Unfiltered: Real Church Planting Conversations

Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee want to help you avoid the common mistakes church planters make.

1:02 Lee says the first mistake is overspending.

1:13 Two things church planters overspend on are marketing and sound system/audiovisual.  

2:02 Danny says the drive to overspend comes from the comparison culture.

2:34 Danny and Lee recommend having a coach to help you guard against overspending.

3:14 Lee says you need to create a budget and stick to it.

3:42 Another way Lee sees planters overspending is staffing or setting up their own salary.

4:21 Danny says the second mistake is making people feel guilty for leaving the church, which he struggled with at his church plant.

6:05 Danny eventually learned, "When people come and go, it’s just part of it. Have a kingdom mindset, send them out with a blessing."

6:35 Lee says when someone is leaving, look at that as an opportunity to ask some questions and learn from them. "Hey, I know you’re going to be heading out, are there things that we could pay attention to that we could grow from, that I could grow from as a leader that would help us move forward as a church?"

7:24 Lee talks about the third mistake: choosing the wrong meeting space.

9:01 Danny says if you’re planning on attracting families, you need to think about children’s space.

9:31 Lee says you need to pay attention to the cultural aspect of the facility. If it has a negative connotation culturally and historically in that community, people aren’t going to come.

10:16 Danny discusses the fourth mistake: giving titles like pastor and director too early. Give responsibility, not title. It’s easier to remove responsibility from someone than it is to remove a title.

11:25 Lee says leadership has to be something you recognize, not something you appoint.

11:57 Danny says he set his interns up for failure by giving them the title pastor.

12:23 The fifth mistake: overprogramming.

13:03 Danny and Lee talk about responding to people who want to start a new ministry in your church.

Dr. Scott Livingston joins Lee Stephenson, executive director of Converge Church Planting, to help you better understand what emotional intelligence is all about and how to process your emotions.

0:29 Lee introduces his special guest, Dr. Scott Livingston.

1:04 Scott explains what emotional intelligence is. 

5:20 Scott says whether we have good emotional intelligence relates to how well we know ourselves.

6:47 How well you know yourself and the impact that emotion has will impact your judgment and decision making.

7:39 Self-awareness is understanding what triggers you emotionally and the impact of that trigger on you. 

8:42 Scott shares an example of a time when he didn’t have control over his emotions. 

11:23 Scott says our emotions are signals to us. They’re giving us information from our outside world. Do we allow our thinking to come in and process with the emotion so that we can make good decisions? Or do we react so fast that our emotions rule the day?

12:11 Scott talks about empathy and compassion.

15:17 Scottthinks church leaders’ job is to understand other people’s perspectives and show care and compassion without sacrificing their self-regard or self-confidence.

15:38 Scott discusses the importance of balancing our emotions.  

18:04 Scott says he’s seeing a lack of hardiness, or stress tolerance, in leaders during this season.

18:28 Scott talks about the three components of hardiness.

23:09 Scott explains why we need to pay attention to and trust our emotions.

24:03 Scott talks about the importance of rest.

26:11 Lee and Scott discuss why you need to have a hobby.

27:23 Scott says leaders need to care for their body (What we put in it; how we use it; are we exercising it?)

28:37 Scott says relationships are the key to being wise. Community matters.

30:12 Scott recommends resources to help you grow in your emotional intelligence.

32:50 Scott shares how you can contact him on his website.

Church plants are experiencing financial challenges related to the COVID-19 pandemic. Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss how to handle budget problems.

1:41 Since giving can fluctuate from month to month, Danny says planters need to be careful not to overreact and make any super drastic, long-term decisions.

3:13 Lee recommends working with whoever handles finances in your church to project if we play out the same giving habits over the next (x) number of weeks, when will we not be able to make payroll or pay rent?

4:27 Danny says vision always works better than desperation when talking to your people about a financial need. "Desperation will work short term, but you have only a few times that you can use that."

5:15 Danny says you need to be honest about where the church is at financially.

6:27 Lee encourages pastors not to be afraid to talk about money. "Just make it a normal part of the conversation of what it means to be a disciple."

7:24 Lee says pastors need to be proactive about having this conversation. Knowing ahead of time that this could be a hard season, engage them before that becomes a reality.

7:59 Lee encourages pastors in May to ask people not to forget about the church financially during the summer.  

8:35 Danny explains why he advocates for the lead pastor knowing how much individuals in the church give.

10:23 Lee says when talking about giving, acknowledge everybody in the room. "Give a way out or a way in depending on where they’re at financially. Don’t just speak at people like everybody in the room is rich, but also don’t speak at [them] like everybody in the room is poor."

14:11 Lee cautions against giving everyone on your staff a credit card.

18:08 Lee talks about two areas in the church budget he’s not willing to cut.

Social media’s rapid growth offers great opportunities — and challenges — for churches. Abby Hillmer, creative director at Blu Wave Social, joins Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee to discuss how your church can improve its social media presence and engagement.

0:53 Abby talks about what she does at Blu Wave Social.

1:57 Abby shares how a church’s social media presence led her to decide to follow Jesus.

2:36 Lee asks Abby about the three biggest mistakes she sees churches in using social media.

2:50 The first mistake she sees is churches not using social media.

3:25 Abby discusses social graphics.

5:06 Churches miss out when they don’t respond to comments and messages.

6:49 Abby says churches need a different strategy for each social platform.

8:29 Danny talks about the value of authenticity on social media.

9:06 Lee asks Abby how churches can create greater engagement on Instagram and Facebook.

9:36 She says churches shouldn’t post more than one announcement a week.

10:48 Abby talks about the best times and days to post on social media.

11:39 She discusses the benefits of resharing posts on Facebook Stories and Instagram Stories.

12:12 Abby recommends using videos and photos of people in your church to bring a human element to your social presence.

12:45 Lee asks Abby: How many times a day and week should churches post on social media? When does it get to be too much? When is it not enough to create engagement?

14:15 Danny asks Abby if it’s OK for planters and pastors to hand off social media responsibilities to a volunteer.

16:29 Abby talks about how to plan out and schedule your social media content.

Almost everything about church has changed because of COVID-19, including communion and the offering. Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss how to still include these elements in the worship experience.

2:08 Lee asks Danny: What have you seen done that is a complete mistake when it comes to offering communion?

3:11 Since passing the basket is out, probably for good, Danny says the simplest option is placing an offering box or bucket in a secure location in the back.

3:32 Danny says, Don’t take the worship element out of giving just because it’s online.

4:21 Even if it’s just a quick announcement, you still have the opportunity to cast vision and train people in what giving actually is all about.

4:31 It’s still important to schedule the offering within the normal order of worship experience, whether in person or virtually.

5:10 You can use the offering as a time for people to fill out virtual connect cards.

5:34 Make the offering about worship, not just the function of a financial transaction.

5:39 Lee says, Don’t bypass the opportunity to teach on giving. "People still need to be reminded and educated, why this is an important part of our faith journey."

5:57 Lee says it’s important to give very easy, clear next steps. If you have boxes or baskets in the back, point those out, explain what to do. Explain envelopes are only necessary for cash. Drive everybody to online giving as much as possible.

7:43 Lee and Danny talk about how to do communion in this season of church? How do you do communion virtually? And then how do you do communion when you do get back to in-person gatherings at some level?

9:29 Lee’s church used pre-packaged communion elements when they had their first in-person gathering since COVID. He explained to people what to do and that they were all put out in a sanitary method.

11:00 Danny says pastors should let people know it’s OK not to take communion if they don’t feel comfortable. Consider doing it at home or wait until you’re more comfortable.

COVID-19 has caused churches to change the way they do things, including how they use their buildings. Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss what church buildings will look like in the future and how they will be used differently.

0:46 Lee asks Danny if he thinks buildings will still be effective for ministry and evangelism post-COVID.

2:20 Danny says studio space may be more important than seating capacity.

2:48 Danny thinks this season opens up the opportunity for a lot more shared spaces.

3:10 Danny foresees church buildings being used in other ways throughout the week.

4:26 Lee thinks new church buildings will be designed differently.

4:54 Danny sees more opportunities for multi-sites and church planting.

5:51 Lee and Danny talk about budgeting for more people-specific ministry and operations versus just into facility usage.

7:00 "This is the season for the apostolic leader to take as much ground as you can. Leverage your strengths and your gifts. The church in this season needs you as an apostolic leader to step in and help."

7:17 Danny thinks buildings still will be important. "I still think that buildings communicate permanency, longevity."

COVID-19 has changed the rules of engagement for churches. Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss how your church can make the most of this opportunity.

0:41 According to Barna, about one-third of practicing Christians (32%) aren’t attending church in-person or online.

1:11 Danny says the novelty of attending church online has worn off for people.

1:43 Danny says not having accountability makes it easy for people to skip church.

2:44 Danny feels the upside of this time will be reimagining what engagement looks like, whereas before engaging the church meant: serve on "this" Sunday team.

3:08 Lee says initially online engagement and giving at his church increased. Then summer hit, and like a typical summer, things changed. Giving started to drop, and overall engagement dropped significantly.

4:12 Lee says it’s been difficult for his church to get people to engage on social media.

4:57 Churches have to be more creative on how they define, look at and count engagement.

5:12 If you’re going to change the rules of engagement, you have to answer these key questions. What are you going to change, and how are you going to change it? What’s realistic when it comes to expectations on engagement?

5:46 Danny says his engagement and participation at his church have dipped during this season.

7:36 Danny thinks there’s a great opportunity for pastors to see engagement beyond the online Sunday service or social media. He’s seen church plants mobilize their people to engage in community nonprofits, outreaches events, schools, etc. That is real church engagement when you are the hands and feet of Jesus in the community.

8:43 Lee says we have to be willing to get our hands dirty and get involved in people’s lives. "The more involved you get in people’s lives, the messier it is."

9:55 When you see somebody share something that you do on social media, you as a church should go in and thank them for that. Celebrate that they are trying in this season to get the word out, be an encouragement and share what your church is doing.

11:34 Lee says people are suffering from screen fatigue.

12:06 How do we do discipleship in the digital world?

13:02 Where should you invest your resources? Do you see yourself making disciples just of those people in your community? Or do you see yourself making virtual disciples all across the world?

16:19 What are you doing to create conversation? It’s not about just content development. There is plenty of content out there. It is more about: Are we creating conversations that are moving people further in the discipleship pathway?

16:55 Lee encourages listeners to share what they have seen when it comes to church engagement.

The COVID-19 pandemic is damaging people’s emotional and mental health. Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss how the church can equip people to help those who are hurting.

0:22 Lee has had a lot of conversations with people who are struggling emotionally. He says a lot of people are wrestling with a lack of purpose in this season.

1:14 Danny says working from home has caused some people to lose purpose.

2:11 Lee discusses how different preaching to a screen and camera is from preaching to a live audience.

3:33 Danny talks about how we were created to be in community and need genuine encouragement as people and pastors.

4:15 Lee asks Danny what advice he has for pastors and church leaders knowing that purpose is an issue right now.

4:27 Danny suggests starting with the teaching element — teaching with authenticity.

5:09 Danny asks Lee what his church is doing beyond the sermon.

5:23 Lee says the No. 1 thing is trying to get people more engaged.

5:45 Leverage everything you can to help people understand evangelism needs to happen continuously outside of the one-hour Sunday experience that we’re used to.

6:35 How are we training and equipping our people to understand that God has, in essence, scattered the church, but that doesn’t mean the mission has stopped?

6:53 Danny asks Lee for practical examples of how his church is helping people engage their neighbors.  

7:34 Lee says his church readjusted all of its series in this season. Some of the questions they are answering: Why is the church important? Why did God create the church and even more, helping people understand why God calls us the bride of Christ? How do you love your neighbor? How do you be the Good Samaritan in this season?

8:56 Help people look for open doors that God’s created right in their backyard, that maybe before they were too busy to notice.

9:12 Danny says when you reach out to the community, you might offend some people.

9:54 Lee says volunteers can help by calling people who have been to your church to check in and see how they are doing.

10:26 Danny asks Lee what pastors and planters can do to help people struggling with mental health issues.

10:59 Lee says, first, you have to let people know that there is a way to get help. What’s the next step?

11:27 Talk regularly about how to get help, communicate it to your people via text, email, social media and even add into your sermons.

11:36 Lee’s church created a "we care" webpage (harvestflorida.org/we-care) for scheduling time to meet with a pastor, professional counseling and benevolence needs.

13:49 Lee says this what the church needs to be about: How are we resourcing our people? How are we enabling them to continue to carry out the mission?

14:09 Lee encourages listeners to reach out to Danny or him if they are wrestling with a lack of purpose.

For church planters, the COVID-19 pandemic hasn’t just been challenging for their ministry; it’s also taken a toll on their families. Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee discuss how they and their families are navigating this difficult season.

0:30 Lee says this season has gone from being like a blizzard to winter to now more of an ice age.

1:17 Danny says the hard part is the unknown.

2:00 Danny asks Lee about what he’s been doing with his family this summer.

2:26 Lee says he’s taken up all kinds of new hobbies to get his mind off of things. His family has also done a lot of fishing and traveled to see family in Phoenix.

3:53 Lee and his wife are constantly having conversations about what’s next. "What do we do next?"

4:55 Danny and his family were on vacation in Destin, Florida, when the pandemic started.

5:25 One of the things Danny and his family have done together during this season is taking a walk every evening.

6:27 Danny says, "There’s tons of difficult things, but let’s try to see some of the silver lining and the positive there."

6:33 Danny says working remotely in Florida in June was good for him and his family.

7:37 Danny recommends using the time to make memories, even if it means spending a little more money.

8:00 Lee says it’s OK to take time to rest. "Sometimes, you need to give yourself permission to go ahead and free up your schedule to go do that."

9:07 Danny says planters are busier now more than ever even if they’re not meeting for Sunday services.

9:49 Lee discusses the importance of sitting down with your spouse to budget and schedule your time.

Special guest Matt Shull joins Converge church planting leaders Lee Stephenson and Danny Parmelee to talk about planting City Lift Church in South Florida.

0:44 Matt discusses why he decided to plant in South Florida.

1:42 Matt says his church started in his townhouse, then moved into a community center and launched in a high school.

2:13 Matt explains how his church has been able to connect with millennials and Gen Zers.

3:30 Matt discusses the importance of developing community and relationships.

5:28 Matt talks about how his church took a different approach to small groups called Lift socials.

7:01 Matt says part of their discipleship process is building friendships and relationships through Lift socials.

9:08 Matt shares about the challenges he’s faced as a church planter.

11:41 Matt talks about what kept him going during the fundraising process even though it was hard for him.