Catching American Sex Offenders Overseas: A Proposal for a Federal International Mandated Reporting Law," was published in the spring 2015 edition of the University of Missouri-Kansas City Law Review.

He is the third eldest grandchild of Reverend Billy Graham and is the co-author of a book titled, Thank you, Billy.

Traylor and Melody are joined by Michael Leahy, the founder and CEO of BraveHearts to discuss sexual addiction, the grace of the gospel, and an upcoming online summit, called Breaking Free Summit.

Michael grew up in a Christian home with all the markings of a "normal" childhood. After moving from LA to Spokane, Washington he began to feel like an outsider and was bullied. Michael looks back at the exact moment he was introduced to pornography on the playground at 11 years old. Once he had seen the porn and kept it a secret with the other boys, the bullying stopped.This led to Michael viewing sex as acceptance and porn gave him a semblance of manliness. Michael continues to reflect back on how this viewing led to a sexual addiction went onto seep into his adult life, marriage and ultimately through his divorce.

Michael is the founder and CEO of BraveHearts, a faith-based, mentoring-centric ministry that's been helping Christian men build and maintain lives of sexual integrity so they don't have to suffer the consequences of sexual sin. Michael has written 5 books on the subject, shared his story of redemption in hundreds of churches, colleges, and conferences. He is committed to helping those break free from the brokenness of sexual addiction.

Michael and BraveHearts are hosting a 10 day online virtual summit called Breaking Free summit. The summit will contain interviews and stories from 45 leading experts in the subject of pornography, sexual addiction, and recovery. All the materials are free for the first 48 hours and after that will be available through the all access pass which is available for purchase. Any money raised goes to BraveHearts and other organizations involved in the summit including Undone Redone. The summit will run from December 10-19 and you can find more information at BraveHearts.org.

Traylor and Melody are joined by Pastor Evan Welcher to discuss grace and death, suffering, the testing moments of trials, and finding joy again.

Evan discusses his journey and his story of losing his wife and trusting the Father in painful moments. After meeting at bible college and becoming friends, Danielle moved home to be close to her father while he battled cancer. Cancer was something that was always a part of their lives with her father battling it and Evan's mother passing away from it. With the ups and downs of life, Evan and Danielle reconnected later on and began to date and eventually married. About 14 months after their wedding, Danielle was diagnosed with lymphoma. Evan reflects back on the feeling of having to watch a love one being sick and dealing with sorrow, pain and loss with the death of his bride.

Evan is senior Pastor of First Christian Church in Glenwood, Iowa. He graduated with a B.S. in Biblical studies from Emmanus Bible College in 2005. Evan's goal in ministry is to "stir up love for Jesus Christ by the giving of great care and fidelity to the teaching of the scriptures".

This week Tray and Melody talk Thanksgiving, giving thanks and what that looks like throughout the recovery process. Speaking from experience Tray and Mel offer words of wisdom, encouragement and motivation to make it through the often difficult season that is the holiday season when you are experiencing brokenness.

Tray and Melody are joined by Pastor Joel Fitzpatrick on episode 132 to discuss a variety of topics such weakness, being a sinner saved by grace, family and how he gets his beard looking so great.

Bringing a sense of humor to everything he talks about, Joel is able to offer a positive outlook on sometimes difficult situations. Joel discusses how he as a Pastor handles people coming to him with struggles of sin and the aspect of humility that must come with confronting these situations. Joel emphasizes the importance of being okay with being vulnerable and weak in order to receive the grace of the Lord.

Joel says being from Southern California is at the core of his personality and explains a lot about who is Joel. Joel was born and raised in San Diego. He has a B.S. in Business Administration and earned his M. Div from Westminster Seminary in California.

Joel and his wife Ruth have been married for 15 years and have two children. Joel has served as a deacon for 12 years, a Ruling Elder for 3 years and is a Teaching Elder in the Presbyterian Church in America. He currently serves as the Associate Pastor for Family and Discipleship at North City Presbyterian Church.

Tray and Melody are joined by author and speaker Sarah Taras who is a lover of grace, theology and sharing her story. In episode 131, Tray, Melody and Sarah discuss her journey to discovering grace, the unconditional love of God, her podcasts, lust, and shame.

Sarah grew up Southern Baptist, married right out of high school and at the age of 20 she and her husband chose to try out a new church. They began attending a fundamentalist church for several years and Sarah discusses the struggles that came from within that church and leaving that church.

Sarah discusses being a women and struggling with what is often culturally and spiritually thought of as a man's struggle of sin. She recalls sitting in church and listening to a sermon aimed directly at men and feeling the double weight of condemnation because not only was she struggling, but struggling with an issue that she as a woman was not supposed to struggle with. Sarah discusses how community and the freedom that comes with stepping into the open to experience the forgiveness Jesus offers.

On episode 130, Traylor and Melody are joined by Author and speaker Marci Preheim to discuss a variety of topics ranging from sexual culture in Hollywood, Fundamentalism, pride and pornography, and awakening to scripture. Marci, Tray and Mel talk through personal experiences of being stuck in the paradigm of performance and how things look to the outside world. Marci bravely speaks out against a culture and community that she felt stuck in.

Marci was born in Lincoln, Nebraska but moved to Hollywood, California as a teenager hoping to pursue modeling. She was born and raised in a very strict fundamentalist conservative church and although she boasts that she memorized books of the Bible, it was in California at the age of 21 that she actually came to know the Savior through the ministry of a local church. Within a year of her conversion she became involved in a women's prison ministry and discovered her passion for the sharing the gospel publicly.

Marci has been married to her husband Arnie since 1993 and they have two children together and currently live in Nashville, Tennessee. Marci regularly teaches women's Bible study at the Community Bible Church and has led monthly chapel services for women at the Nashville Rescue Mission, a Hope Center for female recovering addicts.

Marci has been blessed with the passion to teach the Bible in a simple and understandable way which she uses on a daily basis. She is the author of Grace is Free: One Woman's Journey From Fundamentalism to Failure to Faith and Little Saviors. She is also a co-host on the podcast Fundiland sees Red and is a writer for key life. Most recently Marci has been bringing to light the issue of sexual assault with her piece Do You See Me, about a seminary student who experienced sexual assault while in seminary.

Marci's passion is for women to rediscover the power of the gospel as it applies to our everyday lives. Visit her website and learn more about her writings, teachings and to read her blog posts.