Waiting for you

After experiencing a miscarriage at 21 Kiri thought getting pregnant was not going to be an issue for her but after she was married, they struggled to become pregnant. 
With no diagnosis and no funding for treatment, they had a long wait ahead of them to access treatment.  While waiting Kiri became pregnant and they thought this was the one, but at 11 weeks Kiri had a miscarriage which was devastating for them.

They finally went on to have fertility treatment starting with IUI and then moving onto IVF.  None of their cycles were successful.

They then began looking into the process through CYFS (now Oranga Tamarki) for adoption and fostering.

Kiri's Aunty and Uncle then kindly and unexpectedly offered to pay for another cycle of IVF so they re-entered that process but sadly it ended in tears again.

So they started the CYFS process again , undergoing training courses and gruelling visits from social workers investigating all parts of their life.

Twin baby boys were flagged as possible permanent foster children for them and after the long social worker process and a period of meeting the boys and transition, Kiri and her husband welcomed two 15 month old twins into their home, their arms and their hearts.

Kiri shares with us the legal process, the birth parents visitation agreement and the realities of parenting foster children.

Kiri opens her heart for us and this is such a beautiful episode.

Connect with Kiri

Kiri's instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kiriwhitigirl/


Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Share your story on the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Andy has PCOS and endometriosis and volunteers for Qendo  - a charity based in Queensland, Australia supporting people with endometriosis, adenomyosis, PCOS and infertility.

Andy and her partner did not use contraception foduring  their four year relationship as Andy felt she would have difficulty becoming pregnant.  

The day Andy went in for her endometriosis/PCOS surgery she discovered she was pregnant, as she was sitting in pre-op all prepped and ready to go.

So her surgery was cancelled and she began a new pathway of being pregnant.  However, she had a strong feeling from the beginning that something was going to go wrong in this pregnancy.

At 12 weeks Andy was alerted by a doctor that something was wrong but it wasn’t properly investigated or diagnosed and the care she received around this was sub-standard.  A month later, Andy discovered that doctor had had his licence cancelled and that he was on drugs the very day he saw her.

A few weeks later (around 17-20 weeks) things became clearer, with a diagnosis of Limb wall body complex for her baby.

Andy had to choose whether to terminate at this point, or carry to term and lose her baby then.

Andy chose to say goodbye to her baby girl at this point and underwent an induction, labour and delivery.  Arielle was born and died.

The placenta wasn’t delivered and Andy had to wait 3-4 hours for the surgery she required, all the while still having strong and frequent contractions.  Following her surgery, Andy was accidently placed in a new mum room complete with a ‘Welcome baby’ package.

Andy buried her grief and struggled with her mental health in the weeks, months and years following.

Sadly her relationship broke up a year after Arielle was born but Andy would love to try again for a family.

Music written and performed by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

Connect with Andy
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/andyroberts___
Qendo instagram - https://www.instagram.com/qendoau/
Qendo website - https://www.qendo.org.au/

Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram -https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Share on the podcast  - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Jessica is a single mum by choice, choosing to have a baby using a sperm donor and not waiting for the right partner to come along.

She had been diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 21 and once she had further tests done at the fertility clinic it was also confirmed that her right tube was damaged from a surgery she had as a baby, and her left blocked from the endometriosis.

This meant she would need IVF treatment .  Jessica found a sperm donor through an online forum  and began her treatment.

Her first cycle of IVF was sadly unsuccessful and was swiftly followed by her dad passing away.

On her second cycle of IVF Jess got two embryos but they both had to be frozen as we had just been plunged into Level 4 lockdown.  She would have to wait until we were back at Level two before she could do any transfers.

Her gynecologist helped her petition to ACC for compensation for what happened to her as a baby, which was affecting her fertility now.  She was given 2 cycles of IVF compensation for this injury.

On Jessica’s fourth transfer, she became pregnant but had an early miscarriage.

On her 5th transfer, she became pregnant with her little baby girl Hazel.

Jessica planned a homebirth.  All went well and she got to 10cm dilated at home but then things slowed and she was transferred to hospital and ended up having a c-section.

Hazel struggled with her breathing at birth and was transferred to NICU.  Jess lost a lot of blood and was transferred to HDU.  They were separated and Jess struggled with that.

However, by the next day Jess was well enough to spend all day with Hazel skin to skin in NICU and by that night they were back on the ward together.

Shortly after the birth of Hazel, New Zealand went into lockdown and Jessica and Hazel spent the first few weeks locked down together at home, having friends and family visit by looking at Hazel through the window.

Jess has spent a lot of time processing the birth and working through her guilt at the separation they experienced in those first 24 hours.

 
Connect with Jessica
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/houseplant_mother/
Email - [email protected]

Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Submit to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast
Photography website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/

Emma and her partner Rowan spent a few years trying for a baby naturally before seeing a Fertility specialist.

They tried Clomiphene treatment on and off for about a year with no success and then began IVF.

Their first two cycles of IVF both produced one embryo and sadly no pregnancy for them.

It was then suggested they find a donor and a friend of theirs had already offered, so they then started the egg donor process with testing and counselling.

Their first IVF cycle using their donor’s eggs produced 3 eggs and one embryo and it was not successful.

After this cycle, Emma experienced traumatic pain and was diagnosed with a twisted fallopian tube.

Their second donor cycle produced 2 embryos and the one implanted did not become a pregnancy.  During this time they had a lot going on with selling a property, Rowan broke his collar bone and her Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Emma desperately wanted to give her dad good news and at this point she hit a wall with a sense of hopelessness and feelings of letting everyone down, so they took a break and her Dad passed away 3 months later.

Later, they tried again with the frozen embryo from the last cycle, using a new protocol but sadly they had another negative result.

They then made plans to go to San Diego to try there with a clinic donor.  It was all planned and ready to go and then Covid happened and the plans had to be cancelled, but Emma used this time to research further.

They then had to change clinics in Christchurch to Fertility Associates and did a new test that Emma had found in her research.  They went on the egg donor list at Fertility associates and waited.

While waiting they did another (non donor) cycle, which was not successful.

They finally got matched with egg donor and went ahead with a donor egg cycle.

This cycle was successful and Emma received her long awaited positive pregnancy test at she is now 15 weeks pregnant.

 
Connect with Emma
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thegrocerthemaker/

Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Photography instagram -  https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Photography website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Submit to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

 Ruth’s mother in law Christine had a large family of 7 children.  She was all about family and bringing people together, and had a huge capacity for people, helping and love.  Ruth had a wonderful relationship with her.

Around the time that Ruth was 37 weeks pregnant with her second child, Christine’s body started changing and not working in the same way.

Christine was quickly diagnosed with motor neuron disease and Ruth’s son Corban was born shortly after.  The newborn phase with her son was completely different than planned or expected.

She and her family travelled and visited in another town every second weekend with a newborn and a toddler.

Christine experienced a rapid decline in her health.  Her daughter Hannah got married at this time and Ruth photographed the wedding with her son Corban in the front pack.

Ruth also  documented Christines last months and death with her camera.

Ruth shares with us the experience of welcoming her son to the world and saying goodbye to her mother in law all at the same time.  She described that there were so many first time moments coupled with so many last time moments through this time.

This is a beautiful episode and I am so grateful for Ruth for sharing it.

Connect with Ruth
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ruthgilmourphotographer/
                          https://www.instagram.com/ruthgilmourcommercial/
                          https://www.instagram.com/idhtbth.photoschool/
                          https://www.instagram.com/itdoesnthavetobethishard/
Blog post on the wedding - https://ruthgilmourphotographer.co.nz/hannah-and-dan-tauranga-wedding-photographer/

Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Photography website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Submit to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast
                            

Olivia always knew she might have fertility issues due to the history in her family.

After breaking her spine and having ongoing back pain it was discovered she had endometriosis and adenomyosis, as well as low egg reserves.

Feeling she didn’t have time to wait, she decided to go ahead with trying to have a baby alone, using fertility treatment.

After 13 months on the sperm donor waiting list she chose her donor and got started with IUI treatments which were not successful.  She then went onto IVF treatment but in her first cycle she retrieved no eggs.

From here Olivia decided she needed to find an egg donor as well.  She found her donor on a Fertility forum and after they had been through all the required counselling and ethics committee, her egg donor went ahead with IVF and they ended up with 7 beautiful embryos.

The first of the embryos was implanted back into Liv’s uterus and she became pregnant with her beautiful little boy August.

Music written and performed by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

Connect with Olivia
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sisterdoinitforherself

Connect with Janine
Podcast instagram -https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Janine's photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Janine's photography website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Submit your story to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Rebecca became pregnant easily with her first child but struggled to get pregnant a second time and

underwent fertility treatment through a clinic.

After two cycles of IUI treatment she was still not pregnant and felt that she was letting people down not being able to become pregnant, even with this fertility treatment help.

On their third cycle of IUI Becca became pregnant but then miscarried.  She describes this time as the loneliest she has ever felt.  After a failed fourth IUI Becca carried a lot of guilt about the process not working.

Becca was encouraged by her clinic to now apply for public funding for IVF treatment but she kept putting this off.  She had conflicting feelings about this.  She already had one child and she didn’t want to take an IVF space from someone who had no children.

However, on their  6th cycle of IUI she became pregnant  and at the 6 week  scan they discovered that she was pregnant with twins.  She didn’t need the IVF funding after all.

At 19 weeks pregnant they had a scare with limited fluid around baby Neve and she was put on full bed rest.  The twins were born healthy at 36 weeks, but Becca had a bad bleed and ended up in HDU.  Thankfully she got well, and the twins were healthy and they became a family of 5.

Music written and performed by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

Waiting for you instagram page - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/

Janine's photography instagram page -  https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/

Janine's photography website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/

Submit your story to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Kelly is a mum of four.  She has two living children – Brooklyn and Jake, and two children who she had to say goodbye to within hours of them being born – Nina and Molly.

Kelly learned in her early life that she was a carrier of a Chromosomal issue running in the family, passed down from her dad.  She is a carrier but when she has children they could either be totally fine, a carrier like her, or incompatible with life, ending in miscarriage, stillbirth or death shortly after birth.  A 50 % chance of her baby not surviving.

Her first three attempts to have a baby ended in miscarriage but  after that she went on to have two healthy children.  They are both carriers too but healthy in themselves.

After this, Kelly just didn’t feel that he family was finished and she desired to have another baby.  So she and her husband tried again.

They became pregnant but the CVS results at 14 weeks showed that this baby was affected and was incompatible with life.  They had to make decisions around terminating the baby or carrying to term.

They chose to carry their baby to term and with the help of a supportive team she was born at 36 weeks, alive and with her eyes open.  She lived for 1 hour and 46 minutes.  Her name is Nina.

After this experience of losing Nina the feelings of wanting to try for another child just wouldn’t go away.  Her husband was not on board with her but in the end they did try again and Kelly became pregnant again and the CVS results showed that this baby also was not compatible with life.

They gave this baby what they gave Nina.  Kelly carried her to term in the hopes of also meeting her alive.  She was born alive at 36 weeks and lived for 1 hour and 30 minutes.  Her name is Molly.

Kelly shares with us the isolation, the grief and the heartache she and her family have been through but also how they are doing well now and she finally feels herself again.

Connect with Kelly:
Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/thegriefdebrief/
Blog - https://eitsirhc.wixsite.com/bestillandknowkc

Connect with Janine:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/waitingforyou.podcast/
Janine's photography instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Share your story on the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Music written and recorded by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

After trying for a year Liz and her husband found themselves at a fertility clinic with a diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility’'.  They started with Clomiphene treatment and were still unsuccessful after three cycles.  They then went onto IUI treatment and four cycles later they were still not pregnant. 

So they were advised to move onto IVF treatment and on the first cycle became pregnant with their daughter Josie.

Liz shares with us her emotional and mental health during this time and how she felt robbed of a ‘normal’ conception experience.  When she did get pregnant, she suffered from HG and again felt robbed of a joyful pregnancy experience.

They tried for a second baby when Josie was 15 months using the two frozen embryos they had, but sadly both attempts failed which was so tough on them.  They then had to face starting another full cycle of IVF from the beginning.  Liz had been finding the ongoing phone calls of bad news coming from the clinic, so hard to take and from this point on she asked Chris to take all the calls.

Their first transfer from this IVF cycle failed and they were left with only one frozen embryo.

Thankfully that second transfer worked, and Liz became pregnant with their son Sebastian

In this episode, Liz shares the stress that can be put on relationships when going through fertility treatment and how she learned the importance of sharing her story.

Links:
Repromed - https://www.repromed.co.nz/

Janine's instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Janine's website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Want to share your story on the podcast? - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Today I share just a short solo episode to round off season one of Waiting for you.
I am so proud of what I have created and so grateful to those who have shared their stories and those who have listened along.
I am currently chatting to and lining up interviews for Season 2, so I will see you then!


Janine's instagram https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Janine's website  https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Podcast submissions https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast