Us and Kids: Parenting and marriage coaching with therapist, Jan Talen

On today’s show, we are doing things a bit differently. We aren’t going to focus on our marriage, nor are we going to talk about parenting much. What we are going to be diving into is us, and how that can inevitably affect our partner and kids.

It can be hard during this time to not get stuck in the spinning circle of that anxiety and then being angry for feeling anxious. We want to make sure that we manage our emotions and that our emotions aren’t managing us. When we are more intentional about connecting and engaging with other people, it can take us out of our own pity party we might be stuck in.

On today’s show, let’s be certain about what we’re talking about - uncertainty. There is so much going on and changing every day in our homes, our hearts and our relationships. We are told one thing and then what feels like almost instantly that answer changes.

Do we just have to sit and spin in circles because nothing's for sure? Or is there a way to keep ourselves calm and keep on track? When we take the time to understand that we can’t control everything, it helps us regain strength to move forward with what we do know or can control.

On today’s show, we're moving on to part two of this two part series. In the last podcast, we were talking about Velcro. We talked about how to be connected with your spouse, and about how to clean up those connections in case being velcro’d together isn't working very well. Sometimes there are too many fuzzies and other things that are blocking the good connections.

We're going to continue that today, but today we're going to talk about bonding or Velcro connections with our kids. How do we make sure that our kids are really getting set up so they can connect nicely with other people around them?

On today’s show, we're going to talk about Velcro and about staying connected. So I have a question. Do you think your home life can just naturally get better without any outside support? I know that you keep on trying this thing and then that thing and there's two steps forward and there's one step back.

Each time we know you're trying to improve the connections with your kiddos and your spouse and often it can just feel like a moving target. I hope that for the next two weeks while we talk about bonding and connecting and how stress impacts it, that we can keep the bond strong and clean and together.

On today’s show, we are talking about couches, couples and connecting. After a long day at work or maybe endless hours together at home, it can feel easy to grab your phone and sit down next to each other on the couch. This time is better than nothing, right? Or could these little actions be doing more harm than good?

If we create habits like these in our everyday lives they might become a crutch for us to turn to instead of our spouse in times when we need real emotional support. We don’t have to avoid couch time all together though, we can learn how to use this time to reconnect with each other.

On today’s show, we are going to be keeping up with topics that are timely with everything going on. We are talking about what is happening in your home, with what is working or not working to keep those relationships together when we are all together so very much. It’s easy for strong overwhelming emotions to take over us during this time.

Some of our worries and our anxiety can be taken on by our partners and kiddos if we’re not careful. One of the best ways we can become more aware of our feelings and struggles is to write down, on paper, all the chaos that is going on inside our brain. If we try to suppress our feelings and emotions, they usually come out later in a much uglier way.

On today’s show, we are going to be discussing things that are affecting the entire world right now. In times of crisis and uncertainty, it can be easy for us to get ourselves worked up and use certain slang out of fear. I am going to talk all about the “T” words you can use to replace a not so friendly “F” word in our “What the ____” sentences.

There are things we can do during this time to be intentional with our spouse family while we are in such close quarters. It can be easy to get on each other's nerves if we’re not careful so if we can keep these things in mind, we might come out of this time stronger.

On today’s show, we are taking it back to the times and memories of when you and your partner first fell in love. What were those feelings like? What about them made your heart skip a beat? So many things in our lives can cause anxiety, especially with everything that is going on in the world right now.

If we take the time to reminisce on the things our partner did or the things about them we loved, those chemicals in our brain can help combat some of that anxiety. We might be trying to find a new normal right now with our routines and kiddos, but intentionally focusing on that honest love can help lighten the darkness.

On today’s show, we talk about all the changes that we have to make. How do we make them and stay an adult? Sometimes there are so many changes. They come at us so fast that just even the change of what's for supper can tip us over. We wonder how that can happen? Why can't I just stay self composed for that little thing?

This shouldn't be such a big deal. Well, sometimes we have these thoughts, right that everything goes wrong. Even when we're adults, and it can be a fairly common thought when there are lots of big changes and we're not really sure about what we're doing. We may be faking it fine, but inside we know we're pretty rattled and insecure about what's happening or how this is going to work out.

On today’s show, we're going to talk about adjusting to life changes and what happens to our kids. We all know, life changes and usually not when we want it to. And, if we have littles, then life changes for them too. And, what might be a good change for mom and dad might seem like chaos and disconnections for our little ones.

Every little milestone that our kiddos achieve or strive for often comes with a lot of hard times in their little minds. All of the things that come simply and easily to us are huge challenges that they face constantly. It takes about 3 months for a change to really set in so we must be prepared to have patience with our little ones in those developing years.