Is the modern parenting playbook failing us?

In this powerful and thought-provoking episode of UNLOCKED, Krista Franks sits down with psychoanalyst and author Erica Komisar, a bold voice challenging how society is raising its children—and what it’s doing to our mental health.

Erica unpacks the myths we've been sold about motherhood, resilience, and career ambition—and reveals the neurological consequences of early childhood stress, emotional neglect, and fractured family dynamics.

Whether you're a parent, future parent, leader, or simply someone trying to live with more intention, this conversation will shift your perspective—and maybe even change how you live.

Episode Summary

02:45 - Why parents today are exhausted and overwhelmed 
03:13 - The myth of “having it all” and the cost of two full-time jobs 
07:50 - Lifestyle inflation and how children become the collateral 
10:20 - Why you *can* have it all—but not all at once 
14:30 - Erica’s career decisions and choosing work that fits family 
18:45 - Babies are NOT resilient: the science of early brain development 
21:40 - How parenting literally wires the brain—for life 
25:45 - What if I missed the first 3 years? Can you repair it? 
28:20 - What are we *really* aiming for as parents? 
30:25 - The truth behind the “quality time” myth 
34:00 - Defining what it *actually* means to give your kids a good life 
36:15 - Divorce, narcissism, and raising kids in two homes 
40:45 - Erica’s final thoughts on intentional parenting 
42:20 - Where to find Erica and her upcoming work 

About Erica Komisar

Erica Komisar, LCSW is a clinical social worker, psychoanalyst, and parent guidance expert with over 30 years of private practice experience in New York City. A graduate of Georgetown University, Columbia University, and the New York Freudian Society, Erica brings her expertise to parenting workshops across clinics, schools, corporations, and childcare settings.

She is a regular contributor to The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The New York Daily News, and serves as a Contributing Editor at the Institute for Family Studies. Erica also appears regularly on Fox & Friends and Fox 5 News.

She is the author of two books:
 📘 Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters
📘 Chicken Little, The Sky Isn’t Falling: Raising Resilient Adolescents in the New Age of Anxiety

Connect with Erica

Website: https://www.ericakomisar.com/
Erica's Non Profit Organization: https://www.attachmentcircles.org/

Connect with Owl & Key

Grab your copy of the Strategic Planning for Life™ book
Your roadmap to a life by design. Practical guidance, personal stories, and a proven framework to help you reset, realign, and build a life that actually fits.

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Join the community and membership to tap into the ultimate at-your-fingertips, when-you-need-it-most life design resources.

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Unlock growth, performance and wellbeing.

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In this special live conversation, Krista and Phil reflect on a recent moment that tested their philosophy in real time: What if this isn’t happening to you… but for you? They walk through the major transitions happening inside Owl & Key and their family life—from big client changes to launching new brands—and share how they’ve used intention, presence, and partnership to navigate uncertainty and step into what’s next. If you’re in a season of change, this is the reframe you didn’t know you needed.

CONNECT OWL & KEY

Grab a copy of the Strategic Planning for Life book
A perfect gift for yourself or for your growth-oriented friend or family member.

https://a.co/d/g8NBjQb

UNLOCKED Membership for just $1
Join the community and membership for just $1! Tap into the ultimate at-your-fingertips, when-you-need-it-most life design resources.

https://www.owlandkey.co/membership-trial

Level up with a 1:1 Expert Guided Experience
Transform your life faster and with greater levels of success.

https://www.owlandkey.co/coaching

Help your team thrive with our @Work Platform
Unlock growth, performance and wellbeing.

https://www.owlandkey.co/at-work

Are you really tapping into intuition, or are your emotions fooling you?

In this episode, Professor Joel Pearson, leading neuroscientist and researcher, breaks down the real science behind intuition—debunking common myths and revealing how to train your brain for better decision-making.

We dive into:
✅ What intuition actually is (hint: it’s not just a feeling)
✅ When to trust vs. ignore your gut instinct
✅ How emotions like stress, anxiety, and excitement distort intuition
✅ The 5-step "SMILE" framework to sharpen your decision-making
✅ How AI will soon enhance human intuition

Joel has spent a decade studying intuition in the lab, discovering how our unconscious mind influences choices—sometimes for the better, sometimes leading us astray. If you're interested in neuroscience, psychology, or making smarter life choices, this episode is a must-listen.

Listen now & start making better decisions today.

ABOUT PROFESSOR JOEL PEARSON

Professor Joel Pearson is a world-leading neuroscientist, entrepreneur, and expert in human intuition, decision-making, and the science of consciousness. He is the Director of the Future Minds Lab at the University of New South Wales (UNSW) in Sydney, where he leads cutting-edge research on intuition, perception, and mental imagery—helping people and businesses unlock better decision-making strategies.

With a background in neuroscience and psychology, Joel has spent over a decade studying how the brain processes unconscious information, how intuition works, and when we should (and shouldn’t) trust our gut instincts. His work has been featured in Forbes, The Guardian, BBC, and Nature Neuroscience, and he regularly speaks on how scientific intuition can enhance performance in business, leadership, and everyday life.

Joel is also the author of The Intuition Toolkit, where he introduces the SMILE framework, a five-step model to train and refine intuition using neuroscience-backed principles. His expertise has made him a sought-after speaker for Fortune 500 companies, elite athletes, and top executives looking to sharpen their cognitive edge.

Currently, Joel is pioneering new research at the intersection of AI and human intuition, exploring how technology can enhance decision-making and help people navigate an increasingly complex world.

CONNECT WITH JOEL

Website:
https://www.profjoelpearson.com/

The Intuition Toolkit Book:
https://a.co/d/4rs9MEf

CONNECT OWL & KEY

Grab a copy of the Strategic Planning for Life book
A perfect gift for yourself or for your growth-oriented friend or family member.

https://a.co/d/g8NBjQb

UNLOCKED Membership
Join the community and membership to tap into the ultimate at-your-fingertips, when-you-need-it-most life design resources.

https://www.owlandkey.co/membership

Level up with a 1:1 Expert Guided Experience
Transform your life faster and with greater levels of success.

https://www.owlandkey.co/coaching

Help your team thrive with our @Work Platform
Unlock growth, performance and wellbeing.

https://www.owlandkey.co/at-work

In this enlightening episode of UNLOCKED, we're joined by Deb Dana, LCSW, a globally recognized clinician, consultant, and speaker specializing in Polyvagal Theory and its practical applications. Deb unpacks the transformative concept of “glimmers,” small moments of connection and safety, and explains how they can help us move through life’s challenges with greater ease and resilience.

Deb shares profound insights into the science behind glimmers, how they serve as a counterbalance to triggers, and how they can foster creativity, problem-solving, and connection. Together, Krista and Deb explore the importance of nervous system awareness, how glimmers build resilience over time, and the ripple effect they create in relationships, communities, and beyond.

This episode offers a practical guide to anyone looking to move beyond survival mode, embrace intentional living, and unlock the capacity for joy, hope, and meaningful connection.



Key Moments:

00:01:33 – Introduction to Glimmers: Deb explains the science and power behind glimmers as tiny moments of safety and connection.
00:04:35 – Krista’s Snowflake Story: A personal story illustrating how glimmers can shift mental states.
00:08:22 – Glimmers vs. Triggers: Deb explains how glimmers serve as a counterbalance to triggers without bypassing suffering.
00:15:00 – The Nervous System’s Role: Why state drives story, and how glimmers help interrupt survival responses.
00:20:24 – Guided Reflection: Deb leads listeners through a simple exercise to identify and appreciate their own glimmers.
00:27:06 – The Science of Glimmers: Exploring how these moments reshape nervous system pathways and build resilience.
00:39:00 – The Ripple Effect of Glimmers: How sharing glimmers fosters connection and creates collective regulation.
00:46:43 – Practical Steps: Deb outlines how to integrate glimmers into daily life and their potential to change the world one nervous system at a time.



About Deb:
Deb Dana, LCSW, is a renowned clinician, consultant, and speaker specializing in complex trauma and connection. As the leading translator of Dr. Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory, she has made significant contributions to understanding how the nervous system shapes behavior, relationships, and well-being.

A best-selling author of Polyvagal Practices, Polyvagal Card Deck, and The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, among others, Deb’s work has been featured in Oprah Daily, Newsweek, and HuffPost. She has also shared her expertise on Deepak Chopra’s podcast.

Deb trains therapists worldwide and collaborates with organizations to integrate Polyvagal principles into leadership and systems transformation. A founding member of The Polyvagal Institute, she also advises Khiron Clinics and Unyte, helping create environments that foster trust and resilience.



Connect With Deb:
Website: https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/



Connect with Owl & Key:
Website: www.owlandkey.co
Instagram: www.instagram.com/owl_and_key/
Everything Else: linktr.ee/owlandkey

In this episode of UNLOCKED, we’re joined by Jonathan Poma, Founder and Executive Director at Loop, a company recognized as one of Forbes’ Next Billion-Dollar Startups. Formerly the CEO, Jonathan has led Loop through extraordinary growth and transformation. Now, he’s sharing the lessons he learned and how those insights translate into living a more intentional and fulfilling life.

Jonathan dives deep into the principles of intentional leadership, the value of self-awareness, and how to achieve alignment between professional success and personal well-being. Key topics include:

• Building a Strong Foundation: Why leading yourself is the first step to leading others effectively.
• Time Mastery: How to design your life and schedule around what matters most.
• Overcoming Challenges: Using failures and hardships as catalysts for growth.
• Family and Business Balance: Creating intentional systems to thrive in both areas without compromise.
• Practical Tools for Reflection: Leveraging rituals, feedback loops, and mindful practices to grow as a leader and individual.

This conversation is packed with actionable insights for leaders, entrepreneurs, and anyone looking to design a life and career with purpose. If you’re ready to reimagine how you lead and live, don’t miss this episode!



Key Moments

• 00:02:01 – Jonathan's Journey: From entrepreneurship to redefining success and balance.
• 00:05:15 – Intentional Leadership: Leading a business starts with leading yourself.
• 00:16:08 – Breakthrough Moments: The lessons from failed partnerships and big transitions.
• 00:23:43 – The Operating System Metaphor: Upgrading your mental and emotional frameworks.
• 00:33:31 – Building a Life Organization: Aligning personal and professional values for harmony.
• 00:38:28 – Feedback Loops and Growth: Using rituals to strengthen relationships and leadership.
• 00:52:52 – The Value of Time: How Jonathan redefined his relationship with time post-CEO role.
• 01:01:26 – Quiet and Clarity: Cultivating stillness as a leader, parent, and individual.

About Jonathan:
With over 13 years of experience in ecommerce and startups, Jonathan is Founder and Executive Director on the board at Loop, a leading e-commerce returns platform that helps brands create loyal customers and increase retention. Also a member of YPO, a global network of chief executives who share insights and learn from each other. Jonathan is always eager to learn from others, collaborate with diverse teams, and contribute to the community.


Connect With Jonathan:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pomajp/
X: https://x.com/pomajp


Connect with Owl & Key:
Website: www.owlandkey.co
Instagram: www.instagram.com/owl_and_key/
Everything Else: linktr.ee/owlandkey

In this inspiring conversation, Joe DeLoss opens up about navigating life’s twists and turns, sharing his raw, personal journey through big changes and the lessons he’s learned along the way. Whether you’re facing a career shift, grappling with relationships, or just trying to figure out what’s next, this episode offers a relatable and refreshing take on the process of change. Here’s what we dive into:

• The Reality of Change: Joe unpacks the messy, paradoxical, and often beautiful journey of letting go and stepping into something new.
• Unlearning What No Longer Serves You: How to release old habits, identities, and societal definitions of success to rediscover what truly matters.
• Becoming a Wayfinder: Joe shares his approach to navigating uncertainty one small, intentional step at a time, and how you can start your own path forward.
• Why Nature Heals: The surprising way outdoor adventures helped Joe reconnect with himself and find clarity in chaos.
• Serving Through Your Struggles: How Joe’s challenges inspired him to create Baker Road, a space for men to find connection and purpose in nature.

This episode is like a campfire conversation between friends—real, vulnerable, and packed with wisdom for anyone ready to embrace growth and align with what truly matters in life.


Key Moments:

02:51 - Joe’s early relationship with change and the impact of identity shifts
06:48 - Reckoning with rock bottom: When personal pain meets external accountability
11:38 - Realigning purpose and identity: How to start the process of self-awareness
17:29 - The power of unlearning: Letting go of external validation to reconnect with inner values
22:42 - Defining personal success: From external KPIs to meaningful relationships
29:39 - Navigating life’s map: The wayfinding metaphor for embracing the journey
36:25 - Nature as a guide: Lessons from the wild and its transformative role in Joe’s work
43:09 - Creating Baker Road: Purpose-driven adventures for growth and connection
48:36 - Campfire wisdom: Letting go, finding peace, and embracing the abundance of change


About Joe:
Joe is a serial entrepreneur focused on building transformational experiences and businesses that improve the lives of everyone involved. Most recently, Joe exited Hot Chicken Takeover, a fast-casual restaurant chain he built in the Midwest. The business earned critical acclaim as a break-out brand in the segment and created nearly a thousand meaningful work opportunities in the region for people impacted by incarceration, homelessness, and addiction.

Since this acquisition, Joe’s continued his dedication to supportive employment, social entrepreneurship, and vulnerable leadership. And with eyes set on new ventures, Joe’s seizing any opportunity he can get to inspire other entrepreneurs and leaders to make sustainable impact integral to their organization’s future. He honors this pursuit as an advisor, investor, speaker, and occasionally, as a reluctant consultant. His newest project, Baker Road, is an adventure studio offering men and high impact leaders immersive opportunities to learn about themselves in wild, natural environments. 

Joe’s work been highlighted by The Today Show, Forbes, Harvard Business School, Politico, The Rachael Ray Show and many others. He and his family live on a farm in rural Ohio, keeping adventure close in their own backyard.

Connect with Joe:
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/joedeloss/
Baker Road: www.bakerroad.com/

Connect with Owl & Key:
Website: www.owlandkey.co

In this episode of UNLOCKED, we sit down with Parneet Pal, a Harvard- and Columbia-trained physician and founder of Systematically Well Advisory, Inc., to uncover the roots of holistic well-being and the transformative potential of lifestyle medicine. Parneet shares pivotal “crucible moments” that redefined her view on health, shaped by her journey from traditional medicine to a focus on lifestyle, our biology, and planetary health. Through fascinating discussions on resilience, well-being, and leadership in the workplace, she brings actionable insights to balance growth and repair within our bodies and workplaces. Join us as we explore how each choice we make is a step toward building a thriving and healthy life—one that is deeply regenerative for ourselves, our communities, and the planet.


Key Moments:

00:02:01 – Parneet’s Journey: Parneet shares her shift from traditional medicine to lifestyle wellness.

00:08:01 – True Health Defined: Parneet expands on holistic health and the "exposome."

00:15:01 – Homeostasis & Energy: Discussing how cellular energy signals well-being.

00:21:01 – Lifestyle Medicine Basics: Key lifestyle factors for balancing health.

00:28:01 – Nature’s Model: Insights from nature on sustainable well-being.

00:38:01 – Workplace Well-being: Parneet on burnout and productivity in businesses.

00:46:01 – Leadership & Change: How leaders can support team well-being.

00:52:01 – Systematically Well Programs: Overview of Parneet’s wellness programs for teams.

00:56:01 – Closing Reflection: Parneet’s favorite quote on creating a life that fosters life.

About Parneet:
Parneet Pal, MBBS, MS is a Harvard- and Columbia-trained physician-educator who teaches skills and communicates ideas that advance personal, workplace and planetary health.

As the Founder of Systematically Well Advisory Inc., she works with business teams and global organizations to address leadership, performance, wellbeing and sustainability using evidence-based strategies from lifestyle medicine, neuroscience, behavioral science and psychology.

Previously, she designed preventive wellbeing programs for Executive Health (including at the University of California, San Francisco), and led faculty, curriculum and content development as the Chief Science Officer of a health start-up scaling corporate mental wellbeing.

Parneet speaks about the connections between Health, Leadership and Sustainability at global conferences and guest lectures at several universities. She has been a TEDMED scholar, Harvard Business Review contributor and has been featured on the cover of Mindful magazine.


Connect with Parneet:

Website: www.parneetpal.com

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/parneetpal

Instagram: @pal.parneet


Connect with Owl & Key:

Website: www.owlandkey.co

Instagram: www.instagram.com/owl_and_key/

Everything Else: linktr.ee/owlandkey

What if the way you think about money is holding you back from living the life you truly want? In this episode, we challenge the conventional approach to earning and spending by asking, how can you make money work for you, rather than letting it control your choices? Join us as we explore how to build a bridge toward making money in new ways—a critical step for many who feel stuck in their current lifestyle. We dive into the real meaning of success, not measured by the amount you earn, but by how well your financial choices support your life’s values and goals. This episode offers practical guidance on overcoming one of the biggest barriers to change and integrating money into your intentional lifestyle design.


Key Moments:

00:00 - Introduction and Initial Thoughts on Money

02:18 - The Role of Money in Intentional Living

04:43 - Redefining Success: Moving Away from Traditional Narratives

07:09 - The Importance of Financial Freedom and Flexibility

11:49 - Building Financial Awareness: Practical Tips

14:10 - Understanding Income, Expenses, and Financial Systems

16:36 - Navigating Big Life Transitions and Financial Fear

18:56 - Finding Value in Your Skills to Generate Income

23:45 - Avoiding the “Not Enough” Mentality in Financial Growth

28:24 - The Transition Period: One Foot In, One Foot Out

30:42 - Why Creative and Strategic Income is Energizing

35:26 - The Healthcare Barrier: What You Need to Know

37:44 - The Upside of Living Your Life Now, Not Later

44:36 - Practical Tips to Start Generating Income Today

51:19 - Final Thoughts: You’re Multifaceted, and So is Your Potential


Connect with Owl & Key:
Whenever you're ready, there are 4 ways we can help:

Grab Your Book:
Become The Creator Of Your Own Story. Imagine owning a 200-page book with a crystal clear vision for the person you want to become and the life you want to live, captured on the pages of your personal Strategic Plan for Life.

https://a.co/d/hkFfBcF

Strategic Planning For Life™:
The proven operating system used by CEOs, Fortune Companies, Professional Athletes, and people around the world! Start making your moves today!

https://courses.owlandkey.co/offers/updaSQDy/checkout

Owl & Key @ Work:
Created for conscious leaders and their teams, proven to help your employees make a bigger impact on their lives AND your business. Outcomes for everyone from the frontlines to C-suite executives and corporate employees in just 9 weeks.

https://www.owlandkey.co/business-start

Become An Owl & Key Guide:
Owl & Key is on a mission to help people become the best version of themselves, at work and in life. And we’re looking for others passionate about unlocking that potential with us.

https://www.owlandkey.co/guides

In this episode, Lee Povey, a former elite athlete and coach turned high-performance leadership expert, dives deep into the intersection of sports, leadership, and emotional intelligence. Povey shares his personal journey from a turbulent childhood, his rise through competitive cycling, and his transition into coaching Olympic athletes and startup founders. Throughout the conversation, he unpacks critical lessons on self-awareness, emotional mastery, and the importance of trust and failure in leadership. Povey explains how we are shaped by our upbringing but not defined by it, and how leaders can break through their own limitations to empower their teams and themselves. This conversation is a masterclass in how to cultivate an Olympic mindset in business and life.


Key Moments:

[00:00] Introduction – The origins of Lee Povey: from cycling to high-performance coaching.

[05:30] The impact of childhood experiences – How Povey’s relationship with his father shaped his mindset and drive.

[13:10] The transition from sport to business – How Povey brought the lessons from cycling into leadership and coaching.

[20:00] Emotional freezing vs. cognitive lighting up in conflict – Understanding emotional responses in high-pressure situations.

[28:00] The importance of self-awareness – Why recognizing emotional triggers is vital for leaders.

[35:00] Leadership parallels between parenting and coaching – How trust and empowerment are critical for growth.

[42:00] The power of feedback – How to give and receive feedback for maximum effectiveness.

[50:00] Changing programmed behavior – How to shift responses and rewire patterns in leadership and personal life.

[58:30] Key takeaways for leaders – Practical exercises to cultivate self-awareness and improve decision-making.

[01:04:00] Conclusion – Final thoughts from Lee Povey on taking control of your life and choices.


Connect with Lee:

https://www.leepovey.com/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/leepovey/


Connect with Owl & Key:
Whenever you're ready, there are 4 ways we can help:

Grab Your Book:
Become The Creator Of Your Own Story. Imagine owning a 200-page book with a crystal clear vision for the person you want to become and the life you want to live, captured on the pages of your personal Strategic Plan for Life.

https://a.co/d/hkFfBcF

Strategic Planning For Life™:
The proven operating system used by CEOs, Fortune Companies, Professional Athletes, and people around the world! Start making your moves today!

https://courses.owlandkey.co/offers/updaSQDy/checkout

Owl & Key at Work:
Created for conscious leaders and their teams, proven to help your employees make a bigger impact on their lives AND your business. Outcomes for everyone from the frontlines to C-suite executives and corporate employees in just 9 weeks.

https://www.owlandkey.co/business-start

Become An Owl & Key Guide:
Owl & Key is on a mission to help people become the best version of themselves, at work and in life. And we’re looking for others passionate about unlocking that potential with us.

https://www.owlandkey.co/guides

Overview:

In this episode of the Unlocked podcast, Krista and Phil explore the concept of the "echoes of your expression"—how personal expression, whether intentional or unintentional, reverberates through our lives and the lives of those around us.

They're sharing real-life stories that illustrate how small acts of expression, like sharing a professional aspiration or speaking an intention, lead to unexpected and profound outcomes.

Expression is not just a solo endeavor but a collaborative process with the universe, inviting you to take small steps and observe the massive and meaningful impact over time.

Episode Highlights:

• [00:00:03] - Introduction: Introduction to the topic of "echoes of your expression" and the power of expression.
• [00:01:19] - Personal Story: Introduction to how individual expression, when authentic, resonates outwardly, influencing outcomes and inviting collaboration.
• [00:05:07] - Example of Career Change: Story of a group participant who expressed a desire to change roles and quickly secured a new position due to external support, demonstrating the power of speaking intentions aloud.
• [00:12:41] - Co-Creation & Expression: Discussion on how expression invites unexpected feedback, and how navigating unwanted echoes can lead to deeper understanding and refined direction.
• [00:26:52] - Energetic Expression: Exploration of the quiet, internal side of expression through journaling and meditation, leading to synchronicities and unexpected opportunities.
• [00:35:39] - Reflecting on Action: Reflection on how small, consistent actions compound over time, leading to large, often unseen impacts.
• [00:44:34] - Ripple Effect of Expression: The hosts discuss how personal expression can extend far beyond the individual and create a ripple effect that influences others in profound ways.
• [00:50:39] - Real-Life Example: Story of how a single professional presentation created lasting change within an organization, demonstrating the long-term impact of authentic expression.
• [00:53:00] - Closing Thoughts: Final thoughts on the power of throwing the ball (taking action) and being open to how expression and feedback lead to co-creation.

Connect With Us:
Whenever you're ready, there are 4 ways I can help you:

Grab Your Book:
Become The Creator Of Your Own Story. Imagine owning a 200-page book with a crystal clear vision for the person you want to become and the life you want to live, captured on the pages of your personal Strategic Plan for Life.

https://a.co/d/hkFfBcF

Strategic Planning For Life™:
The proven operating system used by CEOs, Fortune Companies, Professional Athletes, and people around the world! Start making your moves today!

https://courses.owlandkey.co/offers/updaSQDy/checkout

Owl & Key at Work:
Created for conscious leaders and their teams, proven to help your employees make a bigger impact on their lives AND your business. Outcomes for everyone from the frontlines to C-suite executives and corporate employees in just 9 weeks.

https://www.owlandkey.co/business-start

Become An Owl & Key Guide:
Owl & Key is on a mission to help people become the best version of themselves, at work and in life. And we’re looking for others passionate about unlocking that potential with us.

https://www.owlandkey.co/guides