“They [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.” - Stacey Uhrig

EPISODE SUMMARY:

In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face. 

Stacey discussed her experiences raising two boys adopted from Korea and the significant insights she gained about trauma, attachment, and the impact of early disruptions in a child's life. We explored the importance of understanding the emotional wounds that children may carry from their past experiences, even before they come into our homes.

Throughout our conversation, we highlighted the need for adoptive parents to do their own emotional work in order to better support their children. Stacey shared valuable resources, including her own ebook, What is Trauma Really?, and her podcast, Flip Your Mindset, both of which aim to educate and empower those affected by adoption.

 We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding trauma and the importance of approaching parenting with empathy and an open mind. This episode serves as a reminder that understanding adoption trauma is crucial for creating a nurturing environment for our children. I hope this conversation resonates with adoptive parents and encourages them to seek knowledge and support in their parenting journey.

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RESOURCES:

Stacey’s contact information:

• Look up Stacey’s website: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/

• Hear Stacey’s podcast: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/podcast

• Find Stacey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flipyourmindsetpodcast/

• Download Staceys’ FREE e-book What Is Trauma Really?: https://flip-your-mindset.ck.page/20d3e76a8d

Other resources mentioned in this episode:

• Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction by Sharon Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency/dp/1785928236/

Other Resources:

• APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude

• Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com

• Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/

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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson

Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao

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TIME STAMPS:

00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Cyberson and guest Stacey Uhrig.

00:01:00 - Stacey's Adoption Journey Stacey shares her path to adoption through infertility and decision-making.

00:03:30 - Challenges in Adoption Discussion on the challenges faced, including school difficulties and a brain injury.

00:06:00 - Understanding Adoption Trauma Stacey reflects on the concept of the primal wound and its implications.

00:08:30 - Lack of Resources The struggle to find support and resources for adoptive parents.

00:10:30 - Importance of Education The need for better preparation for adoptive parents regarding challenges.

00:12:30 - Personal Growth How learning about trauma provided Stacey with grace in her parenting.

00:15:00 - Impact of Early Experiences Effects of early attachment disruptions on adopted children.

00:18:00 - Parental Responsibility The role of adoptive parents in understanding and healing trauma.

00:21:00 - Coaching Approach Stacey explains her coaching methods for adoptive parents.

00:24:00 - Nature of Trauma Exploration of trauma's meaning and effects on children.

00:27:00 - Self-Reflection for Parents Encouragement for parents to do their own emotional work.

00:30:00 - Work with Adoptees Stacey discusses her methods for working with adoptees.

00:33:00 - Conclusion and Resources Wrap-up and sharing of Stacey's website and podcast for further resources.