Waiting for you

Lauren knew she might face fertility issues due to her family history and so after 6 months of trying she went to her GP,  but was told not to worry.
She went on to self-refer to Fertility Associates and after testing of both her and her husband, they started with two self-funded rounds of Clomiphene treatment which were sadly both unsuccessful.

The fertility specialist then suggested laparoscopy  and hysterocscopy to check the uterus, fallopian tubes as well checking for endometriosis.  Quite aggressive endometriosis was found on her ovaries and uterus and Lauren underwent further surgery to remove this.

After she had recovered from surgery they tried another round of Clomophene but that was also unsuccessful and so then they moved onto IUI treatment (Interuterine insemination).  Their first round of this treatment was successful and they welcomed their daughter Ashley on Boxing day of 2016.  There were a couple of bumps in the pregnancy which Lauren shares with us.

When Ashley was 16 months Lauren noticed the signs of endo coming back again so they went back  to Fertility Associates and got started again with another round of IUI to try for a second baby.  This cycle worked first time as well, but to their surprise they were pregnant with twins.  While she tried to give birth to the twins vaginally it ended up being a c-section to get them here safely.

Lauren knew she wanted to help another family struggling with fertility  and so after the twins were weaned she started the process to donate her eggs.  She produced 16 eggs that were donated to another family .  What an absolutely beautiful gift!

Music written and performed by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

Connect with Janine
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxpho

Website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/

Submit your story to the podcast - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Connect with Fertility associates
https://www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/

Heartfelt is a volunteer organisation of professional photographers dedicated to giving the gift of photographic memories to families who have experienced stillbirth or have children with serious or life threatening illness. Heartfelt is dedicated to providing this gift in a caring and compassionate manner, with all services free of charge.

Emma has many roles within Heartfelt.  First and foremost she is a photographer for them and has helped around 450 families in her seven years so far.  She also holds the roles of 
vice-president,  NZ representative and NZ co-ordinator.

There are over 320 photographers who volunteer across Australia and New Zealand and to date they have provided services to over 9000 families.

Emma’s interest in this area began when she read the blog of a mum whose baby had lived for 19 minutes and every minute had been captured in photographs which was very powerful. Later she found and joined Heartfelt and now it is a huge part of her life.

It is the families which drives Emma to volunteer in this way.  Being able to give beautiful memories of their fleeting moments with their child.

Emma talks us through what a Heartfelt phtography session looks like – what she aims to do and how she interacts with the family and how every session is different.  It's a unique and privileged position to give the families NON medical time with their baby.

Emma shares with us a session where she photographed a full term baby who was having his life support turned off and how the space was so filled with love and care and peace.

 She also shares of a family who she has worked with twice as they have lost two babies, and the invitation to be one of the 10 people allowed at the funeral so that she could take photos for the family members who couldn’t be there, because of COVID-19 restrictions.

 We talk about how she is emotionally at or after a session,  and how she looks after herself.  For Emma, it is an honour and privilege to be invited into these spaces and she loves to be able to be there for families in their grief,  but also to celebrate and honour this little baby or child.

Connect with Heartfelt
Website - https://heartfelt.org.au/

0800 number - 

 NZ    0800 583 768

AUS 1800 583 768

 
Connect with Janine
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/

 Website - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/

Podcast submissions - https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Ruth experienced irregular periods and despite not having any of the other common PCOS symptoms,  was diagnosed with PCOS.   She was referred to Fertility Associates to help her start her family.

Ruth shares with us feelings of isolation as she watched her friends having babies and knew that her husband did not feel it all as deeply as she did.

Through the clinic she and her husband Dave started on Clomiphene treatment, but after three cycles and no success, they took a break. Two months later she discovered she was pregnant naturally.  By this time it had been three years since they started trying.

They really celebrated this pregnancy including a fireworks gender reveal show created by Dave at Ruth’s 30th birthday, and making  amazing documentary about Ruby’s birth (see the show notes to watch this).

In the postpartum period Ruth struggled with the dependence of her infant and not being able to just get up and go like she used to. She thought she would be able to drop everything else she loved and just focus on her baby but didn’t work out that way.

 By the time Ruby was  15 months Ruth did not have her period back but she was keen to try for a second child.  She was told by Fertility Associates that she would need to stop breastfeeding before they would see her.  This was an emotionally and physically challenging thing to do for everyone involved.

They then started their cycle to try for their next baby this time using Letrizole instead of Clomiphene.  Ruth shares a funny story about the conception of her baby boy, and her experience of going from one to two children, as well as how Ruby coped with this.

Ruth’s husband Dave is a scientist and he gave the children their middle names.  Both are named after scientists.

The decision to have a third baby is now something they are grappling with, finding that they are in different spaces about it.   This was further highlighted and complicated by a recent miscarriage.

 Ruth is finding living in limbo of not knowing what her family is going to look like quite challenging.

  Connect with Ruth
Instagram  https://www.instagram.com/ruthgilmourphotographer/
                        https://www.instagram.com/IDHTBTH.Photoschool/
                          https://www.instagram.com/ruthgilmourcommercial/
Website  https://ruthgilmourphotographer.co.nz/
Birth documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QXp27E8-2E

 Connect with Janine
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/janinefoxphotography/
Website https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/
Submit to the podcast https://www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz/podcast

Others
Cyber safety for your kids https://www.citizen21.co.nz/
Fertility associates Hamilton https://www.fertilityassociates.co.nz/clinics/hamilton-central-north-island/hamilton/

 I apologise for the sound quality of this episode.  This was my first in-person interview and I clearly didn't get it right, but this story needs to be heard and perfectionism needs to be sent packing so here it is!

Lauryn’s longing to be a mum was deep but not available to her in the ‘conventional’ way so she chose to be a solo mum, using a private sperm donor to help her conceive her son.   Her mum suggested donor conception.  At first Lauryn dismissed the idea as too unconventional but after some research she changed her mind.
 
 She entered the private donor world as going through a clinic was going to be a 2 year wait.    After some initial enquiries, emails and a meet up, she chose her donor.  They discussed and set the terms of their agreement, and then got the process underway.  Donations were delivered to the door three nights in a row and a turkey baster was used to complete the job.
 
Lauryn was pregnant on the first month of trying.  She had a good pregnancy except for badly dislocated knee and needing a month off work to recover.  Although it was not expected of her, she kept her donor up to date with the pregnancy and also Nate's arrival.  Lauryn had her mum at her side at the birth  which ended in a forceps assisted c-section as Nate’s head was on a tilt and he got very stuck.

 Lauryn and her Mum live together and they raise Nate together.  It is a beautiful relationship between the three of them.They recently had the opportunity to meet a couple of Nate’s donor siblings which was unexpected but very welcomed.  Nate’s family expanded overnight.  Lauryn’s intention as a parent is to be reflective and forward thinking, and her whole perspective on life and work has changed since having Nate.
 
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Anna was in a committed and secure relationship of four years when she discovered she was pregnant.  The pregnancy was unplanned and although she was a little nervous,  she was happy for this surprise.  However this day became the day her world fell apart as her partner’s reaction was very unexpected.

Her partner very quickly gave her an ultimatum.  Either marry him  and live with his parents or have an abortion.  Anna was not prepared to be given that kind of ultimatum and abortion was never on her agenda.  By the end of the day her partner had packed his bags and left.

Anna sought solace in her family and moved back home to live with her parents and sister while she tried to recover from the shock and try to piece her life back together.

Pregnancy was a difficult time and Anna coped just by carrying on with her life and trying not to think about it.  None of it felt real.  The whole time was very surreal.

Anna had her mum by her side for the birth of Emme, despite some tricky hospital Covid-19 policies to navigate.  She brought her baby home to a house  full of support and love.  However, she found herself grieving for what she didn’t have, grappling with the the idea of what a family looks like and sad she wouldn’t be able to give Emme what she had growing up.

Emme is now 13 months hold and her dad has not met her.  It is very clear he wants nothing to do with her and Anna is dealing with all of that. 

Anna has learned that she is stronger than her ever knew and Emme gave her that strength.

This episode is heartbreaking and full of heart all at once. 

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In this episode Jen takes us through her story of endometriosis, IVF, trauma and poor health.  Jen suffered debilitating period pain and often ended op in the emergency department and led to a laparoscopy.

After trying for a year, she needed IVF quickly as her egg reserves had dropped significantly.  Her first embryo transfer didn’t work and she experienced a very traumatic end to that cycle with a lot of bleeding and pain, and a hospital stay.  Following this her mental health declined and so they waited until she was strong enough again to try for another embryo transfer.

Their second embryo transfer was successful and they welcomed their son Ezra into the world.

In the days following Ezra’s birth he wasn’t well with trouble feeding, dry lips, lethargy and weight loss, and at the same time Jen was unwell with increasing c-section pain.  After going home Jen’s c-section scar burst and bled.  She had a big infection, which hadn’t been picked up so she ended up back in hospital.  

Once Jen was back home, still taking lots of antibiotics and pain killers, she was suffering with intense back pain and nausea and following an appointment to her osteopath, she was sent straight to hospital and was then diagnosed with pancreatitis which involved a long and difficult recovery.  As a result of all of this Jen spent a lot of time in the early days separated from Ezra. 

After two years of being unwell, things were recently resolved when it was discovered her gall bladder was in very poor condition and it was removed and for the first time in a long time, Jen is beginning to feel well.

Jen has recently done some work with Karla Sargent, a birth trauma specialist, to help her come to terms with the trauma she has been through.

It was picked up in the newborn hearing screening that Ezra has hearing loss and so Jen also shares that with us.

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Carla Sargent - birth trauma support and education

Fertility associates

 

In this episode Charlotte shares her story of a diagnosis of Polycystic ovarian syndrome , the impact that had on her fertility, and her subsequent fertility treatment.

Living outside of a main centre, they had to access treatment from a distance which proved difficult at times.  They started treatment using Clomiphene and Letrizole and then moved onto IVF.

Their first cycle of IVF gave them their beautiful son Hugo.  They subsequently experienced two miscarriages before having their second son Sullivan.  Charlotte shares with us the impact of all of this on her gentle heart.

We discuss a calcification in her uterus, post partum bleeding and identifying a dairy allergy in her young son, and what being a mum has taught her.

Charlotte’s oldest son was recently diagnosed with autism and she kindly shares with us the signs that lead to getting an assessment for him and what the diagnosis has meant for their family.

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CPAC scoring

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In this episode I talk with Lisa who is 8 years into her journey to create her family.
Lisa was originally diagnosed with PCOS at 18, which has evolved into hypothalamic-pituatary-ovarian (HPO) axis disorder.
After getting married Lis and her husband headed straight to a fertility clinic and started on Letrozole treatment.  This was followed by two cycles of IUI and then they moved onto IVF.
With no eggs collected from her first two cycles of IVF, they moved to a different protocol (IVM) which was also unsuccessful.
Lisa developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome and became very unwell and hospitalised following a double trigger cycle.
It wasn't until her 7th embryo transfer and approximately 5 years into the journey that she became pregnant with her son Otis.
Lisa believes strongly in strengthening her resilience and good self care to help her through these years of treatment.
Following having their son, they contintued treatment to try for a second child.  One cycle was cancelled as Lisa had developed shingels and a very difficult time came when she became pregnant again but sadly had a miscarriage.
Lisa npow puts any spare energy she has into charity work for Fertility Funding Charitable Trust to help others access fertility treatment.
After eight years and 13 embryo transfers, Lisa and her husband continue with treatment.  They remain positive and hopeful that their second child will come.

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Fertility funding charitable trust

Dr Sher

Fertility associates

Motherwell (Loula George)

Podcast music created by Alan Meharry and Stu Fox

In this episode I talk with Emm who navigated endometriosis, IVF and Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome on her journey to have her son Dillon.
Emm's endometriosis took 8 years of battling to get a diagnosis and gave her such severe pain that she was in the emergency department many times over.  Despite having surgery, she still faced an IVF journey .
During her egg collection they retrieved a large number of eggs  but she subsequently developed Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome which caused her to become very ill and admitted to hospital.  The embryos all got frozen while they waited until she was recovered from OHSS and her body ready  to do an embryo transfer.
During all of this, Emm lost her beloved Nan who was one of her greatest supporters.
Emm is a shining light of grit and positivity with a massive dose of adventure and I thank her for sharing her story here.

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Janine Fox photography website

Fertility associates

In this solo episode, I share my story of infertility, coming to have our son and the work I do today.  
After a year of trying for a baby we were referred to a fertility specialist.  I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had surgery for this.  It then transpired that my husband also had fertility issues so our chances of conceiving naturally were very low.
We started with IUI treatment and then moved onto IVF treatment.  On our third IVF cycle we were gifted our beautiful baby boy.   The emotional and mental toll of treatment was high and I share some of my experiences through that time with being around babies and pregnant women. 
Despite thinking it would all be golden and shiny, I struggled as a new mum with heightened anxiety.  
When our son was three we started treatment again, hoping for a second child - a sibling for our son.  Sadly it didn't work out and after two cycles we made the painful decision to stop treatment and enjoy the family we had.
In 2016 I left my teaching career and started my photography business.  My life had come full circle.  I was ready to surround myself with babies and share in the joy of other people's little miracles.  Alongside my business I volunteer for a charity called Heartfelt.  We photography stillborn babies  and palliative babies and children with their famililes so that these families can have beautiful memories of their little one.

www.fertilityassociates.co.nz
www.janinefoxphotography.co.nz
instagram - @janinefoxphotography