Upbringing

Today we hear from a parent who is at the end of her rope with battles over escalating screen time with her two sons, age 6 and 10. How can we set limits without over-controlling, pulling the parent card or getting intense pushback to the rules? We explore power, control, attunement, independent play, family agreements, loving limits, and some alternatives to screen time itself. 

We also chat ways to bravely engage through respectful negotiations as we support big feelings and redefine resistance for our family and beyond. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Today’s episode shoutout is the Raising Rebels Podcast, hosted by Noleca Radway. Each episode features courageous conversations with real parents who are encouraging their children to be fully themselves in a society that doesn’t always celebrate them. Raising Rebels tackles everything from sexuality and race, to co-parenting and money, all with the goal of raising liberated children.

Visit www.raisingrebelspod.com to become a patron, and follow Noleca on instagram @raisingrebelspod. Learn more in our show notes! 

Relevant Links:

- Our Freedoms Model
- Our RESIST Approach
- Our Empowerments
- Our Shop + the new Big Feelings Survival Guide!
- Our Resources Page
- Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene
- Screens in the time of covid via Your Parenting Mojo Podcast
- The art of screentime + NYT article by Anya Kamenetz
- Raising Your Child in a Digital World by Kristy Goodwin
- Screen-free Parenting - Resources, ideas and research
- Common Sense Media - Find age-appropriate shows
- Just Give Them The Screens (For Now) by Jessica Grosse
- Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B Rosenburg
Shows our kids have been watching:
 - Bluey (Disney)
 - Shaun The Sheep (Netflix)
 - Tumble Leaf (Netflix)
 - Wapos Bay (Amazon Prime)
 - Puffin Rock (Netflix)
 - Little Bear (Kanopy)
 - Mr. Rogers (PBS Kids)
 - Sesame Street (PBS Kids)
Things our kids have been listening to:
 - Wow in the World Podcast (Spotify)
 - Story Party (Audible)
 - Stories Podcast (Spotify)
 - Like You: Mindfulness for Kids (Apple podcasts)
 - Laurie Berkner’s Song & Story Kitchen (audible)
 - Magic School Bus (Audible)
- Our Coaching page
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, musician, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.co

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we hear from a parent who is exhausted from navigating the persistent frustrations, anger and big feelings of her spirited daughter. She worries about the possibility of her daughter ALWAYS being like this, as well as the impact of her big outbursts on the wellbeing and behavior of her younger brother. We explore temperaments, stress, kids’ brains, boundaries, empathy, acceptance and why OUR BELIEFS ARE EVERYTHING.

We also chat ways to lean in to our kids’ big feelings, rudeness, harsh words, anger and frustration with bravery, boundaries, empathy and the understanding that IT’S ALL GOOD. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Today’s episode shoutout is The Parenting Decolonized podcast, which shines a light on how colonization has impacted the Black family structure and explores ways to use conscious parenting as activism against white supremacy. Host and conscious parenting coach Yolanda Wiliams and her guests discuss how to raise liberated Black children without breaking their spirits. We so far have loved episodes with Trina Greene Browne on Parenting for Liberation, Krissy Coggins of Krissy’s Couch on parenting consciously and Domari Dickinson on how to stop parenting from a place of fear. 

Visit www.ParentingDecolonized.com to become a patron and to learn more about the podcast and blog… and follow Yolanda on instagram @prntgdcolonized. Learn more in our show notes.

Relevant Links:

- Our Freedoms Model
- Our RESIST Approach
- Our Empowerments
- Our Shop
- Our Resources Page
- The Yes Brain, by Dan Siegel + Tina Payne Bryson
- Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
- Upbringing’s Free To Speak Episode: Website Stream - Apple Podcasts
- Our Coaching page
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on Instagram: @upbringing.co

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we hear from two parents whose partners are not taking on as much of the learning around kids’ development + brains, respectful parenting and positive discipline solutions as they are themselves. They struggle, like so many of us, to find a way to bring their partners and other caregivers into the work of growing up alongside their kids as well as finding the words to articulate those differences. We explore ways to lean in to these caregiver clashes (as well as conflicts with our children) so we can all be on the same page - open, honest, vulnerable and growing - in these difficult times! We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Today’s episode shoutout is Akilah Richards, host of the Fare of the Free Child podcast -- a lifestyle and parenting podcast about the connection between liberation, learning, and parenting-- particularly among BIPOC communities. Parents, educators, unschoolers and entrepreneurs tune in weekly to connect about unschooling, deschooling, conscious parenting, and self-directedness. Discussions center emotional wellness, learning, parenting, self-care, and self-love. Her highly-anticipated book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work (from PM Press), will be released this fall.

Visit www.raisingfreepeople.com to pre-order Akilah’s upcoming book, and find Alikah on instagram @fareofthefreechild. 

Relevant Links:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Upbringing’s Empowerments
- The Upbringing Shop
- The Upbringing Resources Page
- Episode 64 - Caregiver Clashes: Parenting on the Same Page
- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel show
- Alex Borstein as Susie Myerson the Mrs. Maisel clips that brought us joy
- The Upbringing Coaching page
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on Instagram: @up_bringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we hear from a parent whos kid has begun struggling with middle of the night wakeups, then bedtime transitioning, and now daytime apart from parents. We explore ways to lean into his big feelings and resist the urge to fix, minimize, explain away, judge or stop his fears -- but rather to listen, validatek acknowledge, relate to and slowly innovate through a two-way conversation what may be contributing to his discomfort. When we can help our kids attune to themselves, we are breaking cycles of cultural conditioning that don’t serve our child, our family or our world. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Today’s episode shoutout is the First Name Basis podcast, hosted by Jasmine Bradshaw. Each week, Jasmine provides tools and practical strategies for parents that have helped us better talk to kids about race, religion and culture. Spanning topics like privilege, inclusion and cultural appropriation to historical deep-dives like the untold story of Rosa Parks, Juneteenth or the history of the star-spangled banner, First Name Basis is an incredible resource we are grateful to learn from. We encourage you to broaden your podcast feed to include this inspiring series and support Jasmine on her Patreon community page. Find the First Name Basis Podcast here and Jasmine Bradshaw at on instagram @firstname.basis.

Relevant Links:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Upbringing’s Empowerments
- The Upbringing Shop
- The Upbringing Coaching page
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]

Follow Upbringing on Instagram: @up_bringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we hear from a parent whose daughter has been intensely rude to her, her mother and her new partner. We explore ways to look beneath behaviors, connect instead of correct, run the RESIST Approach in the moment, and build skills and connection together as a family. When we can help our kids attune to themselves, we are breaking cycles of cultural conditioning that don’t serve our child, our family or our world. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Today’s episode shoutout is Good Ancestor podcast, hosted by globally respected speaker, anti-racism educator and NYT bestselling author of Me And White Supremacy, Layla Saad. Her interview series with change-makers and culture-shifters explores what it means to be a good ancestor. We loved her recent episode with Candace Braithwaite of Make Motherhood Diverse, Episode 23 with Kimberly Seals Allers on Birth Without Bias and Episode 14 with The Conscious Kid, discussing parenting through a critical race lens. Check out the website at www.laylafsaad.com, and find Layla on instagram @goodancestorpodcast and @laylafsaad. 

Relevant Links:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- The Upbringing Shop
- The Upbringing Coaching page
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on Instagram: @up_bringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we hear from a parent who is concerned her 4 year old’s brain is wired to react and respond in fear and people pleasing because she has used shame in her parenting. Our answer: IT’S NEVER TOO LATE! We explore ways that can help repair our kids’ brains and our connection as we build skills, practice and grow up alongside our kids and one another. The hard stuff is the good stuff. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

This week's shoutout is to Parenting for Liberation: a podcast for Black parents is hosted by author and activist Trina Greene Brown. The podcast’s mission is to cultivate resilient and joyful Black families that are doing the healing work to interrupt historical traumas and intergenerational violence, dismantle harmful narratives about the Black family, and create community that amplifies Black girl magic and Black boy joy. Trina’s brand new book, Parenting For Liberation: A Guide for Raising Black Children, is now available wherever books are sold. 

Visit today’s show notes to learn more about Trina Greene Brown’s work and Parenting for Liberation. Check out her website, ParentingForLiberation.org and find Trina on instagram @parentingforliberation.

Relevant Links:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Upbringing’s We’re Not Done Yet episode
- The Upbringing Shop
- The Upbringing Coaching page
- The Yes Brain, by Dan Siegel + Tina Payne Bryson
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on:
Instagram: @up_bringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

Today we share a pre-existing episode of one of our favorite podcasts: Fare of The Free Child: “Raider as Ritual” Episode 172, posted originally May 27, 2020! Fare of the Free Child is a lifestyle and parenting podcast about the connection between liberation, learning, and parenting-- particularly among BIPOC communities.

In this episode, Akilah speaks with LA-based mother, activist, and entrepreneur Melinda Alexander. They talk about the questions that drive them in the direction of commiting to raising free people and how deschooling and unlearning show up in that experience. In her own experience as a former school teacher, Melinda shares some insights on how a scoolish structure can limit the children in certain contexts. They conclude that partnership and listening are what facilitate an emergent structure. The child is the curriculum and the parents are the facilitators, both are students and teachers! 

Parents, educators, unschoolers and entrepreneurs tune in weekly to FOTFC to connect about unschooling, deschooling, conscious parenting, and self-directedness. We imagine that Fare of the Free Child will resonate as much as it educates, and we hope that featuring Akilah’s work here will also encourage you to expand and diversify your own reading and podcast queues around parenting and motherhood, sharing her work and others you follow with your communities. 

We’re excited to chat with host Akilah Richards in an upcoming podcast season when we resume our conversations with artists, activists, writers and beyond. In the meantime, our goal today is to center Akilah's brilliant work and encourage you to follow, listen, learn and support her podcast and upcoming book: Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work. 

Relevant Links

WEBSITE- www.raisingfreepeople.com
INSTAGRAM- @fareofthefreechild
MELINDA ALEXANDER ON INSTAGRAM @mumumansion
PRE-ORDER RAISING FREE PEOPLE- www.pmpress.org
UNSCHOOL COURSES- www.rfpunschool.com
PATREON- www.patreon.com/akilah
TEDX TALK- www.raisingfreepeople.com/speaking

Fare of the Free Child’s Shownotes

Welcome to the fourth Deschooling Release Party (DRP) session, a celebration of our commitment to unlearning oppression in our relationships with children and Self. Volume I was about self-care and this one (Volume II) is about pivoting from fear and panic over into what we’re being guided to do. Melinda Alexander will be joining us to talk about the role in ritual in her mothering. More recently, she and her son Raider, started transitioning from schoolishness to unschooling.

“If you travel down a long ass road and find the intersection— of art, feminism, fashion, Buddhism, social justice and motherhood— you’ll find me standing there in a MuMu, having a yard sale, raising money for Black Lives Matter.” – Melinda Alexander

Melinda is an LA-based mother, activist, and entrepreneur. Influenced by her parents work as longtime anti-racist, civil rights organizers, both art and social justice kept at her center.

After having her baby in a tumultuous transition/divorce, her life changed. The work she does now, which she calls Women’s Work, helps other women find their voice as part of a liberation and unlearning process, “Getting Free”.

Melinda is raising Raider, her Black son in an anti-Black power structure, with a feminist, social justice-oriented focus.

WHAT WE DISCUSS
Akilah and Melinda talk about the questions that are driving us in the direction of commiting to raising free people and how deschooling and unlearning show up in that experience. Raider was depressed and did not get used to the school structure. Melinda saw this and advocated for her son by emailing the teachers, it ultimately ended up in them transitioning to unschooling.

In her own experience as a former school teacher, Melinda shares some insights on how a scoolish structure can limit the children in certain contexts. Intrinsic value is not possible in a school setting, unless you are completely self-directed. Based on the pursuit of validation (did I do well?), the children have never been given a choice and always have been told what to do, and how to do it. By the time they finish school, they don’t know anything about themselves.

They conclude that partnership and listening are what facilitate an emergent structure. The child is the curriculum and the parents are the facilitators, both are students and teachers. 

Thank you so much for your feedback on episode 170, we are always happy to hear from all of you! We were honoring mothering in its various forms and also launching our family of podcasts.LIBERATION WALK

• In order to continue through this journey of healing and self awareness process we invite you to subscribe to all five podcasts on Raising Free People Network, our liberation work platform.
• Be sure to join our Facebook group.  
• Head over to Melinda’s website and instagram for more musings on love and liberation.
• Pre-order Akilah’s book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work!
• Organizations like Metro Atlanta Mutual Aid Fund are organizing collective help for Atlanta’s BIPOC families affected by COVID-19 – Please donate.
• Support the show at patreon.com/akilah

Today we share a pre-existing episode of one of our favorite podcasts: Raising Rebels, hosted by Noleca Radway, Episode 3: "I brought you into this world...", posted on June 20, 2019. Raising Rebels is a podcast about oppressed parents raising free children, featuring courageous conversations with real parents who are encouraging their children to be fully themselves in a society that doesn’t always celebrate them.

In this episode, Noleca speaks with her three daughters, Glory, Moxie and Blu about their experiences of her evolving discipline as their mother. Noleca is also joined by her friend Jade Verette and her partner and fellow educator Tristan Verette. The three parents discuss how they experienced discipline as kids, what informed their parents’ methods, and how they’re intentionally engaging with it now as parents.

Raising Rebels tackles everything from sexuality and race, to co-parenting and money, all with the goal of liberating children. We imagine that Raising Rebels will resonate as much as it educates, and we hope that featuring Noleca’s work here will also encourage you to expand and diversify your own podcast queues around parenting and motherhood… sharing Raising Rebels and others you follow with your communities. 

We’re excited to chat with host Noleca Radway in an upcoming podcast season when we resume our conversations with artists, activists, writers and beyond. In the meantime, our goal today is to center Noleca’s brilliant work and encourage you to follow, listen, learn and support her podcast. 

Relevant Links

WEBSITE- www.raisingrebelspod.com
PRODUCTION- Domino Sound Podcast Network: www.dominosound.co
PODCAST- Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube
INSTAGRAM- @raisingrebelspod
TWITTER- @Raising_Rebels
FACEBOOK- @RaisingRebelsPod
PATREON- www.patreon.com/join/raisingrebels
BROOKLYN FREE SCHOOL- https://www.brooklynfreeschool.org

When we feel like we're living our own horrifying version of the movie Groundhog Day, it makes dealing with kids big feelings and challenging behaviors pretty torturous. How can we channel the Phil Connors from the last several minutes of the movie, who can lean in and engage with his "new normal" with curiosity, generosity, patience, humor and joy? 

Today we explore 10 ways we’re working to do just that. The hard stuff is the good stuff. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Relevant Links + resources that informed this episode:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Upbringing’s Empowerments
- Upbringing’s FREE TO FEEL podcast episode
- Upbringing’s FREE TO FEEL Q&A episode
- Siblings Without Rivalry, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish
- Self-regulation / Co-regulation
- It’s OK Not To Share, by Heather Shumaker
- How Toddlers Thrive, by Tovah P. Klein
- Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne
- Raising Humans by Ross Greene
- De-Escalate by Douglas E. Noll
- Now Say This by Julie Wright and Heather Sturgeon
- The Whole-Brain Child- Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson
- The Good News About Bad Behavior by Katherine Reynolds-Lewis
- Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B Rosenburg
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Today’s episode is supported by A Kid’s Book About- a collection of beautifully designed books that kickstart challenging and empowering conversations between kids and their grownups. 

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on:
Instagram: @up_bringing
Facebook: @jointheupbringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.

We’re all going through a tough transition right now as we adjust to life at home… with kids… and work… and for many us, other caregivers. Our unique childhoods, unconscious beliefs and clashing approaches can increase the conflict, which can create stress for us, tension in our relationships and confusion for our kids. We’re all on the hunt for answers, but are beginning to realize that the questions are paramount to progress! 

Today we explore 10 ways we’re working to better understand and respectfully communicate with the other caregivers in our lives so that these tough times can keep us close instead of push us apart. The hard stuff is the good stuff. We laugh, we cry, we lean in… join us!

Relevant Links + resources that informed this episode:

- Upbringing’s Freedoms Model
- Upbringing’s RESIST Approach
- Esther Perel
- John Gottman
- Upbringing’s We Know Our Influence episode
- Tina Fey in 30 Rock, Dealbreaker
- Ross Greene, Collaborative + Proactive Solutions
- Terry Real, author & therapist
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert by John Gottman
- Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin
- The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terrence Real
- Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy by Aaron T. Beck M.D.

- Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child by John Gottman
- Raising Humans by Ross Greene
- De-Escalate by Douglas E. Noll
- Amber Okamura, Upbringing’s Artist
- Mary Schroeder, Upbringing’s Letterer
- Alex Olavarria, our producer, conductor, editor + husband/brother in law

Today’s episode is supported by A Kid’s Book About- a collection of beautifully designed books that kickstart challenging and empowering conversations between kids and their grownups. 

Visit our website, www.upbringing.co to learn more about us and sign up for our newsletter! We want to hear your thoughts. We care deeply about what you think and how you’re doin’, so get in touch -- we’re better together.

Email us: [email protected]
Follow Upbringing on:
Instagram: @up_bringing
Facebook: @jointheupbringing

Join us to explore topics such as: parenting, motherhood, discipline, resistance, RIE parenting, feminist parenting, toddlers, tantrums, potty training, mindful parenting, conscious parenting, evidence-based parenting, positive parenting, respectful parenting, simplicity parenting and positive discipline.