Unmuzzled

Listen, you don't want to skip the ad-read this week. You'll swear we're drunk when it starts, but we bring it home strong. Also: if you know the difference between a llama and an alpaca, please email us. God knows we're not gonna give that a Goog.

Cyberpunk
’s Dildo Problems

Illegal Porn (Is that a thing?)

Manic Bitcoin


Sponsor: beanie.at

The Vaccine Trolley Problem

CH*NA

Taksies Backsies

solarwinds123 (all lower case)

Turns out it’s a bad idea to get drunk and use a lathe. Or Facebook. Or upload 16 million people’s health info to GitHub. Plus: Amazon wants to help you track your ex, Elon Musk is still making you look lazy, and Burkett’s brother has a nifty way to get yourself on the sex offender registry for life! In prison, however, you’ll find lots of uses for our wonderful sponsor: theglasststraw.com

This week’s title brought to you by Burkett’s girlfriend, who listened to us ramble about M1 Macs, the App Store getting a little less greedy, and fake nudes for the spoiled broadband brats who don’t appreciate how good they have it.

I wanna stand with you on a mountain. I wanna bathe with you in the sea. I wanna talk about how far I’ll go to see a Savage Garden concert in 2021.

America and AI race cars have things in common this week. Those things are not goddamned mustached bridal veils.

Nokia’s on the moon, Elon targets the International Space Station, the DMCA gets DMCAed, and we get to tell you about something genuinely new on the Internet: www.mirrorworldcreations.com/phone

Burkett gets himself into a tight spot and then Apple, Facebook, and Twitter do the same. Plus an introduction to #sitnikFriday, the cure for American puritanicalism.

Brian Burkett reveals he’s been interviewed about his Dark Web activities by the Department of Homeland Security. Brought to you by absolutely nobody because our crack advertising manager still hasn’t landed Squarespace.

We update the Turing Test for the 21st century and my Wirecutter-recommended washing machine tries to escape. Brought to you by Sylvain Bauvais, the only web developer better than Brian Burkett (probably).