By pretty much any metric you want to choose, Van Halen was one of the worst bands of all time. This is the soundtrack to getting dumb, being dumb and staying dumb. Literally every fictional band from a movie about a band made better music than Van Halen. This is the musical equivalent of mixing every color of paint in the store together until you end up with brown instead of just buying brown paint.

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Van Halen Sucks

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Let’s review: there’s no good art and it’s a red flag for adults to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree. That's fine. Just pretend it's a drinking game. An algorithm randomly assigns the band Mark &amp; Tyler destroy in every episode. Start on one everybody knows is trash, like The Beatles. But soon you'll realize culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Get Ad-Free Episodes Here: https://anchor.fm/yfbspod/subscribe)

Music

Alright, this is the sixth freakin' time we've done one of these things so you shouldn't need much in the way of an introduction. Y'all know what it is. But wait... Could there be any surprises in this latest installment of our great podcast tradition? Listen and learn!

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Christmas Music Sucks: Part 6, The Voicemail Episode

This holiday season we thought it would be nice to bring back a truly deep, old-school Q4 discount by taking 100% off the value of Soundgarden, one of the most overrated bands of all time. If the dude with the microphone is just going to scream all the time then shouldn't the music be heavier? How can the fans call this good songwriting when all of the lyrics are idiotic nonsense? Why is the most annoying drummer you know going to punch a hole in their bedroom wall when you send them a link to this?


All these questions and more will be answered in today's episode of the podcast: Soundgarden Sucks!


(BTW we are running an actual sale this weekend, too. Promo code CREED4EVER gets you 30% off podcast merch until Tuesday at shop.yfbspod.com)

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SOUNDGARDENSUCKS

Please consider this episode of the podcast your one-time-only, always-true, get-it-tattooed-somewhere-on-your-body-and-never-worry-about-new-facts-coming-to-light reminder: you do not under any circumstances need to hand it to the band Cream. Forget every stupid Boomer joke you've ever heard that implies Eric Clapton was once a good guitarist or was once in a good band. It's always been a myth. Cream was unquestionably the most over-rated band of the 1960s and anyone who wants to argue about that has no good opinions on music.

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Cream Sucks

If you’ve heard of The 1975 but aren’t really sure where, they’re the British one with the lead singer who’s been giving everyone a different reason to hate him every week or so for the past few years. Meanwhile Mark and Tyler hate the whole band because they’ve never released a good song, which used to be the barrier of entry on anyone caring enough to pay attention to the antics of a band's lead singer. This ain’t Oasis, people! It’s a pretty simple rule: if you wouldn’t listen to the guy sing, don’t listen to him talk. What you should be listening to instead is this brand new episode of the podcast about how much The 1975 sucks!

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The 1975 Sucks

Please, for the love of all that is decent in the world, leave those old records on the shelf, Bob! Even if the music you grew up on was once half as cool as you seem to think - which it wasn't - and even if you yourself were once half as cool as you seem to think - which you definitely weren't - what about any of that would lead you to believe the world needs you to write approximately 80 songs on that topic and only that topic?! Nobody cares that you used to get your dick wet, dude. You've got to stop singing about it. It was already weird about 40 years ago and at this point it's become a fairly serious problem, for you, for us, for everyone still living under the delusion that these songs were ever awesome... Press play on this episode to let Mark and Tyler free you from the spell of Mr. Seger's past!

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Van Halen Sucks

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