Good, great morning. Today I woke up to my automatic alarm of lights going off, like I do every morning. (I’ve got smart plugs connected to my Home app on my iPhone, so the lights and music from my HomePod kick in at 5 a.m.) But this morning, I wasn’t really feeling it. Something I do for myself during the week is schedule different workouts to hold me accountable—so even when I don’t feel like it, I know I have to show up. My routine includes three days of intense workouts and two "chill but challenging" days, where I’ll do pilates, go for a hike, or stretch and meditate at home.
Last night, I decided to sign up for a Barre class. I’ve never taken one before, but I’ve always been curious. Lately, I’ve been focused on flexibility and breathing techniques, both of which are challenging for me. It seems like I always choose the hard way over the easy way—it’s just my thing. I guess I enjoy the feeling of overcoming something tough. There’s a thrill in pushing myself through it.
Now, back to this morning...
So, I wake up and tell Siri to turn the lights and music off. Deep down, I know this is a mistake because my body is used to getting up at 5 a.m. every day, but today, my class wasn’t until 7:15 a.m., so I figured I’d sleep in until 6:30. But as I lay there, I start thinking about how much I don’t want to go, weighing the alternative—paying the no-show fee and staying in bed, restless and miserable, overthinking my life. No thanks.
I pop up, say a prayer, and thank God for waking me up, blessing me with good health, and helping me find direction in life. I’ve been feeling a little confused about how I’m going to continue making an income and what will truly make me happy. I also pray for my family—that they have good health, wellness, and peace. I ask God to give me a sign and bring clarity.
After that, I get ready and head out to my Barre class. Oh, and I forgot to mention—I’m producing a podcast right now, and every time I work on it, I feel this annoying imposter syndrome creeping in. I’m always second-guessing myself, thinking it’s never good enough, and wondering how I can make it better. I lose sleep over it. My mind just doesn’t shut off sometimes, and I know I’m not the only one lying in bed at night with racing thoughts.
What I’ve realized is that I need to tackle this insecurity head-on and learn to manage it. During Barre class, I felt good about moving my body, but I struggled with my breathing. I could feel a blockage in my throat when I tried to breathe through each motion, and it wasn’t as seamless as it should’ve been. I know that when you’re working out, your breath is never perfect, but I also know that mine could be better. I feel like what I’m experiencing is something deeper—a tension I need to release to function at a higher level.
So, I’ve decided to make a list of the things I want to improve on. Here it is:
1. Breathe better: Work on breathwork for anxiety and mental health.
2. Isometric and stretching exercises: To improve both physical and mental wellness.
3. Write and release: Publish content and let go of the fear of judgment.
I think I’ll leave it here for now. What about you? What are some things that make you feel uneasy, but if you worked on them, you know they would change you for the better?
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