Being Nice is a social conditioning dynamic designed to help us be polite and avoid conflict. Kind-is truthful and usually results in some form of action. Love is Kind, not nice! Be Kind to yourself, not nice! References: Speaking the truth in love. Ephesians 4:15

*If you don’t confront evil, you are part of the problem. Ezekiel 33:8

*If someone has an issue with you, confront them. Mathew 18:15

*Love your neighbour as yourself. Leviticus 19:18

*Love is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4. https://www.meditationmag.com/blog/nice-vs-kind/ * *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes & designed to raise awareness. It is not intended as Medical or Therapy advice. I encourage each person to make a person-centred decision with the guidance of their local GP or Qualified professional.

Be courageous enough to be authentic in your presentation of who you are. Loving yourself first, means you can then connect to others from a secure base-otherwise you are a sad people pleaser who extracts value from serving others. You come first. You can’t give out what you haven’t given yourself first. *References: 2 Corinthians 10:12, https://www.stephanspeaks.com/ *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes & designed to raise awareness. It is not intended as Medical or Therapy advice. I encourage each person to make a person-centred decision with the guidance of their local GP or Qualified professional.

As a child, you depend on parents or guardians to advocate for and create a safe space for you to thrive. Unfortunately life may have not gone that way and you found yourself facing insurmountable difficulties. Adaptations and people pleasing were some of the survival mechanisms you may have used. Sadly those adaptations that were once a lifesaver are now a major weakness in your adult life. Take heart, you can do something about it. *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes & designed to raise awareness. It is not intended as Medical or Therapy advice. I encourage each person to make a person-centred decision with the guidance of their local GP or Qualified professional. Village14

Have you ever felt like “maybe if I was good enough, you wouldn’t hurt me this way or you would not abandon me?”

It's better to be honest about your true desires than be in relationships feeling dissatisfied. Yet it comes at a price. You are worth it. *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes & designed to raise awareness. It is not intended as Medical or Therapy advice. I encourage each person to make a person-centred decision with the guidance of their local GP or Qualified professional.

Are you hurting, disappointed because you loved or gave a lot?

Look carefully, because this pain may not be the result of you having given a lot. It may be the result of you having ignored a lot of what you were not getting.

In this episode I talk about why you didn’t articulate your needs, why you allowed pieces of you to be eaten away in the name of love, and why you need to listen to what this pain is telling you today. *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical or Therapy advice. I encourage each person to make a person-centred decision with the guidance of their local GP or Qualified professional.

References:

M Hussey https://youtu.be/qW7eC_BAqhQ

Luke 6:38,

John 3:16,

Lisa Bilyeu-Women of impact.

#Deep

When YOUR reality is DISMISSED…

Don’t:

Defend, (u feel what u feel, defend means u feel they not willing to see from your point)

Engage, (avoid going in the mud)

Explain, (coz u digging a self hole)

Personalise (It’s never about you, it’s them using people to dump their negative feelings, instead of self-regulating & then loving people)

*Don’t give away your psychological passwords, (your deep vulnerabilities) coz they will use it against you. [Reference: Dr Ramani, https://youtu.be/_n0v8jGJrt8] *People will always use ur vulnerabilities agains you, unless if they love you unconditionally!

Mathew 26:64.

Grandiosity-Proverbs 6:16-19 haughty spirit

Little or no Empathy-Mathew 23:23

Gaslighting-Genesis 31:43 (denying someone’s reality)

Deceitfulness-Genesis 31:36 Jacob finds courage to break away from the narcissist after 20 years.

God is also a God of division-Genesis 31:45 onwards.

Divorce/separation/sword/division. *DISCLAIMER: These podcasts are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of their GP or qualified professional.

Takers have no limits. You have to set boundaries, be conscious & intentional about loving yourself. Service your social connections and retain people whose faces light up when they see you. Find your Jonathan (people that are into you, for you and against what you are against). Know how to self-regulate and live to thrive, not just exist. Ref: Luke 6:38, Mark 12:31, Exodus 18, 1 Kings 19, Philippians 2, Mark 1:35-40, Churchlink.com, Melinda Smith, M.A., Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Lawrence Robinson, and Robert Segal, M.A (April 2017), T. D Jakes https://youtu.be/2M3vzM8YT4o *Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is NOT intended for medical/Therapy advise. We encourage each person to make a person centred decision that seems best for their situation with professional guidance…starting from their local GP.

Your feelings are informed by your values. When tripped you react, even positively, you react with joy, gladness, happiness.

There’s agency (power & ability) in righteous anger, but for some people it takes them long to muster that…Speak up & advocate for themselves. You matter too [Mathew 5:23-24, 18:15-18, Luke 17:3, Mathew 6:23. *DISCLAIMER: This podcast is for information & educational purposes only and is not intended as professional advice. Please consult with your GP if you have any personal questions.

What happened to you—after what was done to you?

Romans 5:13…Its not about apportioning blame.

What’s happening now that you can trace to then?

The trauma is in how you disconnected from your authentic self, in order to survive.

There’s support to enable you to move on today… * Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and is not intended for medical or therapy advise. I always encourage each person to make decisions that are person centred for their situation with guidance from professionals.

References:ConnectAbility.ca Ephesians 4:26,James 5:16 (NKJV Bible) 1) It’s ok to be angry, 2) Don’t destroy property, 3) Don’t hurt yourself, 4) Don’t hurt others, 5) Talk to someone safe about it, 6) Take time to listen and hear what the feeling/emotion/situation is telling you. *DISCLAIMER: Village 14 is a podcast platform for educational purposes only. It is not intended as a medical/psychological/therapy advice. We always encourage each person to make personal decisions suited for their situation with their GP or suitably qualified professional.