Voices in the Dark

This is one of the best interviews we've ever done. We sat down with Erick Godsey to talk metaprogramming: the science and art of changing your fundamental habits to become the best version of yourself.

Metaprogramming means becoming aware of the stories you've been telling yourself about yourself, mostly unconsciously, and often with negative consequences... And then going a step further to consciously create a new, better, and more authentic one.

Erick has spent years dissecting how we can make genuine, lasting change to our lives, and how to avoid the pitfalls which claim 99% of everyone's shiny new resolutions. And for Erick, this has been a deeply personal journey.

From living in a state of fear, working in a fast food chain wondering if his life would ever become what he knew it could be, Erick dedicated himself to reading psychology, psychoanalysis and philosophy, but all with the aim of making practical, real-life changes.

So how can we map our consciousness – to understand the basic building blocks that are the foundations on which our ego, identity, and everything else we consider to be 'me' is built? We head into some dark places to find the gold that hides inside – turning shit into sugar, or, as Carl Jung put it, 'in the filth, it will be found'.

Erick's podcast is a laboratory in which he draws out the guests' fundamental habits and programming. But in this interview we use a powerful psychological exercise to turn the tables and delve into Erick's own unconscious.

You can play along too and discover how your own parents or parental figures have each programmed you one way or another – inflecting you with their own coping mechanisms, hang-ups, and also indirectly nurturing in you your own coping mechanisms whenever you feel your fundamental needs are unmet.

We can go through our whole lives unconsciously acting out these patterns, but the Card 3 Exercise brings them directly, bracingly into focus and allows us to begin the acknowledging, healing and then metaprogramming process to move forwards and to grow as more conscious, self-aware human beings.

Erick then turns the tables right back on us and starts digging into the stories we both tell ourselves! We get into psychedelic emergencies, the traps of Autism and depression, and how we've each learnt to tell ourselves better stories.

Take The Test:

• DOWNLOAD the Card 3 Exercise and discover the stories you're telling yourself without even realising it: Card 3 Exercise

Also In This Episode:

• Psychedelics and how they can help make, break and remake the habits that define us
• How to help the people who don't want to be helped
• The emotional healing powers of MDMA
• Where intuition comes from
• The curious difference between feelings and thoughts
• Creating and understanding your own emotional Pantheon
• Why we spend so much time generating fears for ourselves

Find Erick:

• The Metaprogramming Podcast – website, on iTunes, and on Facebook
• Make friends with Erick on Facebook

Find Out More:

• Robert Anton Wilson's epic book, Prometheus Rising
• Tim Ferriss's legendary The 4-Hour Work Week
• Our original, exclusive interview with the Enlightened Entrepreneur, Peter Sage
• Jon's article for High Existence on self-harm
• Erick's pick for self-reflection and understanding, The Artist's Way, which includes the Morning Pages exercise

This episode explores the psychology of sharing and over-sharing; understanding and cultivating true friendship; how to use your own eyes rather than society's rulebook; and how to judge which role models are genuinely worth emulating.

Countless thousands of people have turned to Stoicism as a tool for self-development, but how do we even start improving ourselves without shunning aspects we don't like: you can't cut off your arm and not injure yourself in the process.

And how can we improve ourselves when the wisest philosophers we've had can't even agree whether a 'self' exists at all? Dre breaks down the biology and psychology of this, while Jon highlights the powerful but often-ignored parallels between Stoicism and Buddhism.

What is modern friendship, in the hyper-connected yet strangely cold world of social media? Jon explains what 'contextual friendships' are and why we shouldn't value (or dismiss) them too quickly.

In this letter, Seneca asks what the point of learning is if we don't share that knowledge with others, but this prompts us to ask what are the limits of sharing? Where's the line between sharing life and experience and simply dumping your baggage on everyone else around you?

We dig into where the healthy balance lies; why American culture over-shares and yet reaps unexpected benefits from doing so; and how watching The Lion King taught Dre a fundamental lesson in personal confidence.

Humans are pattern-recognition machines, but society teaches us to switch off those skills and read the cultural rulebook instead. So how often are you wasting time grumbling about how things ought to be, rather than working on the evidence before your own eyes?

Jon shares personal stories of how some of the smartest professors in Oxford are utterly dysfunctional as humans; Dre drops the bombshell that RuPaul has been quoting Seneca for years; and we both unpack the reality behind our own friendship and why it's so strong even though we spend most of the time vehemently disagreeing with each other.

Also Including:

• Does self-improvement mean not accepting yourself for who you are?
• Are we ever friends with people who aren't like us?
• Can we enjoy things without other people to share them with?
• Radical Honesty: the life philosophy that can get you laid and get you ostracised in the same hour
• The cardinal law: Show, don't tell; Experience, don't read
• Learning from someone's character rather than their words
• Dre's theory on why emotions are overrated and misleading

Find Out More:

• Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code for Seneca's letters
• The full text for free on WikiSource
• Ryan Holiday's superb and accessible book on Stoicism: The Obstacle is the Way
• Tim Ferriss's brilliant TED talk on 'fear setting' and Stoicism
• Esther Perel's hugely popular TED talks on relationships and infidelity

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Self-development – becoming better humans – is what Voices in the Dark is all about. But how do we set about it without showing off, making others feel insecure, or adopting the obnoxious air of the 'oh look how simple a life I lead' bohemian?

Being egotistical about how much you've worked on your ego is the next, subtle trap along the path to self-improvement. So how can we avoid it?

Seneca has some answers, but we don't agree with all of them.

We talk about how to present yourself so that others will follow your example and warm to your cause; how to avoid blinding yourself to the good parts of otherwise 'bad' people; and why Donald Trump wants to paint everything gold.

Human nature has its own traps, too: we have to watch out for our own (self)destructive animal and tribal behaviours before we end up copying others rather than becoming ourselves.

As Seneca warns, 'It is the sign of an unstable mind not to be able to endure riches'. There's a panoply of under-acknowledged mental illnesses in our society surrounding wealth and pleasure. We throw the spotlight on these and why it's just as dysfunctional to deny yourself the opportunity to enjoy privilege as it is to be, well, Donald Trump.

This is all about action, though. Philosophy has to be useful to be worthwhile – it's about living the Good Life, not analysing life into a dusty grave.

Needless to say, there's also time to contemplate the importance to life of pizza and anal.

Including:

• Is Tim Ferriss really following this advice?
• Wanting the finer things in life for the right reasons
• On not getting a 20-foot cock extension
• Why Dre only trusts militant vegans
• White Knight syndrome
• Why money can't buy you taste
• Why hope and fear always go hand in hand

Find Out More:

• Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code
• The full text for free on WikiSource
• Ryan Holiday's superb and accessible book on Stoicism: [easyazon_link identifier="1591846358" locale="US" tag="vointhda06-20"]The Obstacle is the Way[/easyazon_link]
• Tim Ferriss's brilliant TED talk on 'fear setting' and Stoicism

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

You forget to look before crossing the street; your foot slips as you walk down the stairs... and it's all over. Are you ready? Can you be at peace with that?

The Stoics took care to remind themselves of death: Memento mori. In the cutthroat world of the Romans, this could be all too close, but we all so easily forget that death can turn up any moment.

And yet most people are caught between the fear of death and the unwillingness to live. We're too scared of losing things – possessions, jobs, relationships – to actually enjoy having them at all.

As Seneca hammers home, the secret to a good life is to remember death: that it will all be taken from us in an instant, so we'd best make the most of now.

What's the point of living a life worrying about something we cannot change? Seneca doesn't think it's worth the time at all... But Dre's still planning to live forever, and with advances in modern technology this could soon become a reality. What would that mean for our lives, friendships, values, and goals, though?

On the other hand, if this was the last day of your life, wouldn't you just eat ice cream rather than fulfil all your ambitions, only for them to vanish?

This episode, we get into some serious disagreements about whether there's any point in being afraid of death; we hear Jon's plans to wank on mountains and read an entire library; and Dre adamantly refuses to die.

Including:

• Why most old people are dicks
• Dre's plans for immortality and why you're too weak for it
• Would there be any morality in a world without death?
• Learning to be OK with being terrified
• How long would you choose to live if you could remain physically 22?

Find Out More:

• Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code
• The full text for free on WikiSource
• Tim Ferriss's brilliant TED talk on 'fear setting' and Stoicism

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Who would you help to bury a body? Just how good a friend would they need to be?

Would they do it for you? How can you be sure?

Friendship is deeply human, but it's something we frequently take for granted and make foolish assumptions about. It's time to give it another, deeper look.

This episode, we debate what Stoicism has to tell us about true friendship, what trust really means, and how to build the personal bonds we want in our lives.

What do we even mean by 'friend', anyway?

Seneca thought that a friend is someone you trust as much as you trust yourself – but what does that really mean? Do you trust yourself? And why should we trust someone else with every part of our inner lives?

The English language doesn't make enough distinction between close friends and casual acquaintances. And without clearer distinctions, we blur the boundaries and make fateful, harmful choices.

Sociological research tells us that some of the closest trust bonds are forged outside conventional society: by criminals, vagabonds and misfits. Inside society, we're often too busy being polite to notice that we're being taken for a ride (often by our own stupidity).

Trusting someone with your secrets isn't the same as trusting them to turn up on time; trusting someone to have your back isn't the same as trusting them to look after your kids. But do you take enough time to consciously consider the difference?

We explain how to craft a healthy, powerful friendship or relationship, and how so many people poison them from within. We break down the John Watson Dynamic and how it can simultaneously strengthen your own character and other people's.

Jon shares how he's learnt how to make better decisions about when to keep his cards close to his chest, and the time his friend's dad decided to admit he had an affair (while en route to a strip club). Dre refuses to work out with Aubrey Marcus and reveals who he'd do jail time for (it's not you).

Including:

• Different kinds of trust and how to pick the right one for every situation
• Remember: In the right circumstances anyone can betray you
• Why Americans are friendly – but only superficially
• Russian friendship and why it's better
• A dirty secret: we all have best friends and parents all have a favourite kid
• Life Hack: Treat people how you want them to behave
• Don't put your soul on the line for just anybody

Find Out More:

• Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code
• The full text for free on WikiSource
• Tim Ferriss's brilliant TED talk on 'fear setting' and Stoicism
• Ryan Holiday's books on Stoicism: The Obstacle is the Way and The Daily Stoic
• Carsie Blanton's beautiful song, To Be Known
• And Carsie's Kickstarter project, The F'n Truth
• Diego Gambetta, Codes of the Underworld

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

We all like to keep our options open – to play the field, diversify our portfolios, enjoy the freedom of an all-you-can-eat buffet. But there's a catch – a hidden, bitter price-tag we overlook at our peril.

Freedom without focus is a merciless dream killer. The superficial succeed only at getting fat, complacent and insecure.

Breadth and quality do not go hand in hand. The most successful and creative people don't prize knowing a little about a lot – they know when to pick an interest, business or project and drill down deep to mine the gold within.

In this first episode of our new series on Stoicism, we explore the Stoic master Seneca's timeless advice on how to do the same in your own life.

Whether it's showing off at the Roman Senate or chasing Likes on Instagram, Seneca's wisdom cuts to the core of the issue.

The answers are deceptively simple – but are you up to the challenge?

This Episode Includes:

• Learning to focus your efforts on those areas and skills which are truly worth your attention
• How the brain processes information and which conditions promote fresh thinking
• Reading a book a day might sound impressive, but it's getting you nowhere
• Why the creative process often happens when we're not trying
• Knowing when to stop looking and recognise that something is worthy of your full attention
• How to read in spirals and why you should start now
• Why humans have been telling the same stories for millennia

Dre also unleashes a trick for how you can learn anything from anything and Jon reflects on how he found true happiness in cheesecake.

Find Out More:

• Like us on Facebook to ask for the Audible download code
• The full text for free on WikiSource
• Tim Ferriss's brilliant TED talk on 'fear setting' and Stoicism
• Ryan Holiday's books on Stoicism: The Obstacle is the Way and The Daily Stoic
• For cheesecake and other culinary delights, check out The Suited Chef

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Ever been on a white-knuckle cosmic sleigh ride over the mountain peaks of enlightenment? Would you like to?

They call it the Spirit Molecule. Just a few quick breaths of DMT, and reality dissolves around you, thrusting you into another dimension and bringing you back again in time for tea.

For some, it's a super-powered psychologist who cuts right to the core of your deepest fears and traumas. But that's not what happened when Dre took it for the first time, live on this episode.

We hit record right before and immediately after Dre sucked on a homemade crack pipe and launched himself into the next dimension.

Julian Deane – a leading UK comedian – joined us to trip-sit and to share his own terrifying experiences with DMT. It helped him to overcome addiction and confronted him with his own ego games... And yet, he wonders, couldn't we discover all of this through yoga and meditation instead? Without all the terror?

Despite his long personal history with psychedelics, this is Dre's first time trying what many call the most powerful psychedelic in the world.

So how does DMT measure up? Controversially, Dre doesn't think you can really learn anything from it... and yet he wants to go back for more. Why?

Find Out More:

• Julian's website
• The Spirit Molecule book

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Do you know what makes the perfect dram?

By popular demand, we delve back into the world of whisky – the essential drink of the modern Renaissance Man. And this time, we've got insider knowledge from Jon's brother, David.

David's managed whisky shops on Edinburgh's iconic Royal Mile – the ancient cobbled street running between the castle and Holyrood Palace. He started by answering a job ad on Gumtree, before working his way up to running stores and selling whiskies to celebrities and Texan oil barons alike. As you'd expect, he's got a few stories to share...

So how did he get into whisky in the first place; how do you become an expert in selecting and drinking it; and why is it informally known as 'baby cocaine'?

Who actually buys a £5,000 bottle of whisky, and how did James Bond manage to skyrocket one distillery's fortunes overnight?

We dissect how to taste whisky properly and to discover which is the perfect dram for you.

What happens behind the scenes? Why does it take at least 3 years to make whisky; what dodgy stuff do whisky companies get up to when the cops aren't looking; and why are Angels constantly getting drunk on the fumes?

Jon and David also share drinking tales from the isles of Scotland to the Moscow winter; when Jon was stalked by a rabid Harry Potter fan; and why whisky tasting is basically the same as rimming. This is a deeply cultured episode.

Find Out More:

• The iconic Glencairn whisky glass

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Legalise drugs? Sounds crazy, right? Think again.

Drug policy isn't shaped by medical, sociological, or psychological data. It's shaped by tabloid scare stories and politicians' fears of losing the conservative vote.

This week we speak to researchers and activists Anna Ross and Rosalind Roux to dig behind the headlines and into the actual data (as well as some truly surprising insights into what politicians really say behind closed doors).

Anna brings a sociological and legal perspective to drugs and makes it clear that there's no real moral or philosophical basis for current legislation. Rosalind focuses on the psychological and mental health aspects, as well as sharing her involvement with the growing movement of Students for Sensible Drug Policy network.

We ask why drug policy advisors are routinely ignored by politicians; where addiction actually comes from (it's not from the drugs); and how governments fiddle the figures, avoid the facts, and ignore the realities... at least in public.

There's still some cause for hope, though. It turns out there's a little-known moral crusade underway in Durham by the Police Commissioner, who's using his local power and funding to quietly decriminalising many substances. Is this the beginning of a revolution?

We also share our personal stories of how to come out of the psychedelic closet to your friends and family and begin your own quiet revolution at home.

Find Out More:

• The Scottish Drug Policy Conversations
• Medicinal Cannabis Reform Scotland
• Students for Sensible Drug Policy group
• Dr Gabor Maté's work on the personal realities of addiction

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.

Are you easily offended? It's time to ask yourself why.

Offence is taken, not given. So do comedians really have a responsibility to tip-toe round your sensitivities?

Comedy is never a safe space, and yet in a world of Social Justice Warriors, comedians are running scared of saying the 'wrong' thing.

Is there such a thing as going 'too far' in comedy? What does 'offence' really mean, and why is the comedy world increasingly cracking down on anyone who isn't a virtue-signalling leftie?

Our guests this week are two brilliant stand-up comedians whose own podcast, Probably Offensive, was immediately banned on iTunes, so they know a thing or two about censorship.

We dive into the world of identity politics and discuss why it's OK to assume people's race but not their gender; who gets a free-pass to make gay and ethnic jokes; and why Francis is so damn white.

Mental health stalks the green rooms of comedy, but Nick rejects the myth of the Sad Clown. Even if anxiety and depression seem all too common in the industry, do we really need to suffer to be funny and creative?

Find out why some people become comedians – and why they should always be ugly; just how much mental abuse Francis receives from his mum; and what it's like opening for Eddie Izzard.

Anxiety and mental breakdowns aside, we talk dating apps and the caustic effect they can have on interpersonal communication.

Also featuring: Sexism, Daleks, and Sex-Daleks.

Find Out More:

• Nick and Francis's awesome and hilarious podcast Probably Offensive
• Nick's Twitter; Francis's Twitter
• Probably Offensive on Facebook and Twitter

Be Silly. Be Kind. Be Weird.