'Who makes or invests millions on a high-seas epic about lesbian pirates written by a complete unknown? Nobody. '

He listened silently before thanking me for my time and then I retreated feeling like the most micro-brained fool in the writing world. Who makes or invests millions on a high-seas epic about lesbian pirates written by a complete unknown? Nobody.

'Iain Banks said there was a secret website called www.ideasforwriters.com; ‘You just go there and it generates ideas for you’. '

When the time came for audience questions, the late, great Iain Banks got the inevitable one. Without pausing he said there was a secret website called www.ideasforwriters.com; ‘You just go there and it generates ideas for you’.

'While it’s true that most writers get better at receiving negative feedback, to have too hard a skin can be synonymous with no longer caring about your work.'

People will tell you to shrug it off, to develop a thick skin. I’m not sure this is entirely helpful. While it’s true that most writers get better at receiving negative feedback, to have too hard a skin can be synonymous with no longer caring about your work.

'My desert island discs luxury would be my MacBook, a solar-powered battery and a satellite-based broadband connection. What do you mean, that's cheating?'

My desert island discs luxury would be my MacBook, a solar-powered battery and a satellite-based broadband connection. What do you mean, that's cheating? On their own, none of them is more useful on a desert island than a rock.

'You're doing the right thing by reading everything you can. All the words you've consumed so far, and will do, have infused into the brain I have now. '

You're doing the right thing by reading everything you can. All the words you've consumed so far, and will do, have infused into the brain I have now. So, thank you! You've flavoured it like gin, with the best botanicals. And you'll like gin, later, as well.

'Then my parents got sick, and suddenly life wasn't solely about the highs and lows of school friendships and pet ownership, and adventures on holiday in Cornwall. '

Then my parents got sick, and suddenly life wasn't solely about the highs and lows of school friendships and pet ownership, and adventures on holiday in Cornwall. It was dark and scary and challenging and very difficult to understand. So I wrote about it.

'The rich, mellifluous word-music of Dylan Thomas spills into my drab winter morning like sunshine. In that moment, I learn the power of the spoken word.'

Some are bemused, some boys think the whole thing is ridiculous. But for me, the rich, mellifluous word-music of Dylan Thomas spills into my drab winter morning like sunshine. In that moment, I learn the power of the spoken word.

'Is soIs one a writer first and a human second? Many writers have outed themselves and said so. '

Is something missing in the human department? Is one a writer first and a human second? Many writers have outed themselves and said so. And if they didn’t say so, they were too busy smelting other people’s lives into prose to notice.

'I was relieved to find myself, in this hopeless longing for the inanimate, in the company of Nabokov.'

I find myself, in this hopeless longing for the inanimate, in the company of Nabokov,

who, target shooting at a fair, won a porcelain pig. He writes: ‘I abandoned it on the shelf at the hotel when I left town. In doing so, I condemned myself to remember it'.

'This impetus to make Ovid ‘new’ resulted in various narratives of bodily modification, from sex changes to the extreme body artist Orlan'

This impetus to make Ovid ‘new’ resulted in various narratives of bodily modification, from sex changes to the extreme body artist Orlan, who through plastic surgery recreates herself as mythic figures. This sort of ‘translation’ is a large part of how I write.