Our mental state, and our subconscious thoughts, influence our physical reality more than we may realize. The stories we tell ourselves and the thoughts we have influence our life experiences, for better or worse.

Various studies over the years have shown that our opinions of others can be influenced by something as simple as the temperature of the drink we have in our hands. In this episode, we explore some sayings from John C. Maxwell and some studies from Dr. Ellen Langer to support this notion.

Dr. Ellen Langer on Rich Roll: LINK

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I recently had the pleasure of taking a trip to visit my best friend and his family on the west coast. I had been planning to visit him out there since he moved but, as often happens, life got in the way. We had seen each other in our hometown over the holidays and in other settings, but it was important to me to make that trip.

Maintaining friendships and relationships takes conscious effort. That said, it is always worth it. Time flies as we get older, and it's easy for years to pass by before we see the people we care about.

My challenge to you this week is to make that effort, to visit a friend, to send a message, to make a call. Do your small part to maintain these relationships because, as we age, they're really all we have.

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Oftentimes when we are pursuing a goal or achievement it seems as if that goal keeps getting further and further away. It can be frustrating to put all our efforts into something, only to see that goal elude us.

This occurs because the result is the one thing that we often can't control. By focusing on an outcome that we can't guarantee, we are destined for disappointment. Focus instead on the process, on why we pursued that thing in the first place.

Additionally, sometimes it makes more sense to pivot than to stay on the path we're on. If we only focus on the outcome, we won't be aware of these pivots points and often won't realize they are a better fit for us. So stay aware, focus on the process, and detach your emotions from an end-result that you can't control. 

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Just like the assumptions we discussed last week, our background and our experiences shape what we believe we are capable of in the future. We often put ourselves in a box and limit our achievement without realizing that we're even doing it.

It's important to gain awareness of these limiting beliefs and where they originate. From there, we can alter them and chart a new path to the future. Additionally, we need to find supportive communities that will empower us on this journey.

If everyone around us is holding us back, we will have a much harder time achieving our potential. Finding those who push us to be better will help us finally overcome our limiting beliefs.

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The way we view the world is influenced by our background, our journey, our experiences, and the people we interact with regularly. It's easy to lose sight of the fact that our opinions and perspectives are based on these factors.

In order to mature and grow, we must regularly question these assumptions. We must look at life through a different lens. We must seek out information we disagree with, and try to understand the perspectives of others.

This is especially important in the politicized, polarized landscape we face now.

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I believe that adaptability is one of the most useful skills we can cultivate and develop as human beings. No matter how much we prepare and plan, life has too many variables for things to go our way. Your plans will be ruined on a daily basis, and the ability to adapt and change course will rapidly set you apart from your peers.

We can learn much from stoicism, but its most important lesson is to accept life as it comes. The longer we delay in accepting our new reality, the longer it will take us to continue making progress. Learning to fill that space, to adjust and act, separates the doers from everyone else.

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We've now talked about how to start your 2024 off right when it comes to goals and habits, but one other simple practice has helped me drastically. In our work spaces and our homes, we naturally accumulate clutter over the years. As we organize and file, this clutter adds up. What seems out of sight is not quite out of mind.

This clutter occupies mental bandwidth that is better spent solving problems and moving forward. By taking some intentional time to declutter, get rid of what you don't need, and reorganize, you can lift this mental weight off your shoulders and go into this year with a clear head.

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As we embark on the new year, there are three practices that will aid you in achieving your goals and resolutions. Each of these is something I've incorporated in my own life and in my clients' lives to great effect. Without them, you are more likely to fall short of what you ultimately want to achieve.

If you want 2024 to be your year, then I highly recommend listening to this week's episode and internalizing its lessons.

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I used to (and sometimes still do) get incredibly frustrated by people who just mail it in on a daily basis in life. The people who show up to work mad at the world, not put together, who couldn't care less about how they interact with people. These individuals go through life contributing very little and causing problems for everyone around them.

What I came to realize is that these people are actually a gift. Aside from the inconvenience of dealing with them in a professional setting, they are making it easier and easier to stand out from the crowd.

If there are a growing number of people who don't care, who don't put in effort, imagine how easy it is to stand out? If you can show up and consistently work hard, opportunities will present themselves to you. Stay the course, do the work, and good things will happen!

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I recently shared a story in my newsletter about an interaction I had with one of my closest friends in college. I asked him how his day was going and his response floored me:

"I only have good days and great days."

Ever since, I've tried to embody this positivity in how I live my life. When someone asks how your day is going, the ripple effect of breaking from the norm and responding in a positive way can be massive. Not only will your quality of life improve, but the lives of those around you will also.

In this episode we also discuss Mo Gawdat's book Solve for Happy and how the simple equation for happiness can change how you think about life.

As always, thanks for tuning in!

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