In the pursuit of personal and professional growth, many people fall into the trap of constantly measuring themselves against an idealized version of who they want to be or what they want to achieve. This mindset can lead to feelings of inadequacy, frustration, and burnout. I spent much of my life comparing myself to where I wanted to be and underappreciating how far I had come. A few years back, I started changing my mindset when a mentor said, “Success isn’t only built on how far you go but instead on how far you’ve come.”

Recently, I stumbled across a book by Dr. Benjamin Hardy and strategic coach Dan Sullivan, The Gap and the Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success, and I was thrilled to explore this concept further. They crystallized the advice I was given years ago, and by embracing it further, I’ve made a powerful shift that has allowed me to feel more joy in my achievements and to look at my shortfalls and failures as learning opportunities.

In this week’s episode of Reflect Forward, I will share the details of how the Gap and the Gain work so that you, too, can positively shift how you view your progress and success.

What is the Gap?

The "Gap" refers to the psychological space where we compare our current selves, achievements, and circumstances to an idealized vision of where we think we should be. This ideal is often based on unrealistic expectations or external influences, such as societal standards, peer comparisons, or perfectionist tendencies. Living in the Gap means focusing on the distance between where we are and where we want to be, leading to dissatisfaction, anxiety, and self-criticism.

What is the Gain?

In contrast, the "Gain" mindset measures our progress based on where we started rather than where we have yet to reach. Living in the Gain mindset means acknowledging and celebrating our improvements, no matter how small, focusing on what's missing to what's been achieved, fostering a sense of satisfaction, motivation, and gratitude.

How to Get Out of the Gap and Live in the Gain

1. Recognize the Gap Mindset: The first step in shifting from the Gap to the Gain is awareness. Notice when you're focusing on what you lack or how far left you have to go.

2. Measure Backward, Not Forward: Instead of measuring your success by how close you are to your ideal, measure it by how far you've come from where you started. Reflect on your achievements, growth, and lessons learned.

3. Set Realistic Expectations: Break larger goals into smaller, manageable steps and celebrate each milestone.

4. Practice Gratitude: Regularly reflect on what you've accomplished, learned, and experienced.

5. Surround Yourself with Positive Influences: Engage with individuals who support your growth, celebrate your achievements, and encourage you to focus on your progress. Avoid those who constantly compare or criticize.

6. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities: When you encounter setbacks or obstacles, try to view them as opportunities for growth rather than failures.

7. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and reward yourself for small victories along the way.

8. Stay Present: The Gap often stems from being overly future-focused. Staying grounded in the present allows you to appreciate the here and now.

Conclusion

The Gap and the Gain is a transformative concept that can help you shift from a mindset of scarcity and dissatisfaction to one of abundance and fulfillment. Focusing on your progress rather than your shortcomings can cultivate a sense of gratitude, motivation, and sustained success.

Please consider ordering my book, The Ownership Mindset, on Amazon or Barnes and Noble

Follow me on Instagram or LinkedIn.

Subscribe to my podcast Reflect Forward on iTunes

Or check out my new YouTube Channel, where you can watch full-length episodes of Advice From a CEO!

And if you are looking for a keynote speaker or a podcast guest, click here to book a meeting with me to discuss what you are looking for!