Mitch visits the venerated interlocutor at the legendary cat ranch one last time and uncovers a horrific secret.

Endnotes:

1. Milton Berle (with Haskel Frankel), An Autobiography (New York, Delacorte Press, 1974) p.35. Capsule Review: Starts with a salacious story about an affair with an ingenue engaged to a studio boss. He starts alluding to the enormity of his phallus by page 12. Lots of score-settling for his perceived detractors and praise for his friends and heroes. The basic rags-to-riches arc growing up on the streets of NY in the waning days of Vaudeville and getting in early on the rise of Hollywood. Slack Score: 6; Snark Score: 11; Overall FCA ranking: 25
2. Joseph Grimaldi, Memoirs of Joseph Grimaldi (as edited by “Boz,” aka Charles Dickens, 1838; modern ed. London: Folio Society, 2014) p.v. Capsule Review: The granddaddy of sad clowns and self-inflicted pratfalls, dictated while the author’s spine was literally collapsing. The laughs are dated, but the theme of comedy as an anesthetic for despair remains timeless. Slack Score: –12; Snark Score: 5; Overall FCA ranking: 23
3. Juvenal, The Sixteen Satires (London, Folio Society, 2014) Satire XI, p.99. Capsule Review: a cranky Roman complaining about open mics and bad audiences. His shot at Herodes Atticus is basically “Nice mansion, shame about your morals.” Proof that even under a dictatorship, comics still found time to roast the rich and moralize. Slack Score: 0; Snark Score: 13; Overall FCA ranking: 137
4. Rodney Dangerfield, It’s Not Easy Being Me; A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs (New York, Harper-Collins, 2004) p.264. Capsule Review: A surprisingly tragic chronicle of the everyman philosopher. Between punchlines, many drawn from the act, Dangerfield reveals a life of deep and genuine insecurity. Slack Score: –4; Snark Score: 7.2; Overall FCA ranking: 32
5. Cameron Esposito, Save Yourself (New York, Grand Central Publishing, 2020) p.219 (she’s actually quoting or paraphrasing something Maria Bamford told her). Capsule Review: Earnest, funny, occasionally poignant coming-of-age story with a soupçon of stand-up autobiography mixed in. Esposito dissects Catholic guilt, gender performance, and comedy careerism with much self-awareness. Slack Score: 1; Snark Score: 10 (mostly self-directed); Overall FCA ranking: 122
6. Dick Gregory, N****r (New York, Penguin, 1964) p.223. Capsule Review: Part comedian memoir, part activist manifesto. The writing is good, sometimes contentious (the fight with his wife after their son’s death is oddly disturbing). Largely about the  civil rights movement, working with Edgar Mevers, MLK, marches, and funerals. researching older comedians at the library and digging into musty old books of humour. Slack Score: –12; Snark Score: 3; Overall FCA ranking: 27
7. Iliza Shlesinger, Girl Logic; the Genius and the Absurdity; (New York, Weinstein/Hachette, 2017) p.22; Capsule Review: The basic thesis here is that overthinking is the natural state of the female as opposed to the simplicity of the male and works as a survival mechanism rather than a flaw, with occasional lapses into self-help. As with her on stage persona, mildly amusing and working too hard to pass off generalizations as provocative insight. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking: 229
8. Marc Maron, Attempting Normal (Los Angeles, Delusions, Inc., 2013) p.75. Capsule Review: Written after he seemingly found a place in the comedy community but prior to achieving real cultural ascendancy, Maron here is still very much a work in progress, professionally and psychologically. The man knows how to turn a phrase, and knows his strength is radical honesty, but I could’ve done without the dozen or so masturbation anecdotes. Every page confirms that introspection is both his brand and his addiction. Slack Score: –2; Snark Score:

Mitch holes up in a private gym for two weeks with his newly acquired sidekick slash personal trainer Andy Richter to transform himself into a muscle-bound caped detective.

Endnotes:

1. Louie Anderson, Hi Mom: Stories for My Mother, But You Can Read Them Too (Touchstone Books, New York, 2018) p. ; Capsule Summary: Continuing the Hi Dad formula, a series of letters to the deceased matriarch of the Anderson clan. Thankfully, less traumatized and more jovial than the earlier book, but still weighted down by the plodding conceit. Most interesting aspect is the creation of Christine Baskets as a tribute to his mom and a poignant third (fourth? fifth?) act in a long and varied career. Side note: the hardest I have ever laughed was watching Louie Anderson live at the Paramount Theatre in 1991 with my father. He did a bit about stubbing his toe that had both of us gasping for air and literally falling out of our seats. Cara and I also saw him deliver the JFL keynote address in 2019 afterwhich he posed for selfies with us and was very comforting regarding our recently deceased cat Carl. His books are more therapeutic than hilarious, but he’ll always have a very warm place in my heart. Slack Score: 2; Snark Score: 7; Overall FCA ranking: 176
2. Zarna Garg, This American Woman; A One-in-a-Billiion Memoir (Ballantine, New York, 2025) p.227; Capsule Summary: A comedian origin story very much unlike any other. Garg didn’t grow up dreaming of being Joan Rivers or anything like that, in fact, she seems to have barely understood that stand up comedy existed before her daughter essentially dared her into it, following a string of entrepreneurial failures. Hers is a story of brutal impoverishment and hardship as a homeless youth on the streets of Mumbai and extraordinary wealth and privilege at various other times of her life. Like her hero and champion Kevin Hart, she is unabashedly ambitious and driven by financial rapacity. I don’t love that, and her prolonged tales of frustration with her children’s $100,000/year elementary school education were not something I  found very relatable. Nevertheless, she is a talented writer and a funny human, and occupies a unique cultural perspective in the world of stand up, which is invaluable and her daughter apparently truly cares for her more than any teenager has ever cared for a parent, so that says everything you need to know about her value as a human. Slack Score: -7; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking: 115
3. Trrevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood (One World, New York, 2016) p. 43; Capsule Summary: Regardless of your opinion of Noah as a stand up or Daily Show host (pretty mid on both fronts as far as I’m concerned) there’s no question that this is a top tier FCB. Noah’s story of growing up in South Africa semi-secretly (see the title) is riveting, wryly engaging, and tremendously moving, especially the last chapter on his mother. ; Slack Score: -9; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 8

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Live recording of Mitch performing at Zingers, in Sheboygan Wisconsin, on the anniversary of his father's death.

Mitch makes the rounds of all the popular late night chat shows.

Endnotes:

1. “Marlon Bundo” with Jill Twiss, A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo (Chronicle Books, San Francisco, 2018) An audacious statement on societal inclusivity,  employing a metaphorical layering akin to the works of postmodern deconstructionists, a critique of the infantilization of the literary world. Slack Score: 11; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 71
2. Jimmy Fallon, Your Babies First Word Will be Dada (Feiwel and Friends, New York, 2015) A deconstruction of phonetics, subverting language  into a world where meaning is elusive and language is presented as a fragmented system. The seemingly chaotic string of sounds presented as the child’s first words parallels the avant-garde's challenge to linguistic precision.  Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 2; Overall FCA ranking: 43
3. Seth Myers, I’m Not Scared, You’re Scared (Flamingo Books, New York, 2022) A navigation of the disorienting terrain of self-perception, the dialogue itself oscillates between a strange, almost surreal repetition of thoughts, as though the characters are trapped in a loop of denial and confrontation — much like the cyclical nature of fear itself. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 12.5; Overall FCA ranking: 169
4. Stephen Colbert, I Am A Pole (and So Can You), (Spartina, New York, 2012)  In this surrealist work, the reader is asked to engage in an almost Sisyphean act of identification: the protagonist, a figure who, through sheer assertion, becomes a "Pole,"  Through a chaotic blend of humor and paradox, I’m a Pole (and So Can You!) disrupts the reader’s expectations, presenting identity not as a fact but as an ever-shifting, often absurd construct. Slack Score: 13; Snark Score: 14; Overall FCA ranking: 78
5. Jimmy Kimmel, The Serious Goose, (Random House, New York, 2019) The progressive, almost hypnotic attempts by the reader (or rather, the characters in the book) to force the goose to smile mirror the struggle between the human desire for emotional expression and the societal pressures to remain “serious."  Slack Score: 2; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 36
6. Amber Ruffin, Sidney the Squirrel Doesn’t Fit In (Brightstar Tales, Oklahoma City, 2025) The acorn, traditionally a symbol of growth and potential, is something Sidney is unable to "digest" in the same way as his peers. The “tree of conformity” where all other squirrels gather confines Sidney’s sense of self. His inability to fit in is not merely a social issue, but a philosophical one: is the need to fit in an authentic desire or an imposition of artificial conformity? Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 11; Overall FCA ranking: 57
7. Conan O’Brien,Floyd the Flamingo Who Couldn't Stop Dancing, (Sprinklewood Press, Modesto, 2026) Floyd’s dance becomes both a figurative “dance of death,” as he can never escape the invisible chains of social approval.  O'Brien challenges the reader to reconsider the true cost of “fitting in” and whether perpetual performance is a path to freedom or a cage of self-doubt. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 9.5; Overall FCA ranking: 110
8. Jon Stewart, Naked Pictures of Famous People (Harper-Collins, New York, 1998)  Stewart’s manipulation of famous historical and pop culture figures often distances them from their real-world counterparts, forcing readers to confront the notion that fame itself is a form of performance, a simulation of identity rather than an expression of authentic selfhood. Slack Score: 12.5; Snark Score: 15; Overall FCA ranking: 24

Under interrogation by the League of Acolytes for Televisual Emcees and Raconteurs, Mitch finally comes clean about what went down on the SS Mayhem at the afterparty to end all afterparties.

Endnotes:

1. Mike Myers, Canada (Canada, Doubleday Canada, 2016) p207. Capsule Review: Barely a memoir, more a celebration of Canadianness, Myers must be among the most patriotic citizens of the largely unenthusiastic (in my experience) nation. Lots of semi-interesting trivia and observations for southern Ontario residents and enthusiasts. Relevant information about Myer’s career exposes a ridiculous amount of privilege and fortune, which is reasonably acknowledged but not examined critically. Myers easy confidence/sense of entitlement seems to have played a significant part of his overall trajectory. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 9.3; Overall FCA ranking: 84
2. Richard Pryor, Pryor Convictions; and Other Life Sentences; The Official Autobiography (Los Angeles, Pantheon, 1997) p.97 Capsule Review: One of the most tragic/upsetting of all FCAs, much of the story has been told in bits and pieces either in standup sets or Jo Jo Dancer, and the written word doesn’t quite convey the conflicted nuance of Pryor’s voice. Nonetheless, a traumatic moving confessional. Interjections by Mudbone provide a welcome alterity and distancing from the heartbreak of the main narrative and a poetic flourish I didn’t expect going in** Slack Score: -15; Snark Score: 4; Overall FCA ranking: 5
3. Tom Shales & James Andrew Miller, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live (New York, Little, Brown and Company, 2014) p16; (see original citation for Chapter 11)
4. Dick Ebersol, From Saturday Night to Sunday Night (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2022) p.98. Capsule Review: I only read through the SNL relevant sections, so can’t comment on the whole Ebersol enchilada, but he’s not a comedian by any measure so it’s outside of the scope of this project. Writing is just so-so. He’s clearly just trying to get his side of the story out there, probably takes a bit too much credit or deflects blame when possible. 
5. Doug Hill & Jeff Weingrad, Saturday Night: A Backstage History of Saturday Night Live (San Francisco, Unread Reads, 1986) p.511 (general anecdote widely repeated) Earlier, much more compelling behind-the-scenes story of The Show’s  inception until the return of Lorne Michaels creation and first decade than the more wide-ranging oral history by Shales and Miller. Not technically an FCA, so no rankings given.

Mitch begins his comeback tour by playing the MAXXED ULTRA Testosta-boosted Dude-fuel 2026 Gathering of the Q-uggalos, an off-the-grid militant hillbilly shock comedy festival at Stone Mountain  Park, Georgia, but his set gets interrupted by a mysterious bag-headed interloper and the festival itself erupts in chaos and destruction when mysterious unknown invaders descend over the festival grounds.

Endnotes:

1. Phyllis DIller (with Richard Buskin), Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse; My Life in Comedy (New York, Penguin, 2005) p.225-244 (Chapter 10:”A Change of Face”) Capsule Review: Diller forged a career from almost nothing, with arguably less social advantage than her peer-contemporaries such as Joan Rivers or even Moms Mabley. There’s plenty of self-deprecation, or perhaps self-loathing, on display throughout, although once her will to self-actualization clicked into place she let no one stand in her way. There is some dated racial humor that doesn’t play very well, of course, and times when her ambition eclipses her affection for friends and family, such as the occasion when she ditched her 3rd husband/love-of-her-life on his proverbial death-bed so she could make a gig, that make her less than sympathetic. But she had to be tough to make it in the biz, at least that’s how she saw it. Slack Score: -9; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking: 39
2. Jeff Dunham, All by my Selves; Walter, Peanut, Achmed and me (New York, Penguin, 2010) p5 Capsule Review: pretty innocuous, bordering on vapid, story of an average kid who gets into an unusual hobby early and sticks with it obsessively until he manages to become rich and famous from it. Not much in the way of drama, he really stretches to make his minor “controversies” sound serious. The most unusual/interesting aspect is that he gives his characters little sections to speak for themselves, but as anyone who’s seen his act knows, they’re not very interesting either, and painfully unfunny. Slack Score: 7.5; Snark Score: 1; Overall FCA ranking: 611
3. Roseanne Barr, Roseannearchy; Dispatches from trhe Nut Farm (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2011) p80 Capsule Review: an all-over-the-place collection of essays and reminiscences, sometimes baffling, sometimes banal. She’s still a pretty decent writer, and certain passages are pretty compelling, but the lack of focus and inherent contradictions make it difficult to stay with her. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA ranking: 185
4. Lewis Black, Me of Little Faith (New York, Penguin, 2008) p.57 Capsule Review: More a series of comedic essays on religion/faith than a memoir, there’s enough autobio here for me to rank it as an FCA, but not too highly. Definitely benefits from the audiobook presentation as 90% of Black’s humor comes from his quavering, angry inflection. Somewhat inconsistent on where he actually lands on his personal faith. He criticizes atheists as having a worthless, miserable existence but also claims to be the least religious person alive. Likewise he constantly identifies himself as Jewish while also claiming to have no personal connection to the faith or the culture. The arguments shift, in other words, to fit the jokey jag of the passage, which is fine, just not a lot of depth or consistency here. Slack Score: 5; Snark Score: 14; Overall FCA ranking: 413

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Mitch finds himself in a toxic underground cavern in the captivity of a contingent of cryptozoological curiosities. Will he be able to escape his imprisonment? Will he be reunited with his affable Swedish chauffeur Leif? Will we ever get back to the lurid showbusiness tell-all we were promised? 

Endnotes:

1. Russell Brand, My Bookie Wook; A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up (New York, HarperCollins, 2009) p.122. Capsule Review: Like Brand as a performer, the linguistic highbrow/lowbrow seesaw schtick goes from highly impressive to grating pretty quickly, especially in regards to the proud tales of sexual exploits that in retrospect read more like the confessions of a predator. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 12.7; Overall FCA ranking: 327
2. Miranda Sings (aka Colleen Bollinger), My Diarrhe (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2018) p.123 Capsule Review: one of the most poorly written of any of the FCBs I’ve ever read, just from the perspective of grammer and spelling, although I guess she deserves some credit for writing it all out by hand. Completely unhinged account of the bewildering rise of the Miranda Sings character among the middle school set, bubbling under the surface with insecurities and inability to tolerate criticism even when in jest and from ifiteen year olds. Instead of an honest account, she maintains the Miranda persona throughout, a narrative conceit I have trouble stomaching. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 1.5; Overall FCA Ranking: 451
3. Russell Brand, Bookie Wook 2: This Time it’s Personal (New York, HarperCollins, 2010) p196 Capsule Review: The first one must have sold well, as this ostensible sequel was pushed out exactly one year later. As might be expected, this is a case of diminishing returns, with most of the primo bibliographical tales already mined, Brand is forced to spend more time pontificating on his nascent psuedo-philosophic concepts and anti-political posturing laying the groundwork for his coming devolution. This time around he’s sober, and has moved from burgeoning, quirky personality to full-blown pop star marrying and quickly divorcing A (or maybe A- to B) lister. Even though the hard drugs are gone, the obsession with sex is in full effect, and there are several troubling passages, and a lengthy exploration of one particularly upsetting episode that foreshadow scandalous revelations to come. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 6.5; Overall FCA ranking: 552

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Mitch takes a BM (Big Meeting) with a streaming concern called Drivvel+ to discuss a new so-called reality series.

Endnotes:

1. Maria Bamford, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere (New York, Galery Books, 2023) p.7 Capsule Review: A quirky yet charming look on mental illness. By cults, Bamford is mostly referring to family and 12-step programs, but like Nancherla, below, she’s not afraid of drifting off topic. Not quite the tour-de-force I hoped for, perhaps my expectations were too high. Slack Score: -4; Snark Score: 5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 95
2. Gary Gulman, Misfit; Growing Up Akward in the ’80’s (New York, Flatiron Books, 2023) p.283 Capsule Review: An offbeat but witty peak at depression. The spin here is it’s a (more or less) year-by-year chronicle of Gulman’s public K-12 school years, mostly focussing on one core story or theme for that year and interspersed with almost contemporary interstitial journal entrys to set up or contrast the childhood stuff. Very well written, of course, bordering on overly, which sometimes gets in the way of getting inside the head of an inarticulate pre-teen and definitely makes you question how accurate the anecdotes could be. Slack Score: 9; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 117
3. Aparna Nancherla, Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome (New York, Viking, 2023) p.18  Capsule Review: A peculiar but engaging examination of imposter syndrome. Starts off as semi-clinical investigation into the titular syndrome but ends up being a hodge podge of personal essays and confessions, mullings on social media, the trickiness of political correctness and procrastination.  Slack Score:  -6; Snark Score: 5.2 ; Overall FCA ranking: 142 

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Mitch takes a much needed sabbatical in Sumatra, far from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and the long arm of Interpol, to live among and learn from the beasts of the jungle in his everlasting search for comedic inspiration.

Endnotes:

1. Dick Ebersol, From Saturday Night to Sunday Night (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2022) p.98. I only read through the 8H relevant sections, so can’t comment on the whole Ebersol enchilada, but he’s not a comedian by any measure so it’s outside of the scope of this project. Writing is just so-so. He’s clearly just trying to get his side of the story out there, probably takes a bit too much credit or deflects blame when possible 
2. Julia Sweeney, If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother (New York, 20) p. Yes, this is an actual quote. It makes sense in context (sort of). Capsule Review: Fairly charming collection of essays on her life in the Chicago with her husband and adopted Chinese daughter. Still sounds like a pretty boring person though, if you ask me. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 3 ; Overall FCA ranking: 231
3. E.M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born (New York, 20) p. Capsule Review: I was a little surprised to find this volume in the stacks alongside the other FC autobios at the main branch of the Ottawa library when I was in the research phase of this book, since I had never seen a stand-up special or chat show appearance. He’s somewhere between Sloss and Jesselnik when it comes to nihilism, but funnier than either. He doesn’t get into the whole backstory of his life, but instead basically riffs on the central theme that being born is a “laughable accident.”. Slack Score:  -15; Snark Score: 12.5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 22

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Mitch infiltrates the ultimate 8H post-show bash, still searching for his missing mullet, and witnesses almost unimaginable displays of debauchery and tribal violence whilst being pursued by an enraged Nora Dunn.

Endnotes:

1. Molly Shannon, Hello Molly!; A Memoir (New York, HarperCollins, 2022) p.207 Capsule Review: Heartbreaking, touching, occasionally funny, moving and inspirational recounting of a life well lived by a purely delightful human. Super down-to-earth frank writing style. Extra heart wrenching in audiobook form. Slack Score: -12 ; Snark Score: 5.2; Overall FCA ranking: 6 
2. Charna Halpern, Del Close, and Kim "Howard" Johnson, Truth in Comedy : the Manual for Improvisation (Meriwether Publishing, Colorado Springs 1994) p.53 Capsule Review: As the title implies, this is a handbook not a memoir, so not subject to FCB ranking, etc. A mish-mash of testimonials from students and acolytes of Del Close, many of them SNL stars, ranting wide-eyed about the magic of improv or whatever.
3. Kevin Nealon, I Exaggerate My Brushes with Fame; Portraits & Stories (New York, Abrams, 2022) p.61 Capsule Review: Not like the others, arguably not an autobiography, although enough of Nealon’s life is woven throughout that I’m willing to accept it (not to mention he’s one of the best stand ups of all time IMO). He presents a series of pretty remarkable, sort of beautiful, painted caricatures of various celebrities, mostly SNL adjacent but not necessarily, with cute, tidy accounts of his titular brushes with celebs, or, in certain cases, how a showbiz legend inspired or delighted him. Slack Score: 14.2; Snark Score: 10; Overall FCA ranking: 98

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