Untidy

In this episode of Untidy, Hannah and Matty speak to Melissa Banks, a team leader, early childhood educator, step-mum to two, and mum to 10-year-old, Lilly, who embarked on a gender identity journey at age seven. Melissa shares her touching and illuminating story of finding her way through parenting a gender-questioning child when there was no real roadmap to go by.

They discuss how their journey manifested and what steps they took to start moving forward, how they sought support from family, friends, the school, and other members of the rainbow community, how Melissa surrendered to an uncertain journey of open-ended exploration, the issues they faced, and the gift that it’s ultimately given them both along the way.

This episode is a beautiful example of respectful, responsive parenting and finding a way forward by allowing the child to be the master of their own experience. Happy listening!

The book mentioned in the podcast: 
The Gender Creative Child by Diane Ehrensaft 

If you want to hear more Untidy episodes about childhood and parenting journeys for LGBTQIA+ kids and parents, check out ‘Welcome to the good room with Chris Parker’, and, ‘Not like other dads with Sean Szeps’.

You can find Melissa on Instagram @picsbymu.

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Hannah and Matty speak to Jo Robertson, an experienced therapist, specialising in sex and relationships, addiction, betrayal, and trauma. She was also one of the relationship experts on Married at First Sight NZ. Jo joins Untidy for the second episode of a special two-part edition where she answers anonymous audience questions on their own sex and relationship issues and dilemmas. 

(Trigger warning: These two episodes cover topics such as sex, porn, betrayal, mention of grooming and historical sexual assault. While there is no graphic detail, please listen with care for yourself and those around you.)

In part two Jo covers questions on navigating and recovering from betrayal, keeping secrets, managing tricky relationship dynamics with parents, losing trust, feelings of insecurity over a partner’s porn consumption, intrusive thoughts, protecting kids from sexual assault/grooming, what to look for in a future partner, and, what to do if your four-year-old finds your butt plug ... 

Groups Jo mentioned in the podcast: 

• Naked Truth Recovery
• Side by Side (Auckland-based) 
• Contact Jo directly if you're looking for something specific and she can point you in the right direction.

Book for consent/sexual harm for kids: Only for Me

ACC's website for free sexual trauma counselling. 

If you want to hear more from Jo, listen to her first episode on Untidy called, ‘Navigating New Sexual Landscapes with Jo Robertson’ on your favourite podcast app. 

You can find Jo and a lot of resources via her website https://www.jorobertson.org/, and on Instagram @sextherapistjo. You can also sign up for her parenting course @trickychatsparenting by visiting the Tricky Chats Parenting website.

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Matty delights Hannah with an unprompted plug for My Big Moments books and Hannah explains why personalisation is so powerful for kids’ learning. They hear back from a listener with a very exciting update and unpack how to feel for where the flow is to follow your instincts.

They explore scenarios where people have crossed their boundaries and they chose politeness from social conditioning, rather than following their instincts. They explore why people prioritise others’ comfort over their own safety and how they’d like to act differently.

Hannah shares another bad pizza date and wonders if pizza is the problem, while Matty has a restaurant rant. They finally have a much-needed discourse for millennials about how to wear the crew sock over leggings look coined by Gen Z and what the rules are. But, who will have the last laugh?

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Hannah and Matilda chat to Rachael Wilson, a UK-trained registered dietitian and feeding therapist specialising in family feeding, feeding disorders, disordered eating and body image. Rachael’s professional training and background also includes mindfulness and mindful eating, intuitive eating, and she is a highly-trained feeding therapist with the Ellyn Satter Institute. They discuss how to nurture a positive relationship with food and body for our children, as well as learning about healing from our own challenges. 

(Trigger warning: This episode covers topics such as disordered eating, body dysmorphia and child feeding conditions.)

They dive deep into the complexities of picky eating, exploring the psychology behind it and offering practical advice for parents struggling with mealtime battles. Rachael explains how to create a relaxed mealtime environment, the importance of offering familiar foods, and why we need to give our children autonomy over their eating.

The conversation also covers the challenges of fostering a positive relationship with food and body image in a world obsessed with diet culture. Rachael emphasises the importance of mindful eating, understanding that food is more than just fuel, and how parents can model positive eating behaviors and attitudes towards their body for their children even when they’ve grown up with unhelpful conditioning, eating and body image issues themselves.

Rachael introduces the concept of feeding disorders like ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and provides insights into the rise of eating disorders among children and adolescents. She offers advice on how parents can spot the early signs of disordered eating and the importance of seeking help early.

This episode is packed with valuable tips and honest discussions that resonate with anyone concerned about their child’s, or their own, relationship with food and body image.

Find Rachael Wilson online thefoodtree.co for more information, workshops, seminars, and to book a consultation. Follow Rachael on Instagram @thefoodtree.co.

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, after Hannah’s haunted by a lingering leek, Matty and Hannah kick off pondering some awkward culinary curiosities and an exploration of Matty’s food quirks. With recent kitchen renovations, Matty’s shocked to discover she’s not the dynamic person she thought once thought. 

After being confronted by her new-found stagnancy, Matty is also adjusting to the reality that her son, Milo, is growing up as he gets ready to start school. The girls talk about handling school transitions and give a hearty plug to Hannah’s ‘My Big Moment’s’ book, ‘Ready for School’ which is helping Matty and Milo prepare for this next milestone.

After that wholesome segment on actual parenting issues, they find another shaky segue onto memories of minor misdemeanours and first crimes from their childhood which they largely, but, not completely, regret.   

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Hannah and Matty speak to Jo Robertson, an experienced therapist, specialising in sex and relationships, addiction, betrayal, and trauma. She was also one of the relationship experts on Married at First Sight NZ. Jo joins Untidy for a special two-part edition where she answers anonymous audience questions on their own sex and relationship issues and dilemmas. 

(Trigger warning: These two episodes cover topics such as sex, porn, betrayal, mention of grooming and historical sexual assault. While there is no graphic detail, please listen with care for yourself and those around you.)

In part one Jo covers questions on educating kids about sex, managing boundaries, mismatched desires, rejection, low libido, reigniting the spark, and how to prioritise your relationship with a young family. 

Stand by for part two ...

If you want to hear more from Jo, listen to her first episode on Untidy called, ‘Navigating New Sexual Landscapes with Jo Robertson’ on your favourite podcast app. 

You can find Jo and a lot of resources via her website https://www.jorobertson.org/, and on Instagram @sextherapistjo. You can also sign up for her parenting course @trickychatsparenting by visiting the Tricky Chats Parenting website.

Books mentioned in the podcast:
The Amazing True Story of How Babies are Made
What Makes a Baby

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, ‘podcast partners’ Matty and Hannah begin to merge completely by turning up in matching jumpers. Matty is the ever-vigilant neighbour sniffing out the cause of suspicious smoke activity in the far-off distance, while Hannah remains completely oblivious to an actual emergency right outside her front door. After that initial housekeeping and checking in on the set homework of the 90s poo, they get to discussing Hannah’s activities as the dark angel of the dating world, sharing the latest horrifying encounters, honest observations of fellow daters, and delivering due consequences to dating swamp monsters haunting the shallows of the ‘Bog of Eternal Stench’. Will Hannah find her sunny pontoon? Or, will this foray just continue to deliver content for the pod?

With a chasm of disconnect between many women wishing to ‘engage the mind before engaging the heart’, versus many men moving directly to, ‘send me a pic’, the girls ponder if we are headed for a greater loneliness epidemic with the dehumanising effects of dating app culture. 

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this snippet of Untidy, Matty and Hannah talk to the 'queen of common sense' parenting educator, Maggie Dent. Maggie draws from her deep knowledge of neuroscience and her rich experience as a high school teacher and mother of four boys, to share her refreshing, reassuring, and candid perspective on navigating the challenges of parenting through adolescence. The conversation touches on how to really work alongside your teen through those tumultuous adolescent years. Maggie provides invaluable advice on managing conflict and disappointment without damaging the parent-child relationship. Catch the full episode featuring Maggie Dent on Untidy podast called, Surfing the waves of adolescence with Maggie Dent'.

Maggie's latest book, ‘Help Me Help My Teen’, is a guide for parents to help their teens when they're struggling with the challenges and increased pressures today's teens are facing, i.e. vaping, anxiety, sexuality, school grades, self-harm and sexual harassment.

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Big thanks to @maxenelondoncreative for editing. Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Matty and Hannah talk to the ‘queen of common sense’ parenting educator, Maggie Dent. Maggie is a celebrated author, podcaster, and speaker with a background in teaching, counselling, palliative care, and suicide prevention. Maggie draws from her deep knowledge of neuroscience and her rich experience as a high school teacher and mother of four boys, to share her refreshing, reassuring, and candid perspective on navigating the challenges of parenting through adolescence.

(Trigger warning: In this episode, there is some discussion of self-harm, suicide, sexual assault and exploitation, bullying and cyber-bullying. Please listen with care.)

Maggie’s latest book, ‘Help Me Help My Teen’, is a guide for parents to help their teens when they're struggling with the challenges and increased pressures today’s teens are facing, i.e. vaping, anxiety, sexuality, school grades, self-harm and sexual harassment. 

The conversation touches on how to really work alongside your teen through those tumultuous adolescent years. Maggie provides invaluable advice on managing conflict and disappointment without damaging the parent-child relationship. She advocates for maintaining a strong emotional connection as a teen’s ‘safe place’, even in the face of disagreements, to ensure that teenagers always feel supported and understood as they navigate this period of both enormous potential and also enormous risk.

Maggie's insights are not only practical and grounded in reality, but deeply compassionate, to empower listeners to be able to guide their children through these critical years with love, patience, and understanding. This episode is a must-listen!

Follow Maggie Dent on Instagram @maggiedentauthor, register for her popular full-day Calming Today's Anxious Kids conference in Auckland on 14th September, find much more at her website maggiedent.com, and by her books at Mighty Ape, Paper Plus or in audiobook format. You'll be wanting more of Maggie, so luckily, she is also the host of The Good Enough Dad podcast and has hosted six seasons of the award-winning ABC podcast, Parental As Anything.

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Untidy, Matty and Hannah kick things off with a relatable rant fuelled by a morning of cat sick surprises and premenstrual rage. Matty has a beef with the cosmetic industry and their unreasonable routines, endless serums, and the pointless fight against the nature of ageing. 

They reminisce about how everyone pooed in the 90s and if it’s now okay to handle not-so-urgent messages while handling your urgent business. Matty confesses the troubling realities of her former grubbiness and they both decide to resolve the last bastions of chaos at home with a little cathartic decluttering (preferably before something dies or sh*ts in there first). 

If you enjoy this episode of Untidy, please support the show by subscribing in your podcast app and tapping the ‘+ follow’ button. That way, you’ll never miss an episode. Help us to keep building this supportive community – subscribe, share an episode with a mate, and chuck us a 5-star review. Thank you for listening and supporting our independent production! You’re the best!

Untidy is made for you – the people right at the heart of this steaming hot mess we call parenthood! Follow the show and DM us on Instagram @untidypodcast or email [email protected]. Your stories and ideas to help us shape the show! Find us online at Untidy podcast. Find Matilda at @matootles and get your copy of The Feel Good Guide. Find Hannah at @hannahedavison and her My Big Moments children’s books at @mybigmoments. Enter code UNTIDY at checkout for 10% off your order.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.