Voices of Deconversion

A truly touching and inspiring story.

Christianity was everything for Timoree. It helped her with sobriety, mental illness and was a source of comfort. You can imagine that when faith begins to fracture, how unsettling and scary it was for her. 

The most important things in her life were at stake. Somehow, she still found the courage to face this challenge head on. Timoree tells the tearful, but moving stories of how she told her husband and children that she is not a Christian. Her son is a youth pastor! 

The beautiful thing about her story is the emphasis on relationships: our relationships with our spouse, children and friends. The value of having good people in our life is priceless. 

 

Janice was an all-or-nothing kind of Christian.

Her life takes a turn toward fundamentalism when her husband is going to school to be a pastor. She chooses to show her submission to her husband by wearing a head covering and not wearing jewelry or make-up. She went through some tremendously difficult experiences: Her daughter's illness, difficulties in her marriage and a family member jailed for murder.

Janice brings amazing insight regarding how we see faith through the lens of our personality. She talks about how as Christians, there was always the danger of fundamentalism becoming our identity. As fundamentalist Christians, if faith is questioned it can be interpreted as a threat to our personhood. Now an Agnostic-Atheist Janice has focused her time and energy into helping others.

Check out her Divorcing Religion Workshop at: http://www.divorcingreligion.com

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Janice was born and raised in a charismatic Christian home, attending Pentecostal, Vineyard, and other evangelical churches before eventually marrying a pastor. In her 30s, Janice became ultraconservative, donning a head-covering, homeschooling her children, and rejecting any vestiges of secular life (TV, radio, music, newspapers, magazines, etc.).“I referred to myself as ‘Mennocostal,’ frequently attending closed Mennonite churches run by the Holdemann Mennonites.” It wasn’t until her 40s that Janice began experiencing doubts about her deeply held faith. As her marriage unraveled, her questions grew. “I felt like a beach ball held beneath the water for too long. My sadness, confusion, and anger became so intense that I knew I had to leave it all behind.”

After ending her decades-long marriage, Janice went back to school to attain her Diploma of Applied Psychology and Counselling.“My passion is to help others who are experiencing the tremendous losses associated with religious de-conversion. My own journey could have been easier if I had been able to connect with even one other person who had walked away from their faith and built a healthy life afterward.”  These painful experiences influenced Janice to develop the Divorcing Religion workshop so that others can gain knowledge and tools to help with their own journey out of fundamentalist religions.  In the workshop, she helps participants gain perspective about their journey, build supportive communities, and learn how to avoid being ensnared by other forms of fundamentalism in the future.

 

 

Today I had the pleasure of speaking with Cheryl Abram. 

She's author of the book Firing God. Check it out on her website: https://www.cherylabram.com/about

So many great stories in this episode! We hear how her southern Louisiana family is chalk full of deacons and ministers. She attended Church 6-days a week! As things get more difficult later in life, she finds herself giving God one-last go. Her pastor gives her a book to read. What she reads in that book causes her to tell God to F*** Off.

On a lighter note, she cracked me up with her story of watching Christopher Hitchens debates secretly in her room. So awesome & so hilarious! 

At the end of our conversation she elaborates on the meaning behind the title, Firing God. I loved her explanation so much. It was such an empowering idea. I trust you'll love it too.

What a Journey!

Joy was 3 when separated from her siblings and family of origin. It happened without warning. Her foster family were fundamentalist Christians in Idaho. 

She grew up in the church and had mostly a positive experience. She got lots of attention and love in church. As a child her feet get run over by a lawnmower. She believes God can heal her and goes in front of the church to be healed.

Later in life she marries, becomes a missionary in Taiwan and raises 6 kids in the church. When one of her daughters returns from a trip to Europe her views have changed, and Joy noticed!

As a Christian mother, Joy is very unsettled by her daughter's new views. However, down the road when Joy begins to research and question her own beliefs, her daughter is excited to hear about it!

Joy eventually sits down with all her children to share her new views. Her message to her children is unconditional love and support, no matter what they choose to believe for themselves.

Joy Hopper's memoir is called Joy Unspeakable: Toxic Faith and Rose-Colored Glasses. You can find it in paperback or Kindle. 

https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Unspeakable-Hopper/dp/1640824456

 

Today I finally had the privilege to meet Cass Midgley!

His podcast (Everyone's Agnostic) was the first podcast I found that shared deconversion stories. This has been so encouraging to me through the years and played a big role in helping me process my deconversion.

He's an open book and a straight shooter. The longer you listen to Cass, the more you'll discover an incredibly insightful, compassionate and generous human being. 

Cass Midgley earned his Masters in Theological Studies from Vanderbilt University in 2013…as an atheist. Cass started the Everyone's Agnostic podcast in 2014 with friend and former co-host Bob Pondillo. Everyone's Agnostic podcast now has over half a million downloads! 

As a boy, Cass knew there was a God; the two were close, personal friends.  Born and raised in Oklahoma, Cass walked right into Christianity. Christianity gave him a great life: purpose, friends, community, hope, etc.   ​ In 2004, at age 38, he left the church and began thinking and reading things he would not allow himself to while a Christian.  ​When not uniting the deconvert community, Cass also enjoys his daily crossword puzzle, watching college basketball, and drinking cheap gin & tonic with lots of lime. Cass is also a Humanist Chaplain who officiates non-religious weddings and funerals for all genders and orientations. 

I want to update all of you on what's been happening since the last episode. This is a brief update on some personal stuff and also some podcast stuff. 

I'm currently editing my episode with Cass Midgley of Everyone's Agnostic podcast. That will be out in the coming days.

Thanks for being such awesome listeners! I appreciate you all.

Loved this conversation! 

What a fascinating and unique experience. April has so many wonderful stories to share.

Some highlights: Her parents immigration from Korea, the origin of their Christianity, Korean superstitions and what it was like to be raised Presbyterian. She's forced to speak in tongues as a child. She later decides to go to Seminary and is a youth pastor for several years.

She experiences regular stress, sickness and depression as a Christian. Church history opens her eyes. When she stops going to church, her sickness stops and her liberation begins!

She taught in Georgia Public Schools for 24 years. She loves to travel and also spends time helping new immigrants to America get registered to vote.

Today we hear from Austrian Graf and Steve Birss of Lethbridge, Alberta. They discuss their new song "Heathen" and share their diverse journeys out of charismatic Christianity. 

Each was raised by a single mom. However, their mothers influenced them in very unique ways. 

We talk about the Jesus movement, leg lengthening, calvinism and Christian tattoos. We hear about the impact of drug dealing and jail, overcoming an eating disorder and healing from trauma. 

A wonderful and positive takeaway-learning that we have the power within ourselves to overcome life's difficulties. Another great takeaway- learning to repurpose and redefine our experience. Last but not least-being gracious to ourselves.

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Today I have the privilege of speaking with author Dauv Evans. Dauv shares his journey out of Christianity and we discuss his book "Emancipation of a Black Atheist". 

2012 was a decisive year for Dauv. He got married, had a child and moved from North Carolina to Tennessee. This is also when Dauv started seriously questioning why he believed in God.  

His mother always taught him to think critically when he was growing up. This value instilled in childhood became pivotal to his journey. When Dauv tells his mother he's not a Christian, she initially responds predictably. It's only later that he discovers her feelings were much more complicated. 

Dauv's wife becomes an ex-Christian too (still considering herself spiritual). They decide to share the news with her family. Dauv's family and his wife's family have various intriguing responses. Their experience will resonate with anyone who has come-out ex-Christian to Christian family members.  

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