In this episode we are debuting a more action packed and shorter format! From now on we will be releasing episodes weekly!
In this episode we discuss what happened over Jared's wild birthday weekend that required a few days to recover from. We also debut a new segment where Jeff and Jared debate a topic called 2 Dipshits Debate!
We also have our usual clips! We react to a woman who clearly didn't pay attention in history class, a man who looks like he swallowed a million bees on tik tok, and an example of why New York City Subways are the worst!
Time Stamps:
Intro: 0:00
History Challenged Woman Clip 2:07
Jared's Birthday Summary 13:12
Overweight Tik Tok Shows How He Can Breath 24:06
2 Dipshits Debate 30:28
New York Poops 36:49
***Transcript***
Sub sluts and homos. Wow. You are now turned into the new weekly episode of Jeff of Jared's save the world world. We made the random fucking decision to go back to weekly episodes and it totally was not planned, but you know, literally two days ago. So, you know, it will be shorter than past episodes, but would you rather get us once a week for 40 minutes or twice a week for an hour and 20?
I think, you know, once a week. Yeah. 40 minutes is enough to make it come. And once every week is better than twice a week, you're getting two loads instead of just one, you know what fuck off. Um, now you guys can make a weekly routine of coming home from work, locking yourself in your bathroom door.
Pretend you're taking a shit and drifting away to the soothing sounds of our voices without all the way. Let's start this shit off.
[00:01:00] Peaches: What do you think about Hitler? Um, I don't know who that is or what he does. I'm assuming that's some kind of rapper, but, um, give me some kind of big rapper a name y'all come up with all type of names, but whoever he is. Um,
I liked his name to be hipper. You do the live stream during that is the best.
Jared: So this is coming from a fucking Instagram live and someone did like a Q and a question and asked, what do you think of Hitler? And obviously she said she was some kind of wrapper and. I guess she's kind of right. I heard his last joint did 6 million or some shit. Oh my God. [00:02:00] I fucking spitting straight gas.
I heard they made a movie after it. What was it called? A boy in the striped pajamas. Oh, was that his first album? That was his first. That was his first us album that really made it. Uh, really, really send us message across, uh, w where is he originally from? He's I think he's from the think he's from Czechoslovakia and Czechoslovakia.
Okay. We'll fucking spin them. Fucking bars, maybe, maybe. Yeah. You know, I heard he was part of, one of the best Dubose in hip hop history, fucking MC Hitler, DJ style, DJ style. Him has a really good heads, but TJ Stalin was like, like Hitler was like, you know, like he stole and pass the torch to Hiller. Okay.
Yeah. Okay. Type of deal. That was his DJ, but you know what? You're right. Um, Hiller really fucking fucked. The torture ran with it
[00:03:00] really set the crowds on fire with this performance.
Yeah. Yeah. But before his death, he was working on a crazy concept album called gorilla man gorilla, man. Yeah. Just wild fucking concept, gorillas and men just rapping. Fuck it happened featuring rhombi. Yeah. Yeah. This is how it does help, but it was the last last big thing before you. Okay. And you did a song with MC Hitler.
Okay. You know, I prefer it as over and we're kind of here's. My favorite album was blitz Creek. I hear the C's not very popular in Poland.
Yeah. Oh man. But he, she generally does not know who he is. No, she doesn't. She's going to be saying is fucking and phrase a rock band. And she's like, I really liked his name. Hitler, Hitler. Let me tell you something. Hitler would not have liked her. No, [00:04:00] let me just say he prefers blonde.
Right. What do you think she was doing in high school? When this happened? She probably stuck it out. The quiet kid.
God. Hey, pinches the sucker, the quantum kids, Dick it's history class. Come learn about world war II. Sorry. God dammit. It sounds like a water park in here. Again, like a fucking toddler running through the shallow end Millway pool.
Tom Ms. Johnson never quiet. Cause you sit in class, like thank you, peaches.
Well, it's got a Hawk. Oh my God. I can't help myself. You put me next to, well, it's [00:05:00] your fault, you know, I guess what's going to happen. You know, I got the ADHD always down in hard deck. Yeah. Oh, wait, fuck. This is me. Yeah. Oh God. Oh fuck. All right. We're going to cut all this out because I'm an idiot. Nope. No.
Okay. But who run into rap metal? Uh, between Hitler or Mac Miller? Let's see here. I think back is the better rapper. So I think he went in the battle, but something tells me about it. Background, it's going to win a war.
That's actually what caused them to start the Holocaust? Is he lost a fucking wrap-up. No, it was that it was, he was working out in the gym and the giant Jewish guy had all the women. That's what family guy has, but I have a feeling they're going to do like a remake of eight mile [00:06:00] fucking, it would be really hard to do that with backfill there being dead.
That would be incredible though. Bring them back. I mean, obviously we have to get Hitler for it. I think he might be dead remake, eat my would call it octopus
saying
God damn it. He's just rapping in the final battle. And he loses the Mac Miller easily. As I have had enough of this shit. I felt good to buy respect. You'll pay Mac, Malcolm McCormick.
But he'll say your name is Mac Miller, but your real name is Malcolm. Goddammit it, how Mac Miller respond to that? Like yo bro, like, you know, it's just fine, you know, let's just do some model, honestly. Let's be honest. He probably would be too fucking stone to be able to respond to me. [00:07:00] Like, you know, my name is Malcolm.
Do you like lane? Jesus Christ. Did he like it? Yeah, he liked a lot of trucks. Oh man. I don't think he met a drug. He didn't find it. Well, ma'am I just have to say Hitler is not a rapper now. Hitler is not a rapper. No, he's a, he's a record producer. He didn't do any of the dirty work himself. He just helped other people do.
Fuck. No, I'm just, I'm just sorry everyone.
Watch this. He made the magic happen. He's the one he's putting the pussy on the table. The other people are the ones fucking it.
You know, he could remake some looting. I [00:08:00] won't call it 99.
Man
man,
Wu it's for the children. We just dropped lower on the totem pole to hell. Every episode we released, we're going to be we're closer to going. Well, at least we have a month of Def. Yeah, not yet. It's still on an episode last, uh, I really don't know how to transition from this last segment to the next one, but you know, let's just talk about my birthday party.
Yeah. We're going from death to your birthday. We're going from Nazi, Germany, and only somewhat related, you know, to speak German and you loved German food and.
You don't have brown eyes. I don't, some people say they turn blue in the summer, but [00:09:00] did your religion there? Jeopardy. Wait, are we talking like serious religion right now? We're going to go to this conversation. Okay. Nevermind. I just had this conversation with somebody.
Wait, what's your religion there, Jeff? Yeah, it was pretty much that. And I was like, uh, Oh, you don't believe in Jesus Christ. Did they try to give me a lecture of how it's done? We don't have to get it cause it's not fun. It is not funny. It was not a good conversation. Did the fucking lighten up? Oh God. I'm so sorry that somebody else thinks differently than you can go get late.
Get your Dick sucker to go pick up a homeless man. Go pick up a hitchhiker. Sorry, not a homeless man. Don't pick up a hitchhiker. Number one role of hitchhiking is they got to suck your Dick. So, you know, just face fuck that man, all the way from here to Kalamazoo. You do have to talk about that real quick.
Oh yeah. So I guess we could put on my birthday talk. So, um, you know, I've talked about how I do the customer [00:10:00] visits for my work. I'm not mentioning that place because you can not call my HR department. You fucking assholes. Um, and you, I sent you a text, an audio message because for the first time, in my 26 years of life, I saw a fucking hitchhiker.
And I contemplated taking him with me to this customer visit just so I could face fucking number one rule. This is Rick. I only, we're only told one person from the company was coming. What, who is this guy? I was like, oh, this is Rick. He's my gimp, my walking flashlight, ironically down the road, there wasn't a place called the lion's den that wasn't adult Superstore.
So I could have gone in there and gone to him like a fuck-up BDSM mouth. But like in little, like the little gimp mask ball. So I show up with my gimp on a leash. The best thing, no, you don't get him anything besides the fucking leash. Come on. This is my homeless [00:11:00] person. Come on Rick. You're not supposed to go over there.
Come on Mondays. You're good. After this, we'll give you some kibbles and bits. Make them share my cat bed with my cats. Don't get us. This is your new brother. Why are you face fucking my brother, mom. Judge freeze.
It sounds like he's sticking his Dick in a Potter. A bottle of Jif.
Rick said, how long do we, how long does he have to do this before he needs? Uh, he can have his kibbles and bedside dried com.
Facebook that I need to Facebook that can, uh, Jeff, you know, cause choosy moms. Okay. Yeah. Not Skippy. Nope. Choosy [00:12:00] moms choose Jif. Yep. What's the other one. Jesus loves me. He loves me a bunch because he packed skip in my lunch. That's what you sing to him as he's sucking peanut butter off your Dick, Eddie, you back to my birthday.
Yeah. Uh, so they threw a surprise party, kind of a surprise party. Let's be honest. I knew about it. Yeah. Not, not for any other reason besides the fact. Yeah. Why fucking told me, she's like, we need to go visit Jeff at work on your burgers. So I get there, I failed miserably acting surprised, like, oh, I didn't know what to do.
So I just went to sarcastic as fuck, especially because it was in the back room and I was walking towards it. No blindfold, no nothing. I just saw everyone sitting there. So, you know, that kind of really takes the surprise factor away. I was like, oh my [00:13:00] God, I'm so fucking,
that was great because we all ate food when you walked in, because like everybody who was there to do that, it got spoiled for you. Um, so when, when you walked in, we were like, oh, we should, I really wish I would've said this son of a bitch. Yeah. They let just anyone in this park. Um, but the party was hope themed because of our new business, new business, Jeff, Jared abortions, family-friendly abortions fucking may speak.
So they have a dentist's office.
They had to take the whole thing where they take the ball from going back and forth on some sort of fucking retard. Like I wonder where this one's going to go. Just want to go to the same place every time.
Really make sure you're not returning. [00:14:00] What do you try to pull that shit off over here? All right. This kid, this kid needs to be looked at. This kid might be special needs. He started to take the ball off course. He can't figure it out. Prescribing him a helmet.
Yeah. They just had to sit there and they just had a monitor kids playing with it. Helmets, you know, back in the day they didn't, they didn't have disorders back in the eighties. They just had retarded or not retarded. Pretty much autism is pretty much a new thing. Let's be real here. They did not diagnose that shit back in the day, really showed up.
You know, we, I'm glad our fucking understanding of disabilities is approved to where we can actually raise children to be, you know, like, I don't want to say normal because, but, you know, There, there was like a four, there was like so many different forms of it. Now that back in the eighties and nineties, they just called you a retard pretty much.
Now, now we actually know, be [00:15:00] like, oh, this kid's bipolar. Okay. This kid has ADHD or no, no, but he's a retired. Um, but speaking of needing a helmet, uh, so I think my grandpa needs one. I can't believe that we were in a back party room with, in the room. Like it's separated by the breast of the bar, by glass, with a door in the middle.
And my grandpa walks into the glass like a fucking pinching kitchen. The fuck. Is this a Windex commercial? I almost yelled at you. Like God dammit, Jeffrey. I told you not to use the window.
Like your grandpa going to like, oh, they shouldn't be a part of one of those, one of those commercials. And then just being like, no, no, no, you watch, you just watch the ones you're going to want to put this on, buddy. I love you. Grandpa just [00:16:00] walked into that bitch and then walked through the open door.
Like it was nothing then pretended to happen. And then a woman came over kiss afterwards. You always went to a waterpark that night
being like, so I'm Jared, I'm getting late. Bye. Hope you had a great party. I'm going to go get some sex. And he comes back into fucking cartwheels. Doesn't hit the doors. He does a fucking backflip at 75 for the 75, like Aww, grandpa does statue.
Was he having to be doing cartwheels? How good was that? Buzzy, you can move like you're 25 again. Good. I feel like that would be like a cheat code for the Olympics. You know, just get some pussy beforehand. You're just doing back flips and back backflips. Gold medal. What's your, what's your secret Tucci?
Who would you like to [00:17:00] say for this? I would like to think coochie. You want, you don't want to think your country for giving you that? No. Oh, you mean your country? No, me, I blow coochie. Wait, did I just say me? I speak, I don't speak, speak
shit, but like your thing, like that thing. So it was going to be spoken. Yeah, I'm glad you switched it up because, well, we had the decorations and everything. Like, you know, what's funny. We, the 24 hots what he thought. I still have those decorations in my room right now, but we were talking about it. I got to the hall cans.
I fucking spoiled the hall cans. Then me and your wife started talking about it. And I was like, I'm buying him this. It's a surprise. And really with this Cousy, he knows about the whole case. He doesn't know about the koozie and she just goes, well, now it's gotta be Hoke. Famed. I found all the halt decorations.
[00:18:00] It made me look like I was special.
Like I got a birthday party here this week. It's for my best friend and he's starting 26. It's his 25th birthday party. And it's whole theme there. That is a lot of information all at the same time. So like I had like a child's fucking cake. It was all the Avengers on, it said happy birthday with the fucking whole gun.
Everybody wore shirts. Everyone on board vendors, shirts. Fucking book of stickers that were marvels.
I'm walking around the bar with a fucking whole can. That holds beer.
You get, you can't take that off at all. Oh. And then, and then we proved or. Or abortion a thing, right? Yes. So you, you put a balloon in your belly acting like you're pregnant. I was like, [00:19:00] perfect. I popped that fucking bullet. Yeah. It's super fucked up because we know who was at the party.
I didn't even think about that. If anyone needs to use that business and sorry. No
fucking blow. Um, my hangover lasted two fucking days. Really? Yeah. I felt it like until Monday morning, Monday morning. Oh my God. Wait. That's more than two days. You just have Monday morning, Monday mornings. I stopped. So the last full Saturday full Sutton. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Uh, so there was a live band there.
And my surprise gift was a, a guitar that I asked for on our wedding registry, but never got so thank you to everyone who contributed that. I love it. Um, the funny thing is I'm walking around the fucking bar with whole cans in the guitar. There's [00:20:00] live fucking music going on, and I wanted to go up to this dude with my whole cans on.
How am I guitar and be like, Hey guys, sing a song. I'm special needs. Okay.
Don't be like, anyways, here's wonder what one with my fucking whole cans, trying to not even fucking play. Guitar, right. People start booing you. Hey, fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's my birthday. It's whole date. I started trying to fight people with my whole game. It was one was styled, like foam.
The other deep, the other ones were cloth. Your fist will be taken care of. I'm a fucking plug. I should've bought you that. Fuck. Yeah. Where your fingers go through it and you move it. Like it's a fucking hole. That would be amazing. Fuck the infinity gauntlet. That's the kind of [00:21:00] gift you need. Yeah. So my, my hangover surprisingly, the last one day, especially surprising because, uh, I talked about him at the bachelor party.
My buddy Coleman came over to my apartment afterwards and he bought a whole bottle of wild Turkey. A couple shots not to mention. I had most of a 12 pack of truly at the house and he's like, well, let's shut on a truly. So we do that, that we start drinking. He, um, he makes us a whiskey drink. He pours half the fucking bottle between three cups.
Yeah, it was disgusting. I finished that. I'm blackout drunk. You know me, I don't get blackouts. I did not remember a goddamn thing. Apparently I had this, like, you know, the Trinity thing where it's a bunch of pictures that make a big ass picture. I have one of those. I started ripping one off and trying to swing at the other fucking bakers.
So they fucking took the pictures off the wall because I was not enjoying the view. But then also, uh, you, uh, your wife calls [00:22:00] me at two 30 in the morning and I'm passed out fucking what's that drunk at this point. Cause we'd kill. I killed 12 beers and I mean, you killed a flask full of 107 per bourbon.
And apparently you miss me so much. She had her role. I was like, I want Jeff here. I miss Jeff. He should be here. I was so fucking drunk. I don't remember doing that.
Then I kicked him in the face. So she went to like lay at the foot of the bed to watch Grey's anatomy, fucking dumb show. Um, just, you know, when I'm drunk, my lights kicked. I didn't get, I didn't do it on purpose. I can't control it. Um, but anyhow, moving on, you know, it was a great birthday. Great birthday. I appreciate it, everyone.
Appreciate everyone who gave a gift or contributed. Thank you for getting me the whole cans and making it whole theme. I appreciate it. [00:23:00] Like how excited I was the fact that we were throwing you a whole, like I'm 25. I'm about to be 25 years old. And I threw my in, I helped throw my best rent. A whole Cleaver.
Yes, we are winning life or losing. I can't, I can't decide.
We're fucking winning. Next clip here. We got, uh, what looks to be Jabba the Hutt on Tik TOK. So just looking at the screen here, as you can see, if you're watching on YouTube, this man looked like he got stung by a bunch of BS and he's got the breathing issue to where, you know, people on my 600 pound life.
They're like,
let got to drive through a window. Can I get up tall chase, crispy chicken sandwich, large fry. Sounds like somebody's trying to
[00:24:00] It really doesn't sound like you're fucking getting landscaping done outside your house. Okay. And then apple pie. Don't forget the tokes zero. Oh, oh yeah. Cause that Coke, zero is really going to help you though chest. So someone did a Q and a thing where they asked them, how do you breathe? Here's his answer?
Yeah. Well, when he said it gives him the oxygen, it sounds like you didn't give him enough oxygen to complete that bucket words.
Based on the straining of his voice. I don't think that man's getting enough ox skin or he's getting way too fucking much because he looks like the Michelin man [00:25:00] floated that Thanksgiving day
fucking pillow.
The fucking, my pillow guy is fucking doing right now, trying to assemble all the pillows together to get Donald Trump reelected or put back in there. Well, he's doing crack. You just imagine the, my pillow guy, just smoking crack with putting this fucking, I don't want to say monstrosity, but you know, the Frankenstein, a pillows together.
Yeah. How do you think this guy gets Chloe? How did he think this guy gets clothes made?
I don't know. How does it get close to the underwear dude? Like they don't make, they don't make underwear for a fucking caravan.
Yeah. I imagine it takes the entire sweatshop. Yeah. All right, guys,
that they just use recycled parachutes for military points.
[00:26:00] Good. Do you think this is one of those like really fat dudes that gets like bathed in a trough? Like the other people you think about that? Like his dad sprays him outside with the hose? Yeah. His dad's just like, come on Rick, get uptake. Talk it's time for your hall. And it's her fault. It's that fucking bitches fault.
And this is why we're divorced. Now. This is why we're divorced. Now. She always gave him a book and cookie, I would always say now, and this is, this is this. This is what I get. This is what I get spraying my boy off in the front yard. Hey, are you looking at, fuck you don't fucking look at me going through a lot.
All right. I got to fucking watch this 800 pound man. We gotta get them. McDonald's Mac sauce out between right between the ears. Fuck. Do you get this between you? Go on. Come on Rick. We know you got chocolate fudge between your that's it, the fucking skid [00:27:00] marks that dude leaves his entire mattress as a skid mark.
Oh God. He's probably got an entire double mattress in between his crotch. It's got to smell like ball, sweat and cheese dude. Oh dude. I was light bulb. Totally. I don't have a sheet on it either.
He is a giant fucking bedbug.
He's like, well, I'll call Kiehl's about man. Come on my bed, boy. Go kill. Go get me a double cheese. He keeps losing because fucking Batman just puts poison in the food or something. But you know, he's thinking God for the ox skin, but let's be honest home boy, [00:28:00] fucking God left you a long time ago. Just like the visibility of your Dick.
Oh my masters. You just guys. Two for being like not being able to breathe. Well, the word mask, cause like, like this guy can't breathe, but this guy can't breathe. Fuck. Let's be honest. He's not going outside. He doesn't need to wear a mask. He probably doesn't even know, go for the thing. You have to fucking call AAA to get them out of the house.
I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. So they have to get the fat guy out of the fucking house when it's burning. That's what I assume what happened to this guy? He was in a fucking, I just imagined he'd be a roasted marshmallow. He already looks like a melting ice cream.
God's grace is wearing them with this man. Oh man. What do you think this dude's name it. Oh [00:29:00] no. Steven it's Steven. What fits for everything he does. I mean, you take it. I try to just think of the names I've heard on my 600 pound life. And Steven's a popular one. I think Eric, cause this is what I'm going with.
Oh my God. That's such a fucking air, such a fucking Eric.
My name is Eric. What's your last name? Paul. I'm called Cashman. names this man's got a catch breath in between his fucking names caught my breath. Yeah. Shut the fuck.
Jesus. You know this dude, he does look like he's from Florida. Speaking of which I think it's time for our new segment where me and Jeff debate a topic called to dip shits. And you suggested this one, cause you originally [00:30:00] wanted to make a watch ass my ass, but we couldn't agree on it. We have to debate about it.
Right. It's similar to our ketchup and mustard debate. Um, so Jeff hates the state of Florida, dude. It's just, people are fucking, I'll have my chance. I'll have my chance. You'll have your chance. Um, I say Florida is the best state to on the face of this. It is literally God's down there. God's definition of America.
Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah. Um, so basically we're going to get like, what 90 seconds are we going to actually time this out? Yeah, we can do, we can time, time at 90 seconds, we've got 90 seconds to make our point. And once that 90 seconds is up, you have to shut the fuck up. And then we're going to like you guys on Instagram boat on who wins, we're going to post these as separate.
And you had to pay her. So 90 seconds, do you want to go first? You go first. Okay. [00:31:00] Ready? Yep. No. All right. Listen, Florida is the best state, no state income tax. Pretty big. Hot weather, all the fucking meth you could ask for unlimited entertainment, hot women. I mean like literally you can literally take a boat ride.
You can go ride a jet ski, go swimming, wrestle an alligator, watch crack addict, rip his own fucking balls off so much to fucking do. There's so much to fucking do sand. You can play in the swamp and do it all. What makes it the best? Is the fact that it's basically just a Republican California, like let's be honest.
It's Tampa is basically just LA with a Trump 20, 24 paint job, which is absolutely incredible because instead of like stupid fucking young Tik TOK influences of fat, I mean, so stupid young take talk, influencers, all you get is fat old alcoholic. And, you know, people who just like sit out at the beach and drink all day because they're tired, tired, sorry, almost a retarded, um, [00:32:00] who just yell fucking nonsense at you all day.
Like, Hey,
listen to the fucking AC DC on a fucking boom box radio wall, drink a Budweiser before the fucking high tide comes in. Yeah. And look, you know, you have the best celebrities that live there. You have totally same people. You have whole cogen, Tom cruise, John Travolta, DJ Khalid, Chris Jericho, a real who's who of fucking America?
Maybe 20 years ago, but real spoon time's up buddy? I rest my fucking kid. Fine. Every state should be Florida. All right. I don't feel like I'm gonna have to sensor a lot of this. Yep. This is why Florida. Okay. All the points that you pointed out, this is what makes a Florida terrible. The women, dumbest shit.
You okay? You can be as hot as you want, but if you don't have a brain, she's walking into the ocean getting fucking eight, I'm going swimming, hot weather, terrible [00:33:00] fucking awful, going outside and burning to death, getting melanoma. You really think that's a good idea. You really think that's a good idea.
Positive. Trump. The only reason Trump goes there, because it's the biggest fucking retard state on planet earth, all the retards go there. You move there. If you choose to move to Florida, you are a retard. I do not care. You choose if you're from there. Sorry. I'm sorry about your luck. It's not your fault.
You were born there. You had never left. It's totally fine. If you choose to go and live in Florida, visiting Florida, absolutely wonderful state. Go visit you. Go watch all that shit. But if you live there, you're joining it. And Hulk Hogan racist, Tom cruise, short John Travolta, just because he thinks he hung out with Samuel Jackson and the fucking seventies.
He can use the N word. It's not a Chris Jericho, giant alcoholic. DJ Khalid does not please his wife whatsoever with his mouth. He's a little bitch about that. Um, I mean it's true. Yeah. Yeah. You have fat old alcoholic. But he wouldn't live around that. Do you really want to live around that 24 7? Do you want to be able to walk?
I want to be able to walk into a gas station and be like, you know what? Everything's fine. [00:34:00] Everything's good. I don't have to worry about a crackhead coming up to me asking me for fucking bath salts, dude. We live in Ohio. Yeah. Yeah. But at least in Ohio, nobody fucking knows about it in Florida, Florida, man.
It's fucking everywhere. You see shit about that all the time. Nobody gives a shit about Ohio, but. You make excellent points. I would say that it's better that people know about it in that Florida. Man's a meme because people will just come here like, oh, I hear Cincinnati is a nice area. And then all of a sudden they'll get fucking robbed at a seven 11.
We know it happens. Yeah. But, but you know how much more it happens in Florida than it does and fucking Ohio depends on what part. Yeah. But it's like photos, fucking party, state. Yeah. Florida's party state. I love it. I'm here for it. They're probably fucking God. They're probably don't need each other's fucking dead relatives, ashes, and shit like that.
Trying to get up. We see that, like there isn't a fucking heroin epidemic in Ohio. [00:35:00] Yes. But it's not that known, is it? Yeah. You ever hear about Ohio man? Yeah. No, you don't Ohio is this Everett, Ohio, everybody shits on Ohio for good reason. Everyone sheds in Ohio. So any place sees Ohio. They're like, Hey, you know what?
It's good. What's happening in Florida. It's basically just Ohio with beaches.
I, you know what I love that love Ohio. I love the beaches. We're going to agree to disagree because we're going to, to agree to disagree, but you guys tell us who won this debate. I'm just saying battled alcoholics, you know, Trump 20, 24 make America great. Again again, I'm just saying you can't walk into a gas station without being asked for a hand job in exchange for five bucks.
What's wrong with that? That's just being a good neighbor.
Yeah. That's, you know, gas, the Huff, the gas [00:36:00] over the original snap smell after a little bit. You'll be all right.
All right. So, you know, I think we can both agree though, that Florida is much better than New York. Yes. A hundred percent. I think that's what we agree on. So this, this clip has no audio, so we'll, we'll give you a play by play for the audio. So we're in the New York subway climb off the floor guy, just kind of off the floor.
This janitor is trying to mop the floor and this homeless man starts shitting in his mop bucket. Dude, I love the people were just like, are pointing like, Hey, you better, you better get him. Yeah. And then the janitor goes over to the front of him. And the homeless dude is like, Hey, I'm shitting over here.
And he has, he's like offended. The guy tried to interrupt. Dude just gives up, can he continues taking a shit? And he's like, I'm going to quit my fucking job.
Hang on. Let's go back. Yeah, if you go right here, if you go, if you got like right here, [00:37:00] you see him sit back here. Look right here. He's pissing painting his fucking pants. He's pissing and shitting. Can we just mentioned, I forgot to mention he has got some tits look like those are solid. Look at look at, look at w where are we full screen?
This bitch ass DAS. He's got stain. He's got mommy, Moomoo, milkers. What the fuck? Piss on this shirt before he put it on, probably he's probably sweaty as the Dave Chappelle and say, that's a great pair of New York boots. Damn, but, uh, I wanted to play a song here. Um, can you pull up empire state of mind?
Instrumental? Absolutely. I'll just cut all this part out.
Should've put the link on, but I didn't think about it until now.
[00:38:00] We're kids at the quarter.
Where homeless people just say, fuck.
I wasn't expecting the music
I did so much better. Oh fuck. A New [00:39:00] York shit. Okay. Well, I got to quit for you. Yeah. This is what you can do to this man. On your hands and knees.
Look at me, Griffin. I'm milking me a child move for me.
That's what you're going to do to him. You know, she forgot one step. She was supposed to eat his pussy first
fucking milkers on that dude. Holy shit. So some of the best hits I've ever seen that's for damn sure. But you know, even though he's on the subway, you can definitely tell he's not fucking eating fresh. Yeah. Well, those sounds you can tell this dude needs some fucking Indian food he found in the trash.
She could take him or Charlotte
[00:40:00] I mean, maybe I'm not going to make it to the bathroom. I do not blame the worker here at all, though. He just stands back while this guy makes chocolate milk with a smile in the face he was making. That was a face of orgasmic pleasure as he was shitting in that bucket. He's you guys didn't see it on the audio version obviously.
Cause you're not fucking oh no, I'm stupid, but he's just sitting there like, oh, I'm like, you know, Really fucking pleasing shit. He was having one of those ones where it leaves and you're like, fuck. Yeah, that guy's got a shitty fucking job. It's so funny. It's the same subway. There's God, there's a guy trying to get.
The love of his life, that New York is the perfect place for them. And then she fucking sees this and then breaks the motherfucker's heart. I can totally see it. Come on now. Come on to the city with me. Let's go. Yeah,
[00:41:00] beautiful city. It's the empire state. Yes.
Right there. Suck my Dick in your face.
Yeah. Just does that until he comes, come mushroom kingdom. Did you hear all that named last week? No getting milked in the mushroom kingdom.
I like it. I like it. Yeah. We did confirm that there was no cord like that though. There was no poor, you know, I won't say New York might be still better than China. At least he had the fucking kindness to shit in a bucket and not just on the street, no fence Chinese, but you kind of have a problem there.
The real pandemic is you fucking shitting on the phone streets. Oh man. [00:42:00] Okay. Anything else? No. Uh, let us know if you liked this new format or if you prefer the old one. I kind of like this shorter, quicker. Yeah. That'd be 10 times easier. We're able to do more. Yeah. We're able to keep up with a weekly schedule.
I like it. I think this is awesome. I mean, fuck we were, we've been recording. Maybe 50, 30 minutes. Yeah. Okay. I mean, shit, I'm Jeff. I'm Jared. We're saving the world one episode at a time. And if you don't like that, I'll shove your face in that fucking mop bucket full of shit. All right. We gotta apologize.
Apologize where you do that. We apologize the guys with Jaeger tits, apologize to the Jews and anyone personally that doesn't find world war two, the Holocaust jokes. Funny, sorry. Ben Miller. Your family. Yes. Sorry to people with special needs. For me, trying to impersonate you with whole cancer. I'm very sorry about that.
Uh, sorry to fat people who can't breathe and need ox [00:43:00] skin. Uh, Jared, I'm sorry for, for being right about, I'm not sorry for being right about Florida. We're sorry to the word oxygen. It's this motherfucker can't seem to get it right. I'll skim. Yeah, but by, you know, by the time, by the time he finds out where we live and the, by the time he walks and makes it.
we're going to be like in our thirties. That's what it'll be. It's probably going to have a heart attack. Um, follow me on the internet. Make fun of Eric, honestly.
Honestly, I have the shit we said it's probably not anything mean, or that he's seen on tape and you meet her. The reason that he's been in his bedroom for the last 15 years and stopped going to fucking school
[00:44:00] um, We're sorry, we're sorry in Jared's dad. I don't know why, but I feel like we're gonna have to apologize to you at some point. He probably, sorry. Jared said. Yeah. Okay. Um, all right. I'm Jeff. I'm Jared. And we're saving the world one episode at a time. You don't like that. Well, I'll show you I'll shove your head in a mop bucket full of shit and New York stay tuned for next week when we shoot in a mop bucket in New York.
Yeah. Bang.
