Here we dive into the difference between rationally understanding something (on a brain level) versus truly understanding something on an embodied level. I’ll share my experience with survivors' guilt and PTSD, and my journey from not identifying with those labels to finally having an understanding of what they mean for me. I’ll also share the role psychedelic therapy played for me and how it’s necessary to travel through the messy confusion of vast feelings before it’s possible to understand past experiences with a rational label like trauma, survivors guilt, or PTSD.

Every time a tree moves in the breeze, it’s moving in a way it’s never moved before. The wind will never be exactly the same. Never the exact same velocity or direction. And the tree is never going to be exactly the same. Never the same number of leaves, needles, or branches. There is beauty in being present for something that’s never been done before. The lesson from the trees is that even in doing something you have seemingly done a million times before, it is never the same. If you check out, if you go on autopilot, then it will feel the same. But if you choose to be present, if you open yourself up to experience what’s there this time around, you’ll step into the beauty of the journey.

Have you ever thought about how amazing your lungs are? I have. They are freaking incredible! I’ll let you in on my lung fan-girl thoughts. 

In this life, you get the privilege of being YOU. No one else in the history of the universe will ever get to have the experience of being you. Only you will get to experience the delightful thoughts that float into your head, seemingly out of nowhere. Only you will get to understand the depths of your feeling and the capacity of your love. You have a front-row seat to you. You get to love yourself in a way that no one else ever will, because you get to experience yourself to a depth no one else ever can. You get to learn how to treat yourself with unconditional love, honoring the incredible being that you are. What a privilege it is to get to love you. 

Let’s talk about the danger of controlling others. The damage it causes to relationships, and the way a power imbalance can create a control trap. Never forget, under control lives fear, not love. 

A baby is awe-inspiring simply because of their existence. Their being is delightful. But somewhere along the line, we start attaching the worth of people to what they accomplish. We start attaching our own worth, to what we can do or what we have done. But your worth is always there, simply for the fact of your existence. Afterall, you are the first and last time you will ever exist. 

Let’s talk about the major flaw in the chase of perfection. 

How often do you decide your path based on what you “should” do? Based on what other people expect of you. What would life feel like if you let your doing flow from your being? If the way you showed up was always an expression of your being? How would it feel to run toward the things that bring you alive, instead of forcing yourself to chase the things you think you’re supposed to chase? 

Life is meant to be a tango between “doing” and “being”. A beautiful unfolding dance that balances those two states. If you spend all your time “doing” - as I have for large stretches of time - you miss out on life. The dance falls apart. 

When you honor the path that’s right for you, instead of the path of obligation, you give both yourself and others a gift. When you honor what’s right for you, you become a beacon. You show others how to do the same, from a place of love. Honoring what you need, creates a doorway for others to honor what they need. Remember, love has nothing to do with obligation or guilt. When something is coming from a loving place it doesn’t need to be coerced. It’s given freely and in abundance.