Very Special Television

“The Bicycle Man: Part 2” February 12, 1983

We’re joined by friend of the show Mike Limata to finish out the Tragedy of The Bicycle Man: Part 2. We last left Arnold (Gary Coleman) and Dudley (Shavar Ross) in the clutches of the vile Bicycle Store owner Mr. Horton (Gordon Jump). Little does Horton know that Mr. Drummond (Conrad Bain) has secretly gone to the bike shop to settle up for Arnold's bike. The boys make their daring escape only to be caught by Kimberly (Dana Plato) and Willis (Todd Bridges) reeking of Horton’s cheap wine. Arnold lies that Dudley’s father gave the boys a sip with dinner. Arnold and Dudley make their way back to the dreaded bicycle shop for one last confrontation. Horton gives the boys more wine and this time shows them some adult themed entertainment featuring everyone’s favorite cartoon mascot Murphy Mouse! This is finally too much for Arnold who takes his generous slice of Boston cream pie and high tails it out of there. Back at the Drummond residence, Dudley’s father Ted (Le Tari) pays Mr. Drummond a visit with a simple request - stop serving my child liquor. Arnold is summoned to explain himself and the pieces finally start to fall into place. Our small band of heroes race to the bicycle shop to save Dudley from certain doom. Will our heroes arrive in time? Will Dudley have given in to the temptation of a roofie-colada? Will Arnold even want to ride that bike after this mess is over and done with? The answer to these questions and more lie within the newest episode of Very Special Television.

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Diff'rent Strokes

The Bicycle Man: Part 1 - February 5, 1983

We hemmed and hawed and dragged our feet until we could drag no longer. We watched The Bicycle Man: Part 1 and I think I need a drink. This "classic" episode of Diff'rent Strokes is one that we here at VSTV get asked about regularly so we reviewed it just for you. For the unfamiliar, Diff'rent Strokes follows Arnold (Gary Coleman) and Willis Jackson (Todd Bridges) - two brothers from Harlem taken in by wealthy Manhattan businessman Philip Drummond (Conrad Bain) and his daughter Kimberly (Dana Plato). This episode begins with Arnold and his school chum Dudley (Shavar Ross) handing out flyers for the bicycle shop owner Mr. Horton (Gordon Jump) - unaware that he is a sexual predator. Horton invites the boys to his apartment behind the bike shop filled with video games, comic books and frozen pizza and serves the boys some wine since "we're all adults here." Gross. Things get weird really fast as Horton starts an impromptu photo session but Arnold and Dudley are still too naive to worry. I'm worried. This episode ends on a cliff-hanger and my nerves are shot! Will Arnold and Dudley make it out this dirt-bag's den of horrors? Will Mr. Drummond go HAM on Horton when he finds out? Will I be able to sleep without a nightlight again? Find out on this episode of Very Special Television!!

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The Drew Carey Show

A Very Special Drew - May 17, 2000

Remember The Drew Carey Show? It was like a less attractive, less glamorous Friends. Some would argue less funny. We here at VSTV would like to take this time to prove that hypothesis. In the year 2000 the folks over at The Drew Carey Show took it upon themselves to skewer this little theme of "very special" episodes with their own entry titled "A Very Special Drew." See the show had never won any Emmy's so they decided to throw in every trick in the book to pull the wool over the eyes of the good voters over at the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. Those titans of comedy at ABC threw in all the very special tropes we've come to know and love. The eating dis-orders, untimely and unexplained maladies, and the stock characters are all on display for full comedic effect. You can take our word on the efficacy of this experiment - the show never won a single Emmy.

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Walker Texas Ranger

Lucas Part 2 - October 18, 1997

We’re finally back with part two of this wack-job of an episode. We’re joined by our favorite Texan Jennifer Mrazek to review the second half of Walker Texas Ranger episode Lucas - otherwise known as the one where the kid from Sixth Sense has AIDS. In case you were wondering, this episode is just as full of child endangerment as the last - more so! Lucas is still having night terrors about the people that tortured him his entire life and Walker’s cure is a good old fashioned sweat lodge. That’s right - nothing better for a sickly child than extreme temperatures without professional medical supervision. Lucas learns his fate and together with Walker goes on a speaking tour of elementary schools talking to kids about living with AIDS. Walker finally takes out Rafer in a final showdown consisting of no less than 8 roundhouse kicks to the face. But there’s one last thing Walker can’t roundhouse kick - AIDS. Lucas dies and I’m never watching another episode of Walker Texas Ranger again. Will Walker ever find the strength to roundhouse kick someone again? Find out in this weeks episode of Very Special Television!

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Lucas: Part 1 October 11, 1997

We've watched some doozies over the past two seasons but this episode, by far, ranks among the most hilariously over the top spectacles we've had the pleasure of reviewing. We watched Walker Texas Ranger with VSTV AllStar Jordan Vena and we are all better people for it. This episode opens the way some of the best 80's action movies closed - with a huge shootout on the grounds of a lavish mansion/drug den. Walker (Chuck Norris) and his band of Texas Rangers clean house with a mixture of short range handgun blasting and roundhouse kicks to the face! Drug King-Pin Rafer Cobb (Brion James) gets away with his moll but they leave behind little Lucas (Haley Joel Osment) in a rat infested closet. Traumatized Lucas won't connect with anyone but Walker as they ride horses, skip stones and ride more horses. Meanwhile it turns out Lucas has full blown AIDS on account of his drug addled hepped up mom Ellen (Mackenzie Phillips). Will Walker track down Rafer and Ellen for a taste of old fashioned Texas Justice? Will Walker take in little Lucas full time? Are roundhouse kicks part of Texas Ranger training? Find out the answers to these any many more questions in this week's episode of Very Special Television!

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Samantha’s Growing Up - January 8, 1985

We’ve attempted to answer the age old question once, but we’re back to dig a little deeper to try and find out... Who’s the Boss? It looks like Samanther (Alyssa Milano) is growing up and Tony (Tony Danza) has to man up and buy her a training brassiere. Angeler (Judith Light) buys Sam a fancy dress for Sam’s 12th birthday party and Tony flips - he cant bare to see Sam growing up! Tony needs to decide on his birthday gift for Sam - a new baseball glove or some jewelry to go with her new wardrobe. All the while, Mona (Katherine Helmond) gets in some jabs at Angela’s figure, style of dress and general spinster-ness. Classic Mona. Will Tony allow Sam to grow up? Will Sam forsake sports for sugar and spice and everything nice? Has Jonathan (Danny Pintauro) secretly been the Boss the whole time? As always, the answers to all these questions and more, lie within tonight’s episode of Very Special Television!

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You Say Potatoe, I Say Potato (Parts 1 & 2), September 21, 1992

It’s the summer of re-boot-mania and Very Special Television is getting in on the action. We spent some time with the very funny Kelly Hardy to watch 90’s workplace political satire, Murphy Brown. If you’re not familiar, Murphy Brown followed the news team at FYI, a fictional news program led by Murphy Brown (Candace Bergen) a tough-talking recovering alcoholic, take-no-prisoners investigative reporter. Now follow along with me here - Murphy (the character) becomes pregnant and decides to have the baby out of wedlock. This fictional story line caught the attention of then-Vice President Dan Quayle - who used it as a platform for conservative republicans to bash liberal television personalities who are ruining traditional family values. The show treated this as if Quayle was speaking directly to Brown the character, as she was a public figure in the world of the show. Listen with us as we try to navigate this Möbius Strip of an episode. Will Murphy ever land herself a husband? Will Dan Quayle ever win a 5th grade spelling bee? Will we watch the Murphy Brown reboot? As always the answers to all these questions and more lie within this weeks episode of Very Special Television!

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Dawson's Creek “Reunited” May 12, 1999

We’re joined by very special guest, and friend of the podcast, the very funny Jessica Boyle to watch quintessential 90’s teen-angst drama Dawson’s Creek. This weeks episode finds Andie (Meredith Monroe) seeing ghostly images of her dead brother Tim (Scott Denny) around Capeside. Pacey (Joshua Jackson) is struggling with a girlfriend in the throes of mental health crisis but we the audience get saddled with some Parent Trap-esque farce by way of Dawson (James Van Der Beek) trying (and failing) to get his separated parents to have dinner with each other. Andie has a pretty harsh breakdown in her mansion and rather than call 911, Pacey and Jack (Kerr Smith) attempt to use their teen-wisdom to almost literally talk Andie off the ledge. She’s pretty far gone though - I mean what sane teenage girl would willingly dye her hair from blonde to brown? The Leery family drama requires graphs and visual aids to maintain the sheer amount of characters coming in and out of doors - suffice it to say, these teens really need to mind their own damn business and Capeside could really use an Olive Garden. Will Pacey and Andie’s love win out? Will Mr. & Mrs. Leery get back together? Will Andie ever go back to blonde? The answers to these questions and more lie within this weeks episode of Very Special Television!!

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“Beer Bad” November 2, 1999

We’re joined by most excellent friend of the podcast Autumn Brannon to watch the infamous Buffy The Vampire Slayer episode Beer Bad. In case during the early 2000’s you were living under a rock, in a drunken haze or a... millennial - Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and her fast-talking teen pals were tasked with saving their hometown of Sunnydale (and the world) from various mythical creatures of lore. Vampires being the sexiest monsters got to be in the title but Buffy and friends got to face off against a menagerie of cryptozoology every week for our viewing pleasure. With all that going on - this episode still left us thinking “I don’t buy it.” Buffy is reeling from being rebuffed by teen lothario Parker (Adam Kaufman). Xander (Nicholas Brendon) has gotten himself a job at the local pub but is constantly getting dressed down by the snobby college kids. Buffy drowns her sorrows with beer (bad) and said super-date-rapey college snobs, and they all mysteriously start to devolve into cave teens. You see the bar owner knows a warlock who gave him the spell to teach these snob-bros a lesson. Will Xander save Buffy before she goes full Clan of the Cave Bear? Will Buffy save Sunnydale from herself? Is Giles (Anthony Stewart Head) even in this episode? As always, the answers to all these questions and more lie within the spooky depths of this week's episode of Very Special Television!

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Blossom “Meat” (January 24th, 1994)

This week, friend of the show Jeff Adams joins us to watch a bonkers episode of Blossom. As you know Blossom was the 90’s smash sitcom about the exploits of a precocious teenager, Blossom Russo (Mayim Bialik) and her bumbling, but well-intentioned family. Do you remember the time when Blossom and her father went “vegetarian”? Or the time Blossom kinda stepped out on her boyfriend then yelled at him for it? Or the time Tony (Michael Stoyanov) and Shelly (Samaria Graham) had a racist waiter? Or the time Six (Jenna von Oy) was an alcoholic out of nowhere and went to rehab?! Did your jaws drop when you realized these marvels of TV writing were ALL IN THE SAME EPISODE OF BLOSSOM?! You’ve got to watch this episode... it is so insane. Join us for this week’s episode of Very Special Television!!

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