In this unforgettable bloody podcast, we bring the clotting cascade to life through a cast of hilarious and high-yield characters designed to make clinical recall effortless under pressure.

Play Table Tennis = PTT = Inside = Intrinsic.

Play Tennis = PT = Outside = Extrinsic.”

You’ll meet:

🟢 Lucky Number 7 — our tennis-playing war cry–shouting Factor VII who kicks off the extrinsic pathway by yelling “This is WAR!” 🎾 Warfarin is his signature drug, and he’s monitored using PT/INR.

🔵 Inside, we find our Intrinsic Table Tennis Team:

• Factor XII – Haggard from Hogwarts: Looks impressive but doesn’t cause bleeding (aPTT prolonged, no clinical bleeding).

• Factor XI – The Ashkenazi Post-Op Guy: Mild bleeding, especially post-surgery.

• Factor IX – Hemophilia B Player: Jersey with a bold upside-down 9 (“B”) — classic for Hemophilia B (X-linked, prolonged aPTT, normal PT).

• Factor VIII – “Dave the ATE Guy”: Sporting an “ATE” shirt and bitten fruit logo — he’s your clue for Hemophilia A (treated with Factor VIII or DDAVP).

“Ate = Eight = Hemophilia A” and “B = looks like upside-down 9 = Hemophilia B.”

🔴 In the Commons, you’ll meet:

• Jason from Friday the 13th: Our grim reaper of clotting, holding the bills for Factors 10, 5, 2, 1, and 13.

• Prothrombin (Factor II) — aka “Thumb Bill”: Turns into thrombin (the $2 bill with a big thumbprint) and activates fibrinogen (the $1 bill made of fiber) into fibrin.

• Factor XIII (Jason again) then seals the clot with a sticky web. The clot is locked. Game over.

🌿 Then enters Heparin: A barefoot hippie who amplifies Antithrombin the Ferret 🐾, whose collar reads “10 & 2 Stopper.”

• Heparin inactivates Factor 10a and Thrombin (2a), preventing the clot entirely.

• Heparin’s work is monitored by aPTT (not PT/INR).

Mnemonic: “Check the aPTT!” echoes across the commons as the web dissolves.

✅ Quick Clinical Takeaways:

• Hemophilia A = Factor VIII deficiency → Treat with Factor VIII or DDAVP

• Hemophilia B = Factor IX deficiency → Treat with Factor IX

• Both: X-linked, prolonged aPTT, normal PT

• Heparin = Acts on Factors 2a & 10a, monitored by aPTT

• Warfarin = Inhibits Factor VII, monitored by PT/INR

👨‍⚕️ Built for emergency physicians and learners who want fast recall, sticky mnemonics, and a clotting cascade you’ll never forget.