We watch Spice World for the first time in our lives!

Who is your pick for the Final Four? Not the NCAA Final Four! The ultimate showdown of San Antonio Legends!

Anthony can't read. Elisa can't read. Lala can't read. Dave smells a book. The Usual People read (not really)their first Agatha Christie book. Warning Spoilers for: The ABC Murders, Murder on the Orient Express, The Bridge to Terabithia (possibly, or it could be another book), and Teen Wolf.

Our first ever minisode! Who will survive the Selena Tote Bag Wars? What does this billboard even mean? Does anybody have any answers? We sure don't.

Warning, this is not a minisode. Vagina Grapes? A Promiscuous Apple? Suicide by Cop? Morning Wood? Confused? You have to listen to understand! Warning, understanding not guaranteed.

Why would Soundman Dave yell at his Grandma? She should have smacked him with her chancla. Elisa has a spot on impression of Willem Dafoe as the Green Lantern. Lala hates Valentine's Day. Anthony loses his s**t.

Elisa has a loud stomach! Lala knows all about Andy Dick! Anthony wants his mommy! Dave is passing notes! Richard Simmons is a God Damn delight so leave him and the pillow people alone!

Anthony Wants To Kill! Lala Wants To Punch And Kick! Elisa Doesn't Want To Hurt Anyone! Dave Can Hear Everything!

The Usual People cut hair for the first time! Well, they cut Anthony's hair and talk past experiences with new hair dos and don'ts. Elisa has cut hair before and it turned out great, or so she says. Lala has cut hair before but it was awful. They cut Anthony's hair for the first time and how will it turn out?

The Usual People celebrate Christmas traditions from around the world for the first time. They talk Christmas past and is Christmas as depressing as they think? Did the Usual People end up on the naughty list? Will Anthony's letter to Santa be answered?