'Keats describes his exact bodily position as he is writing, with his back to the fire, one foot on the rug and the other dangling over it. '

Keats describes his position as he is writing, with his back to the fire, one foot on the rug and the other dangling over it. He considered it would be a great delight to know the exact bodily position in which Shakespeare began ‘To be or not to be’.

'The business side of things – knowing how to file your taxes, claim back your expenses, or manage your income – is more important than you think. '

The business side of things – knowing how to file your taxes, claim back your expenses, or manage your income – is more important than you think. Writing is a craft and an art, but being a writer is a job. The worker needs to eat.

'If there’s one thing more luxurious than being paid to write, it’s being paid to talk about your writing. '

Literary festivals are the cherries on the cake of writing. You are almost always paid to attend, and if there’s one thing more luxurious than being paid to write, it’s being paid to talk about your writing. You are, in effect, being paid to go on a little holiday.

'Deadlines in the theatre, in my experience, are more negotiable. But they are vital. Nothing concentrates the mind like the hangman’s noose. '

Deadlines in the theatre, in my experience, are more negotiable. But they are vital. Their effect is best summed up by that old dictum: Nothing concentrates the mind like the hangman’s noose. It makes the writer write.

'I’m well aware that in my efforts to be ‘the world’s amanuensis’ I can only convey a tiny fraction of nature’s wonders. '

In my efforts to be ‘the world’s amanuensis’ I can only convey a tiny fraction of nature’s wonders. My books are as much records of failing to catch the world’s whispered essays as they are transcriptions of the incredible things they say.

'Richard Ford inspires me. When I read him, I want to be a better father, a better man and a much, much better writer. '

Richard Ford inspires me. When I read him, I want to be a better father, a better man and a much, much better writer. I will never be as good a writer as Richard Ford’s books make me want to be. ‘Fear and hope are alike underneath,’...is above my desk.

'Eventually, you’ll forgive the person who thought it would be character building to bang you up in a convent school run by dysfunctional nuns. '

Eventually, you’ll forgive the person who thought it would be character building to bang you up in a convent school run mainly by dysfunctional nuns. Here you will be forced to take elocution lessons to rid you of your rather peculiar accent.

'I book-end my talk with a spacey slide show set to Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ and David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’. A man in the audience has a rock guitar and offers to play live. '

I intend to book-end my talk with a spacey slides show set to Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ and David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity’ but my version of PowerPoint is incompatible with the Festival’s. A man in the audience has a rock guitar and offers to play live.

'Ghost-writing books and columns for celebrities; booking guests onto TV chat shows won’t help you become a first-class screenwriter or novelist.'

Ghost-writing books and columns for celebrities; booking guests onto TV chat shows. There’s nothing wrong with those gigs – and the bills must be paid – but they won’t help you develop the skills to become a first-class screenwriter or novelist.

'Sometimes writer’s block and unrealised projects amount to the same thing. Research takes over, the idea dwarfs the actuality. '

Sometimes writer’s block and unrealised projects amount to the same thing. The research takes over, the idea dwarfs the actuality, and, ultimately, nothing gets written. In certain cases, procrastination poses as progress. This is one of those cases.