Hadhrat Thanvi RE further said;

“Along with apologizing, it is also necessary that you praise the person whose Gheebat you had committed, in front of the same people in front of whom you had committed his Gheebat, and clarify that you were wrong.”

This is because you have apologized to him, and have also done Istighfar in front of Allah Ta’ala, but the people in front of whom you had committed his Gheebat are still carrying that bad impression from what you had said. To negate that bad impression, now you should praise him in front of the same people and admit that what you had said may not have been completely true. 

Hadhrat Thanvi then said;

“And if what you had said wasn’t wrong, it was true, then say something like, ‘please do not start doubting that person because of what I had said because now even I am not 100 percent sure whether what I had said was true or not.’ This will be توریہ because one cannot be 100 percent sure about anything without Wahy (Divine revelation).”

It means that if what you had said was true, now you cannot knowingly say that it wasn’t true. Rather, say something like “do not start thinking bad of that person because of what I had said because now I am also not sure whether what I had said is 100 percent true or not.” For 100 percent certainty one needs either direct observation or divine revelation. There is no other way of having 100 percent certainty. Therefore, it is okay to make a statement like this. Insha’Allah it will atone to some extent for the Gheebat you had committed about that person.

Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah have mercy on him) said;

The Holy Prophet’s ﷺ Sunnah in seeking forgiveness

Once the Holy Prophet ﷺ stood in front of a large gathering of his Companions and said, “if I owe some money to someone, he should tell me and take it from me. If I had hurt someone physically he can either take revenge for it, or forgive me.” One companion stood up and said, “O Prophet of Allah ﷺ, one day you had hit me on my back.” The Holy Prophet said ﷺ, “If I had hit you on your back, then you have a right to hit me on my back.” When the companion came close to him he said, “O Prophet of Allah ﷺ! When you had hit me, I didn’t have a cloth covering my back, but there is a cloth covering your back.” The Holy Prophet ﷺ lifted his cloth. The real intention of the companion was not to take revenge, it was to kiss the seal of Prophethood and so he did. But the Holy Prophet ﷺ was prepared that if he owed a right to anyone, he was ready for that person to take revenge from him.

Hazrat Thanvi RE said;

“Otherwise, with Mujahidah (sustained effort), neither a greedy person’s greed goes away completely, nor a miser’s miserliness, or Mutakabbir’s (person who has Takabbur in his heart) Takabbur (arrogance, grandiosity). However, they do get weakened.”

The bad moral values that exist in a person’s inner-self are called Akhlaq-e-Razilah (اخلاقِ رذیلہ). 

Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala have mercy on him) has said;

“Salik (a mentee or pupil in Tasawuf) should get his bad moral values rectified one by one by the Shaykh. When one bad moral value becomes attenuated and comes under his full control, then he should start getting the next one rectified. He should not wait for the first one to go away or be eradicated completely as it is impossible. There are many benefits behind the existence of these bad moral values.”

Hazrat Thanvi RE further said;

“The aim of attenuating bad moral values is to weaken them to an extent that they come under the person’s control. ‘Weakening’ means that after Mujahidah (sustained effort) it becomes easier to oppose those impulses.”

Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) further said;

“A person will continue to need treatment (for spiritual ills) until and unless these internal desires are completely extinguished, and there is no way of completely extinguishing these internal desires.”

Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) said;

“The cure of all negative attributes of a person’s inner-self is reflection and forbearance. Whatever act he is going to perform, first he should reflect on whether it is permissible under Shariah or not. And he should not rush to do things, he should practice forbearance.”

Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) said that;

“Opposing the impulse and drive to commit a sin is called Mujahidah (مجاہدہ) (sustained effort). That impulse arises from some spiritual illness or weakness. The weakening or attenuation of that spiritual illness with sustained effort is called Riyazat (ریاضت).”

Imam Shafa’i’s (RE) remaining quiet before replying

It has been written about Imam Shafa’i (may Allah have mercy on him) that when someone asked him a question sometimes he remained quiet for a period of time and did not reply immediately. Someone asked, “Hadhrat! It has been so long but you have not said anything.” Imam Shafa’i RE replied;

“I am quiet because I am reflecting on whether it is better for me to stay quiet or speak.”

In a Hadith the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

“The thing that will make people fall face down in Hell most often will be the words that have come out of their mouth.”

It is narrated in a Hadith that a Companion (Sahabi) asked the Holy Prophet ﷺ, “O Prophet of Allah ﷺ, which is the most exalted act of worship?” He replied, “the most exalted act of worship is that your tongue always remains active with Allah’s Dhikr (remembrance).”

To protect oneself from Gheebat Hadhrat Thanvi (may Allah have mercy on him) has described a general rule which is;

“Do not say anything before reflecting on it first. It will happen sometimes that you won’t remember to think about it but if you keep reminding yourself about it, you will start remembering most of the time to think before you speak. Insha’Allah (God willing) you won’t neglect it then. Whenever you are about to say something, think first whether what you are about to say will constitute a sin. Insha’Allah this will lead to improvement.”

In a Hadith the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

لا طاعة لمخلوق فی معصیة الخالق

“There is no disobeying the Creator in obeying the creation”.

It is permissible to do Gheebat in situations where the primary purpose is to save a person from coming to some sort of harm. For example, a person comes to you and asks that someone wants to marry his daughter, and asks you if you know what kind of person that man is. If you know something about that person which is important in relation to this marriage proposal, then if you tell that person about it with the intention that he and his daughter will be saved from coming to harm, then this is not included in Gheebat.

Just like it is not permissible to do Gheebat of a pious person, it is not permissible to do Gheebat of a sinner. 

Hazrat Thanvi (may Allah Ta’ala bless him) said;

“If a person commits Gheebat or some useless conversation in front of a Salik (a disciple on the path of purification of inner-self) and he does not have the power to stop him from doing so, then he should leave that sitting, and he should not care about hurting the other person’s feelings, because not harming one’s own Deen is far more important than hurting someone’s feelings. If he is not able to leave that sitting openly then he should make some excuse to get up, or change the topic away from Gheebat.”