You want friends? Sympathy? Join the Boy Scouts. Or get a gerbil.

What we have here? Absolutely ZERO chill. You have been warned.

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Here’s a look at the UFC 273: ‘VOLKANOVSKI VS KOREAN ZOMBIE’ fight card with current records —

ESPN+ PPV CARD | SAT. APR 9 — 10PM/7PM ETPT
UFC Featherweight Championship — 14. 145lbs: Alexander Volkanovski (23-1) vs. Chan Sung Jung (17-6)

UFC Bantamweight Championship — 13. 135lbs: Aljamain Sterling (20-3) vs. Petr Yan (16-2)

12. 170lbs: Gilbert Burns (20-4) vs. Khamzat Chimaev (10-0)

11. 115lbs: Mackenzie Dern (11-2) vs. Tecia Torres (13-5)

Tapology has the ‘10’ slot empty today

ESPN+ PRELIMS | 8PM/5PM ETPT
9. 170lbs: Ian Garry (8-0) vs. Darian Weeks (5-1)

8. 265lbs: Jairzinho Rozenstruik (12-3) vs. Marcin Tybura (22-7)

7. 135lbs: Aspen Ladd (9-2) vs. Raquel Pennington (13-8)

6. 170lbs: Mickey Gall (7-4) vs. Mike Malott (7-1)

5. 155lbs: Vinc Pichel (14-2) vs. Mark Madsen (11-0)

UFC FIGHT PASS EARLY PRELIMS | 6:15PM/3:15PM ETPT
4. 265lbs: Aleksei Oleinik (59-16) vs. Jared Vanderaa (12-7)

3. 185lbs: Anthony Hernandez (8-2) vs. Josh Fremd (9-2)

2. 115lbs: Piera Rodriguez (7-0) vs. Kay Hansen (7-5)

1. 135lbs: Julio Arce (17-5) vs. Daniel Santos (10-1)

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