Walk Boldly With Jesus

An Unexpected Handstand

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

This is a great scripture verse to memorize or to put up somewhere where you will see it often.  Sometimes it does not feel like God is for us.  Actually sometimes it can seem like He is against us.  We can go through long periods of life where it feels like everything is against us.  This is when it is good to have this scripture verse to look at to remind you that God is for you.  Someone in my prayer group asked for prayers for a friend the other day.  She said this couple is really struggling to see God’s plan in everything that is going on.  The couple has been trying to have a baby for a long time.  The wife has had several miscarriages and is really starting to wonder if she will ever have a baby.  They turned their struggle over to God and they asked Him for help.  They asked what they could do and for God to reveal anything that might be getting in the way of them having a baby.  The other day they found out that she was pregnant and they are very much praying this is the time they get to carry their baby to term.

When you are in one of these really difficult stretches of time, it can be really hard sometimes not to lose faith.  You may ask yourself, what is even the point of continuing to believe when it seems like God has forgotten about you.  I promise He is still with you, even in this hard time.  If you continue reading after this passage in Jeremiah 29:12-14 it says, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”  The couple that was trying to have a baby, they continued to pray, even though they didn’t understand why this was all happening.  They continued to seek where God was in all of this and they found Him.

I know that depending on your situation and how long it has been going on, it may be difficult to pray.  You may want to, but just aren’t sure what to say at this point.  Or, maybe you feel like you have been praying for so long that God is not listening anymore.  I assure you, He is still listening.  He always listens to us and wants good for us.  The Lord is always truthful and always keeps His promises.  So, when He says that His plans for us are to prosper and not for harm, then He means it.  If you are struggling to pray, reach out and ask a friend, co-worker, priest, minister, family member, anyone to pray for you, maybe even to pray with you.  It says in Matthew 18:20 “ For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”

There is power in praying with fellow believers.  If you are praying for something and not seeing the results that you wanted to see, ask others to pray with you.  I went to a healing service the other night and instead of having one or two people pray over those wanting healing, the priest had everyone sitting around that person put their hands on the one needing healing and pray for them.  It was very powerful to see all the people that needed healing surrounded by fellow believers praying for them.  

God wants good things for you.  He wants you to have a future and to have hope.  So, why don’t we, what gets in our way of seeing this future that God wants us to have?  There are several things that can get in the way.  Sometimes, we get in our own way.  Even though we know how God is calling us to live, we deviate from that because it is really hard or because it is not the norm in society today. Living the way Jesus wants us to live can go against what we are taught in society.  We can look foolish when we follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  Have you ever had a still small voice in your head that was telling you to do something that didn’t make sense at the time?  Did you listen to it?

The Holy Spirit is inside each of us and He tries to guide us to the right path.  But sometimes we can’t see where He is leading us.  Sometimes He asks us to do things and we don’t because they seem crazy or we don’t understand where it will get us.  I heard a story in a book I read called “The Cross and the Switchblade” by David Wilkerson about a woman who had learned to listen to that voice inside her.  One morning she was heading out to work when she felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to bring her fuzzy socks to work with her.  She thought this was a very strange request, but since she had learned to listen, she went and grabbed her fuzzy socks and threw them in her purse.  When she got to work, there was a prostitute on her front step and she was passed out.  She brought her inside and warmed her up.  They got to talking and this woman asked the prostitute if she could have anything, what would it be.  Do you know what she said?  Fuzzy socks.  The woman was so surprised and gave her fuzzy socks to the prostitute.  The prostitute was so happy and said, “They even match my outfit.”  

There is another story I heard from a person in a leadership course I was taking.  They were talking about how a woman in their group at church had made a commitment to the Holy Spirit that she would follow any prompting she received, no matter how crazy it seemed.  One night she was driving home and she felt the Holy Spirit asking her to do a hand stand.  Now, this definitely seemed crazy.  She was no spring chicken and she had not done a hand stand since she was a child.  However, she couldn’t shake this feeling.  She pulled over to a gas station where no one was around and went under the one light, and did a hand stand.  When walking back to her car, the clerk came out of the store and thanked her.  She asked him why he was thanking her and he said they have cameras in the store and he saw her hand stand.  He had been feeling very low and abandoned lately and had wanted to kill himself.  He made a deal with God that if he saw someone do a handstand that day he would not do it.  He never dreamed that he would actually see someone do a handstand and he was so thankful he did.

Even when we get in our own way, God can use our mistakes for good.  He is that amazing.  Most of the time when we are in a difficult situation we can’t imagine how any good can come from it.  It is usually many years down the road when we are out of the difficult situation that we can look back and see some good coming out of it.  Often times that good might just be the growth or the strength we gained from the situation.  Sometimes it can be the experience or the knowledge we gained from that situation that enabled us to get the job of our dreams or the relationship we always wanted.  

If you are struggling right now I hope Jeremiah 29:11 brings you some comfort.  If you are struggling to pray I urge you to find someone to either pray for you or to pray with you.  God is always with you.  He hears every one of your prayers.  He will carry you through this difficult time and He will bring you out even better on the other side of it.  When you are really struggling remind your self that God has promised good things for you and God never breaks His promises.  Hang in there, I promise amazing things are headed your way if you just keep asking for them.  

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you are with all those that are struggling right now.  I pray that you give strength to those that find themselves in a really difficult situation.  Lord, I  know so many people are struggling with a lot right now.  I know several ladies that are really hurting.  Lord, I ask that you comfort them and you let them know that you are with them.  I ask that you give the strength to make it through this hard time and the knowledge that you don’t want them to suffer.  I ask that you help them to believe your promise of a future and of hope.  I ask that you help them feel loved and take away any feelings of abandonment that they may have.  Lord I ask that you bless all those that are struggling and all those that are listening to this right now, whether they are struggling or not. I ask that you bless them and strengthen them for all they are facing.  Lord Jesus, we love so you much and we know how much you do for us.  You are truly amazing and we thank you for loving us so much that you make all things for our good.  Lord, we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.

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If You Only Knew The Power Living Inside Of You…

Matthew 8: 16 “When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick.”

I was talking with a friend last night and we got on the topic of the Holy Spirit.  I love to talk about the Holy Spirit because I am still in awe over the whole thing.  I am in awe that God gave us the Holy Spirit. I am in awe that we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us.  I wish each and every single baptized person on planet earth knew how powerful they were with the Holy Spirit living inside of them.  

The verse above says, “When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed al the sick.”  Jesus was able to chase away demons with a word.  He was able to heal the sick just by saying be healed.  Actually there are many different ways that Jesus healed people.  If you read the many healing stories in the Bible you will see there wasn’t just one way that Jesus healed the sick.  Sometimes he said “be healed” sometimes he just told them to do something like “take up your mat and go.” Other times he did a physical action like when he put mud on a blind mans eyes or put his fingers in a deaf man’s ears.  I think there was so much variety so that Jesus could show us it is not what we do that heals people, it is who we ask.  We come to God in faith and He does the healings.  

I was talking to my friend last night because we were doing an inner healing session.  Part of the process I was using for inner healing was to renounce the lies that we tell ourselves.  I was explaining that we can do that at anytime.  She can do that on her own even when I am not on the phone with her.  When she starts to get anxious she can sit down and ask Jesus to help her figure out what specific lies she is telling herself.  For instance, my car will break down and I won’t be able to get to work.  Something bad will happen to me if I go out on my own.  My children might get hurt if I let them do what they want.  I am not sure what it might be for you.  We all have things we tell ourselves that are not true.  Things like I am unworthy of love, I am unloved, I am stupid, I am a bad driver.  Whatever it is that you are telling yourself, you can renounce that lie once you realize what that lie is.  

If you aren’t sure if you are telling yourself any lies, take a minute and think about what that inner voice is saying to you.  Maybe take a minute and ask God to reveal any lies you are telling yourself.  Once you have the lies it is easy to renounce them.  It is a simple sentence, “In the name of Jesus I renounce the lie, and then you state the lie.”  For instance, “In the name of Jesus I renounce the lie that I am not good enough, I am not pretty enough, I am not enough.”  Ideally you would repeat the sentence for each lie.  I just named a few so you would get the idea.  

Once you renounce the lie you can ask God to replace that lie with the truth.  It is amazing what you will hear when you ask God what truth He wants to give you in place of that lie.  You will see just how much God loves you.  You will see a tenderness that you probably didn’t know was there.  My friend was saying that although renouncing lies is so simple, she didn’t know she could do that.  I explained that she was not alone!  So many of us don’t know we can do that.  I definitely didn’t before enrolling in the Encounter Ministries class I am taking.  

Another part of the inner healing session is to renounce any evil spirits.  For instance, the spirit of anxiety, the spirit of depressions, the spirit of unworthiness.  When Jesus sent the 12 apostles out to spread the word that the Kingdom of God was at hand He gave them the power to do signs and wonders.  When He sent out the 72 He did the same.  Jesus made us all, each one of us part of the great commission.  He tasked us all with spreading the news of Him and all the things that happened in the Gospel.  He wants us to make sure that every person on the planet has had a chance to hear about Him.  To do this He gave us all the Holy Spirit.  With the Holy Spirit we have the power living inside of us to cast out demons in Jesus’ name.  We have the power to heal the sick in Jesus’ name.  Well, we are not healing the sick but God is healing the sick through us when we are brave enough to step our in faith and to ask.  

Did you know demons don’t have any power of you unless you give it to them?  It’s true, you have to consent to them being there.  Now, it’s not as if they ask you and you say yes or no.  They find ways in through the sins we commit and often times we didn’t know that we opened a door or that we let them in.  However, whether we knew we were doing it or not, if they find an open door they enter.  However, they can’t stay once you tell them to leave.  You, yes you, have the power to tell them to leave.  If you notice you have a persistent feeling, such as anxiety, depression, worry, anger, irritability, loneliness, unworthiness, etc, this could be a spirit causing this persistent feeling.  If you want to kick that spirit out all you have to stay is, “In the name of Jesus I renounce the spirit of …. and I command it to leave right now in Jesus’ name.”  

Once you command it to leave, it must leave.  It cannot stay, it has officially been evicted. God honors our free will and the enemy must do the same.  He just does a good job at making us unaware of the power we have.  I was telling my friend that I think that has been on of the enemies greatest tactics.  I think the enemy has done a good job of either making us forget how much power we have living inside of us, or he has twisted the truth so much in the world that we don’t believe it.  I am not sure what has happened, how he did it, and yet, we don’t seem to know that we have any real power.  

Can you imagine how different the world would be if every baptized person was walking around in the full authority that Christ gave them?  Can you imagine how different the world would be if we all knew that Jesus gave us the power to heal the sick, cast our demons, raise the dead and so much more!  It says in John 14:12-14 “ Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”  Do you believe that scripture speaks the truth?  Do you believe that God is honest and keeps His promises?  If so, then you can see why I know that we each have so much power living inside of us.

This verse does not say that a select few will do the works that Jesus did.  It does not say that priests and ministers will do the works that Jesus did.  It says, “You, whomever believes in me.” Do you believe in Jesus?  If so, then He is talking to you?  I know it doesn’t feel like you have any power. I know you don’t feel worthy of any power.  I know you probably don’t want any power, because as Aunt May says in Spider Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.”  And yet, if you believe in Jesus you have this power anyway, so why are we wasting it?  Why are we going around with aches and pains and not asking God in Jesus’ name to heal them?  Why are we living under the oppression of spirits when we have the power to demand that they leave?  Because we don’t know or we don’t believe we have this power. I hope after hearing this episode you go to your Bible and you look for the scripture verse John 14:12-14.  I hope you underline it, I hope you write it on an index card and I hope you ask the Lord to show you how this applies in your life.  Ask God to show you what He is calling you to do.  

Don’t worry, God is gentle with us.  He will not call us to move to another country when He knows we really don’t want that.  He may call us to ask for healing in our own lives, He may call us to church more, to daily mass, to pray for someone we know, to pray over someone we know if that is something we aren’t too uncomfortable with. Imagine what this world would be like if we all started living in the authority that Jesus gave us.  We are all so worried about what is happening in the world around us and yet we feel so powerless.  That is a trick of the enemy. We are not powerless.  We are more powerful than we know.  He knows how powerful we are when we live into that power, when we realize what it truly means to have the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead living inside of us.  Matthew 17:20 says, “ He replied, “Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.” Did you hear that last line, “NOTHING WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU.”  

One main goal of this podcast is to help us all start to believe that a little more.  I know if we started to believe this the world would start to change.  We wouldn’t be as scared all the time because we would know we have the power living inside of us to change things.  We wouldn’t be living in so much pain because we would know we have the power inside of us to set ourselves free and to help set others free.  We wouldn’t just accept the aches and pains we get as a given thing that come with getting older, we would pray for healing because we know the power of God to heal is living inside of us.  I know the world would change, it has already started, if more and more of us realized the power laying dormant inside of us.  The Holy Spirit’s ability to work through us is confined by our free will, by our belief in His power.  If we want to have access to that power, we need to first know and believe that we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us.  We have to learn what that means and the best way to do that is to read the Scriptures.  Read the book of Acts in the Bible. Read all about what the apostles did with the Holy Spirit living inside of them.  It is incredible and if they could do it, so can you because we have the same exact Holy Spirit, there is only one!

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today.  Lord, we want to understand the power and authority you have given to us, please help us.  We want to live in that authority.  We want to be able to cast out demons and heal those around us.  Please build our faith, please show us how.  Lord, we thank you for giving us your Son and then when He left you gave us the Holy Spirit.  We are so grateful.  Help bring an awareness in each person listening as to what having the Holy Spirit living inside of us means for us.  We love you Lord and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name, Amen!

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus.  I have so exciting news, I have found a place to hold a retreat this fall.  I have been feeling called to host a retreat and everywhere I called was so expensive.  I just wanted to find a place that most people could afford to come if they wanted to.  I was getting discouraged and God is so good and He knew that I just needed to keep calling places.  I finally found one.  I will have more details in the upcoming weeks but I am excited to announce that I will be hosting a retreat in October for anyone who would like to get away for a weekend and spend some time with Jesus.  It will be a weekend full of praise and worship and thanksgiving to God.  It will also be a time when we talk about some ways to develop a more intimate relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.  It will be amazing because the Holy Spirit is the one leading the charge on this one.  I hope you will consider joining me! I look forward to meeting you hear again tomorrow.  Remember, Jesus love you, he really does, and so do I!  Have a blessed day!

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Today’s witnesses come from the bethel.com/testimonies website. I found the first testimony because I have a friend who is struggling with Fibromyalgia. I believe that Jesus can heal even chronic diseases that have no human cure and, I know testimonies build faith. I searched specifically for a testimony about a miraculous healing of Fibromyalgia so my friend would know it is possible and hopefully she would keep asking and believing she can be healed too. On that same website I saw the second two witnesses, which are actually the same event just from two different people who were involved. The second witness is about curing of cerebral palsy. If you know anyone who needs a healing pass this witness Wednesday along to them and maybe it will give them the hope they need to believe that God can heal them too!

Healing of Fibromyalgia

January 5, 2021

A woman is healed of the pain and symptoms of fibromyalgia.

When I was only 12, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I have heard that about 85 % of women with fibromyalgia have had some kind of severe childhood trauma, and that was the case with me.

I had it for 17 years. I could hardly walk or stand. My pain level was ten. I was on 16 medications, 86 pills a day for six or seven years. I received very limited help. In those 17 years, I probably received prayer about 700 times. I had seen other healings. I believed in healing.

On December 6, 2009, I was at a church service call for prayer, but I wasn’t going to go up. I told the Lord I knew He could heal me, but I didn’t have the energy to hope that He would.

A friend said to me, “You are going up for prayer.”

I said, “No, I’m not.”

My friend added, “Either you are going up yourself, or I’m dragging you up there.”

I went up, and they laid hands on me, and I knew 95% of the pain had already gone down. I don’t know if they got two or three words out of their mouth before all the pain left.

Before that, I went back to my doctor, who was a Muslim and asked to be taken off all my medications. He was skeptical. I told him I believed in Jesus, and Jesus had healed me.

On my medical chart, it says “spontaneous remission.” Those words don’t actually exist for fibromyalgia. Doctors are limited in what they can say because it doesn’t go away for them. There are pressure points for fibromyalgia, and they were not there anymore for me.

Two first-year BSSM students experienced a miracle when one prayed for the other, and breakthrough from a lifelong affliction resulted.

Karina’s Story

On December 1, 2022, I went to our activation, Healing and Pastoral Care. The leader, Roy, was talking about The Chosen, a Season 3 episode in which a disciple spoke to Jesus and wanted healing, and Jesus said He wanted to heal him but it would glorify Him more if he stayed with his infirmity. That was uncomfortable for me because I really liked The Chosen and did not want to criticize it, but that scene was disturbing to me, too. As we discussed this in our class, we decided, “Let’s pray the actor gets healed!” He has cerebral palsy, and we thought that maybe they wrote that in the script because of that. We said we did not want to change our theology according to our experience, but to model our theology to fit who God is. We prayed for that actor to be healed so they would have to change the storyline.

We came to worship afterward. I usually don’t go to the front, but Payton (my friend) always does. That day, I was in the front with her. I turned around and said to her, “Healing on your body!” Payton said, “Yeah!” She receives so easily. I thought, Maybe I can be a little more intentional. I turned to her and said, “Hey, we just talked about cerebral palsy this morning. And we prayed. Can I pray for you?” I had already prayed for her before because she had told me she had cerebral palsy.

I just put my hand on her and prayed for realignment in her body and for every cell to vibrate to the frequency of heaven. I asked her to test it out. To be honest, I was expecting, but not expecting at the same time. She straightened and said, “Oh, my back just cracked.” She held her arms out and said, “Are my arms the same length?” Her right arm was about an inch shorter than her left arm before. She started crying because she realized they were the same length. I started crying, too.

I asked her to try out her leg which would always hurt. I understood that her whole life, her foot would spasm every time she stretched it. It would hurt when she stood on it the whole day, and she would drag her foot a little behind her at the end of the day. She took her foot out of her slippers and stretched her leg out, but it did not spasm or hurt. She kept crying. I said, “You have to go up on stage and share!”

The next day, I thought, Is she still healed? I was happy I experienced this, but I wanted it to be permanent. I texted her and asked if she was still healed, and she said yes.

Her brain is now able to control her right side properly. I was so overwhelmed with joy and so honored to be the one that got to pray for her!

Payton’s Story

I was born with cerebral palsy. I had a stroke in the womb that caused a blood clot and scarring on my brain. For the first five years of my life, I would walk on my tiptoes. My biological dad did that, too, so they did not think anything of it at first. I started doing sports, and I would say, “My leg hurts.” It would spasm. So they did an MRI, and it showed cerebral palsy. I started going to PT and wore a cast to correct my foot because my bone structure was off because of how I walked. I had to wear a plastic foot brace when the cast came off to keep my foot trained. I wore that for six months to a year. After that, I could not do sports.

You could not tell by looking at me that something was wrong but as I got older, I noticed more things because it progressed. I understood what was happening but did not think about it. I was not concerned about getting healed, and my family are not yet Christians. When I came to BSSM, Karina asked me about my limp. People would say to me, “I’m praying for you.” I did not think I needed healing because it had become part of my life.

We got to the worship set in December. When Karina laid hands on me and said, “Be healed,” I felt something right then. I could feel that I did not have pain in my calf from jumping, and I always have pain. Then she prayed for me, and my back was the first thing that I noticed was different. I could crack my back. My arm did not extend normally, so a nerve would pinch if I turned it the wrong way, and pain would shoot down to my thumb. I put my arms out after she prayed because I could feel something had shifted in my leg. The most obvious thing I could think of to test it was to put my arms out. At that moment when someone’s hand was there and my fingers touched it, I heard God say, “It’s done.” I could feel it from my head to my toe. All my fingers had a different feeling. I could now hold a pen correctly. I used to have to hold it like a little kid in my fist. I pointed my foot and that was the craziest thing because it was not uncomfortable. The next couple of days after, I could feel my whole body in a different way.

The next morning, I woke up and thought, I hope it’s still there. He’s God, so it should be there. I wrote my name the next morning with my right hand. I told all my roommates. For the next four days, I could feel the weirdest sensation. It was like two wires clicking all over my body. I cracked my back every two seconds because I could not do that before. I could rotate my arm without it clicking. The smallest thing like being able to hold a pen is the biggest joy. It was hard to explain that to my friends growing up.

My eyes would droop when I was tired. My muscle function would give out. I did not realize how much I missed until I had it. I went on a walk, and my leg wasn’t tired afterward. If I jumped, I did not have pain in my calf.

My mom is a nurse. I told her what happened, and she said, “You need an MRI.” When I went home for Christmas break, I pointed my foot for her. She said, “OK. I don’t know what’s going on, but I am happy.” I went to a youth group that I used to work at. I told a girl with a broken foot, “I am going to release this over you.” In the middle of the service, she stood up and looked at me. Then she jumped on her broken foot, removed her cast and it was healed. I asked her what clicked for her. She said she felt the Lord tell her to close her eyes for a second. She saw the clip of The Chosen when Jesus healed the paralytic. She thought, If Payton was healed, I could be healed! I think it’s ironic that the same show that sparked the discussion that led to my healing God used in her healing as well!

Thank you all for sharing your stories. God is amazing, and He is still doing miraculous healing every day. However, we won’t ever know about them if people aren’t brave enough to talk about them. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story so that others can hear your testimony, which can help strengthen their faith. They can hear your testimony and see that if God can heal you, He can heal them, too! 

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Backseat Driver

Phil 4:8 “And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”

“Peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Peace that transcends all understanding.  Have you ever had this?  Have you ever felt at peace in a situation that was not peaceful?  Have you ever had peace about something that you didn’t understand?  There are so many things to be anxious about, especially in the world today.  

However, God can give us a peace that transcends all understanding if we ask him too.  If we trust that he is in control.  We don’t have to worry about everything because we are lucky and we have Him taking care of everything and working all things for our good. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”  God is working for our good if we just let him work.  If we just rely on him to come through for us.  There are some situations that seem impossible.  I get that.  Some of you may be thinking that God offer’s peace to some, but not to others.  Maybe you haven’t felt that peace before and you are wondering if God has forgotten about you.  I assure you, he has not.  God is offering his peace to all who want it.  The thing is, we need to accept it.  We need to step out in faith and hand our troubles, no matter how big or small they are, to God and let him take the wheel.

There is a song by TobyMac called Backseat Driver. It is a really great illustration of how we tend to want to take control back from God.  God wants to go through this life with us and He wants to be the driver.  He wants us to rely on him to get us to where we are going.  There is one part of this song that says: “I'm putting my trust in You, putting my trust in You.  It’s a little bit overdue, but I'm putting my trust in You”  Isn’t this so true!  We put our trust in God, when we have no choice, when we tried everything we could to fix it on our own and nothing has worked. Then, finally, when all else has failed we put our trust in God.  We finally realize that nothing we have done has fixed our situation and so we turn over control to God.  What if we could begin to do this sooner?  What if we did this at the first sign of trouble?  Imagine how great it would be to save all that time that we usually spend trying to fix things ourselves and the countless hours we spend worrying about things?  Imagine how nice it would be if we could turn everything over to God, before we waste that time.  

There is another part in the song that says, “Silly me, silly me, aye.  Reverting back to my old ways.  Them got to be in control days.  Jump before I pray, Yo, I am heading out the doorway. But I want Your way, Yahweh.”  Does this sound familiar?  Have you ever found yourself stuck in a situation you didn’t want to be in?  Have you ever found yourself wondering how you got there and promising that the next time you had a decision to make, you would pray about it first?  And you did, at least for awhile, but then things were going good again.  Everything seemed to be working out and you started spending less and less time in prayer?  What if we consulted our heavenly Father before making any of our decisions? What if we took a few minutes at the beginning of our day and asked God what he wanted us to do that day?  

Reverting back to our old ways is something that we all do.  I have heard a lot of my mentors say over the years that “it is not a knowing problem, it is a doing problem.”  Usually when we revert back to our old ways it is not because we don’t know better.  We usually know what is best for us and what produces the best results.  However, we tend to slip back into doing what is easiest, or what comes most naturally instead of what is best.  

Letting God take the wheel and lead us is the best way to go through life.  He knows what is best for us and can save us so much time and pain.  Often times we think we know what we want in life and we are upset when we don’t get it.  In times like these, as hard as it is, it will help to remember that God is the driver.  His ways are greater than our ways.  Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”  If a door that you wanted to open, didn’t open, its because your heavenly father has something much better in store for you.  It is not always easy to see that and I know in the moment of disappointment it is hard to remember.  Think about when you were little and you wanted to watch tv, or eat the candy, or do something else that would not have been great for you and your parents wanted more for you.  If you have children, think about how many times you have to say no to them because of something better you have in store.  If we could do this for our children, think of how much more our father in heaven wants for us.  

Where in your life have you been taking back control?  Where have you been reverting back to your old ways?  Is there somewhere in your life where you could put your trust back in God?  

Are you being a backseat driver?

Dear Heavenly Father, please be with us each and every day.  Please help us to turn control back over to you.  Please help us to turn our worries and fears over to you as well.  Lord, we want you to direct our lives.  You want more for us then we could possibly want for ourselves.  We thank you for protecting us from ourselves and from things that we don’t even know about.  We thank your for all of the doors that you have closed for us in order for us to walk through even better doors.  Lord you are truly amazing and we are sorry for all the times we forget to turn our trust over to you.  You are our first choice and we ask that you help us to remember that each and every day.  Lord we love you and we thank you for all that you do. We ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name. Amen.

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Jesus is bigger than the Facts

Luke 8:50 “While Jesus was still speaking, someone came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader. “Your daughter is dead,” he said. “Don’t bother the teacher anymore. Hearing this, Jesus said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”

Pastor Steven Furtick gave an excellent sermon on this passage a few weeks ago.  If you want to listen to it you can check it our on the Elevation with Steven Furtick Podcast.  The title of the Episode is The Facts aren’t Final.  Steven Furtick explores this passage in a lot more detail then I can do in this short amount of time as his podcast is close to an hour long.  However, I really liked his messages surrounding this verse.  There are usually several messages in his sermons.  They are really good.  The main message for this episode is revealed in the title, Facts are not Final.  

This verse is about a man who went to see Jesus because his daughter was dying.  He found Jesus and he fell down on his knees and asked Jesus to come to his house and to save his daughter.  Then in Luke 8:50 it says, “While Jesus was still speaking, someone came from the house of Jairus, the synagogue leader.  “Your daughter is dead,” he said.  “Don’t bother the teacher anymore.  Hearing this Jesus said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”  Can you imagine being in this circumstance?  Have you heard those words before, “Just believe and she, he, they will be healed?”  This can be so hard.  It can be so hard to believe on a good day, but when you are faced with facts that don’t give a lot of room for hope.  

This man just received news that his little girl died.  Not that she was sick, but that she had died.  Imagine how hard it was for this man to believe.  It says that Jairus was a synagogue leader.  They synagogue leaders at the time of Jesus did not know what to make of Jesus.  Even in this passage they refer to him as the teacher, no the son of God, not the healer, not the resurrected Christ, the teacher.  Jairus must have wondered if Jesus was a healer because he did go to Jesus and ask Him to save his daughter.  I wonder if he believed that he could heal his daughter or if this was just what some may call a “Hail Mary” attempt.  A “Hail Mary” in case you don’t know is when you try something that you are pretty sure will not work, but you don’t have any other chance so you give it one last shot anyway.  Hail Mary is actually a great name for that type of circumstance because she is definitely someone that we can rely on when all else has failed.  

The facts of this case seemed bleak.  Jairus wanted Jesus to save his daughter but according to the facts Jesus did not get there in time and his daughter died.  Jesus was on his way to Jairus’ house when he got stopped by a large crowd of people.  One of those people was the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years and no doctors could help her.  She went up to Jesus in the crowd and touched his cloak and was immediately healed.  Jesus stopped to acknowledge this and while He was still talking to this woman, who’s story is amazing and deserves a whole episode of her own, Jairus got new that his daughter had died.  I don’t know about you, but I feel like I would be super angry at this point.  I feel as the my grief would have over come me and I would have started to yell at Jesus.  I would have told Him my daughters death was all His fault. If he hadn’t have stopped to talk to that lady, my daughter might still be alive.  

Can you picture the scene?  It seems when we are angry and hurt we lash out.  It makes us feel better, even if just for a moment, if we can blame someone else.  This is a normal reaction, however, there is no mention of any such reaction from Jairus.  Jesus hears the man from Jairus’ house tell Jairus that his daughter died and Jesus says, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”  The question is, “How do we believe when we are faced with facts that dispute that faith?”  How does this man believe that his daughter will be ok when he was just told that she was dead?  Do you have a circumstance in your life where the facts don’t leave room for much hope?  

Do you have a situation where the facts tell you that there is no way out?  For instance, maybe you have too many bills and not enough money.  Maybe you have a diagnosis and the doctors are saying there is no cure for.  Maybe your child is facing a situation and you don’t see a way out of it for them.  Maybe your marriage is in trouble and your spouse has said there is no way to fix it.  In all of these circumstances, the facts say that your situation is beyond hope.  The facts say that you can’t change they things.  If a doctor says you have a terminal illness, that is a fact.  You can’t dispute that fact on merit, as you do in fact have an illness that there is no human cure for.  If your spouse has made up their mind that divorce is the only way, then it will take divine intervention to save that marriage.  So, how do we have faith when the facts are telling us there is no hope?

One great way is to look back at scripture.  This Bible verse is not the only time it looked liked Jesus arrived too late.  In John 11 Jesus’ friend Lazarus got sick and his sisters wrote to Jesus asking him to come home and heal their brother.  Jesus stayed where He was and finished what He was doing and then He went back.  By the time Jesus got back there, Lazarus had been dead and in a tomb for 4 days.  The facts in this chapter would tell us that Lazarus was not coming back.  He had already been dead for 4 days, his body was probably starting to smell and maybe decompose.  However, Jesus came back and raised Lazarus from the dead.  What about the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years?  The facts told her she would never get better, there was no cure.  The doctors couldn’t help her, they only made it worse.   I am sure she had to fight her mind reminding her of these facts the entire way to see Jesus.  She fought through the voices telling her the facts that she would not get better and that there was no hope.  She stepped out in faith, touched His garment, the hem of his garment, and she was cured.  

In the story above, the facts said Jairus’ daughter had died.  He no longer had a need for someone to come and heal his daughter.  The facts said it was too late.  However, Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed.”  And Jairus went with Jesus to see his little girl.  In Luke 8:54-55 it says, “ But he took her by the hand and said, “My child, get up!” Her spirit returned, and at once she stood up. Then Jesus told them to give her something to eat.”  The facts said it was too late and Jesus said “Do not be afraid, just believe.”  

Where do you need to hear that in your life right now.  The Bible is not just a collection of stories that give us historical data but don’t really pertain to our lives.  The Bible is just as relevant today as it was back in that day.  When Jesus is telling these parables to the people in the Bible, He is also telling them to you.  Where in your life are you struggling with the facts?  Where in your life are the facts not leaving much room for hope?  Where in your life do you need to hear these words, straight from Jesus’ mouth, “Do not be afraid, just believe.”

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today.  Lord, help those that are struggling to believe that the facts aren’t final.  Help those facing some very scary facts.  Lord, we know you are amazing and you are God of the impossible.  Please give us the strength to not be afraid and to believe.  Lord we believe, help our unbelief.  We love you Lord and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’ holy name, Amen.  

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus.  I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.  Have a blessed day!

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I Have Heard Your Prayers And Seen Your Tears

Isaiah 38:5 “Go and tell Hezekiah, ‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life.”

I thought I would take a minute at the beginning of this episode to explain how I get the scripture verses that I use at the beginning of each episode.  Every Thursday I attend a Catholic Charismatic prayer group.  During our meetings we begin with a 5-10 minute teaching, then we go into praise and worship.  Then we go into speaking in tongues and quiet time where we are silent and listen for anything the Lord wants to share with us, often times that will include scripture verses.  I use the scripture verses from these meetings as I figure if God is sharing them with us, they are probably good ones to share with you.  

This morning, however, I am leading prayer group and I did not want to use a scripture verse that had just been used at the meetings.  So, I prayed this morning that God would give me a verse.  Now I have been part of this group for 3-4 years now.  Every week God shows up and shares with us.  And yet, I am constantly surprised when he does.  Or maybe I’m not surprised He shows up, but how He shows up.  This morning I was not sure how I would know what scripture to use.  I thought I would maybe just open the Bible and pick one, or maybe one from my scripture writing would jump out at me.  I was unclear and if I am honest, I am not sure I fully believed that God would show me what scripture to use.  Then, right before I finished my prayer time the words Isaiah 38:5 flashed in my mind.  It was as if it was written in the air.  I could see it plain as day.  This has never happened to me before.  God has spoken to me, but not that plainly.

I share this story with you because I want you to know that God is there for you.  He hears your prayers.  Just as it says in Isaiah 38:5 “‘This is what the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will add fifteen years to your life.”  Sometimes we wonder if God is really listening.  When I read this verse this morning my first thought was of a friend of mine.  She is really struggling right now and I felt like God was talking to her when He said “I have heard your prayers and seen your tears.”  Then I got to thinking and I actually have several friends that are struggling right now.  Struggling with some really difficult issues. 

For all of you that are struggling right now, I want you to know that you are not alone.  Life is difficult for so many people right now.  On top of all that we went through over this past year, you have had added levels of difficulty.  I am so sorry that life has been so hard.  We have had many difficulties this past year as well.  Remote learning was a challenge.  The isolation from friends was really tough on our oldest son.  It has been a crazy year.  And yet, I can see God was with me through all of it.  

What if you can’t see that?  What if you don’t know where God was in all of it?  You can be someone who loves God, someone who has a close relationship with God, and also you can question where God is and what his plan is.  King David was anointed, he had a very close relationship with God, and yet even He questioned God.  In Psalm 13:1-3 “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?”  Have you had these thoughts before?  Have you, or are you going through something, and you are wondering how long you have to endure the suffering before God will save you, before He will answer your prayers?

If this is you first, I want to let you know that this is okay.  Sometimes we can make our pain worse because on top of the pain of the situation, we feel guilty because we are questioning the Lord, or we are mad at the Lord.  Sometimes our minds say things like, “If I were a good christian I would just trust God,” or “I’ve had a relationship with the Lord a long time, I shouldn’t be worried, or questioning.”  God can handle our questioning and our anger.  He is strong enough for anything you have for Him.  He wants you to turn to Him in times of need.  You are not the only person angry with God and questioning how long you will have to suffer.  Trust me, there are many people in the same boat.  Please let the guilt go.  Please do not judge yourself for questioning.   David questioned often,  just read the psalms and you will see just how often, and yet God chose David’s lineage to bring forth the savior of the world.  

Second, I want you to know that this scripture verse is for you.  God wants to talk directly to you right now when he says “I have heard your prayers, and seen your tears.”  He is there with you, even when you can’t see Him or feel Him.  He is there every moment of your life.  I know it is a struggle sometimes, many times, to understand why you had to go through some of the things you had to go through.  I know that the not knowing, is sometimes the hardest part.  I want to assure you that things will get better.  I don’t know how and I don’t know when.  I do know that God wants ridiculously good things for you.  It says in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  God will get you through these difficult times and there will be great times on the other side of this hardship.  Just hang on.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will make it through this hard time.

I would like to give you two things that may help get you through this difficult time.  First, is from the same psalm that I read from earlier.  In Psalm 13 David was questioning the Lord and asking how long he was going to have to suffer. Then he ended the Psalm with verses 5-6 “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.”  David does question the Lord, and then he turns back to praising the Lord.  Praising the Lord in a difficult time can really be helpful in getting out of that difficult time quicker.  Now, I can already hear some of you saying, “but what if I am struggling to trust in God’s unfailing love?,” or “What if I don’t know what to say?” This is ok, God knows this.  When I struggle to believe in something I go to Mark 9:24, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

Sometimes we get to a place where we can’t pray.  Has this happened to you?  If so I want you to know you are in good company.  I am not sure if you know this or not, but Mother Teresa had this happen to her.  She was so close to the Lord, she was doing His work every single day and yet she went through really long, like several years long, dry spells where she could not pray.  She would enter into her prayer time and nothing would come.  The enemy has a way of making us feel like we are the only one that these things happen to and that we are awful people because of it.  I just want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  

I think that is part of the reason why God raises up Saints.  I think we usually put them on pedestals and when we do I think we are missing the point.  I think the Saints are actually to show us very real people that are not perfect, they made mistakes, in some cases big mistakes, and yet still were capable of carrying out God’s work.  God does not use perfect people.  He takes broken, imperfect people and makes them perfect through His grace.  I think the Saints are showcasing God’s redemption.  If you read about the saints you will quickly take them off the pedestal and you will be able to see parts of yourself in them.  If God could turn their lives around so completely, He could do it for all of us.

The second thing is to read scripture.  If you are going through a difficult time and you are questioning if God is there, reading scripture can be helpful.  Seeing how God has shown up for others in the past can help you see how He may show up for you.  If you struggle to trust in the Lord, read passages that talk about God’s faithfulness.  If you struggle to believe God loves you read passages on God’s love.  I have recently learned of something called scripture writing.  I had no idea what this was.  Well, obviously I could deduct what it meant, but I didn’t know how to do it.  How do you know what scripture to write?  How much to write?  I had several questions.  

The truth is, there is no one way to do it. The point is to familiarize yourself with scripture and you remember things better when you write them down.  However, I like when things have directions that I can follow.  So, if you are like me, here is what I do.  I go online and google scripture writing plans.  There will be tons of images that come up.  Most of them have a theme, so I pick one that I feel is resonating with me for that month.  One month I picked Be Bold, another month I picked Repentance & Renewal.  Then the plan tells you which verses to write each day, it is usually just a verse or two.  I just got a notebook and each day I write the verse for the day.  It has been really great and I enjoy those 5-10 minutes with the Lord.  

If you are struggling right now, maybe give scripture writing or praising the Lord a try and see how you feel afterwards.  If you are not sure you would know what to say for praising the Lord, you could always listen to christian music and let the artists praise for you.  If you are not sure what to pray, you can pray the scriptures.  The Book of Psalms is also a great place to go for praising the Lord.  If you feel like you can’t praise the Lord in your circumstances, you can borrow David’s praises.  

You will get through this hard time.  God is with you!  You are not alone.  He may let you fall, but He will be there to catch you and put you back on even stronger ground.  You are amazing and God loves you more than you will ever know.

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask that you be with everyone listening to this today.  I ask that you let them see where you are in all of this.  Lord, sometimes we don’t understand your plan or why we have to go through the hard times. We ask that you bless us with a supernatural trust in you.  We ask that you help us to feel you in those really hard times.  Lord, we ask that you fortify us with strength and protect us when we are weak.  Lord, some of us are going through so really difficult times and can’t see the way out.  I ask that you shine a light on each step of the way and fill us with assurance that you are there and are leading us out.  Lord I thank you for being strong enough to handle our questions and our anger.  I thank you for your mercy that when we are angry with you or questions where you are you do not get angry with us.  I thank you for the graces you give us to each and every day.  Lord we love you and are constantly amazed by you.  Father, we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name. Amen

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Where The Spirit Of The Lord Is, There Is Freedom

2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

I saw this verse on Facebook today and thought it was a great one.  I have been helping to lead a Life in the Spirit Seminar and each week we learn a little bit more about the Holy Spirit and about the beginning of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal.  There is a video teaching about different subjects and then one of our prayer group members gives a witness about how they have seen God working in their lives.  I have really been learning a lot.  Not just from the talks, but also from other people’s experience of how they have seen God in their life.  

The first week’s topic was God’s Love.  The witness was about a woman who was told she couldn’t have children and yet had two healthy children.  She was a woman who married the love of her life and even though the marriage ended, God was there with her through it all.  He provided miracles all throughout her life small ones and big ones, like giving birth to her children when she was told she couldn’t have kids.  This woman experienced a baptism of the Holy Spirit and she talks about how her life was changed after that.  She had this love and closeness with the Lord that she never had before.  She was filled with this sense of peace that although things weren’t always easy, she would be ok.  God would be there with her through it all.  The verse above says that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.  This woman definitely experienced freedom for her worries.

The second week the topic was salvation.  The witness was about a woman who lost her father at a young age.  He was only about 60 years old when he was hit be a teenager and killed.  There was some speculation that the teen had been drinking but could not be proven.  This woman could not forgive the teen.  She was so angry that he took her father from his children and his grandchildren.  She harbored this anger for 20 years.  Forgiveness wasn’t even something she could think about.  She went to grief counseling, and they recommended she write the teen a letter, but not send it.  She couldn’t even think of doing this.  

Many years later a former coworker of hers lost her husband to a teen driving accident.  My friend attended this wake and asked her former coworker how she was doing.  The former coworker said she thought she was ready to write the teenage a letter of forgiveness, as it had been four months. My friend burst into tears and asked how she could forgive so soon as it had only been four months.  My friend’s dad died 20 years ago and she still harbored feelings of unforgiveness.  Her former coworker told her she needed to forgive him, for herself as much as for the boy.  How could she expect God to forgive her if she didn’t forgive others.  

The Holy Spirit works in mysterious ways.  If my friend hadn’t have ran into her former co-worker at this wake, who knows if she would have forgiven that young man.  My friend didn’t even notice how much her unforgiveness had blocked her relationship with the lord.  It took her another year to write the letter.  When she read it out loud to her husband she felt so free.  It was as if a huge weight she didn’t know she had been carrying had been lifted.  It enabled her to have a closer and intimate relationship with God.  She was finally free of the unforgiveness.

Last night’s topic was New Life.  It talked about how we have a new life when we accept the Holy Spirit into our lives and give Him permission to work in our lives.  When we surrender to God, amazing things happen.  For some, it is so hard to surrender everything.  For others, it is easy to surrender everything to God, and yet, when things get tough they take it back and try to do it on their own.  The witness for last night was about a member who was doing her best to be a good Catholic.  She attended mass and her kids went to Catholic school. She talked about how her priorities once she got married were her husband, her kids and God.  However, about 14 years ago her husband had heart trouble and was give 3-5 years to live.  She was told his heart would just stop and it would be sudden death.  She didn’t know what to do with this.  He was her best friend and her whole world.  How could she think about a future without him?

She was upset with God and questioned what she did to deserve this.  She allowed fear and anxiety to take over life.  She begged God to save them from this medical prognosis. She cried out why have you forsaken me.  There were many more years of hospital stays and ER visits.  She felt as though God was waiting on her, but she didn’t know what to do.  She started to go to daily mass and spent hours in the adoration chapel. One day she saw an advertisement for a Catholic Healing Service.  She begged her husband to take her and he did.  At this service she was taught about the power of the Holy Spirit and what can block us from the healing power of God and from hearing His voice.  They were lead through prayers of forgiveness, renunciation of sickness, sin, diseases, and negative emotions.  At this service her eyes were open to what had been blocking her.  The Holy Spirit showed her that even though she had been praying all those years, she hadn’t truly believed that God was hearing her prayers and that He would take care of them.  She realized that God had been suffering with her and He just wanted her to trust that He would take care of them.  At this service everyone was invited to come up one at a time to be prayed over.  When she went up she surrendered all to God and asked for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit.  Suddenly she felt a gust of wind push her back, she was swept off her feet and knocked to the ground.  The Holy Spirit came upon her and she was filled with tremendous peace, love and joy.  Her sadness and stress were gone and she felt light as a feather.  She was free, from all her worries, sadness, anxieties, and stress.  She definitely was feeling the freedom that comes with the Holy Spirit.  

The reason I wanted to share these three witnesses with you today is because I don’t think we talk about the Holy Spirit enough.  We talk a lot about God and we hear a lot about Jesus and yet, the Holy Spirit remains a mystery to many of us.  We don’t know a lot about Him and so we tend to stick to what we know.  The Holy Spirit is available to all.  It is not something that you need to do certain things for.  It is not as if you earn the Holy Spirit by being extra Holy, or by jumping through all the hoops.  The Holy Spirit is available to anyone that wants it.  You can call upon the Holy Spirit at any time and it only takes a second.  “Come Holy Spirit come” are among the most powerful words you could say.  There are many prayers to the Holy Spirit.  There is one that I used to say often, although I must say I have gotten away from it and I want to get back to it.  I will end with that prayer today.  If you are looking for a way to invite the Holy Spirit into your life, say this prayer daily and then buckle up and enjoy the ride.  If you invite Him in, He will do amazing things in your life.  He will give you a freedom that you have never experienced before.  The power of the Holy Spirit will surprise you.  Wouldn’t it be great if you knew what God wanted you to do?  When you have a relationship with the Holy Spirit you will be able to hear God’s words more clearly.  There is so much I could say about the Holy Spirit and the benefits of getting to know more about Him and inviting Him into your life.  However, I don’t want to go on all day, so maybe I will do another episode later about this very important topic.  I am sure I will do many over the years.  I hope you enjoyed the witnesses.  They were condensed, but I am hoping to bring you their full story in upcoming episodes.  I will leave you with a prayer to the Holy Spirit.  

Oh, Holy Spirit, beloved of my soul…I adore you.

Enlighten me, guide me, strengthen me, console me.

Tell me what I should do; give me your orders.  I

Promise to submit myself to all that You desire of me

And to accept all that You permit to happen to me.

Let me only know your will.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus.  I look forward to spending time with you again tomorrow.  Have a blessed day!

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Introduction

Today’s witness is from my new friend Bruce. Bruce found my podcast randomly, and when he heard the call for people to share their stories, he reached out to me through email and shared his story with me. I asked him if I could share it, and he said yes. Bruce has made a career for the past thirty years as a head scenic artist, art director, and designer in the professional theatre business.  For the past five years, he has also had a studio on James St. N., where he produced his own artwork.  He is known and loved by many in the community for his work teaching the PMC art class for over a decade, as well as a more recent class for seniors at the YWCA.  This is his story of losing sight but finding a new depth of faith.

Backstory

I’ve been a believing Christian since the age of ten, but at some point in the past few years, I began to notice a growing sense of spiritual restlessness.  I felt like I never had the kind of spiritual life that you read and hear about.  I always felt there could be a better experience.  I wanted that closeness to God and that shower of blessings that the scriptures describe, but I always figured I was not worthy of it—or else I would have known it by now.  

A few years ago, pastor lane spoke about being “haunted by God.”  This began happening to me.  I would wake up in the middle of the night thinking someone was there.  I was never afraid, even though it felt surreal or supernatural.  It was as if someone was trying to tell me something, but no words were heard.  Someone was there.  It was the Holy Ghost haunting me.  

This was a good haunting.  I was quite moved by this and began to pray for something to happen that would make me a better person and Christian.  I asked myself what I would want from God as a spiritual blessing or gift if I had the chance.  I decided that my greatest spiritual weakness was a lack of courage, so that is what I prayed for.  I honestly believe that my answer came in the form of the trial I would soon go through.  I learned that when you ask God to do something, you had better stand firm and be prepared.  

Spring 2016

In the spring of 2016, I started to notice my eyesight slipping.  It was harder to focus.  I got new glasses prescribed, and by the time I picked them up, they failed to work for me.  The doctor determined that I had low eye pressure.  The doctor tried some treatments, but every treatment failed.  Sometimes, my vision would return, only to fail again shortly afterward.  I was coasting up and down with hopes and disappointment.  

Summer 2016

In the summer of 2016, Pastor Lane was teaching a series of sermons from the Book of Job.  This was never a favorite story of mine because I always looked at Job as someone with special favor from God.  Each Sunday, I would take my seat on the balcony and listen to the woes of Job while at the same time in noticing that my sight was diminishing a little more each week.  

I’ve never been known to have a quick temper, but one night, lying in my bed, I felt a real anger at what was happening to me.  I was never a person who got angry at God, but now I was asking God, “How could you let this happen to an artist?”  I had just turned sixty-five.  I was looking forward to launching into more painting, more teaching, and a rewarding time ahead.  Instead, my retirement gift was blindness—received with some bitterness toward God.  

August 16, 2016

Taking what I thought was the mature approach to my anger, I decided that anger was not the right path and that it would only lead to my own misery.  As Christians, we are always taught to look for the good purpose in all things, including our troubles and trials. I struggled to see where there was any good in an artist losing his vision.  I was at a dead end and could not imagine my life without sight or the ability to do my artwork.  I was forced to challenge God.  

I prayed, “Lord, I know I can’t be angry at you about this.  I don’t believe you would allow this to be cruel or to punish me.  I do believe you must have some purpose in these awful circumstances you have placed me in.  I am helpless and unable to understand any purpose for goodness here.  Show me what you want me to know."  

August 17, 2016

The next morning, as I was checking my email, I saw a message from a man I had worked with in previous years in the theatre business.  I was a little surprised because I didn’t remember getting any messages from him before, so I was curious what he had to say.  There was no text in the email, just an image of a stone tablet with the words “Psalm 73” carved into it.  I had never known this man to talk about God or scripture, so this was a surprising message.  

At this time, my vision was poor but still good enough that I could read using a magnifying glass.  I had a Bible in my studio, which Pastor Mike Mileski had given me.  It was a special edition with beautiful abstract artwork and a very easy-to-read text.  I read from it every day before I set to work on my painting.  

On this day, I decided to read Psalm 73, hoping to discover why my colleague had sent it to me.  I started reading about Israel and the ungodly prospering.  This didn’t seem to have anything to do with my situation.  Reading further, the Psalmist expresses frustration and admits his unworthiness to God.  I could relate to that more.  The next verse was one which I had heard and read many times before without too much notice:

“Nevertheless, I am continually with thee. You hold me by my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel and, afterward, receive me to glory.  Whom have I in heaven but you, Lord, and there is nothing on earth that I desire more.  My heart and my flesh fail me, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  It is good for me to be near God...I will put my trust in the Lord God that I may tell of his works.”

I was reading while standing at my drafting table, but when I read these words, I slumped down into a chair because I felt my knees weaken.  I was so overcome by the words I read; it was as if I had never read or heard them before.  At that moment, as I sat in my studio, it felt like someone put a cloak around me.  A wave of peace and reassurance washed over me.  I felt peace I had never known before.  This was the “peace that passes all understanding,” which comes only from God.  This was the Holy Spirit answering my prayer.  Psalm 73 told me what I needed to know.  

The Lord is with me, always at my right side, holding my hand.  He will guide my footsteps and prevent me from falling.  When my life on earth is over, I will stand with him in heaven because I am just as worthy in God’s sight as Job.  I have no doubt of all this because the Lord has given me the courage to believe it fully.  

After reading and taking in the words of Psalm 73, I said out loud in my studio, “What more could I possibly want?”  I re-read Psalm 73 several times right after.  I had never had a verse that I might refer to as my “life verse.”  Now I had my own life verse because Psalm 73 changed my outlook on life forever.  

Fall 2016

In the days and weeks that followed, I read psalm after psalm.  I discovered that I could listen to someone read the psalms on YouTube, which was easier than struggling with my sight.  I was amazed that the theology that weaved its way through the psalms.  Several of them bolstered my faith and my reverence for this great book.  I always read the daily devotional reading and commentary by Charles Spurgeon.  His insight into the human condition, combined with his knowledge of theology, is remarkable.  Many days he would offer up a psalm which would prove to be exactly what I needed to have that day.  

In the year that followed, there were many efforts to fix my sight.  I underwent four surgeries and received countless injections in my eyes.  With a newfound peace and courage, I was able to go through all these ordeals knowing that the Lord was always with me.  With the help of excellent, caring doctors, I didn’t need to worry.  

Spring 2017

By the spring, it seemed at first that the surgeries had succeeded.  The relief was short-lived.  The pressure problem had been fixed, but a new problem appeared in the form of calcium deposits on my cornea, which were clouding my vision.  I was just ready to get new glasses after waiting a year, only to find out it was not possible until the calcium was dealt with.  This involved another specialist and more delays.  I had been dealing with my life very well up until this time, but the combination of everything seemed to drag me down ‘til I felt depressed and very discouraged.  
August 17, 2017

One particularly bad day, I went to see what my friend Charles Spurgeon had to say.  I was really counting on something meaningful to help me see my way out of this depressed state.  

Instead of a psalm, this day’s reading was from John: the story of Lazarus.  “Why Lazarus?” I thought.  That didn’t seem to offer any help on this day.  Spurgeon told how Christ is telling us that our trials, troubles, and illnesses are not forever, that there is a time for these things to end.  That promise from God changed my mood from discouragement to hope and promise. I now had the promise that my long series of troubles with my sight would have an end.  That was good enough for me.  I had made it through the past year, and I knew I was a better person than before.  I don’t think the old me would have come through the year as well.  

The story continues

In September of this year, I had an operation to remove the calcium from my cornea.  It was successful, but the condition has quickly returned since then.  Once again, I find myself unable to get new glasses, parked on the sidelines with hazy vision.  I am disappointed, but not without hope.  I have hope because of the many prayers on my behalf and the peace and courage that get from my Saviour, who holds my right hand.  

I am in awe of what God has done for me this past year.  I am in awe of how God has moved in my life since I asked him to do something for me.  I am richly blessed with a loving wife, daughters, and a family who care about and for me.  I have a church filled with caring people who have prayed for me.  I have everything I need; I know not everyone is blessed the same way.  I don’t know if I will have my sight restored to where I can read and write and create art again.  Even if I don’t, I know that God will have a plan for me, and I will never be left without him.  

I once asked what the Lord wanted me to do.  I found my answer in Psalm 73, which says. “I will tell of thy works.”  This is why I am telling my story.  I have yet to meet a person who did not face some sort of trouble, trial, illness, fear, and so on.  I want people to know that you can be deeply blessed and assured by just opening your heart and asking God to do something for you.  If you read Psalm 73 and do what the psalmist says by putting your trust in the lord, your life will change more than you can imagine.  Whoever you are—rich or poor, young or old, you and I can be as richly blessed and stand as worthy as Job in God’s sight.  

I just read a blog post that Bruce wrote for his church in November 2017. The following is part of an email to me summarizing his story and explaining about a miraculous event that happened in 2018.

Hello Catherine, I listened to your podcast, " If You Only Knew The Power You Had In You", the other day. I came across it by chance and was so taken with it that I listened to several more of your podcasts. You asked people to send you their stories and prayer requests. I recently retired after 30 years as a professional artist in the Live theatre business. I had my own studio for painting and designing. I taught art classes for 13 years at my church as well as the YWCA seniors centre. For several years I was dealing with glaucoma which was under control. In 2017 after 14 eye operations I lost my sight and was told there was nothing more that can de done. In November 2018, I went to a healing service in Toronto, not knowing what to expect. I had a miraculous encounter with the Holy Spirit and recovered my eyesight. That was a Sunday night. However, Monday morning, when I woke up, I was blind again. I could have been angry but was not because I was so amazed at what happened and knew in faith that the Lord was with me on this. I have been to several healing services since then but have not received my sight. My faith is stronger than ever and I am unable to give up hope. However, I have had occasional times of real sadness. Lately, I told God I don't know what to pray or do anymore. I don't understand why I am left this way. I have asked Him to help me out of this state I am in. When this happens, God always answers my prayer. I have listened to hundreds of podcasts and sermons. Your messages have answered so many of my concerns at just the right time as none other have. I have felt so akin to your thinking and way of explaining things. I would so appreciate your prayers for healing and restoring my eyesight. I already know that God has done it once, and will do it again. With my thanks and blessing on your ministry. Sincerely, Bruce Repei

Once I received this email I wrote back and asked if I could pray with Bruce over the phone. Two nights later I talked with Bruce & Alice on the phone for quite awhile. Bruce explained all about the healing service he went to and how his sight was restored. He could see all around the church, he could see Alice, he just looked around in awe the whole way home because he could finally see again. He looked all around his house when they got home. He didn’t go to bed until 2 or 3 in the morning. As he stated in his email, his sight was once again gone when he woke up. Bruce and Alice were both very upbeat and positive about the journey. When praying over Bruce, he could definitely feel heat, which is a manifestation of the Holy Spirit. He did not regain his sight but we are all hopeful it will return. I will continue to keep him in my prayers and hopefully continue to pray with him over the phone. I ask you to keep Bruce & Alice in your prayers as well. I am looking forward to the Witness Wednesday when I get to have Bruce on here telling you in his own words what it was like to finally have his sight back once and for all. That is going to be a glorious day. Don’t worry; whatever day it happens, I will be sure to tell you all about it! I won’t wait for a Wednesday!

Thank you Bruce for being brave enough to reach out to me and share your story with me. I am so honored you allowed me to pray with you and I can’t wait to do it again! I hope I get to meet you both in person when you come to MA in July. I hope every single person listening now understands a little better why I always say it is important to share our stories. My faith has grown after hearing Bruce’s story. People need to hear your story too. As Bruce said in his article, everyone has gone through something. Sometimes just hearing that someone else went through it and was able to trust in God makes it a little easier for you to trust in God. Thanks again Bruce! I can’t wait to celebrate with you!

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Honestly, I Think We Just Need Jesus!

Acts 2:40 “And he testified with many other words and exhorted them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.”

I chose this scripture verse today because where it says, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.” There is a song that I have heard on the radio more and more recently, and these last few days, it is running repeat in my mind. I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I am not sure I want to get it out of my head as the words that are running through my head are Honestly, I think we need Jesus by Terrian. Since I can’t seem to shake this song, and then I read the verse above this morning, I think the Lord wants me to share it with you. I will place a link for the song in the show notes, as she does a much better job singing it than I do. I also love that she is young and yet can still see that we need more Jesus. I will go over the lyrics of the song with you today.

The song starts with:

I got a front-row seat to the madness

I pick up my phone every mornin' out of habit

I've been fiendin' for the drama, yeah, I said it

I'm addicted to the rush, need a medic

How many of us pick up our phones or turn on the news first thing when we wake up? How many of us want to know what is going on in the world before we even stop and spend our time with God? I use my phone for an alarm, so I would turn off my alarm, and then I would check my messages, emails, and Facebook before I would sit down with the Lord and spend time with Him. I have gotten better; now, I just check my messages, mostly to make sure my kids got home safely. Sometimes I still check my emails, but I am getting better and usually save that for later. 

I love how the songwriter points out that we usually pick up our phones out of habit. This isn’t just first thing in the morning. We do this all throughout the day. I bet we all spend more time than we would like on our phones. I also like how they bring our attention to the fact that we are “Fiendin’ for the drama” and “addicted to the rush.” It seems we are drawn to the conflict and the drama more than the good things that are happening. I don’t know if that is because we crave drama or because that is all the news tends to show us. Either way, there is good and bad going on in the world, and it is up to us to choose which we seek out and focus on.

The song goes on to say:

When I take a step back, I can see it

All the pain, all the fear we've been feelin'

Losin' sight of the thing that we're needin'

That we're needin’

This is a great reminder that sometimes we need to take a step back. When we do we see that we are focusing on all of our pain and fear that we are feeling instead of focusing on the one who can take all that pain and fear away. When we watch the news or listen to all that is going on in the world, we tend to get overwhelmed. We can also start to feel a sense of hopelessness. We can feel a sense that the world is going crazy, and there is nothing we can do about it. However, we are never hopeless because we are children of God, and we can always turn to Him, and He can save us. There is nothing too hard for God to handle. 

Next, the song says:

Honestly, I think we just need Jesus

Honestly, I think we just need Jesus

Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?

What used to be wrong, we say that it's right

Honestly, I think we just need Jesus

This is the part that gets stuck in my head. I can’t think of a truer statement. I can see how our country is falling apart because we keep removing God from more and more things. This country was founded with God. He was a part of the government; yes, Church and State were separate, and yet God and State weren’t. God was invited into the Constitution; he was invited into the Pledge of Allegiance. He was invited into our courtrooms. God was welcome everywhere. Now, it seems He is welcome nowhere. 

I also love how the song says, “Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds? What used to be wrong, we say that it’s right.” We have all thought this for a long time now and it is nice to hear it in a song so we know we aren’t the only ones who think it. This world does seem to have gone mad and it does seem like we are all losing our minds. Some of the things that seem to be ok in the world today still shock me.  I think this song points out very real and honest questions. Have we all gone mad? Have we all lost our minds?

Take a good long look in the mirror

Search my heart and soul, make it clearer

Help me take your love, trade the bitter

Leave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord.

I think it would be a great idea if we all stopped and took a good look in the mirror. What are we doing? Not what is the world doing, what are we doing? Are we staying true to God in this crazy world? Are we staying above all the drama and walking in the light of Christ? Are we being love and hope to everyone we meet? We are all called to be “little Christs” to all we meet. Are we doing so? Are we loving everyone, even those who aren’t like us? Even those who aren’t living their lives the way we think they should? Even those who we don’t like. God said to love our enemies. Are we doing that? 

The next line says, “Search my heart and soul, make it clearer.” Do we want God to search our hearts and souls? What would He find? I do like how it says to make it clearer. With all that is going on in this world, and all this world says is ok, the water we wade into can get muddy. I don’t think the world makes it easy or clear how we should live our lives. We need to focus on God and ask God to help make it clear to us what He wants from us and how He wants us to live. 

It also says, “Help me take your love, trade the bitter. Leave it in the dust, help me leave it in the dust, Lord.” It can be easy to become bitter. We live in a broken world, and people offend us all the time. Things aren’t fair, and sometimes good things happen to bad people, and bad things happen to good people. This can make us bitter. We need God to come in and replace our bitterness with His love. We need His help to walk away from the bitter and leave it in the dust.

We've been preachin', we've been drinkin' in the vanity (in the vanity)

Now it's got us questionin' our sanity (sanity)

And we wonder how we get all this anxiety

It's clear to me

Yep, I think we have all probably questioned our sanity at some point over the last few years. I definitely think there is a lot of vanity in this day and age as well. With everyone having phones and taking photos every moment of every day, we have become obsessed with how we look and what we have. We want to make sure our life looks as good online as everyone else’s life does. This leads us to do and say things that aren’t always true. We act online like our lives are perfect and yet so many of our children and adults are hurting inside but don’t reach out and get help because everyone else seems like they are doing so good. This definitely makes us question our sanity because our life is falling apart, and everyone else seems to have it all together. I love the line that says, “And we wonder how we get all this anxiety.” Exactly!! All of the things I just talked about, along with the news, the decline of our country, the division in our country, and we wonder why everyone is so anxious.

After the song repeats the chorus about us just needing Jesus, it goes on to say:

We turn away (we turn away)

We're running back to you (oh-oh)

Covered in grace (covered in grace)

God, You can make us new (make us new)

Yes! We are like a revolving door. We turn away from the Lord and then turn back to Him, then we turn away, and then we turn back. I love how the author of this song understands that even when we do this, we are covered in grace. God will always accept us back in. He is not angry with us that we have turned away, He is happy that we have turned back. God is always there with open arms waiting for us to turn back to Him. God is the only one that can make us new. We may think we have done too much, we have really messed up this time, and there is no hope for us. There is always hope in the Lord. He can make us new, He can make our country new, He can make our world new. We just have to invite Him in and ask Him.

The song ends by repeating the chorus. I will leave you with those words.

Honestly, we need, we need You, Jesus (we need You, oh)

Have we all gone mad? Have we lost our minds?

What used to be wrong, we say that it's right

Honestly, we need, we need You, Jesus

Oh, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

We need You, Jesus, Jesus

Oh, Jesus

Jesus, Jesus (we're running back)

(We're running back to You) Jesus

We're runnin' back to You, oh (Jesus)

Yeah, Jesus, Jesus

Make us new

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Lord, we love you, and we are sorry we turned away; please help us to turn back. We are sorry our country is falling apart. Please show us how we can help to bring you back into our country. Please put in our hearts what you are calling us to do. Please help us to stop searching for the drama and start searching for you. Help us to be your love and light to others instead of spreading the drama and the worry. We love you, Lord, and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name, Amen! 

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. I would like to ask a favor. I have been talking about my mentoring program for a while now. It is on Tuesday nights at 8 PM EST on Zoom, and I record it, so if you aren’t able to make it live, you can watch the recording. Maybe mentoring is not for you, and yet you may know someone who might benefit from it. My favor is that you pass the information along to them. CLICK HERE for mentoring. You could just copy it and then paste it into a text message or email. Also, you could just direct them to the walkboldlywithjesus.com website, and the link is right on that first page. If you would like to join mentoring, but just don’t have the $30 per month, please reach out to me. I don’t want a lack of money to hinder my ability to grow closer to the Lord. I look forward to meeting you here again tomorrow. Also, can I please ask for some prayers? My middle son Noah is going in for surgery today. Please pray for a successful surgery, healing of all headaches, and a speedy and pain-free recovery. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! Have a blessed day. 

Today’s Word from the Lord was received in January 2024 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group or about these words, please email [email protected]. Today’s Word from the Lord is “I am here for each one of you, my children. I never abandon you. You are precious in my sight. You are my great delight.”

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Psalm 104 The Lord’s Majesty (Part 5)

Psalm 104:19-23 “You have made the moon to mark the seasons; the sun knows its time for setting. You make darkness, and it is night when all the animals of the forest come creeping out. The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God. When the sun rises, they withdraw and lie down in their dens. People go out to their work and to their labor until the evening.”

It just amazes me how perfectly everything in nature flows. Everything in the world doesn’t flow nicely because we have created many things that mess everything up. However, if we look at nature, we can’t help but be in awe of God’s majesty. Today’s verses start our talking about the moon and how we have seasons. What is even more incredible is that the seasons aren’t the same worldwide. There is a season for everyone. There are places you can go and leave the cold winters if you don’t like the cold. There are also places you can go to leave the heat if you are not a fan. Whatever type of weather you are looking for, there is somewhere on this planet called Earth that you can move to.

Consider the sun, faithfully following its natural course. Each morning, it rises, and each evening, it sets as if it knows the perfect time. This, too, is a wonder. Each day brings a subtle change, a slight variation in the sun's stay. It's a testament to the ever-changing yet perfectly orchestrated nature of our world.

Next, it says, “You make darkness, and it is night when all the animals for the forest come creeping out. The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God.” How great it is that the animals can hunt under the cover of night. They can come out while most humans are sleeping and get the whole night to themselves. Then, when humans are awake, they get to sleep and rest up. I like how the verse says, “The young lions roar for their prey, seeking their food from God.” It reminds us that God provides for all of us. God created this universe with everything we would need to survive. There is enough food for everyone.

Right after I said that, I thought about all the people that are starving to death every day. I looked it up, and one website said 25,000 people die every day due to hunger and related causes. This is a scary number. My first thought is, why isn’t God providing for these people? Why isn’t he giving them what they need to survive? Then He reminds me that we live in a broken world. There are many man-made reasons why they don’t have food. Here is what the actionagainsthunger.org website says, "The planet produces enough food to feed everyone on Earth. Yet more than 3 billion people can’t afford to eat a healthy diet. Why? Interconnected issues of poverty, inequity, conflict, climate change, gender discrimination, and weak government and health systems all play a role in keeping nutritious food out of reach for millions of families around the world.”

God has created enough food and resources for the world and all of the people he created to be in it, yet so many are still starving. This isn’t because God doesn’t care or is not generous. This is because we live in a broken world. We have people who take a lot more than they need and who use their power to prevent others from getting what they need. We have people who are selfish and keep the resources to themselves. All they care about is getting more and more power and wealth for themselves, and they don’t even care about what that means for others.

This is not how God created us to be nor how He created the world to be. However, once sin entered the world, so did this corruption. That doesn’t mean all is lost. God has placed good people in the way of the corrupt people. Yes, there are a lot of people in the world who do despicable things. There are also a lot of good people who are fighting against those people. I know it can sometimes feel overwhelming, and we can start to wonder if the whole world will fall apart. What we must do is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus. If we keep our eyes on the Lord, we will see that He is bigger than anyone and anything that we run into in this world. God is sending people all the time to help those in need. Yes, I am sure it breaks his heart any time one of his children dies for any reason. I am sure it is particularly sad if it is for a lack of resources when He has ensured plenty of resources for His children.

This is why God sends missionaries and organizations who fight for the rights of people who are starving, who are being sold into slavery, who don’t have drinking water and anyone else who is in trouble. God sees all of His children. He sees their plight and He is sending people to help fix it. He didn’t create this mess, but you can bet He is not ignoring it. He sees it, and He is helping with it.

Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for how amazing you are. We thank you for providing all you have given us. Lord, we are sorry that some people are hogging all the wealth and resources you have given this world. We ask that you put on our hearts how we can help those who are starving or who do not have drinking water. Lord, put on our hearts where we are being wasteful and what we can do to change our wasteful habits. Lord, thank you for being so awesome and for creating nature the way you have. It is amazing how you created everything to work so smoothly. Everything has a time and a place, and that is great! We love you, Lord, and we ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name. Amen.

Thank you for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. If this podcast has blessed you in some way, would you consider supporting the production costs of this podcast? There is a link to donate below. Also, tomorrow is our last night in the surrender series. There is still time to sign up, so you can join us tomorrow night for week #4 of the surrender series. I hope to see you live on Zoom Tuesday night at 8 PM ET. I look forward to meeting everyone else here tomorrow morning. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I. Have a blessed day!

Today’s Word from the Lord was received in February 2024 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email [email protected]. Today’s Word from the Lord is, “But you must step forward and not step backward. When I call you, you will know. Don't doubt. Send that doubt to me. And know that I live in you as you live in me.”

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