Remember the other important relationship in your life? The person you decided to build a life with? Parent alongside, for better and for worse? 

After kids arrive and take over your lives, it can suddenly feel more like you’re angry co-workers at a 24/7 daycare. That part gets better with time. But experts say we need to nurture our marriages along with our children, so there’s an “us” left when the kids leave home. 

Reconnecting with our partners takes focus, and planning ahead, and getting intentional– but it’s also totally possible. In this episode Molly and Blaire talk about how it’s working for them– and interview two very special guests: their husbands! 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Christina Caron for NY Times: How To Reconnect With Your Partner After Having Kids

Motherhood Sessions podcast

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day! Get a one-year supply of Vitamin D plus 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Peloton has thousands of workouts on their app for every goal, day, and mood! We're fans of the yoga, meditation, and dance cardio, but there's truly something for everyone. Learn more: onepeloton.com.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ever find yourself saying the same thing over and over to your kids? The answer isn’t to yell louder, as tempting as that can be. It might be more effective to consider the true capabilities of our kids at the stages they are at, and look at whether it might be our expectations that need a slight adjustment. Once you’ve done that? You’re a “gentle parent.”

Sarah Ockwell-Smith, parenting expert and author of The Gentle Parenting Book, sums up gentle parenting in three words: empathy, understanding, and respect. But gentle parenting isn’t pushover parenting. Discipline is still possible– it’s just focused on lessons to be learned more than on punishments. It’s about shutting off our autopilot as parents and beginning a practice of remembering that a child is a child.

In this episode we discuss

How to set boundaries in this new paradigm (yes, still possible)

How to model the behavior we want our kids to learn

How gentle parenting helps our kids learn emotional maturity sooner.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Sarah Ockwell-Smith: Five Steps To Effective Discipline

Renee Plant for Very Well Family: What Is Gentle Parenting? 

Natalia Oliver for Guidepost Montessori: A Beginner’s Guide To Gentle Parenting

Vicky McKeever for CNBC: This ‘gentle parenting’ guru gives her tips for raising confident kids

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day! Get a one-year supply of Vitamin D plus 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Peloton has thousands of workouts on their app for every goal, day, and mood! We're fans of the yoga, meditation, and dance cardio, but there's truly something for everyone. Learn more: onepeloton.com.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kids today only spend half as much time playing outside as we did. It can be a hassle to get them bundled up and to the playground on a drizzly spring afternoon– or to clean half the floors in your house after a trip to your own snowy backyard. But there are many skills that kids gain both from self-directed and “purposeful play,” and experts say that's particularly true when that play happens outdoors.

Our guest Meghan Fitzgerald is the co-founder of Tinkergarten, which offers purposeful play opportunities for children and families that gets them away from screens and outdoors together in nature. Meghan tells us her favorite get-them-outside activities, and why even the coldest or rainiest days offer rewards that really are worth bundling everyone up. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/11/04/parenting/kids-winter-play-outside.html

https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/parenting/viking-parenting-childhood-risk-fresh-air-mental-health/?fbclid=IwAR2sM-84dC7xYVEmyMLjKG7ijFQCm2QiIQOr1AZoPJpDTfFZm-mXVeRG2No

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/6-reasons-children-need-to-play-outside-2018052213880

And our episode "Danger Babies": https://www.toddlerpurgatory.com/danger-babies-why-are-some-kids-such-risk-takers/

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day! Get a one-year supply of Vitamin D plus 5 free travel packs at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more built on organic fruits and vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Peloton has thousands of workouts on their app for every goal, day, and mood! We're fans of the yoga, meditation, and dance cardio, but there's truly something for everyone. Learn more: onepeloton.com.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Finding our balance as working parents is a double challenge. It's not just about being a great parent while maintaining a job; it's about being great at that job while also being a parent.

In this episode, we discuss:

scheduling our time so we have time for work, parenting, and "non-mom stuff"

creating systems for "pain points"

finding the optimal amount of childcare support

managing our own expectations as well as we manage the expectations of others

We also refer to statistics from this PDF: Bureau of Labor Statistics: Employment Characteristics of Families- 2020

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits + vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

Peloton has thousands of workouts for every goal, day, and mood. Try the Peloton App free for 2 months! Go to onepeloton.com/app by January 31, 2022. Terms apply.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're all muddling through right now, and while we are definitely Team Lowered Standards at this time, there's only so many viewings of Encanto a parent can withstand. Here are some easy, fun ways to change things up around the house and keep things fun. From cleanup races to "spooky baths," our listeners have some great ideas, and in this episode we discuss them all!

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits + vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

Peloton has thousands of workouts for every goal, day, and mood. Try the Peloton App free for 2 months! Go to onepeloton.com/app by January 31, 2022. Terms apply.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes little kids lack the ability to express their frustration, fear, and anger in words. That’s usually when they decide to whack the other 3-year-old with the toy dump truck, instead of pleasantly sharing. 

Experts say aggression often gets a little better once kids can express themselves verbally– although not always, if what goes on in our houses is any indication. 

In this episode we discuss how to handle our kids becoming aggressive when we’re there to witness it, when we’re *not* there to witness it (like at preschool), and what clear, consistent messaging we need to model to move things in a more peaceful direction. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Emily Fromm and Nicole Harris for Parents: How to Handle Aggressive Toddler Behavior

Emily Edlynn, Ph.D for Parents: My Child Won't Stop Hitting Other Children at Daycare

Laura Markham for Psychology Today: 10 Steps to Stop Your Child from Hitting Other Kids

Special thanks to this month's sponsors:

Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com to learn more.

Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.

Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order. 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you filled out our listener survey? Help us bring you sponsors you'll love! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey

Temper tantrums are the way that young children express emotions they are not developmentally able to express in other ways. Does knowing that the kicking and screaming is completely developmentally appropriate make it any easier for parents to deal with? Sometimes. 

In this episode, we discuss the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, what the most common tantrum triggers are, and the most helpful ways for us to react when our little ones are going Full Ham Freakout. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we mention in this episode: 

Stanford Children’s Health: Temper Tantrums

Sarah and Larry Nannery for Psychology Today: What Is the Difference Between a Meltdown and a Tantrum?

Shaun Dreisbach for Parents: How to Deal with Toddler Temper Tantrums

Special thanks to our sponsors for this month:

Athletic Greens supports your sleep quality, energy, immune system and more with just one scoop per day. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D and 5 free travel packs with your first purchase at athleticgreens.com/laughing.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits + vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box!

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

Peloton has thousands of workouts for every goal, day, and mood. Try the Peloton App free for 2 months! Go to onepeloton.com/app by January 31, 2022. Terms apply.

Snow Days taste like the pizza bites we remember eating as kids, but without the junk! Use promo code TODDLER to save $15 off your first order at www.snowdays.com/TODDLER.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-care can sound like another chore. Seriously, who has time for a bubble bath? And is that really the best use of 20 free minutes, assuming we had them? 

But as Haley Jena points out in this article for What To Expect, self-care isn’t selfish. It's what we need in order to keep going as parents. It's not optional.

In this episode, we discuss what definitely doesn’t work for us, what kind of does, and what we’re going to start (like reading actual books and not just our phones). 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Moira Lawler for Everyday Health: What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important To Your Health? 

Forbes: Practicing Self-Care Is Important: 10 Easy Habits To Get You Started

Haley Jena for What To Expect: 19 Self-Care Ideas for Moms That Aren't Just 'Take a Shower'

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

Outschool's fun online classes help kids get excited about learning. To save $15 off your child's first class, go to outschool.com/toddler and use the code TODDLER.

Daily Harvest delivers delicious harvest bowls, flatbreads, smoothies, and more, all built on organic fruits + vegetables. Go to dailyharvest.com/laughing to get up to $40 off your first box! 

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey

“Making memories” with our kids is always a fraught proposition, but when they’re checking for the elf every morning and whipped into a general holiday frenzy, the tears and tantrums are often pretty close to the surface. 

Child specialist Merete Kropp says we can reset the “gimme gimmes” by teaching our kids that giving and receiving are reciprocal actions. By explain the gifts you’re giving to others, and the intentions behind them, kids can focus more on the joy of giving than their own expectations. At least sometimes. 

It’s always worth doing what we can to soften into the joys of karaoke Christmas carols and driving around looking at the lights. When we create memories with our children, the true gifts we are giving them are the tools to become who they are. There is so much fun and joy in the surrender of being just a little bit silly.

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Merete Kropp for Washington Post On Parenting: What children need even more than presents this holiday season

Samantha Parent Walravens for HuffPost: 8 Ways To Teach Your Kids An Attitude Of Gratitude This Holiday Season

@busytoddler on Instagram

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

KiwiCo is the perfect kids' gift this holiday season– a fun, hands-on educational experience. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with the code LAUGHING at kiwico.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have more than one kid, you are pretty familiar with sibling rivalry. The constant squabbling can drive us nuts, but it’s important to remember that it’s less about whatever toy they’re fighting over at the moment than about birth order, family dynamics, and their competing desires for our attention.

We can’t stop the bickering forever, but there are ways to minimize conflict and maximize productive resolution. We discuss the best ways to set our kids up for success. 

Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: 

Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials: 10 Tips For Dealing With Sibling Rivalry

Ask Dr. Sears: Sibling Rivalry: 20 Tips to Stop the Friction

Special thanks to our sponsors:

Hey Honey is the first complete skin care line infused with Honey and Bee Propolis. Get 20% off your first order by going to heyhoney.com and using code FRESH at checkout.

Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.

Betterhelp Start taking charge of your mental health– no matter where you live! Go to betterhelp.com/laughing to get 10% off your first month of counseling.

Once Upon a Farm fruit and vegetable blends are made with whole, organic, farm-fresh ingredients and packaged in grab-and-go pouches. Go to onceuponafarmorganics.com and use the code LAUGHING for 25% off your first order.

KiwiCo is the perfect kids' gift this holiday season– a fun, hands-on educational experience. Get 50% off your first month plus free shipping on any crate line with the code LAUGHING at kiwico.com.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices