We don’t get stuck because we lack skill; we get stuck because we silence ourselves. Elaine Lin Hering once believed staying quiet kept the peace. But silence has a cost: it shapes who gets heard and who gets overlooked.

While studying power and influence at Harvard Law School and Triad Consulting Group, Elaine realised silence isn’t passive, it’s learned and reinforced. Understanding that gives us the choice to speak with intention.

In this conversation, Elaine joins Kevin to explore how silence derails tough conversations and why reframing “imposter syndrome” as “imposter treatment” changes how we show up.

In this episode, Kevin and Elain will discuss:

(04:27) Leadership, teams and impact

(08:17) It’s okay not to be okay

(10:36) Breaking the silence to communicate clearly

(14:34) How to break out of blame loops

(17:36) Unlearning silence in organisations

(22:41) What do I think and need?

(24:05) Rethinking imposter syndrome

(27:06) Why miscommunication really happens

(33:29) Feedback that fuels growth

(36:26) Communicating across differences

(39:31) Assessments that set you up for success

(41:55) How to structure healthy conversations

(45:33) Best books for self-directed learning

(47:27) How silence affects relationships

Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and author who helps people communicate clearly, navigate conflict, and speak up with confidence. She has worked across six continents with organisations such as Google, Nike, American Express, Pixar, and the Red Cross. Previously, she served as Managing Partner at Triad Consulting Group and taught negotiation.

Connect with Elain:

Elain’s Website: https://elainelinhering.com/

Elain’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainelinhering/ 

Resources Mentioned:

Unlearning Silence by Elaine Lin Hering: https://www.amazon.com/Unlearning-Silence-Speak-Unleash-Talent/dp/0593653602

Verbal Judo by George Thompson:  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Verbal-Judo-Second-Gentle-Persuasion/dp/0062107704 

HBR – Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome: https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome 

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