It has been narrated by Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Abbas that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

“Do not fight with your brother. Do not do inappropriate jokes with him. Do not make a promise to him that you cannot fulfil.”

Hazrat Imam Malik (may Allah Ta’ala have mercy on him) has said;

“Unnecessary arguments destroy the Noor (divine light) of knowledge.”

Allah Ta’ala says in the Holy Qur’an;

“The duty of Our Messenger is only to convey the Message…” (5:99)

In a Hadith, the Holy Prophet ﷺ said,

“Make as much effort for this world as you are going to live here, and make as much effort for the Aakhirah (Hereafter) as you are going to live there.”

The importance of clarifying the ownership of items and property even within a family.

Another significant cause of conflict and disputes between our families is not following a specific ruling of Shariah. That ruling of Shariah is that, “live with each other like brothers, but carry out financial transactions like strangers”. It means that you should treat each other with love and affection, but when you have to carry out a business dealing, or when you have to buy and sell to each other, then conduct that transaction like you are strangers, the transaction should be completely transparent and there should be no vagueness or uncertainty in it. This is a great teaching of the Holy Prophet ﷺ.

The Holy Prophet ﷺ has said that Muslims should keep all their matters very clear and transparent. The ownership of all items or wealth owned by them should be very clear.

It is Shariah’s edict that after the death of a person, his inheritance should be distributed immediately according to the shares determined by Shariah for each inheritor.

After the dispute above had subsided, the Holy Prophet ﷺ said to the Ansari Sahabah;

“O Ansar! Listen carefully. You are the people who are most special to me. If people go on way, and the Ansar go on the other way, then I will go on the path taken by Ansar.”

Then the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

“O Ansar. No injustice has been carried out with you so far, and I have love and affection for you which will remain Insha'Allah. But I am telling you in advance that once I have left this world, you will face the situation that others will be given preference over you. The rulers who come later, will not treat you as well as they will treat the Muhajirin and others.

O people of Ansar. I leave this will for you that if that happens, then you observe sabr (patience) until you meet me at Haud (pool) of Kausar.”

To be continued

The Holy Prophet ﷺ has said that a person who keeps interacting with people and then observes sabr (patience) on any offence caused by them, is much better than the person who does not interact with people, and therefore does not get to observe sabr as a result of distress caused by them.

If a person observes Sabr (patience), then Allah Ta’ala has promised in the Holy Quran;

“…Certainly those who observe patience will be given their reward in full without measure.” (39:10)

Allah Ta’ala says in the Noble Qur’an;

“And if you were to harm (them) in retaliation, harm them to the measure you were harmed. And if you opt for patience, it is definitely much better for those who are patient.” (16:126)

لا یفرک موٴمن موٴمنہ ان سخط منھا خلقاً رضی منھا آخر

No Muslim man should harbour a grudge towards a Muslim woman, meaning that a husband should not harbour a grudge against his wife permanently. If he dislikes something she does, then there must be something she does that he does like. When your wife does something that you do not like, then you get angry and upset, and keep complaining that she does this, she does that, she has this bad habit and that bad habit. You must also reflect at that time that she must have some virtues as well, and must do some good things as well which you do like. So, whenever your wife does something you do not like, think about one of her habits or acts that you do like. When you think about her good habits, you will dwell less on her bad habits.

the Holy Prophet ﷺ said a Hadith;

“A woman is like a rib. If you try to straighten it, you will break it. If you let it be as it is, then even though it looks curved to you, you will still be able to benefit from it.”

BEAUTY OF A RIB IS IN BEING CURVED

Some men think that when the Holy Prophet ﷺ resembled women to a curved rib, he was being critical of them. Therefore, when some men fight with their wives, they use this term ‘curved rib’ pejoratively. These people have not reflected on the fact that the Holy Prophet ﷺ is referring to the rib as curved. If a rib becomes straight it will lose its primary function which is protecting the vital organs in the chest, it will become useless. It is the beauty and functionality of a rib to remain curved, if it becomes straight it becomes diseased.

Hazrat Abdullah Ibn Umar RAA has narrated that the Holy Prophet ﷺ said;

“There is a Muslim who has isolated himself from other people and has withdrawn from people. For example, he sits in a mosque or a Madrassah so that he does not have to interact with people, and thinks that he will keep praying in isolation. The second Muslim is the person who did not isolate himself, rather he kept intermingling with people. He maintains relationships and friendships with people, spends time with them, and enters into financial transactions with them. As a result of interacting with people, he also gets hurt by them, and he observes Sabr when people hurt him. This Muslim is a much better person than that Muslim who remains aloof from people and because of that he does not have to observe Sabr as a result of being hurt by them.”

Hazrat Haji Imdad Ullah Muhajir Makki (may Allah Ta’ala have mercy on him) said that;

“The primary method of promoting unity amongst us is to develop two attributes. If we develop these two attributes, we will develop unity, but if even one of them is lacking we will never have unity. These two attributes are Tawazu (humility) and Esaar (sacrifice).”

The Holy Prophet ﷺ used to make this prayer;

“O Allah! Put expectation from You alone in my heart, and end all my expectations from all beings except You.”

While describing the self-sacrifice of Sahabah (Companions of the Holy Prophet ﷺ) in the Holy Quran, Allah Ta’ala says;

“…and give preference (to them) over themselves, even though they are in poverty…” (59:9)

This verse refers to the Ansari (original residents of Medinah) Sahabah that no matter how much poverty they themselves are in, they prioritise other people’s needs over their own.

Once some travellers came to meet the Holy Prophet ﷺ who were poor. The Holy Prophet ﷺ asked the other Sahabah that some travellers had arrived who were not well off, so if some Sahabi could afford, they should take these guests home and arrange for them to have food.

Hearing this a Sahabi took one of the guests to his home. When he got home, he asked his wife if there was enough food to feed the guests too. His wife replied that there was just enough food that either they could eat it, or the guest could, but not all of them. The Sahabi said, “put the food in front of the guest and turn the lamp off.” So, his wife did. The Sahabiinvited the guest to start eating. The guest started eating. The Sahabi sat with him but did not eat anything, He would just take his hand to the food and would then bring his empty hand to his mouth just so that the guest would think he was also eating. In this manner, the Sahabi, his wife and their children remained hungry the whole night and fed all the food to their guest. Allah Ta’ala liked this sacrifice of theirs so much that He mentioned it in the Holy Quran by saying;

“…and give preference (to them) over themselves, even though they are in poverty…” (59:9)

It is narrated in a Hadith that there was a person in the peoples who have passed. When he passed away and was presented in Allah Ta’ala’s court, Allah Ta’ala asked the angels who record every person’s actions in life, if there was a major virtue recorded in his balance sheet. The angels replied that there was no major virtue in his balance sheet. However, he had a habit that whenever he bought something, he did not get into a fight with the seller. Whatever price the seller quoted, he would ask him to consider reducing it somewhat and then buy that item.

And when he was selling something, he dealt with people gently. He did not insist that I will charge this much no matter what. Rather, if he saw that the buyer was poor, he would reduce the price. Similarly, if someone owed him money and he learnt that they were unable to repay the loan because of poverty, he would waive his loan. This is his only virtuous act which is in his balance sheet. Allah Ta’ala said that if he forgave his loans to my subjects, then I am more deserving of forgiving him, therefore, I forgive him.

The second principle the Holy Prophet ﷺ has described in this Hadith is actually the basis of all morals. If we develop that attribute, it would lead to all conflicts between us coming to an end. He said;

“Like for your brother what you like for yourself, and dislike for your brother what you dislike for yourself.”