Unlocking the Cage

In this week’s movie, Nic Cage, an Irish mobster gone straight, finds out that his daughter has been Taken! Not to be confused with 2012’s Stolen (where he’s  a jewelry thief) or 2011’s Drive Angry (where he’s broken out of literal Hell), this is 2014’s Rage. This slog of an action movie bravely presents bad accents, worse wigs, and truly stinky acting. Comedian comedian Shiyan is here to work through her Rage at having to watch this nonsense.

Our third and final installment from the 90’s Cage action trilogy (AKA the Beige Volvo Trilogy) is non-stop fun, explosions, guitar licks, dumb one-liners, and more than a few problematic bits. Featuring the most jacked Cage to date and possibly the worst accent he’s ever done. Andrew Barlow (@sirbizlow), the host of the Chuckleheads podcast, is this week’s guest.

Cage plays a hitman who goes to Bangkok for four last kills before retirement. Things are complicated when he falls in love with a deaf-mute pharmacist and runs afoul of his bosses. It’s a lot more boring than you might think! Featuring: a lot of elephant symbolism, very hot soup, and exactly one (1) cool action sequence with a boat and a motorcycle. Our guest this week is writer and musician Kenny Gray.

Cage plays twins in 2002’s meta-comedy Adaptation in arguably one of his best-acted roles ever. We like this movie a lot, but how does it rank against our current top three? Danny Prikazsky (from MTV’s Are You The One) is our guest and unfortunately, we’ve given him full access to the soundboard.

Werner Herzog and Cage get “edgy” in this 2009 movie about a Bad Lieutenant doing Bad Things. Is this movie cool and weird or just a Herz-slog? Turn on the iguana cam and grab your lucky crack pipe, because we’re digging into it! Featuring our buddy, Shane Taylor.

This already perfect movie didn’t NEED to put Nic Cage as a hard-boiled 1930’s black and white Spider-Man, but it did and we’re all the better for it. Plus, we do a bracket of Cage Freakouts! Featuring Twitch crafting superstar Alyssa Barrett Jackson (twitch.tv/bettermonster).

Let’s all go back to 1998 and have a good cry with City of Angels, the movie you definitely owned the soundtrack for. We have Meg Ryan’s Maggie, a tortured surgeon who rides Chekov’s bike and doesn’t ask a lot of questions about her mysterious new boyfriend. She falls in love with Cage’s Seth, a hirsute yet childlike angel who only has one outfit, can read all of her thoughts and literally stalks her. This will surely end well! Our guests this week are “guy we know” Dan Slimmon and songwriter and musician Rachel Kiel.

Nic Cage plays a Vegas magician that can see 2 minutes into the future.  A nuke is about to go off in Los Angeles, and the FBI needs his help! If you can get past the creepy romance between Cage (a smarmy weirdo) and Jessica Biel (20 years younger), it’s not NOT an enjoyable movie. Featuring actress and comedian Renie Rivas - check out her podcast Ring Ring! with Renie Rivas.

It’s Valentine’s Day in quarantine, so we’re celebrating by drinking wine and discussing 1987’s Moonstruck with Cage-hater and Cher-devotee Lara Drasin. In this movie, Cher falls in love with a 17 years younger, one-handed, opera loving and tortured Cage. The ensemble cast is great, the one-liners are classic (“Snap out of it!”), and Cage is in rare form - will it beat out Mandy for the top spot in our rankings? Listen and find out!

Is 1994’s It Could Happen To You a cute romantic comedy about a cop winning the lottery, or a tragedy about a woman who just wants to build a nice life with her partner while he has an emotional affair? 2MBStudios’s Lauren Chapman is Team Rosie Perez and honestly, we’re convinced. Also, did you know that there’s a Bollywood musical based on this movie? We’ve got the clips and they are super fun.