Unwell, Not Undone Podcast

The Language We Use

Hey there, a big welcome back to Episode 2!

Have you ever felt a little odd or uncomfortable when someone labels you a “sufferer of”… or ‘you’re battling…” or ‘you’re fighting….”, whether it’s for a physical or mental health condition? I think you might find you’re not alone.

In today’s episode of Unwell, Not Undone (Episode 2: “The Language We Use”), we’re looking at how the words we use to describe being chronically unwell can alter how we see ourselves and impact our mental health and most importantly, our nervous system.

Sometimes, we, or those around us, can use what can be described as ‘war language’ or ‘fighting language’ without even realising it. The phrases can be things like fighting, suffering, battling, winning or losing, because it perhaps allows us to feel some power over our experience. Attributing these types of phrases to describe situations can simply be automatic due to a lack of another vocabulary, or just inherited from the world around us. Framing our physical conditions or mental health issues as battlefields though can set us up for failure, without even realising it. Those times when things are simply just a tough day can start to feel like personal defeat if we apply those ‘war language’ rules.

Three Gentle Takeaways From Today’s Episode

* Using War Language is optional. Some people find using war language genuinely helps them, and if you’re one of them, keep doing it! Whatever works for you I say! On the flip side, if you find using war language feels heavy, you have the option to put it down and try something else.

* Being honest about how hard things are isn’t the same as letting it define you. Saying “Today was pretty hard,” or “My anxiety feels like it’s getting the better of me today,” is the true and very real thing. Consider if saying “I am a sufferer”, changes something in your mindset from being something temporary to one where your nervous system feels like it’s permanent. How does that land for you?

* You may be unwell, but you are not undone. Being physically or mentally unwell is something you’re managing. It’s not completely who you are. Who you are, how you show up in the world, and the person you’re still becoming is still whole and intact.

Today’s Glimmer Practice

I wonder in the next few days, if you’re able to practice noticing if you personally use, or hear anyone around you use, any of the heavy words like fighting, struggling, sufferer, losing, or battling. If you do, take a moment to just notice them and see how they feel for you. Where do they land in your body? Do you feel empowered by using them? Or do you feel like they don’t fit?

Can you ask yourself, ‘Is this the word I want to use to describe myself or my situation? Do I say it because I don’t have any other words to use? If so, I wonder if you’re able to find a word that’s a better fit. One that allows your nervous system to relax.

Some words that others use instead of fighting language can be:

* Experiencing..

* Carrying..

* Holding space for..

* Managing..

* Handling..

* Living with..

* Balancing..

* Adjusting..

You don’t even have to change the words if it’s all too hard. Just notice that you have the choice in that moment to change it if you want to, there’s your glimmer right there!

Listen and Support

* Listen to Episode 2: You can stream “The Language We Use” on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your shows. Please feel free to share this episode with a friend if it helped you or you thought of them during your listen.

* Find Me: Come and say hi and follow me on Instagram @unwellnotundone or email me at [email protected]

* Support the Show: If this show has kept you company today or you found a little glimmer that made your day brighter, you’re always welcome to buy me a chai over on Ko-fi. Ko-fi (spelled K-O dash F-I, like coffee with a K) is a lovely little way to send a small one-off tip to help support the show and keep the lights on over here. No pressure of course!

Remember, you’re Unwell, You’re Not Undone.

See you in a fortnight :-)

Kris

Episode 1 Show Notes: Why Being Unwell Takes Up More Space Than It’s Owed

In this inaugural episode, we pull apart why living with chronic health changes can quietly start to feel like it’s taking over your whole life. We talk about the raw reality of rebuilding who you are, holding space for subtle griefs, and actively making room for the glimmers along the way.

In This Episode, We Cover:

Being Unwell Is Loud: Why constant appointments, body signals, and decisions demand so much mental bandwidth.

The Comfort of Certainty: How chronic illness can become the one clear, explainable thing when everything else feels uncertain.

Grief & Glimmers: Moving past toxic positivity to hold space for hard limitations while actively noticing daily moments of joy.

Looking Ahead: What to expect this season, including navigating friendships, setting boundaries, pacing, self-advocacy, and rebuilding work and play.

A Question to Sit With This Week:

If your chronic illness only got to occupy one room in your house and not the whole address, what might be in the other rooms if you were brave enough to open the doors and peek in?

This Week’s Glimmer Practice: Notice one small thing today that brings a moment of light—a text, good food, a funny joke, or warm shower water—and take two seconds to pause and let your focus land there.

Connect & Support:

Share Your Glimmer: Reply directly to this post, find me on Instagram @unwellnotundone, or email [email protected].

Support the Podcast: If this episode kept you company today, consider buying me a chai tea on Ko-fi to help keep the lights on and support the show.

Until next time, remember: you are unwell, you are not undone.

Kris