UnfckYourself~with Kat Alexander

"Real Talk: My Last 6-Weeks of Journey Through Healing and Recovery"

In this episode, I’m opening up about the last six weeks and sharing a very personal update on where I’ve been. It’s been a challenging time as I navigated a necessary hospitalization and some significant changes in my medication. Mental health is a journey, and I want to be transparent about the struggles I’ve faced during this time.

I’ll also be talking about the ongoing difficulties I’m experiencing with the loss of my eye and the impact it has had on my daily life, especially with the challenges of losing depth perception and how that affects walking, stairs, reaching for things, and using my phone with my fingers. It hasn’t been easy, and I’m learning to adapt every day.

Most importantly, if you’re feeling overwhelmed or find yourself in a dark place where you’re considering taking your life, please, reach out immediately and seek help. You are not alone, and there are people who care and want to support you through your struggles.

This is a heartfelt and honest episode, and I hope it encourages you to take care of your own mental health and to reach out when you need it. Thank you for being here with me, and I’m grateful for this community.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses mental health challenges and suicide. If these topics are difficult for you, please take care while listening.

Good Morning. Today We discuss Finding Our True Tribe by being Authentic

Get to know YOU– then put yourself out there to meet your tribe.... Here is my recent experience with this and how you can start to align with people who truly get you!

Today we go over 20 benefits of becoming Authentic.

There are 22 reasons we avoid being authentic.

One of them is Fear of Rejection.

We are in the process of exploring ways we avoid fear of rejection. Today we address the first way-- (excessive) People Pleasing.

I will cover 10 common ways we act when we overly strive to people please. Do you do any of these FREQUENTLY?

Everybody does these "sometimes" but when it is a way of life it hinders us. We cannot be authentic if these 10 habits are ways of life for us.

If you would like the list of WHY we avoid authenticity click here:

https://rss.com/podcasts/unfck-yourself/episodes/1556910

Authenticity involves being true to one's own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of external pressures. It means expressing oneself honestly and transparently, embracing one's true self, and acting in alignment with one's core beliefs and values.

Why Authenticity is Scary:

Being authentic can be scary for several reasons

1. **Fear of Rejection

2. **Vulnerability

3. **Judgment

4. **Loss of Relationships

5. **Social Pressure

6. **Fear of Failure

7. **Uncertainty

8. **Personal Growth

9. **Change in Identity

10. **Professional Risks

11. **Fear of Conflict

12. **Exposure of Weaknesses

13. **Breaking Expectations

14. **Cultural or Familial Expectations

15. **Economic or Social Consequences

16. **Self-Doubt

17. **Loss of Control

18. **Fear of Change

19. **Emotional Labor - doing the internal work

20. **Fear of Isolation

21. **Past Trauma

22. Complex Identity: or complex trauma

Breaking it down further….

Starting with #1 Fear of retentio

1. Fear of Rejection:

- Being authentic means showing others who you truly are, which can lead to the fear that they might not accept or like you. Here's how we avoid it:

1. **People-Pleasing

2. **Masking True Feelings

3. **Withholding Personal Information

4. **Overachieving

5. **Avoiding Intimacy

6. **Self-Sabotage:

7. **Adopting a False Persona:

8. **Excessive Modesty or Humility:

9. **Social Withdrawal

10. **Constantly Seeking Reassurance

11 **tendency towards Perfectionism:

12. **Overthinking

13. **Excessive Apologizing

14. Inauthentic Agreeableness:....aka lying for appproval

- Agreeing with others' opinions and choices even when you disagree.

- Suppressing your true preferences and desires to avoid standing out.

15. Non-Confrontational Behavior:

Avoiding conflict at all costs

16. **Passive Behavior

17. **Attention-Seeking

18. **Pretending Indifference:

19. **Neglecting Personal Needs

20. **Frequent Humor or Deflection:

These behaviors, while often employed as protective mechanisms, can ultimately hinder authentic self-expression and fulfilling relationships. Identifying and addressing them is key to fostering healthier interactions and a stronger sense of self.

Happy 4th of July.

I found myself a couple hours ago wondering if I really am committed to being authentic.

My feelings got scratched and my negativity kicked in and I had some tender emotions. I wanted to throw my walls back up, hide, pretend I am Gucci. But that isn't how I played it out in real life,

Tonight I share experiencing emotions when I usually avoid or repress them.

Remember we covered this the other day. When we are fake--

we put on masks

we control how other see us

we pretend

Not today I didn't. And its ok. It's just gonna take some practice feeling things and allowing myself to be uncomfortable for an hour or two. But time goes on. It gets better.

Good morning! We did it! 3 days in a row! woo hoo!

Today we listen to a sniper from a man who works with recovering addicts on the topic to heal complex trauma....this clip is about shame and how we unconsciously decide to be inauthentic.

I also share a bit of my own background and how I did this very thing.

We are addressing blocks to authenticity...in specific today-- fear of rejection/abandonment!

Let's kick off this journey towards authenticity by starting with a very basic definition and a list of reasons why people (we) might avoid being or acting authentic, I will list 22 reasons. There are probably, most likely, many more but I just needed to start somewhere.

We'll cover these reasons we avoid being authentic today then as the days go on we will look closer at each reason and how that might be acted out.

It is important to get a glimpse of what might hold us back on this journey. We don't have to "fix" these things right now. Just get a little insight to spot as we go.

Today is July 1st 2024. I am kicking off this journey to authenticity together with you by sharing with you some vulnerable things that are going on in my life currently that have set me back. But I'm going to step forward. I'm going to move on and you can too.

This is just a little catch up to let you know what's been going on. Feel free to leave comments or reach out on email about anything you'd like to discuss or hear about.

As I state in this audio I am a former pastor I'm a former life coach didn't mention that I've been in and around self-help for decades and I myself see a therapist. I am not let me say that again I am not a licensed clinical professional. This is a journey I'm on based on everything I've researched and I love research and I'm on this journey with you as one of us.

I believe that authenticity is what we need to heal our lives and to have the best life possible. I look forward to getting to know you and a building relationships.